Zeppo No Longer
by Vlad-the-Impish
Summary: Xander Harris realises that the only person that can change everyone’s opinion of him is himself. REVISED.
1. Prologue

Title: Zeppo No Longer

Author: VladtheImpish

Rating: Nothing worse than the show, although I am a little more free with the expletives.

Summary: Xander Harris realises that the only person that can change everyone's opinion of him is himself.

Spoilers: Season four, kinda. Most things happen but not necessarily in the right order, or with the same people.

A/N: The Xander Harris that appears is more serious than a lot of people would like. I felt that the only way for him to be seen as the person he truly is requires him to remove the walls that he has placed around himself, the largest being his constant use of humour. His humour will remain but it will be toned down somewhat.

**Zeppo No Longer**

_**Prologue**_

Xander looked at the leather bound journal in his hands and once again wondered what possessed him to buy it, shuddering at his poor choice of words. He'd been possessed too many times to be flippant about it, even with himself. He then looked around the bare walls of his bedroom and remembered exactly why he had bought it.

Picking up a pen, Xander opened the journal and began to write before he could change his mind.

'_Where should I begin? I never saw the need to have a journal before, so I'm not sure on the etiquette involved. God, if anyone saw that I used the word etiquette, let alone correctly, they'd have Giles check me for extra occupants in a heartbeat._

_Where was I? Oh, yes. My name is Xander Harris and I've lived my entire life in Sunnydale, California. Today I'm leaving and I don't know when, or even if, I'll be back._

_Up until three years ago, I only had two real friends, Willow and Jesse. God, that makes me sound like some sort of loner. I was friendly with a lot of people, but I'd only ever considered Willow and Jesse to be my friends. We did everything together, I once described us as the modern day equivalent of the Three Musketeers, and we had a bond that we all believed could never be broken._

_Then all that changed when one Buffy Anne Summers arrived in town and my world was turned on its head._

_From the moment I saw her I was in love, literally head over heels in fact. My first words to her were 'Can I have you?', and those words have repeated in my head every time I have seen her since then. I never say it out loud as I know the answer would be 'No', just as it was when I asked her out, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to, and imagining what it would be like for her to say yes._

_In the past three years since Buffy arrived, my life has changed a lot; I find out that Vampires, Werewolves and every other thing that goes bump in the night are all real, apart from leprechauns so Giles told me. I find out that I have been living in a demon hotspot all of my life, affectionately called a Hellmouth. I also find out that Buffy has been chosen by, well I guess it was God, to kick demon ass and chew bubblegum, although I think she chose to do the latter. In every generation a Slayer is born, chosen to fight the darkness and Buffy was it._

_Less than a week after we met Buffy, our trio became a duo. Jesse had been killed and turned by a vampire called Darla, and I was the one that staked him, which ranks as one of the most painful experiences of my life. I know that it wasn't actually Jesse, it was a demon with his face, but it didn't, and doesn't, make me feel any better._

_That first week was also the first time I saved Buffy's life and received no thanks for it; I have done so many times since then, but rarely if ever have I received even a nod in thanks. It's not like I did it for the recognition, but that doesn't mean I like being taken for granted, and it doesn't take two seconds to say 'thanks'._

_Almost every woman that has been interested in me since I met Buffy has either turned out to be a demon, tried to kill me, or in most cases both. I have faced more life threatening situations than any one person should in a lifetime, especially for someone who isn't even legally allowed to drink alcohol. But none of that accounts for why I'm leaving._

_Even though it wasn't our job, Willow and I helped Buffy and Giles, her Watcher who helps her develop her fighting skills, with fighting the good fight. We helped, not because we had to, but because we wanted to. Over time Willow started to take an interest in magic, and has slowly but surely grown in experience and power. I've also dabbled with magic, but the results were anything but promising._

_Another thing that started to change over the years was how the others in our little band perceived me. They slowly started to believe that I was nothing more than a burden to the group, and that I would end up getting hurt, or worse, get others hurt. They even went so far as to tell me to stop helping with patrols._

_I don't see that Buffy has any reason to be pushing me away, saying that I'm getting in the way and she's just trying to protect me. If she only knew what I've done, she wouldn't be able to use that as an excuse._

_She knows that I saved her life after she first faced the Master, who was a vampire that wanted to rule the world. She doesn't know that I had to force Angel, the vampire with a soul who said he loved her, into showing me the way to the Master's lair._

_She doesn't know that I stopped Angelus, who Angel becomes without a soul, from killing her when she was lying in a hospital bed._

_She doesn't know that I stopped a gang of zombies from blowing up the high school while she and the others were fighting the sisterhood of Jhe._

_Buffy and the others don't know because I haven't told them, partly because I don't like talking about what I suppose would be called good deeds, and partly because I know that they'd only rip me a new asshole if they found out. They wouldn't care that I got out of it safely, only that I got into it in the first place. If I do something wrong they berate me, and if I do something right… they berate me anyway for being in there in the first place._

_Of course, that isn't the only reason why I haven't told them, although it does rank pretty high. I need to know that they want to have me around because of what they do know about me, instead of having to lay out everything I've done for them. I still love Buffy despite everything, and every time she pushes me away 'for my own good' my heart shatters._

_That's another reason why I need to leave. If I stay, I know I'll either tell her exactly how I feel about her, and then what little relationship we have left will go, or I'll eventually hate her for never returning my feelings and I love her too much to allow that to happen._

_If I'm not here, I'll have a better chance of getting over her, whilst being able to maintain some semblance of a relationship with her. I sound pathetic I know, but I don't have a lot going for me in my life, so I want to keep whatever I do have for as long as possible._

_There is of course another reason why I need to get away from Sunnydale and it has to do with Willow. We were caught kissing by Oz, who is Willow's boyfriend, and Cordelia who, at the time, was my girlfriend. I have no idea why it started, let alone why we repeated it, and when we finally decided to stop for the sake of our current relationships, we were found out. That was partly Spike's fault, having kidnapped us and all, and I will be having… words with the bleach blonde vampire when I have the chance, but that doesn't change the fact we were caught with our fingers in the proverbial cookie jar._

_I tried to fix things with Cordelia, but she wanted nothing to do with me and I can't blame her for that either. I'm not even sure why I tried to patch things up with her to be perfectly honest; I knew that it would never go anywhere all the time I had feelings for Buffy, but the selfish part of me didn't want to be alone and she had been my best shot. It wasn't that I didn't care for her, because I did, but she was never first in my heart._

_When we were caught, Willow had to stop being around me to try and fix things with Oz and I don't blame her for that. What __**did**__ annoy me was that everyone blamed me for what happened. I didn't force Willow to kiss me the first time, or any time after that for that matter. What we did was wrong, I freely admit that, but it was something __**we**__ did wrong, both of us equally. It seems, however, that everyone has forgotten that it takes two to tango, and Willow is almost being treated as a victim in all this._

_Anyway, Willow and Oz are back to talking to each other and Oz is finding it easier to be around me, but I don't even know that we could be classified as friends anymore, and my relationship with Willow is held together by a thread._

_If I stay and nothing changes I will die inside._

_I can't stay in a place where the two most important people in my life don't want me around. I've told them that I am going on a journey of self-discovery and that I'm planning on driving to all fifty states. They just say to have fun. They don't even bother trying to tell me that Hawaii is an island. What does that tell you?_

_They are the only people who could make me stay and they just don't care enough to try. I just need to find somewhere I am needed.'_

Xander read over what he had wrote and actually felt a little better that he had put his thoughts into words. He had bottled up a lot of this up over the years, not having anyone around that he could talk with about things, and he didn't know just how tense he had been about things until now. Writing in a journal wasn't the same as talking to someone, but for now it would have to do.

Putting the journal in his pack, Xander checked his room to make sure he had everything he wanted to take with him, and then made his way to his car.

* * *

Xander looked around his room and once again looked down at the journal he had in his hands. It had been a while since he'd even looked at it, a long while in fact, and had actually only entered one entry into it. For some reason he felt the urge to write in it again, and as he thought about it, it made a twisted sort of sense.

'_It's been four months since I left Sunnydale. I know I should have updated this more frequently, but as I said at the beginning I'm new to this whole journal-keeping thing._

_I spent the first couple of months driving from state to state, either staying in dingy motels or in the back of my car, getting work wherever I could. At night I would patrol, not because I had some destiny to fulfil or a past to atone for, but to make sure that anyone who was unlucky enough to be chosen as a vamps meal got to see another sunrise._

_I've actually gotten rather good; on a couple of occasions I've had to take on three vamps at the same time and gotten through it well enough to go to work the next day. I think that knowing Buffy and the others won't arrive has helped me a lot. I have always had good survival instincts, but knowing that those instincts are all that I have has forced me to get better._

_My Lone Ranger bit went on until I got to the town of Oxnard, where the engine of my car decided to spread itself along the highway. I didn't have enough cash to pay for the car to get fixed, so I got a job at a male strip club as a barman. I pretty much kept myself to myself; working during the day and patrolling at night, when I wasn't working a double shift anyway._

_After a month I could afford to get my car fixed, but even when my car was finished, I decided to stay. There was quite a large vamp population when I got there, and I decided to try to bring that down. This was a place I could make a difference. I wanted to make a difference._

_And I did make a difference. It wasn't long before I heard that vamps were leaving town so they didn't become dust in the wind. There were even rumours floating around that the Slayer had decided to visit Oxnard with a mission to kill every vampire in residence._

_I knew that things had been blown out of proportion, and that the vamps simply weren't used to having someone around who fought back, but I liked the fact that I was making the town safer again._

_The trouble was, as much as I was making a difference, I still had a void inside that I wasn't able to fill._

_I was starting to settle down and think of my motel room as home, when my boss had a stripper call in sick and I had to fill in for them. I got up there, did my thing, collected my tips and went home. When I got to my room, I decided I was going to quit and go back to Sunnydale._

_It wasn't because of what I did, as I would have just refused. I decided to leave because I didn't care that I did it. I got away to stop feeling unwanted, and ended up not feeling anything at all._

_I realised then that the void I had inside would only be filled by my real home, Sunnydale._

_I realised that I had run away from my problems when I should have tried harder to fix them. What was worse was that I was acting like the rest of my family, and I had always promised myself I would never turn out like them._

_Even if I never get things back to where they were before or even if things get worse than, I know that I have to try._

_Tomorrow, as soon as I gave in my notice, I was making my way back home.'_

Xander put his journal into his bag and, after taking one last look around the motel room that had become to feel like home, got up and went to his car.

"Sunnydale, here I come."


	2. Chapter One

_**Chapter One**_

'_I got back to Sunnydale a couple of days ago, about a week after I left Oxnard. It should have only taken me a couple of hours, but I wasn't really in any rush to get back so I took the scenic route._

_When I got to the old homestead, I found out my parents hadn't really notice I'd been gone, apart from them moving all of my things to the basement so they could use my room to store a load of bootleg whiskey they had acquired in my absence. At least they hadn't hocked my stuff, which to be honest surprised me._

_They also decided that I was to pay rent, which was just another way of getting out of actually working for a living themselves. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to afford to rent a place of my own, they had me over a barrel so I saw no other option than to agree._

_The first thing I did the morning after I returned was to get a job at the local human bar. It turned out that my new boss knew the owner of the club in Oxnard, so there wasn't much of an interview. He said that anyone who could stand to work for them as long as I did deserved a chance._

_Once I had my employment situation sorted, I decided to go round and see Giles. Although we never had a close relationship, I still looked to him as a kind of mentor, something I hadn't really experienced before. His opinion of me matters a hell of a lot more than my father's I can tell you._

_When he opened the door the first thing I noticed was that he wasn't wearing tweed. The second thing I noticed was that he actually seemed to have missed me.'_

* * *

"Xander! How the devil are you?" Giles asked as he opened the door.

"I've seen better days, Giles, but I'm good," Xander replied, keeping mostly to the truth. "How's everything been going for you?"

"I must admit that I am getting used to being a gentleman of leisure."

Giles didn't invite Xander in, but he didn't take it to heart given that was the usual way those in the know about Sunnydale's nocturnal population acted. Xander knew that it had been some time since the older man had seen him and, given that it was nighttime, he couldn't be sure that he hadn't been turned.

When Xander stepped inside, Giles actually hugged him, which while surprising to the younger man, was not unwelcome. It certainly helped to know that someone knew he hadn't been around.

"You may not believe this Xander," Giles began, "but you have been greatly missed these last few months."

"You're right Giles, I **don't** believe it," Xander replied bluntly. "**You** may have missed me, but I know a certain blonde and a redhead who probably haven't."

"I won't insult your intelligence by trying to persuade you otherwise," he said with a sigh. "I must admit that I am surprised by their actions towards you of late."

"No offence," Xander said, "but you weren't exactly trying to keep me in the group either."

"You're right," Giles admitted with chagrin, "and I have no excuse for my actions. You may have been a little reckless in you actions at times, but you were never a danger to yourself or others. I'm afraid that I allowed my duty to Buffy cloud my better judgement."

"I'm not going to say that it didn't hurt being ostracised from the group, because it did," Xander told him, "but I realise that you did what you felt was right at the time."

"Thank you for being so forgiving."

* * *

'_We spent the next hour or so talking about what we did during the summer. It turns out that I wasn't the only one who felt left out by Buffy and Willow. He has hardly seen either one of them since graduation, and when he did it was only so they could borrow something from him, which he always allowed._

_He also told me about his girlfriend Olivia, who was on old flame from England who had been over here in America for the last couple of months due to her work. I told him I was happy for him, and that it was good to see him having a normal life, as he had sacrificed so much being here._

_I could tell that not having Buffy around hurt him a lot, he was also concerned that Buffy may have been neglecting her training. We both knew that was a very dangerous situation._

_I told him about the different towns I had been to, and even my very short career as a male stripper, having sworn him to secrecy before doing so, which he found extremely amusing. I told him about patrolling the towns that I had stayed at and what had happened in Oxnard._

_Although I could tell he was impressed, I knew he was thinking I had embellished my achievements.'_

* * *

"I don't want you to think I don't believe you," Giles began tentatively, "but you were never exactly known for your fighting skills Xander."

"I'll have you know that my fighting skills have come a long way since the last time you saw me, G-Man, not to mention that you only really saw me when I got in the way of something after you or one of the others."

"Don't call me that," Giles told him, referring to his nickname.

Xander could tell that he was no longer annoyed by the moniker he had given him, but the British in him wouldn't allow him to admit it.

"Don't you think that you may be wrong in your opinion of me?" Xander asked, feeling a little hurt he didn't believe him.

"I am certain that you have improved since the last time I saw you," he conceded, albeit a little reluctantly, "but for you to be able to achieve what you have told me…"

"If you don't believe me," Xander said, interrupting him, "I could prove it to you."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" he asked.

"You have a training room here in the basement don't you?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Well then, lead the way and I will show you what I can do!" Xander declared with a flourish.

"You're suggesting that we spar?" Giles said in surprise.

"You don't have a problem with that do you?" Xander asked, a small smirk on his face.

Giles actually had a smirk on his face that matched Xander's as he led him to the training room he had installed in his basement. Xander knew Giles wouldn't want to show him up, but he did want to deflate the 'ego' he feels Xander had acquired. They both went through some warm up exercises, before they made their way onto the mats. Each man had a rubber stake in their hand, to further simulate a real life situation.

"I am ready when you are G-Man!"

"Don't call me that."

* * *

'_Giles started his first move before he finished his sentence. Now I know that Giles has been training far longer than I have, and because of that I kept it to the basics, deliberately passing up chances that could have won me the match that were risky._

_He underestimated me early on and left himself wide open for a moment, which I took full advantage of, earning me a successful shot to his chest. If it had been for real, I would have been going to get a Dust Buster by that point._

_He quickly learnt from his mistake, and a few minutes later Giles caught me with a leg sweep and evened the score._

_We continued to spar; Giles had the advantage of experience, but I had youth and stamina, so we were pretty even. I'm sure that, had it been a real fight, Giles would have probably won; I knew that he could fight dirty, but he kept himself to more honourable methods._

_Ten minutes later and we were still level, with neither one getting a clear kill shot. Giles eventually indicated that he wanted to stop, and I could tell that he was pleased with what he saw. I was pretty glad that he called time first, as I hadn't been sure how much longer I would have been able to go on myself.'_

* * *

"Xander, I apologise for not believing in your fighting ability, you have improved a great deal from the last time I saw you," Giles told him, his surprise mixed with pride.

"I had no choice but to improve fast," Xander replied, "as I'd've been nothing more than a meal if I hadn't. I guess I have to thank the soldier's memories for that."

"What do you mean?" he asked, curious.

"I've noticed that during a fight, his memories and skills become clearer," Xander explained. "The fighting styles he possessed are quite extensive; although I've only been able to master the basic fighting principals, I can sometimes access the more advanced techniques but more out of instinct than anything else."

"I had noticed during our session that you would be performing some advanced moves one moment and then only the basics the next," Giles admitted, having wondered about that inconsistency.

"I was actually going to ask you about that."

"Yes, how so?"

"Would you consider training me?" Xander asked. "Not just physically, but mentally as well so I can have more control over the memories? As you saw the techniques are there but I don't have enough control to consistently use them."

"Of course Xander, it would be my pleasure."

Xander knew that Giles wouldn't have refused him by that point; he could tell that the older man was missing his training sessions with Buffy, hell, he was missing Buffy period, and would relish the company. Xander also knew that Giles would see trying to find a way to allow him better access to his soldier memories as a challenge, and Giles liked nothing more than a challenge, especially one that wouldn't run the risk of concussion.

"That's great Giles," Xander told him happily, "I want to become as good as possible, because I've no intention of stopping patrolling now. It's my choice and I choose to fight," he added, ensuring to get his point across.

"I had a feeling that was your motivation, Xander, and I do not intend to persuade you otherwise," Giles assured him. "You do realise of course that Buffy may have something to say about that?"

"I know she will, but her main reason for keeping me out of the whole Slayer thing was that I was a liability; she won't have that excuse anymore, not that she ever had it in the first place. Anyway, what makes you think I was going to tell her?" he added with a smile.

"I guess you do have a point Xander," Giles replied, smiling also. "I do have two conditions that you will have to agree to before I will train you."

"And they are?" Xander had a feeling what they would be, but thought he'd let Giles say them anyway.

"The first is that you ring me as soon as you get back from a patrol."

"I would have done that anyway Giles. I know how important it is to keep up to date intelligence and I wouldn't want to add to your worries," he assured him.

"Quite. The other condition is that you learn more about Demonology; you know as well as anyone that you will encounter a lot more than just Vampires here in Sunnydale, and knowing what you are fighting will help in defeating it."

"As I just said, I know how important intelligence is; the more I have the longer I'll live, so I've no problem with that. You know I'm not exactly strong with the academia," Xander pointed out, "but I'll do my best."

"That is all I ask," Giles assured him, believing that Xander was capable of much more than he had showed academically if given the proper motivation, "but I'm sure that you'll do fine. Now that we have everything sorted, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Actually I would love one," Xander replied, surprising him, "I developed a taste for it on my travels."

* * *

'_I spent a couple more hours with Giles before I needed to get back home. Before I left, I said to him that had probably been the longest amount of time we had ever spent together without having to research, and that it was a shame we hadn't done it sooner. We shook hands and I left, thinking that if nothing else works out, I had at least mended one fence._

_The next day I went round to Willow's to say hello, but her mother said that she had moved into the dorms at the college. I considered asking for the address but decided against it, as I doubted that she'd want a 'townie' disrupting her college life._

_As it wasn't far, I then decided to go round to Buffy's but Joyce, Buffy's mother, said the same, although she did say that they weren't sharing. I'm surprised that Willow didn't hack in to the college computer and set them up. She invited me in and we talked for a while about what I had done during the summer; I left out the stripper story and about the fact I had been patrolling just in case she told Buffy when she saw her. She told me that Cordelia had left for LA to become an actress; I asked her if she had a contact number, but she didn't._

_It wasn't long before she started talking about Buffy and what she had been doing, and she asked me why I hadn't let them know how I was doing.'_

* * *

"I don't know Mrs. Summers," Xander replied, lying through his teeth.

"How many times have I told you to call me Joyce?" Joyce said to him in mock annoyance before turning serious. "I'm not stupid Xander; you know why you didn't tell them."

"Ok, Joyce, I guessed that they weren't really bothered what I was doing," he told her bluntly.

"Xander you have to know that isn't true; they have both been worried about you."

"Please don't think I'm being mean Joyce," Xander said, not wanting to alienate her, "but I bet it took them both a long time before they realised they hadn't heard from me didn't it?"

"Well…" she trailed off, not wanting to admit Xander was right, but doing so anyway.

"I thought as much," he sighed. He knew what the answer would be, but it didn't make Xander feel any better to be proven right. "I didn't contact them because I truly didn't think I was ever coming back."

"Why ever not?" she asked, shocked he would do such a thing.

"What did I really have to come back to?" he asked in reply. "Last year both Buffy and Willow started to grow more distant from me. I know that Willow had her reasons and I respect them, but Buffy just stopped wanting me around. They all blamed me for what happened between Willow and myself, which I was, but Willow had an equal part in it, and yet she's seen as the innocent party."

Joyce knew all about the whole 'Fluke' incident between Willow and Xander, and she had been disappointed in both of them, she knew that Xander never intentionally hurt anyone.

"Buffy just wanted to make sure that you were safe," she told him, defending her daughter, "she was worried that you would get seriously hurt helping her with her 'other' activities."

Joyce knew all about Buffy being the Slayer, but she still found it difficult to say it out loud. Xander can't say that he blamed her.

"I know that Joyce," he conceded, more for her benefit than anything else, "but I've been helping her out since the first day I met her. We spent most of our time together during those 'other' activities; when they forced me out of the group I felt like a leper. They only included me in the whole Graduation episode because they needed my military experience and none of them could come up with a better plan. I stopped being their friend and became nothing more than a tool. Also Willow isn't exactly a black belt; it takes her a while to build up the power required to perform her spells, and during that time she's as vulnerable to attack as the rest of us. Oz maybe a werewolf, but in human form he had the same level of fighting skill as myself, just a better sense of smell. Despite that I didn't hear Buffy asking **them** to stop patrolling. Add in the fact that I've spent the least amount of time in hospital out of all of us, and you can see why I hadn't made definite plans to come back."

Joyce could tell that Xander didn't want to talk about it anymore, probably to ensure they didn't get into an argument, so she changed the subject.

"What have you been doing since you came back?"

"I've got a job tending bar to pay the rent my parents have decided to charge me, and I've asked Giles to help me with my training," he told her. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Buffy or Willow about that last bit," he added, "as they'd only have a go at Giles and force him to stop."

"I won't tell them anything Xander I promise."

"Thank you."

Xander finished the drink Joyce made for him, thanked her for the talk and went to leave. Before he did, he hesitated for a moment and then turned around to face her.

"If you see Buffy or Willow before I do, could you say hello for me?" he asked.

"Of course Xander," she replied, before giving him a hug and telling him he was welcome anytime.

* * *

'_My final chore for the day was to go on patrol. It was my first patrol since I had got back, and I had almost forgotten how many cemeteries Sunnydale had. The other thing I forgot was just how many other demons lived here._

_I decided not to be out too long, as I didn't want to bump into Buffy and get into the inevitable argument my presence would cause. I still managed to stake five vamps before I decided to go home, so I considered it a success._

_As I was nearing the cemetery exit for home, I spotted a group of four men, all in camouflage, carrying weird looking guns. I had considered following them but decided against it, mainly because I didn't think it was my place to do so._

_Although it wasn't the weirdest thing I had seen by a long shot, I still thought it would be a good idea to tell Giles about it when I rang him, just to see what his take on it was. I doubt that they were going to a fancy dress party, but unless they're a direct threat I had no problem in leaving them alone.'_


	3. Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two**_

'_It's been a month since I got back to Sunnydale. You never know, I might get used to having this thing and update it more often, but I doubt it._

_My training with Giles has been going really well, he's surprised at how quickly I'm picking things up. He's been training me in several different meditation techniques, and I've been able to access more and more of the soldier memories I possess. I've progressed enough that Giles has started me on weapons training, and I'm getting to be quite good with most, if not all, of the weapons in Giles' arsenal._

_My demon knowledge is improving, but not as fast as I would like. Giles says that he knows I'm doing my best, but I can't help but feel I can do better. It feels strange to have someone, other than Willow, compliment me on my progress though, especially when I can hear the sincerity behind it. It also feels good._

_I had told him about the men I'd spotted and, although he had no idea what they were doing or why they were there, he said he would get his contacts to look into it. I'd seen them a few more times since that night and reported it to Giles each time, just so we could keep track of where they were operating._

_What I found strange was that although they were hunting demons, they weren't actually killing them. Instead, they were catching them and taking them somewhere. I've tried to track them a couple of times to their HQ, but I always lose them near the college campus. Wherever they were going, it was in that area._

_On a couple of occasions I've taken Giles with me on patrol so he could watch me under battle conditions. He said that he was been impressed with the efficiency in which I took out the vampires and other demons we encountered._

_Buffy always likes to soften them up first before making the kill; he says it has something to do with the Slayer essence as opposed to Buffy herself. I know that because I don't have the strength and speed of a Slayer, I can't fight in the same way._

_I actually try to steer clear of a fight altogether if possible; I use a sword to take out their legs and then killing them once they were incapacitated. It helps that I fight dirty, using every trick both Soldier Boy and Giles knew._

_I've also got on in my job; it may not be the best paying job in the world but I enjoy talking to the customers, the sober ones at least. My boss is nice, but he does like to cut as many corners as was legally possible and probably a few more on top of that. I don't like it, but I really need the job, so I just ignore whatever I don't like. In a way it felt like home._

_I decided to take a night off of patrolling and work a few days ago and decided to pay the Bronze a visit. I actually felt a little old looking at the clientele, something I never thought I would feel, and considered leaving when I spotted Buffy sitting alone at one of the tables. I just watched her for a few minutes, unsure whether I actually wanted to talk to her yet or not._

_Finally my need to be close to her again overrode everything else, so I decided to talk to her. When I got there she was standing up to go when she spotted a couple dancing. I could tell that she wasn't happy and, because I hate to see her unhappy, I decided to bite the bullet and try to cheer her up. Due to the noise of the club and the fact I am not a member of the demon community, I was able to get behind her without her spotting me and tap her on the shoulder.'_

* * *

"What are we looking at?" Xander asked.

Buffy jumped sky high and instinctively grabbed Xander and threw him to the floor. She was too shocked to notice that he had controlled his fall and had gotten right back on his feet. After a moment, she finally recognised who he was.

"Xander!" she squealed.

"That's my name."

It was at this point that she pulled Xander into a rib-cracking hug; she still forgot sometimes that she could lift a small car. Xander tried not to, but he really started to enjoy being that close to her again, even if it was painful. It was only when breathing became a difficulty that he had to say something.

"Buff, air a necessity," he managed to gasp out.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, releasing her hold on him. Xander felt the loss of her touch immediately.

"No sweat, so how is my favourite Slayer then?" he asked.

Mentally he smacked himself upside the head. Xander couldn't believe it, he'd only been around her for a minute and was already falling back to type.

"Fine," she told him, although there was no way that the tone matched the word.

"Right," he drawled, "now tell me how you really feel."

"Lets see, I was kicked out of my easiest class as I didn't sign up on time and the other classes are going so far over my head it's crazy. My roommate is a Celine Dion fan who will explode if she gets any more chipper. Willow is annoyingly happy and taking to college like a duck to water. Oz already knows half the campus, as his band do regular gigs at the different frat houses. Oh, and I had my ass handed to me by a Vamp called Sunday and all of my stuff has been taken."

Xander didn't have a chance to respond to her rant, as she immediately started to cry once she'd finished, so he did what came naturally and held her in his arms for a few minutes, repeatedly saying that everything was going to be fine. Once she stopped crying, Xander reluctantly released her, and then made sure that her eyes met his.

"Buffy, you are the strongest person I know and I don't just mean physically," he told her softly. "You have met every challenge you have ever faced head on. Whenever I am alone and scared the first thing I always think is 'what would Buffy do?' You are my hero Buffy."

The look she had on her face right at that moment was worth more to Xander than anything else in existence.

"You really mean that?" she asked softly.

"Of course I mean it. Now let's find where these vamps live and stake them good."

The first thing Xander did after giving Buffy her pep talk was to ring Giles and tell him the situation, asking if they could raid his weapons chest as Buffy's had been taken. Of course, he said yes immediately, so Xander had thanked him and then told him they would be round in an hour.

"OK," he told her, "Giles is expecting us so we'll be able to grab some weapons once we know where Sunday's hideout is."

"And how are we going to do that?" she asked.

"There is only one place to go when information is needed and that's Willy's Bar," he replied. "We'll get him to tell us what we need to know, we'll stock up on weapons at Giles' and then we'll go and then we'll put that bitch in the ground."

* * *

'_We walked to Willy's in silence; I was still conflicted over how I should feel around her, and she was just focusing on what she was going to do to Sunday when she finds her._

_When we got there, Buffy went to break the door down but I managed to open it before she had a chance and walk inside. There weren't that many in the bar that night as the sun hadn't gone down that long ago, which meant that if there were any trouble, we would have a good chance of getting out with all of our limbs attached._

_Noticing that Willy was behind the bar with his back to us, I called out to him.'_

* * *

"Hi there Willy, how you been?" Xander asked jovially.

"Hey kid," Willy greeted him, "feeling fine. What can I do you for?"

"Well I need some info Willy and I'm a little pressed for time, aren't I Buff?"

That was the first time Willy noticed Buffy standing beside Xander, and his face quickly drained of all blood.

"Hey everybody, the Slayer is here!" It was at that point that every patron that was sober, and able enough to do so, left.

Knowing that Buffy was in the right frame of mind to do serious damage to Willy, which would make it impossible to get anything out of him, Xander decided to speed up the proceedings by grabbing Willy and slamming him into the bar.

"Now Willy," he began, "you know that normally I am a very patient person, but tonight is an exception. I need you to tell me everything you know about a Vampire called Sunday before the urge to shove a stool up your ass overwhelms me."

Xander then decided that it would be a good time to throw a stool across the bar, and felt a sense of satisfaction when it broke into several pieces.

"Hey kid there's no need to get like that," Willy told him nervously, sweat pouring off him. "Sunday and her crew are holed up in an abandoned theatre just outside the college campus."

Knowing that Willy had told him everything he knew, Xander dropped him unceremoniously to the floor.

"Thanks Willy, now that wasn't that so bad now, was it? I do hope that you told us everything, as you won't want to see me again if you haven't. Do we have an understanding?" he asked, the threat clear.

"Yeah kid we have an understanding. I'm guessing the stories I've heard about you during the summer are right then."

Before he could elaborate, Xander left the bar and luckily Buffy followed. The last thing Xander needed right then was for her asking him questions about his summer, as he had no intention of answering until he was good and ready. Of course, Xander's luck never did last long.

"When did you get so Charles Bronson?" she asked.

"What are you on about?" Xander replied, feigning ignorance.

"Grabbing Willy, throwing the chair, threatening him. Where did all that come from, as it wasn't the Xander I know."

"I've changed a lot over the last few months but now is not the time to talk about it."

* * *

'_The journey to Giles' was quiet; I could tell that she wanted to press me for more information, but I really wasn't in the mood to give any answers._

_When we got to Giles', Buffy was going to walk straight in but I stopped her and knocked, telling her it's rude to just enter someone's house without permission, not to mention illegal. Buffy glared at me but I just ignored her._

_Giles opened the door to let us in; Buffy said hello as she walked past him, I said hi and hugged him before coming in myself._

_Giles and I have gotten quite close over the last month; he has been more of a father in that short time to me than my dad has my entire life. Buffy looked a little surprised with the exchange but said nothing. Just another thing to add to the list of questions she would eventually ask me._

_We all went down to the basement and Buffy headed straight for the weapons cabinet. While she was working out what to take with her, she started to talk to me, although it feels more like she was talking __**at**__ me.'_

* * *

"OK here's the plan; I'll go in and take them all out while you wait outside until it's safe to follow."

"Do I need to point out that you're still injured from your last encounter with Sunday?" he replied, doing his best to reign in his temper. "We don't know the layout of the place, and we have no idea how many vamps there are in there. Going in on your own is stupid."

"I need to focus and I can't spare time protecting you as well as myself," she told him firmly.

"Keep acting like this and you'll have to protect yourself from **me**," he growled.

Before she had a chance to argue, Xander went to the cupboard, took out a few stakes, a broadsword he was fond of and a crossbow, told Giles he would call when it was over and went upstairs.

As he made his way, Xander could hear Giles and Buffy talking and decided to listen in.

"Who does he think he is?" she asked incredulously. "All I want to do is keep him safe and he **threatens** me!"

"Have you thought that maybe Xander is actually more capable than you give him credit?" Giles asked her.

"No offence, but this is the same Xander we're talking about isn't it? I mean he's my friend, but he's always getting himself hurt and we have to bail him out."

"I don't know many people who would treat their friends the way you and the others have been treating Xander," Giles snapped, "which I am daily thankful for."

"Giles?"

"I agree that he has a tendency to act rashly at times, but that only occurs when he sees one of his friends in trouble. He may not have been the best person in a fight before, but that is as much our fault as it is his own, as we should have taught him how to fight from the moment he and Willow started assisting you."

"But…"

"No buts Buffy," Giles went on, interrupting her, "Xander has changed a lot over the summer, and for you to just dismiss his offer of help so vehemently is wrong, not to mention uncalled for. You should act like the friend you **claim** to be and give him the benefit of the doubt; I can guarantee that you will not be disappointed."

A few seconds later she trudged up the stairs, closely followed by Giles. She didn't look happy and went straight out the door.

"We had words and she isn't exactly in the best of moods," Giles explained. "Although it probably wasn't the best time, I said what needed to be said. I just hope that she doesn't do anything rash."

Xander just nodded at that, knowing that there was nothing to say. "I'll be there to make sure nothing happens to her Giles so don't worry," he assured. "I will call when we're finished."

"Thank you," Giles said as Xander headed out after Buffy.

* * *

'_We didn't talk on the way to the theatre, but I could tell that she was letting what Giles had said sink in, so I didn't press the issue._

_When we got to the theatre, Buffy looked as though she was going to say something to me, probably that I was to stay where I was, but stopped herself and instead kicked the door in and went inside. I quickly followed behind her, crossbow at the ready._

_There were twelve vamps in total inside, but before they could do anything I got one with the crossbow and decapitated another with my sword. Buffy went straight for who I guessed was Sunday, staking two vamps on her way as though they weren't even there._

_She was so focused on the head vamp that she didn't see a third one come at her from behind. I managed to throw a vial of holy water at him before he jumped her and staked him before he had a chance to recover._

_I was going to help her more, but I was suddenly surrounded by four of the remaining vamps. One of them, I'm guessing the second-in-command, started talking to me. I never have worked out why they like to taunt you before they try to kill you.'_

* * *

"For killing so many of us we're going to make this extremely painful," the vampire told him, "we may even turn you to bring our number back up."

"Looking at your ugly face is torture enough overbite, and the turning you'll be doing is turning to dust," Xander retorted.

"You're dead bloodbag!" the vampire yelled.

"No, **you're** dead, and I'm going to make it permanent."

* * *

'_He went to rush me, but I severed his lead leg at the knee; he screamed and fell to the floor, rolling around in agony._

_Two others charged me; I managed to decapitate one, but the other got in a kick to my head and I was sent flying into a pile of boxes. He went to jump me, but I throw my last vial of holy water at him, catching him square in the face. He covered his face with his hands, which gave me the chance to stake him._

_I got to my feet in time to block a punch from another vamp. I had dropped my sword, so I had to get in close with my stake; he got in a couple of shots, which felt like I was being hit by a truck, but I managed to stake him with an admittedly lucky strike._

_My vision was blurring slightly, but I was otherwise fine so I went back to where I landed and retrieved my sword. I went over and finished off the vamp I had disabled and looked to see how Buffy was doing._

_By the time I had a chance to see how she was getting on, Buffy had finally staked Sunday and was making quick work of the two vamps that were left. I have to admit we were lucky; we had the element of surprise and only Sunday and a couple of others were experienced vamps, the rest were newly turned. If they had been older we would have had more trouble, but we would have still kicked ass. We, or more specifically I, would have had to make a detour to the ER before going home first, but we would have kicked ass._

_I gave Giles a quick call to let him know that we were alive, and once I put my cell away, we collected Buffy's stuff and started back to her dorm room._

_Silence reigned once again for a couple of minutes before Buffy started speaking.'_

* * *

"When did you become related to Bruce Lee Xand?" Buffy asked him.

"I'm not sure what you're on about Buff," Xander replied, trying to stall for time.

"Don't try that with me," she told him, "when did you learn to fight like that?"

Xander sighed before replying. "I'm guessing between patrolling whatever town I was in during the summer, and Giles training me when I got back a month ago, my skills have improved."

He didn't want to tell her that he still had the soldier memories, as she'd probably try to get Giles to find a way to remove them.

"I'm sorry about earlier Xand," she said eventually, "I shouldn't automatically assume that you couldn't help."

"Don't worry about it Buff, I'm getting used to it now. I may have been a liability in high school, but I am now more than capable of handling myself."

"Hey I've just thought of something. If you have been back for a month, why didn't you come to see me or Willow?" she asked, feeling a little put out.

"I went to Willow's and I went to yours. Both your mom and Willow's parents told me that you had moved into the dorms at the college. I told them that if they saw you to tell you I said hello. I didn't come to find you as I doubted that you wanted a 'townie' showing you up on campus."

* * *

'_There was more silence until we reached her dorm room. The silence was only broken when Buffy told me where she wanted me to put her stuff._

_I could see that she was mulling over what had happened tonight, I could also tell she was waiting for me to start the conversation she needed to have with me to make her feel better._

_I know it makes me sound like a very small and petty man, but I didn't want her to feel better. Knowing that if I stayed any longer I would cave in, I quickly said goodnight and left before she had a chance to respond. I love her more than anything, but she needed to make the effort in the friendship this time, I've done it enough._

_The next day after my shift at work ended, I went to the coffee shop just outside campus. After about ten minutes, Willow and Oz walked in arm in arm._

_Willow spotted me and ran over to give me a hug.'_

* * *

"Oh my god Xander! How are you? How was your trip? Where did you go? What did you see? When did you get back?" Willow asked him in rapid succession.

"First things first; hello, Will, nice to see you. Now in response to your questions: I'm fine, my trip was eventful, I went to a half dozen states before staying for an extended period in Oxnard, most of the time I saw vampires that turned into dust when I shoved wood through their non-beating hearts. Oh, and about a month ago."

"A MONTH!" she screamed, causing several people to turn around and look at her strangely.

Xander was almost certain the veins in her head would have exploded if she'd said that any louder. "Easy Will, I've already had this conversation with Buffy. I went to your houses and I was told that you had moved into the dorms, knowing that 'townies' aren't welcome on campus I asked them to say hello to you when they saw you."

Willow was visibly shocked at what Xander said, but said nothing in reply. Not enjoying the silence, Xander turned to OZ.

"Oz man how is everything?" he asked.

"Cool."

"It is nice to see your conversational skills have improved during the summer."

"I try."

Xander thought that the only way to get a reaction out of him would be to shove a cattle prod up his ass.

"I missed you both," Xander conceded, unable to hold it back.

"I missed you too Xander," Willow told him, "and I'm not just talking over the summer."

"I understand that you did what you had to, I'm not saying it didn't hurt that I couldn't talk to my oldest friend, but I do understand. I'm glad you're both happy and I would like to get to know both of you better."

"Of course you can."

* * *

'_With that, Willow became the happy Willow I saw when she first came in and she started to tell me about hers and Oz's summer._

_We spent the next hour talking about what we have been doing since the last time we saw each other. Willow has of course taken to college life like a duck to water; she loved all her courses and is loved by all her tutors._

_Oz has also made the transition to college life seem easy; he and his band had been having regular gigs at frat parties, so he knows his way around and also knows almost every student there. I was glad to see them happy together._

_Willow gave me another quick hug. I was glad that we were able to talk about everything in front of Oz; it proved that they were finally able to let what happened in the past stay there._

_I left them in the coffee shop and went home. Maybe things will turn out better than I thought.'_


	4. Chapter Three

_**Chapter Three**_

'_Me again. I might actually be getting the hang of this._

_It was a couple of weeks before I saw Buffy or Willow again, but I didn't find it all that strange. I had work and they had college, so I knew they weren't actively avoiding me. My training with Giles continued and he came out with me for a couple of patrols so he could check my progress and to let off a little steam, which is understandable considering what he had just gone through._

_Ethan Rayne, the man who caused the Halloween incident that gave me the soldier memories, as well as making the adults act like children last year with that cursed candy, turned up last week and turned Giles into a Fyarl demon. Giles has known Ethan since his Ripper days back in Britain and they have a hate-hate relationship._

_I went round to Giles to report on my patrol and to have another one of our talks when I saw him in demon form. Not seeing Giles around, I put two and two together and made five, thinking that the demon in Giles' hurt him, and started to attack him._

_I was so enraged that I nearly killed him before I somehow recognised it was Giles by looking into his eyes. Once I worked that out, the next problem we had was that Fyarl demons don't speak English and I definitely didn't speak Fyarl. Luckily, he could still understand and read English, so we worked out a way for him to let me know what happened._

_I soon found Ethan and had him change Giles back; as soon as he did, he had a discussion with Ripper and me. He left soon afterwards, and did so under no illusion that if he ever tried anything like that again, or if he even set foot in Sunnydale again, he'd be sent back to Blighty in a matchbox._

_Giles has been researching the men in camouflage I told him about, but hasn't come up with anything. With the precision that they're doing things, I've worked out that they're professionals and not some vigilante group; what we haven't worked out is what they do with the demons they capture. Whatever it is cannot be of the good._

_When I did see Buffy and Willow it was at their dorm room; they had invited me over. That is itself was strange as they weren't sharing a room last time we spoke.'_

* * *

"Hey guys, how come you two are roomies? Last thing I remember Buffy telling me was that your roommate was a Celine Dion groupie."

"Well it seems that she was actually a runaway demon who decided to go to college against her father's wishes. I should have known really, only true evil could enjoy Celine. Anyway, her father came for her, hence the circular scorch mark on the carpet. To ensure that my next roommate wasn't going to try to kill me, I convinced Wills here to adjust the college computer system that she was to be transferred here."

"Well that certainly explains it. Who would have thought your hacking skills could be used for something other than working out where evil dwells?"

"I'll have you know Xander that my hacking skills have a multitude of uses, of course with none of them being entirely legal, there is a reason I only use my powers for good."

* * *

'_We continued with the banter we had all honed to a fine art._

_Buffy didn't seem to be very happy but when I asked her what was wrong, she wouldn't say anything and Willow indicated with a look that I shouldn't ask further._

_That night we did what we always used to do, watch movies, eat popcorn and make idle conversation. It was heaven._

_It also felt like a lie._

_Before I left them to go home, I told them it would be nice if they made more of an effort to see Giles, as he missed them both and was feeling left out.'_

* * *

"Yeah, we both feel bad about it," Buffy told him regretfully, Willow nodding in agreement, "it's just that we just got so preoccupied with the whole college thing that we kinda forgot everything else."

"I do understand how that can happen, but you both know that we're the only family Giles has here, and with losing his job the moment we blew up the high school, he really hasn't had a lot to do before he started training me. Look, I'm going over there tomorrow to train, why don't you both come along," he said, thinking it would be the perfect opportunity to get the gang back together again. "You can see me wipe the floor with the G-Man and worship my manliness."

"You seem to have a very high opinion of yourself Xand," Buffy commented.

"Just telling it as I see it Buff," he replied with a small grin.

"Fine, we'll come over tomorrow and watch you beat up a middle-aged librarian."

"I'll tell him you called him that Buffy."

"And I will deny it," she told him with a smile.

"Fine, as it seems that you think I shouldn't fight Ripper, why don't you and I have a little sparring session tomorrow," Xander challenged.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you, or your ego."

"Don't tell me that the mighty Slayer is afraid of a mere mortal like myself?" he said, feigning shock.

"The only thing I am afraid of is breaking you."

"Just bring it, short stuff," he retorted. That had of course been said in conjunction with the universal hand sign for 'bring it'. Xander even did the People's eyebrow just to show how serious he was.

"Oh, you are so on Harris."

"I can't wait, tiny," he taunted.

Before Buffy could respond, Willow stood up and got between the two bickering teens.

"Guys, can we please leave this for tomorrow, I just got my side of the room how I want it, I don't need you two messing everything up."

Willow knew that they were only mucking about, but once she put on her resolve face, they had but one response to give.

"Sorry Will."

"Yeah me too Wills."

"Good," she told them with a nod.

"Right then," Xander said as he got up, "as much as I want to stay here with you lovely ladies, I must now depart."

"Bye Xand."

"Goodnight Xander."

* * *

'_After the customary hugs, I left. It felt good to just hang with them for the sake of hanging, it means so much more when you do it for no other reason than you want to._

_I couldn't help but think, however, that they had just forgotten how they had been treating me, which made me think that they'd probably do it again._

_I'll cross that bridge when, and I knew it was when, I came to it._

_As suggested, they both turned up at Giles' place the next day. They had let themselves in and as they came down into the training area, Giles and I had already finished our hand-to-hand training by the time they arrived so they watched us during our sword-fighting practise._

_Both of them looked surprised that I was holding my own; I guessed that Buffy thought that night in the theatre was a fluke.'_

* * *

"That will be enough for today Xander. Your style is improving; you no longer have to think about where you should place the sword, which is allowing you to move more fluidly."

"Thanks Giles."

"You're pretty good Xand," Buffy commented.

"Yeah Xander, how did you earn to fight like that?" Willow asked.

"Practise," he replied simply.

* * *

'_Then came the highlight of the day, sparring with Buffy._

_Even though she had seen me in action a couple of weeks ago, she was still sceptical about me being able to compete with her, and had said as such several times._

_I knew that in reality I shouldn't be a match for her, especially under these conditions, but I also knew that she hadn't been training that much for the last few months, so I would use that to my advantage.'_

* * *

"You better do some warm ups Buff," Xander said, turning his attention to the blonde, "I wouldn't want you to try to use that as an excuse for when I kick your ass."

"Now Buffy," Giles began, "I do not want you to hold back against Xander, you haven't done much in the way of training so I want to see what you can do."

"Come on Giles, if I don't hold back I'll put him in hospital, I doubt he'll come out unharmed even if I do hold back."

"You'd be surprised."

* * *

'_Shaking her head, she turned to me and got into a fighting stance._

_I matched it and we circled each other for a few seconds before she decided to make the first move, probably thinking that she'd finish it quickly._

_Her lack of confidence in me, and the way she telegraphed her moves were advantageous to me, and I surprised her when I flipped and pinned her to the floor, although with her Slayer strength she wasn't there for long._

_The fight went back and forth to begin with, but as she slowly started to use more and more of her true strength and speed, it became pretty one-sided, although I still put up a pretty good effort even if I do say so myself._

_Anyway, about five minutes after my initial take down of her, she finally had me beat and I put my hands up to end the match.'_

* * *

"I've got to admit that you're pretty good Xander," Buffy told him, "although I **did** win."

"Buffy, the only reason you won was due to your superior strength and endurance," Giles informed her. "If this had been a real fight and Xander was a vampire, you would have already been drained well before they came into play."

* * *

'_The tone in his voice as Giles said that was unmistakable. He was proud of me like a father would be of a son and knowing that made me feel good._

_Buffy looked a little annoyed at how good I was, and about the relationship I had with Giles. Not wanting her relationship with Giles to get worse, I took her upstairs to the kitchen to get a drink and have a talk with her.'_

* * *

"You do realise you have nothing to worry about don't you?" Xander asked her.

"What?"

"You will always be the most important person in Giles life," Xander told her. He didn't know whether it was entirely accurate, but he did know that it was something Buffy needed to hear. "He sees you as the daughter he never had, and I know you look up to him like a father."

"I know it's silly," she said, not bothering to deny that she'd been thinking just that, "but I was feeling a little jealous of the way he was talking about you."

"Giles and I have got closer since I got back to Sunnydale," he explained, "and I wish my real father was half the man he is. But you have to know that you will always be his top priority."

"Thanks Xander, I don't know why but I really needed to hear that."

"I do think that you need to let Giles know how you feel about him more," he told her, "he was really hurt when you stopped coming over, and was getting worried that you were going to get hurt on patrol."

"You're right. I seem to be making a habit out of taking people for granted," she told him, and Xander knew she was talking about him.

Buffy gave Xander a hug and then went back downstairs, Willow coming up a couple of minutes later.

"Giles and Buffy are having a bonding moment so I thought I would leave them to it," she explained at his questioning look.

"Right. Now we're alone, are you going to tell me what is wrong with Buffy?" he asked, getting to the point. "Don't forget that I can tell when you lie to me, and if you don't tell me, you will never see the snoopy dance again."

"Hey that's not fair!" she exclaimed.

"I don't care," he told her, "spill."

"Fine," she sighed. "Last week, Buffy went to a frat party with some guy called Parker. He seemed like a nice guy and at the end of the evening they spent the night together at our place. When she woke up, he had already gone and she hasn't seen or heard from him since."

"When you say 'spent the night together' you mean they were both very tired and they fell asleep in the same bed, right?" Xander asked hopefully.

"Afraid not."

"And he hasn't called or anything?"

"No. She now thinks that it must be something she's done and feels that there's something wrong with her."

"Where does Parker live?" Xander asked, unable to stop the growl that accompanied that question.

"Xander, no!" she told him, knowing what he was planning to do.

"Will, I won't ask again. Tell me where Parker lives."

Willow realised that not telling Xander would not be the way to go. "He lives at the Kappa Omega frat house. Promise me you won't do anything silly."

"Believe me Wills, doing something silly is the last thing going through my mind," he assured her, although it didn't actually make her feel all that reassured. "Tell Buffy and Giles I'll be back in an hour and make sure she stays, but don't tell her where I've gone."

"You're still in love with her aren't you?"

"Tell me something I don't know," he told her tiredly. "I'll be back in an hour."

* * *

'_With that I left with a mission, to make Parker sorry I found out he existed._

_I reached Parker's frat house in record time, running as fast as my legs would carry me. I took a moment to calm down just enough not to scare the entire fraternity, and then I walked in and calmly asked where Parker was._

_One of his frat brothers, who looked as though he'd had a few too many drinks the night before, told me he was in his room and said it's on the third floor. I thanked the guy and then began to slowly walk up the stairs._

_As I got to the third floor, I quickly found Parker's room and then knocked loudly on the door, telling him that I was there to inspect the room. As soon as he opened the door I shoved him to the floor and put a foot on his chest so he couldn't get up.'_

* * *

"Hello there, Parker," Xander greeted him cordially. "It seems that you've been a very naughty boy." Xander heard a whimper and looked up to find that a woman was on Parker's bed, wrapped in a bed sheet and staring at him in fear. "Listen miss, Parker and I need to have a little chat, so it would be best if you leave, **now**."

The half dressed woman who Parker had been 'entertaining' ran like a bat out of hell, not even bothering to pick up her clothes.

"Who are you?" Parker asked, not looking nearly afraid enough for Xander's liking.

"I'm a friend of Buffy Summers," Xander told him, pressing down on his chest until he saw Parker wince slightly.

"Who?"

That little remark earned Parker a sharp kick to the ribs.

"The woman you met at the party last week and slept with and never called," Xander growled, finding himself perilously close to losing his temper.

"Which party last week?"

That earned him another kick to the ribs, Xander smiling slightly as he heard one give under the pressure.

"To be honest I don't care whether you remember Buffy or not, but she does. Now I am going to give you a once in a lifetime offer, and if you know what's good for you you'll accept. You're going to come with me and apologise to Buffy for treating her badly and for being a bastard. You had better be sincere when you apologise, because if she doesn't believe you, I can guarantee they will never find enough of you to identify. Have I made myself clear?" he asked as he applied more pressure to Parker's chest with his foot.

"Yes," Parker managed to gasp out, all of the air from his lungs being forced out under the pressure of Xander's foot.

"Good, now get up; you have an apology to make."

* * *

'_Parker slowly got up and I frog marched him over to Giles' place, every now and then tripping him up and then berating him for falling down._

_By the time we got there, Parker was looking decidedly worse for wear, scratches on his face and arms and dirt marks all over his clothing. Not bothering to knock, I forced Parker inside to find that Giles, Willow and Buffy were all in the living room._

_I shoved Parker to the floor and then smiled.'_

* * *

"Hello everyone," Xander greeted them all innocently. "I was just out having a stroll when I meet Parker here. He asks me if I know a Buffy Summers as he has something to say to her. Don't you Parker?" he asked the man on the floor, his tone hardening.

"Yes. Buffy, I want to apologise for the way I treated you last week. I shouldn't have just left like I did, and I apologise if I have made you feel anything other than the wonderful woman you are. I have been a bastard to you, and I hope that you accept my humble apology."

* * *

'_During our journey back, I had given Parker a few pointers on what to say, with threats of violence if he didn't say them convincingly. I could tell this was the kind of guy that went through women like Kleenex, never giving them a second thought once he'd gotten what he wanted._

_I looked over to Giles, and quickly gave him a look to tell him not to say or do anything rash. I could see that Ripper was slowly coming to the surface, and for him to intervene now would only make things worse. Luckily, he saw my look and seemed to get the message, as he leant back in his chair and began to calm down, but I could tell that Parker may well get another unexpected visit in the near future._

_Noticing that no one had said anything, I decided to move things along.'_

* * *

"Well Buffy," Xander said, "I don't know about you but I think that he is sincere. Anything else you need to say Parker? No? Good."

Before anything else could be said, Xander picked Parker up and threw him out the door.

"I'm afraid Parker couldn't stay," Xander told them faux regretfully, "he had things to do, people to see; you know how it goes. I'm going to get changed."

Xander went downstairs to change before anyone could comment, and when he returned a couple of minutes later he could see that no one had moved an inch.

"Buffy, before you say anything I know that you aren't exactly happy with me," Xander began, "but when Willow told me what happened I had to do something. No one should be allowed to make you feel the way Parker did. I'm not sorry for what I did, and I would do the same thing again without hesitation. You, Giles and Willow are my family and I will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if you don't like it."

* * *

'_With that said, and without giving anyone a chance to comment, I left._

_I know that I would do exactly the same thing again if I had to, no matter what, but I hope that I haven't destroyed our friendship, especially as thing were starting to get better.'_


	5. Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four**_

'_Although I had still seen Giles, Willow and Oz quite regularly, it was a few weeks before I saw Buffy again._

_I was out on patrol when I heard fighting; I ran to where the noise was coming from and I saw Buffy surrounded by six or seven vampires. There were several dust piles around her position, so I knew that she had already killed a few, but she looked tired and I knew if I didn't do something she could get hurt or worse._

_I had few vials of holy water on me, so I threw them at the vamps closest to me to clear a path and then shouted at Buffy to run. Once she got close to me, I threw her my sword whilst firing my crossbow and dusting the vamp closest to catching Buffy._

_Five minutes and half a dozen piles of dust later, Buffy and I were both leaning up against a crypt, trying to get our breath back.'_

* * *

"Are you OK?" Xander asked her when he had the ability.

"I am now," she replied. "You always seem to be there when I need you most." She looked at Xander strangely, and he thought that it must be because she was a little tired.

"It's what I'm here for milady," he told her with a bow.

"I'm not angry with you," she said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I know why you did what you did with Parker. I was shocked that you did it," she admitted, "but I was never angry at you."

"I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you," he told her, "I just wasn't ready for you to tell me we weren't friends anymore."

"Nothing would ever make me say that to you." She hugged him and then surprised him by kissing him on the cheek. "Are we good?"

"Yeah, we're good," Xander replied happily.

* * *

'_I offer to walk her home and she accepted; she then puts her arm in mine and we headed for her dorm room._

_When we got outside of her dorm room, I realised that I was going to have to let go of her arm, and found it the hardest thing I'd ever had to do._

_Boy, I've got it bad.'_

* * *

"Would you like to come in for a while?" Buffy asked him.

Xander knew that she didn't mean it the way he wanted her to, but even so it was almost too tempting for words.

"Sorry Buff, I can't," he said regretfully. "I have to be in work early tomorrow and I promised I would go round to Giles' once I finished on patrol." I knew I shouldn't have said it as soon as it left my lips.

"Oh," she replied, Xander thinking for a moment that he could see disappointment in her eyes, before putting it down to wishful thinking, "OK."

"Goodnight Buff, see you tomorrow?"

"Goodnight Xander, See you tomorrow."

* * *

'When I got outside of her dorm, I punched the wall hard enough to hurt.

_I knew that this was the closest I was ever going to get to have a relationship with her, and the thought was burning a hole into my soul. I don't think coming back was such a good idea if every moment of happiness I get earns me the same amount of pain in return._

_For the next month or so I saw Buffy and Willow quite regularly, and it started to feel like old times; we would go on patrol and then go to the Bronze or to Giles' place. As I wasn't alone with Buffy for long, I didn't feel the pain I had felt that night._

_Strangely, it also helped that she started going out with a guy called Riley, he was the TA in her Psychology class. I could tell that she liked him and he felt the same. I had managed to push a lot of what I was feeling for her down so I didn't need to deal; it was something I was very good at, as I've had a lot of practise._

_I was even enjoying my work, even if the pay wasn't great and all, so life was good._

_Then one night when I was working, Buffy and a few of her college friends came in. I knew that they weren't old enough to be in here but my boss had told us that all he cares about is that they can pay for their drinks. I also didn't want to embarrass Buffy in front of her friends by asking them to leave.'_

* * *

"Hi Buff," Xander greeted her, "how you doing?"

"Fine thanks," Buffy replied, looking a little awkward, "I just thought I'd let my hair down a little."

One of her friends came over and put an arm around her shoulders. "Hey Buffy, how do you know the barkeep?" he asked her.

"He's a friend of mine from High School."

Xander wasn't too sure he liked the fact that she added the 'from High School' to that, and felt a heavy weight around his heart.

"Not everyone is smart enough for college I guess," the guy said with a laugh.

* * *

'_When Buffy said nothing in my defence, I could tell that she hadn't really changed that much from before I left. Around Willow and Giles I was her friend, but around anyone else it seemed I was nothing more than an acquaintance._

_I found it ironic that she was treating me the same way Cordelia had when we first started going out, especially as Buffy had told me she hadn't liked it and that I should find someone better. At first I thought she was that better someone, but now I was starting to think otherwise._

_There was no point making an issue out of it in public, and to be honest I had given up trying at that point, so I just pushed that down with everything else.'_

* * *

"Anyway, what would you like to drink?" Xander asked them.

"Three pitchers of the cheapest beer you got, thanks barkeep," the guy said.

"Coming right up," he told him with a smile.

* * *

'_I must admit I wasn't too keen on her friends, mainly as they kept calling me 'barkeep', which soon became the second most annoying nickname I ever had, 'Zeppo' still holding onto the top-spot._

_Buffy made it a point to never look in my direction, and every time I brought the drinks over she would turn away from me, giving me more to push deep down._

_They seemed to enjoy the new beer my boss got in on promotion, the fact it was the cheapest drink we had was probably the main factor. I hadn't tried the stuff, although the boss said that I could, as I had never like beer of any sort._

_They had been in a couple of hours and were getting well and truly plastered. What started to puzzle me was the way they were acting as they consumed greater quantities of the beer. I know how to spot a drunk from a mile away, I have an entire family of them after all, and even though they were definitely not acting the way they should, they weren't acting like they were drunk._

_I knew that there was a serious problem when one of Buffy's friends came to order their latest round of drinks.'_

* * *

"What can I getcha?" Xander asked, already knowing the answer.

"We want beer, beer good."

"It sounds like you have had enough for one night," Xander told him, deciding that it was time to show a little common sense and stop serving them.

"No, we want beer. Beer good, want beer now!" the guy shouted, getting angry.

"Hey man, there's no need to shout. I think it's time for you to leave."

"BEER GOOD, HAVE BEER NOW!" he bellowed angrily.

"Uh uh, I'm cutting you off."

* * *

'_That was when everything went into chaos. Everyone, including Buffy, started jumping around shouting that they wanted more beer. It was at this point that I noticed that their physical features had changed slightly._

_They all looked more primitive, like they were the missing link or something, and my concern soon turned to panic._

_When I went round to try to calm them down, one of them jumped me and threw me into the jukebox. I must have passed out because when I came to, they were all gone._

_Knowing that there was something Hellmouthy going on, I called Giles.'_

* * *

"Hello, Rupert Giles speaking."

"Hi Giles."

"Evening Xander," he greeted him, "is everything alright? I thought you were working tonight?"

"I am," Xander replied, "but we have a situation. A group of college students, including Buffy, have gone loco after drinking some beer. One of them knocked me out and when I came to they were gone so I rang you."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

It took about ten minutes for him to arrive.

"Xander are you alright?" he asked as he saw him.

"No," Xander replied honestly, "but I will be."

"How could you be so foolish to let them drink?" Giles asked him, his anger beginning to show. "Did you not think…"

"Listen Giles," Xander said cutting him off, "I don't need a lecture from you on the evils of drink. My entire family are alcoholics, so I'm more than well aware of what alcohol can do. I also know that you have to allow people to find those things out for themselves. Buffy came in with a few of her college friends, and I didn't want to embarrass her by not allowing them to stay. They hadn't had a lot to drink, although they would have had a nice buzz going. When one of them came up to buy the last round, I said they couldn't have anymore and they went postal. They are not normally drunk Giles. They looked like they had regressed to Neanderthals or something. You know full well I would never intentionally let anything happen to her."

"OK Xander, I'm sorry, it's just that I am worried about Buffy," Giles told him, conceding the point. "What could have done this?"

"The only thing that they drank was this new beer my boss got in as a promotion," he replied.

"Have anyone else drank the beer?"

"No, he only got it today," he told him, knowing how luck they had been.

"Good. The first thing we have to do is see your boss and find out where he got that beer."

Xander and Giles arrived at Xander's boss' house about half an hour later.

"Xander, what are you doing here," he asked angrily, "who's looking after the bar?"

"I've shut the place up boss," Xander replied, "we've got bigger problems at the moment."

"What could be more important than making me money?" he asked belligerently.

"We've got a group of college students, one of them a good friend of mine, running round acting like they just came from the Stone Age. We need to know where you got the beer," Xander told him.

"You don't get to tell me what to do, you work for me!"

"I don't have time for your shit; tell me where you got the beer."

"Keep this up and you're fired!"

* * *

'_Knowing that this wasn't getting anywhere, and no longer caring whether I kept my job or not, I punched him in the gut and he fell like a sack of potatoes._

_Between Giles, who let Ripper out to play, and myself, we managed to convince him to talk and he told us that he got the beer from a demon that owed him a favour._

_After we suggested that he dispose of the rest of his stock, explaining what would happen if he didn't, we turned to leave; he shouted to me that I was fired just before I got to the door. I wasn't that surprised, but it still meant that I was out of a regular pay packet.'_

* * *

"Well that's just great, he is the one that got the damn beer in the first place, and **I'm** the one who gets fired!" Xander groused angrily as they got in Giles' car.

"I'm sorry that you have lost your job, but can we focus on finding Buffy and the others?"

"Sure Giles," he sighed. "So how will we get them to turn back?"

"I have heard of this type of thing before. Once the beer has got out of their systems they should be fine, but that might take a while."

"OK, we better look for Buffy first; with her Slayer strength she could be a real danger."

"You're right. Where would she go?" Giles asked, knowing that Xander would be more aware of the places she would frequent.

"The first thing we should do is check her dorm room; she may well want to go somewhere that feels safe."

"Good idea."

* * *

'_Luckily my hunch paid off, and we find her at her dorm room alone._

_I was glad that Willow wasn't around, she was staying the night at Oz's place, otherwise she would have freaked over what Buffy was doing._

_Buffy was drawing cave paintings on the walls with lipstick and had thrown her clothes all over the place. The room looked like a bomb had gone off, and I knew that she would not be in a good mood when she saw what she'd done to her stuff._

_Knowing that startling her would not be a very good idea, I slowly made my way towards her.'_

* * *

"Buffy, are you OK?" Xander asked tentatively, unsure as to whether she would even recognise him.

"Buffy want beer, beer good, give Buffy beer."

"No Buffy, beer bad, beer very bad."

Giles looked at Xander like he had grown a second head. "Xander, why are you talking like that?"

"Simple Giles, if I talk like her, she'll be more inclined to trust me," Xander explained. Realising that they still had to find the others he turned to the former Watcher. "I'll keep her busy here, while you go find the others."

"Are you sure it is wise for me to leave you two alone, she might turn violent."

"Giles, no matter what is happening to Buffy, I know that she would never hurt me," Xander told him with a conviction he didn't really feel.

"OK then," Giles replied, his tone indicating that he didn't have as much faith in his charge, "just be careful."

"As always."

* * *

'_With that Giles left to find the others, and to work out where to keep them until the beer wore off. That just left me with the wonderful task of keeping Cave Buffy occupied until the beer wears off._

_I continued to move slowly towards her when her head snapped round to face me and she started asking for more beer._

_When I got closer to her, she looked at me strangely.'_

* * *

"Buffy want beer, beer good."

"No Buffy," Xander told her, "beer bad."

Buffy continued to move closer to Xander. "Boy smell good."

"Huh?"

"Boy smell good," Buffy repeated, "Buffy want boy."

"Buffy want boy?" Xander repeated in surprise.

"Buffy want boy, boy smell good. Boy want Buffy?"

* * *

'_If she had said that to me at any other time, I would have been jumping around for joy, but not now, and not like that._

_The trouble was that Buffy only ever showed an interest romantically when she was under the influence of the paranormal, otherwise I'm barely a blip on the male radar. First it was that damn love spell two years back, and now it's tainted beer._

_Will she ever be interested in me because she wants to?_

_She was right in front of me now, looking at me with such innocence that I didn't even realise that she was holding me for a few seconds._

_It took me a few minutes before I was able to get Buffy to let me go, her Slayer strength hadn't regressed at all, and once she did I went to the other side of the room._

_Once again she slowly began to walk towards me whilst repeating over and over that she wanted me, like some sort of mantra. Just like the last time I found myself in this position, it took every ounce of will power I had to resist her.'_

* * *

"Buffy, you don't want to do this," Xander told her earnestly, "you're not thinking clearly."

"Boy not want Buffy?" she asked, tears coming to her eyes. Soon she was crying and Xander couldn't help but pull her into a hug.

"Yes, boy want Buffy. Boy want Buffy very much," he confessed, hoping that she wouldn't remember in the morning, "but I know that Buffy doesn't want boy. You aren't thinking clearly Buffy, you don't want to do this and I won't take advantage of you."

* * *

'_I held her in my arms and slowly rocked back and forth until she stopped crying. I try to move away from her, but she would just hold me tighter._

_Knowing that she wouldn't allow me to leave, I picked her up and carried her to the bed and lied down beside her, hoping that I would be able to leave once she fell asleep._

_Once she had gotten to sleep, I tried to move away once again, but just like last time she held onto me tighter. I tried to leave a couple more times during the night, but each time she wouldn't let go, so I eventually resigned to my fate I went to sleep._

_When I woke up, from what I have to admit was the most peaceful nights sleep in my life, I realised that she was still holding me. When I looked at her sleeping form, I noticed that she was back to her old self and she looked so beautiful._

_All the feelings I had pushed down last night came rushing right back to the surface and showed as clear as day in my eyes._

_I didn't have long to think about it, as at that moment Riley and Willow came in.'_

* * *

"What the **hell** is going on!" Riley's yelled, his loud but not altogether invalid question waking the vision lying in Xander's arms.

Xander knew that it looked bad, and the look on Riley's face only proved it. Not knowing exactly what to say, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"Riley, it isn't what you think."

Xander barely had time to move before Riley grabbed him and threw him up against the nearest wall. Willow was still in the doorway; Xander didn't think she had moved an inch since she opened the door.

"I am going to fucking kill you Harris!" Riley screamed in his face. Xander knew he could get out of the hold Riley had him in, but not without hurting him and he hadn't actually done anything wrong.

"Let's not be hasty Riley, I can explain."

* * *

'This was where my mind suddenly realised that I was in trouble.

_I knew that we couldn't tell Riley that Buffy had drunk something that turned her into a Neanderthal, and I couldn't think of anything else that would justify what he walked into without things turning violent._

_Luckily, by this point Buffy had come to her senses.'_

* * *

"Riley, put him down," Buffy ordered.

Riley reluctantly did so and Xander slumped to the ground.

"Xander is right, it isn't how it looks. I had a few drinks and I think someone must have slipped something into one of them. As I was walking back, Xander saw the state I was in and walked me home. I was jumping all over the place and it took everything Xander had to stop me from hurting my self. I had no control of my body so he had to hold me down. All Xander was doing was being the friend that he always has."

* * *

'_Despite it being a little flimsy, Riley seemed to buy it and, not wanting to rock the boat, I suggested that Willow and I leave them to it. Buffy quickly agreed and I dragged Willow out the door with me before she could argue._

_As we were walking to the coffee shop, I filled Willow in on what really happened last night as I could tell she didn't buy Buffy's version of events._

_Once I had told her everything, she said to me that she understood how hard it must have been to resist temptation.'_

* * *

"Xander I saw the way you were looking at Buffy when we came in, and I am sure that Riley saw it too," Willow told him.

"I couldn't help it Wills," Xander replied with a sigh, "I woke up with the woman I'm in love with and she looked so beautiful in my arms. I forgot about the outside world for a few seconds, and I allowed myself to believe that it was real. Then you and Riley come in and I'm back in the real world. I can see that Buffy and Riley like each other, and I am not going to do anything to damage that. As long as Buffy is happy I can manage. I think."

"You know I will always be here for you don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah Wills, I know. I love you."

"I love you too."


	6. Chapter Five

_**Chapter Five**_

'_It has been about a week since the Cave Buffy incident, and it seemed that whenever Buffy and I were in the same room, or even in the same building, Riley would be in the way._

_We haven't had a single conversation that consisted of more than hello and goodbye and whenever we tried, Riley 'remembered' they had to be somewhere I wasn't, and then practically dragged Buffy with him. I knew that she wanted to talk, but she felt that she had to side with Riley, just like Willow had to side with Oz last year._

_The only difference is that this time I haven't done anything wrong other than to help my friend when she needed it._

_One thing that I had managed to rectify was my employment situation. I decided to check with the local construction companies to see if they had any jobs going and luckily they had._

_It seems that a lot of their workforce either move away or get added to the missing persons list for some strange reason, so they're always on the lookout for more people. I told them I had no intention of doing either and they took me on straight away._

_Its day work, which means I will be able to patrol more often, and as it is physical work it will keep me in shape and even help build muscle._

_Not that I need to improve on the temple of Xander of course._

_A couple of days ago, I was walking to the coffee shop on a break when I saw Willow and Oz and it looked like they were arguing. I decided to keep my distance until I saw Oz storm off and Willow start to cry. I hate to see Willow crying as much as I hate to see Buffy cry. I walked up to her, told her it was me and then brought her into a hug._

_When she had stopped crying, I released her slightly so I could angle her face to look at me. All I managed to hear were the words 'Oz and 'Veruca' before she was overcome with tears once more._

_I took her to the coffee shop and made sure we got a table in the far corner so we had a little privacy, as the last thing Willow needed was to be treated like some sort of spectacle._

_By the time our coffees were brought over, Willow had managed to calm down enough to tell me what was going on._

* * *

"Ever since the new band started playing at the Bronze," Willow began, "Oz has been fixated with the lead singer. Her name is Veruca and whenever she's on stage, it feels like I have to practically force Oz to talk or even look at me, as all he seems to want to do is stare at Veruca. I try to talk to him about it but he just changes the subject. Today I was trying to get him to talk to me about it and he shouted at me. Oz **never** shouts; I didn't even know he was capable of shouting. What have I done wrong?" she asked, her voice sounding far meeker than he'd heard in a long time.

"I may not have all the answers for you Wills," Xander told her, "but I do know that you have done nothing wrong. It seems that Oz is going through something and until he has it clear in his own head, he won't be able to talk about it." Xander honestly didn't know what to say. He remembered that it was the night before full moon, one of the three nights that Oz needed to be locked away so his werewolf form doesn't hurt anybody. "Listen Wills, one of the reasons he may have been more agitated today is that tonight is the night before full moon."

"Oh my god," she exclaimed, "I can't believe I forgot that!"

"Don't worry about it; you have a lot to think about. What I suggest is that you wait until after the lunar cycle is finished, that way when you try to talk to him about it he will have more control on his emotions." Xander pulled her into another hug that she readily accepted. "Just remember that I will always be here for you, as are Buffy and Giles," he assured her. "Whenever you need to talk, just come to one of us."

When Xander mentioned Buffy's name, Willow's expression changed. "Speaking of Buffy, how are you coping? I know it has to be hard for you."

"Don't worry about me Wills," he told her, trying to sound unaffected by everything, "I'm fine, honestly. It isn't as though I'm new to this sort of thing." As soon as Xander said that, he knew he shouldn't have as Willow started to tear up. "I'm sorry Wills, I wasn't getting at you. You had your reasons for what happened, it was something you had to do."

"It doesn't make me feel any less horrible when I think of how I treated you," she told him.

"As I said, you did what you had to," he soothed, while rejoicing inside that she had finally apologised for the way she'd behaved. "The only thing getting to me is that this time I haven't done anything wrong. I may have wanted to more than anything, but I didn't."

"I know you haven't done anything wrong; you were just helping out your friend like you always do. The problem is that Riley knows that you wanted to, and is threatened by that."

"Believe me, I get that. What I don't get is why Buffy is going along with it. He barely lets her say two words to me and she does nothing about it."

"Xander, I think she's doing it because she remembers how she was that night and feels guilty about how she reacted towards you."

"She has nothing to feel guilty about," he denied immediately. "That wasn't her that night, it was the beer that caused her to act and feel that way."

"That's the problem. In a way she does feel that way about you; the beer brought out a more primitive Buffy, not a different one," she explained.

"I really didn't need to hear that Willow," Xander groaned.

"What?"

"I was finding it easier to deal with my feelings for her when I was sure she didn't feel the same way. Now you're saying that in a way she does, and now you've given me hope. The only reason I managed to bottle this up before, was because I knew there was no chance of anything happening between us. Now you've told me that this time there **is** hope, no matter how small. This is going to drive me insane Wills," he confessed, trying to reign in his emotions, "I don't know if I will be able to stand it."

"Oh, Xander," Willow said in sympathy, knowing what he was going through because she had gone through the same with him, whenever there seemed to be hope for them back in High School.

* * *

_'I glanced at my watch and realised my break had finished five minutes ago. I quickly finished my coffee, gave Willow a hug and ran back to work._

_I met Willow at the Bronze that night; sand he said that Oz was secure in the cage we set up for him in a nearby mausoleum. She usually stayed to keep him company but she couldn't face it this time, as they still hadn't reconciled from their argument. I decided then that it was my mission to make her forget her worries. This task included lots of joking and dancing._

_I was being successful, until we saw Riley and Buffy. Once he saw us, he made a beeline for the table furthest away from us; once again I could tell Buffy wasn't happy with the situation, but she made no move to stop him, or to speak with them. Willow reached over and held my hand; she could tell that I was hurting over this, and she felt bad that there was nothing she could do._

_There was, however, something __**I**__ could do. I decided to go over and talk to them both and try to resolve this before it goes too far. I got half way when I heard a crash and a scream coming from the balcony section. I looked up and saw a werewolf attacking the people up there._

_I first thought was that it could be Oz, but Willow caught my eye and shook her head to tell me it wasn't. The next thing I saw was Buffy racing up the stairs to tackle the werewolf._

_Willow and I started to get the rest of the people out of the building; I looked round but couldn't see Riley anywhere. The coward probably ran at the first sign of danger._

_I rang Giles and explained what was happening, and then asked him to bring the tranquilliser gun so we could stop but not kill it. I then ran up to help Buffy out, taking a couple of pool cues with me to help fend off the furry menace.'_

* * *

"Buffy, catch!" Xander shouted as he threw one of the cues her way.

"Thanks!" Buffy shouted in reply as she caught the cue and twirled it easily, causing the werewolf to back off. "Is it Oz?" she asked, not knowing herself.

"Willow says that it isn't," he replied, "and I've got to say that Oz is normally more auburn in colour."

"I don't want to kill it," she told him, knowing that most of the time it was a human, who didn't have a choice in changing into the beast before them.

"Neither do I, Buff," he said in agreement, "so I rang Giles and asked him to bring the tranquilliser gun."

"I hope he gets here soon!" she called out as she narrowly dodged a swipe from one of the werewolf's claws.

* * *

_'During our little conversation we had been trying to keep the werewolf at bay with the cues, but weren't being very successful. Luckily the people that were up here were smart enough to make a run for it and got out of the way._

_We eventually managed to back the werewolf up, but before we could stop it from doing so, it jumped through a nearby window. I looked out and saw it running from a group of those military guys before I lost it, and them, in the shadows. Buffy and I then made our way out of the Bronze to wait for Giles._

_When we got outside, Giles was pulling up and Willow was waiting for him.'_

* * *

"Is everyone OK?" Giles asked them all immediately.

"Yeah Giles," Buffy replied, "Willow and Xander got everyone out, then Xander came and helped me keep the werewolf busy. The only problem is it got away."

"And G-Man, those military guys went after it," Xander told him.

"Huh?" Buffy said in confusion, Willow nodding her head in agreement.

"On my patrols, I've seen groups of guys in army gear capture vamps and other demons, and take them somewhere," Xander told them as he remembered neither he nor Giles had let them know. "The trouble is I've never managed to find out where they go."

"How come I've never seen them?" Buffy asked.

"I guess that it takes military to follow military," he replied.

"Uh, guys, I know that this is interesting and all but don't we have a werewolf to catch?" Willow said, getting them all back on track.

"Sorry Wills," Xander said in apology, Giles and Buffy showing similar sentiments. "By the way, before we go after it we should check on Oz to see if he's OK."

"Why Xander? I told you it wasn't him!" Willow exclaimed.

"Hey, Wills, I know," Xander told her, not thinking it was Oz either, "but I still think it would be an idea to check on him, if only to be certain that it isn't him."

Willow just nodded in reply; she knew they had to check, but it didn't mean she had to like it. It wasn't far so the quartet decided to walk, but they barely started to move when another werewolf came charging at them.

"Giles, get it!" Buffy shouted, and Giles managed to get with the tranquilliser gun before it got too close to them.

"Is that the same one?" Giles enquired.

"No, it's Oz," Xander informed them. He could see that Willow was starting to question whether he was at the Bronze after all, so he was quick to assure her. "Wills, don't worry; the werewolf at the bronze had different coloured fur, which means it wasn't OZ. I do wonder how he got out."

"There's only one way to find out, isn't there?" Giles said, and the others took the hint and helped carry him back to the mausoleum. When they got there, they saw that the cage was busted.

"How did Oz manage to break out?" Willow wondered, knowing that Oz hadn't enough room in the cage to get the momentum necessary to bust it open.

"He didn't," Xander told her.

"What are you talking about Xand?" Buffy asked, wondering how he came to that conclusion.

"Buff, the cage has been busted in, which means that someone or something broke Oz out," he explained.

"What are we going to do with Oz now?" Willow asked, looking nervous.

"We know what will happen if he gets loose once more, so we'll just have to keep him sedated until morning," Giles informed them.

"I'll stay here and keep an eye on him," Willow suggested.

"It wouldn't be wise to stay here by yourself, Willow, in case something were to happen," Giles advised, and then went on when he saw her forlorn face, "so I shall stay here with you."

"Well, I doubt we'll find that other wolf tonight," Xander said, "especially with those G.I. Joe's after it, so we might as well call it a night." He turned to Buffy, thinking that it was a perfect opportunity to speak to her. "Walk you to your dorm?"

Buffy nodded and the pair paid their goodbyes to Giles and Willow then left for the dorms. They were already half way there and not a single word had been said between them and finally Xander couldn't take it any longer.

"Can I ask you a question Buff?"

"Sure," she replied.

"Has anyone cast a spell on you that made it almost impossible for you to talk to me?"

"No."

"Well that was the only thing I can think of for the silent treatment I've got from you recently. I want to know how much longer I'm going to be shut out of your life before Riley allows you to be within six feet of me again," he told her, his tone indicating that he'd had about enough. "I've gone through this with Willow, but at least then there were valid reasons."

"I feel guilty about what happened that night," she told him, as though that were explanation enough.

"Nothing happened, Buff," Xander replied firmly.

"I know," she agreed, "but that doesn't make me feel any better. Riley's a nice guy and I want to make a go of it with him. At the moment he can't be around you without wanting to rip you apart."

"Maybe you should let him try," Xander muttered softly, although Buffy still heard him.

"WHAT!"

"If the only way he can get over this is to have a pop at me, let him," Xander said with a sigh, needing to get this situation resolved one way or the other. "You know that I am more than capable of handling myself. I'll even let him think he's won and then he won't feel threatened by me anymore."

"I'm not going to allow my boyfriend to try and beat up my joint best friend," she told him firmly. "I don't see why he's threatened by you anyway."

Xander tried but failed not to show how her comment had hurt, but when Buffy went to say something he cut her off. "Don't worry, I know what you meant. I don't see you that way anymore," he told her, lying through his teeth, "but it doesn't mean I enjoy hearing something like that."

"Sorry," she said sincerely.

"No problem," he replied, waving it away.

* * *

'_We spent the rest of the journey in silence, but this one wasn't as uncomfortable, at least not for her._

_I was beating myself up about how I had just given in to her again, instead of standing my ground. I felt like I was becoming nothing more than her lap dog, wagging my tail happily at every crumb of attention she threw my way, and I was sick of myself for allowing it to happen._

_She was wrong to treat me the way she has, both that night before the beer took affect, and now when she'd only speak to me when Riley wasn't around, but I'm as much at fault for standing there and taking it for as long as I have. She has no reason to change if she doesn't see anything is wrong, and she won't realise it until I finally tell her._

_By the time we reached her dorm, all I wanted to do was get away from her as fast as I could, but when I said my goodbye and turned to leave, Buffy put a hand on my shoulder and turned me round so I was facing her again and then pulled me into a hug.'_

* * *

"I'm going to talk to Riley and tell him that I'm not going to stand for his attitude towards you anymore," Buffy told him, her expression determined. "I miss having you around."

"I miss you too Buff," Xander replied, "just make sure that you're tactful when you talk to him. I don't want you ruining your relationship over me," he added, although by that point he wasn't sure that he cared.

"I better get in," she told him as she released her hold on him and stepped away.

"OK Buff, goodnight."

* * *

'_The next day I was walking to Giles' place so we could plan how to catch the other werewolf. The site where I was working had to be closed for a couple of days due to a gas main that had been ruptured during drilling, which was fine by me as I got paid no matter what, which was another perk the company gave to its employees to try and keep them around._

_I decided to get to Giles' earlier than necessary so I could get in a training session with before we did anything else, because work had prevented me from training as often as I had done before and I didn't want to get sloppy._

_When I got there, I talked with Giles for a while over a cup of tea, something else I hadn't been able to do as regularly as I wanted. I wanted to ensure that Giles knew I wasn't going to forget about him like he thought the others had when I came back._

_After we had finished our tea, we went to the basement and began training. We were still down there when Willow and Buffy arrived sometime later. They just sat and watched while Giles and I completed our hand-to hand training and then were about to move on to sword fighting, when Giles put his hands up.'_

* * *

"OK that's enough for me," Giles said, panting slightly. "Buffy, why don't you get warmed up and train with Xander for a while. You do remember what training is don't you?"

Buffy stuck her tongue out and smiled, then proceeded to get herself ready to beat the crap out of Xander.

"Very mature of you Buffy," Giles said drolly. "Willow, why don't we leave these two children alone and go upstairs for a cup of tea?"

"Sure Giles."

* * *

'_Willow then followed Giles up the stairs, while Buffy warmed up for our sparring practise._

_We began like we had the last time we sparred, although she didn't underestimate like she did back then, which meant that I was soon eating floor. I still held my own, getting in a few good moves that seemed she seemed surprised about, but she had gotten back in the game since resuming her training regimen and that left me outmatched, unless I wanted to resort to dirty fighting._

_When I realised that she was having a little too much fun throwing me about like a rag doll, I caught her by surprise with a leg sweep and quickly pinned her to the ground beneath me. I gave her a smile that glowed with smugness, before I realised that I had Buffy pinned to the ground beneath me._

_For a moment, I looked at her the way I had always wanted to, and then when I realised that it wasn't a dream, and that a part of me was starting to show a lot of interest in our position, I quickly got up and stepped back a pace._

_After a moment I held a hand out to Buffy to help her up and surprisingly she took it; normally she would just roll her eyes whenever I did that and would get up by herself.'_

* * *

"OK, I think I've had enough for today," Xander told her, breathing heavily, "how about we go upstairs?"

"Sure," Buffy replied with a shrug, although she was also catching her breath.

When they got upstairs, they joined Giles and Willow around the table.

"Hey I forgot to ask, how's Oz?" Xander asked Willow.

"He seemed to be OK, but when he woke up he just got dressed and left without saying a word to me or Giles," Willow replied

Xander went over and hugged her. "Don't worry Wills, I'm sure that everything will be OK." He didn't know that, but he did know that she needed to hear it.

"Where is Oz staying tonight now that the cage is busted?" he asked.

"I suppose we could use the mansion," Buffy suggested, "Angel still owns it and I'm sure he won't mind."

"That's a good idea Buffy," Giles complimented before turning to Willow. "Willow, could you let Oz know?"

"Sure Giles," Willow replied before going to phone her boyfriend.

"OK, what are we going to do about this other werewolf we have running around, as I personally don't want those military guys getting their hands on whoever it is," Xander asked.

"Well the best places to track it would be either the Bronze or the 'Lovers Lane' area, as they will have the largest concentration of pheromones and that is also where we have found Oz before," Giles explained. "We better split up into two teams to ensure we can catch it. Willow and Xander can check out the Bronze, while Buffy and myself can check out the 'Lovers Lane' area."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Buffy said with a nod.

"What sounds like a plan?" Willow asked as she came back.

"You and I are Bronzing tonight, for purely professional reasons," Xander told her, "while Buffy and Giles go to 'Lovers Lane'."

"What will Riley say Buffy?" Willow asked cheekily.

"Shut up Willow," Buffy told her a little more forcefully than she meant, Riley's trust issues still playing on her mind. "Anyway, was Oz fine with his accommodation for tonight?"

"Yeah, there are no problems on his end." Willow looked at her watch and her eyes widened. "We better get going Buffy," she told her friend slightly panicked, "Professor Walsh loves to show up people who are late for her class."

"Don't I know it," she moaned, "the first time I was late she made me stand in front of everyone while she did a profile on me just by what I was wearing."

"The first time you were late?" Xander asked with a small smile.

"Her class is normally first thing in the morning and you know how I hate mornings," she told him. "Anyway Willow is right, we better get going. We'll see you both later OK?"

"Sure."

* * *

_'I spent the rest of the morning with Giles, who after resting declared himself ready to give me a sound thrashing with his sword, which now I've written it sounds a lot more dirty than he meant it._

_Anyway, by the time I finished my training, and did some more studying on Demonology as per Giles' request, I left his place about two in the afternoon._

_I went home to get changed and then had a spot of lunch, and after I had satisfied my hunger, I decided to meet up with Willow and Buffy and check that she was OK. I didn't get there though as I spotted Oz talking to Veruca._

_I kept out of sight of the pair, but I could just make out what they were saying.'_

* * *

"You know that we should be together," Veruca told him, "you cannot deny the chemistry we have."

"That isn't me, Veruca, it's the wolf," Oz denied. "I'm in love with Willow."

"What you don't get is that you **are** the wolf Oz."

"Why did you break me out of my cage last night?" he asked, completely ignoring her last comment.

"We weren't meant for captivity Oz," she told him.

"I don't want to be responsible for killing people," Oz told her firmly.

"You have to embrace the beast within; if you don't it will consume you. We're meant to be together Oz, and I'll let nothing stand in our way."

Before Oz had a chance to say anything more, Veruca ran off in the direction of the college. Oz went to chase after her, but Xander then decided to make his presence known.

"Oz," he greeted the other man stonily.

"Xander, listen…"

"It'll be sunset soon," he told him, cutting him off, "you better get to the mansion."

"What about Veruca?" he asked.

"I'll deal with her."

"But…"

"Right now it would be wise to do what I suggest Oz," Xander said interrupting him again, "I'm not in the right frame of mind right now to argue civilly."

* * *

'_Oz could tell that I wasn't kidding, so instead of arguing the point he nodded in resignation and started off towards the mansion._

_Thinking over what they said to each other, I realised what Veruca meant when she wouldn't anything get in her way; she was going after Willow._

_I started to run as fast as my legs would allow towards the college, hoping to get to Veruca before she got to Willow. Knowing that time was against me, I rang Giles and explained the situation to him, asking him to bring the tranq gun and meet me at the dorms._

_Once he agreed, I put the cell away and continue running towards the college. I knew that I was catching her up; it was a good thing that during the day she was just as fast as a normal human, or I wouldn't have had a hope in hell. I managed to get there just as the sun went down and saw Willow and Veruca together._

_It was clear that Willow didn't know what Veruca was, but that changed quickly as Veruca started to transform into her werewolf state.'_

* * *

"Willow get away from her!" Xander screamed.

Willow was paralysed with fear, so Xander grabbed her and ran towards the dorms, thinking that if they could get to her dorm room, he could use the weapons Buffy had to hold Veruca off until Giles arrived.

They had just reached the entrance to the dorms when Veruca caught up with them.

"Willow, keep going, I'll slow her down," Xander ordered.

"I'm not leaving you!" she shouted.

"Willow GO!" he roared, pushing her towards the dorms.

* * *

'_She knew not to argue with me after that, so she continued running to her room. I had grabbed a fallen branch on the way there, and used it to hit Veruca as hard as I could in the head. She was stunned for a few moments, but it wasn't long before she was charging at me again._

_I knew that I had no chance of surviving, as Giles wouldn't get there in time and Buffy was nowhere to be seen, but there was no way I was letting her get to Willow. I held her off as much as I could, but a lucky swipe knocked the branch out of my hands and then knocked me into the wall and started clawing at me._

_I knew that this was it, but suddenly Oz in his werewolf form came from nowhere and charged into Veruca, throwing her in the air. They charged at each other and started biting and clawing at each other._

_Oz, being the stronger of the two, soon had the upper hand and it wasn't long before Veruca was dead. Oz then turned round to look at me and as he was about to lunge at me, Giles appeared and shot him with the tranquilliser gun.'_

* * *

"Xander are you alright?" Giles asked in concern as he rushed over to him.

"Nothing a bottle of Advil couldn't fix," Xander replied with a groan as he pushed himself up from the floor.

"Were you bitten?"

"No," he replied, earning a sigh of relief from Giles. "I was thrown into a wall and clawed, but not bitten."

Buffy then came tearing across the quad towards them. "Is everyone OK?" she asked, focussing her attention on Xander.

"Yes Buff, apart from Veruca of course," he replied, indicating the, now human, corpse. "You better check on Willow while Giles and I deal with Oz."

"What do you mean by that?" Buffy asked, sounding a little suspicious.

"I mean we'll take him to the mansion and shackle him up nice and tight. He may not be on my good side but Willow is," Xander explained, knowing that killing him would not help the situation.

"OK."

Buffy went up to look after Willow, which left Giles and Xander wolf sitting.

"OK Giles, Heads or Tails?" Xander asked with a tired smile.

"Ha ha."

* * *

'_After we got Oz to the mansion and secured him, Giles took me back to his place to get me patched up, and then I made my way home and went to bed, falling asleep before my head even hit the pillow._

_I was woken up the next day by the phone ringing. When I answered it I found out it was Willow.'_

* * *

"Hey Wills what's up?" Xander asked sleepily.

"Oz has gone," Willow told him tearfully.

"What do you mean he's gone?" he asked, his mind still not firing on all cylinders.

"He came over this morning and told me that it was too dangerous for him to stay around me until he had control over the wolf in him," she sobbed. "I tried to get him to stay but he didn't listen."

"I'm so sorry Wills," he told her sincerely, "is there anything I can do?"

"Could you come over," she asked, "I don't feel like being on my own."

"Of course I will, I'll be right there."

"Thanks, bye."

* * *

'_When I got there about thirty minutes later, Willow was crying on Buffy's shoulder and Riley was sitting across the room looking very uncomfortable. I guess he hasn't had to deal with too many emotional women before._

_That looked quickly changed to anger however when he saw me, but I just ignored him totally and went over and hugged Willow, sending as much love and support as I could._

_That meant that of course that I was indirectly hugging Buffy, which immediately sent Riley into his normal routine of making an excuse for him and Buffy to leave._

_This time, however, it didn't work out the way he wanted.'_

* * *

"Riley I'm not going anywhere; Willow needs me here so here I'll stay," Buffy told him in a tone that would brook no refusal.

Realising that the normal tactic won't work, he tried something else. "As we're staying with Willow," he said, "Harris isn't needed so he can get lost."

Having him suggest that he should leave was the final straw for Xander and he'd finally had enough, so he let go of Willow and got right in Riley's face.

"Listen to me Finn, I don't care if you have a problem with me but if you try and come between me and my friends, they'll have to surgically remove my foot from your ass!" he vowed, his tone and stance almost daring Riley to try something.

Riley took the challenge and took a swing at Xander, but he easily ducked it and landed one of his own the the gut that winded him and then pinned him to the wall, Riley finding that he was completely unable to break free.

"Willow doesn't need to have any further stress at the moment so I'm going to leave before I do something I'll enjoy," he told the man before pushing away from him and turning to his friend. "I promise I'll ring you later Wills."

Xander took one final look at Willow before walking out the door.


	7. Chapter Six

_**Chapter Six**_

_'__The next couple of weeks were hard for Willow; every time she went out she saw something that reminded her of Oz and started crying, when she wasn't already crying for the sake of crying. I was with her as much as I could to make sure she knew there were people who wouldn't leave._

_The only times I weren't there was when I had to work, or when Buffy and Riley were there. I didn't want to cause Willow any more stress, and having Riley and I in the same room would definitely classify as stressful, so I made an effort to steer clear of him._

_Riley soon realised that and was making sure that he was there as much as possible, knowing I wouldn't go over. By that point I was really starting to wonder what Buffy saw in him._

_There had been a couple of times that I was there with Willow when Buffy and Riley would show up. Willow knew that I would be leaving and would hold onto me even tighter than she had before. After a couple of minutes I would look at my watch and 'remember' I was late for something, tell Willow I would call her later and leave without even looking at Riley or Buffy._

_When Willow would call, which was probably about a minute after Riley left, I would apologise to her and she said she understood. She would then put Buffy on and we would chat, but it was nothing more than saying hello and asking how each other were._

_I couldn't pretend to be happy to talk to her; she said that she would talk to Riley but she hadn't and I didn't think she ever would. Once again she had chosen someone else over me and was slowly cutting me out of her life. I knew that Willow wanted us to reconcile, but that was up to Buffy, not me._

_A couple of days ago I was with Willow when suddenly neither one of us could talk. It was a strange feeling; one minute we were talking normally then all of a sudden we couldn't talk. You never realise how much you communicate verbally until you can't, and once I did I started to freak._

_Luckily, I was with one of the smartest people around, and she gave me a pad and pencil, giving herself the same. We both wrote the same two things; 'are you alright?' and 'spell?' and we both went to laugh, but realised we couldn't do that either, so we just smiled. After a few more written messages we decided to check and see if it was just us that were affected._

_We soon found out that we weren't alone, and that everyone in the dorms were also affected. We looked at each other and could tell we were thinking the same thing; to find Buffy and Giles._

_We found Buffy coming out of her class, clearly trying to work out what the hell was going on. We just looked at her and nodded letting her know we were aware of the situation. It also allowed her to know it wasn't just her class. Willow wrote a message saying we were heading to Giles so she came with us._

_When we got to Giles' place he was already looking through books trying to work out what had happened. As soon as we came in he could see that we were also affected so he simply motioned us to help in the research._

_During all this time something about what was happening felt familiar to me, as if I had heard about something like this before. Then I remembered that I had read something about a group of demons called The Gentlemen that I researched during one of my training sessions a couple of months ago._

_I found the book it was in, and then gave it to Giles with a note saying 'The Gentlemen'. His look of realisation that I was right turned into a look of pride, a look that I wished I would see on my fathers face, but never had and never will._

_The next couple of hours were spent researching all information about The Gentlemen, focusing on their MO; we worked out why they were here and how to stop them._

_The Gentlemen were a group of demons that trapped the voices of everyone in the location they were in, so that it was easier to harvest the seven hearts they required to sustain themselves. They trapped all the voices into a small wooden box that they kept with them at all times. It seemed that it was very difficult to get help from anyone when you couldn't scream or shout to let tem know you were in trouble._

_The other reason that they trap all the voices was that the only way to kill them was by screaming at them, as they were one of the few types of demon that didn't die from decapitation, or any other form of physical violence. The only way to defeat them was for us to find and destroy the box that held everyone's voices and then scream._

_We worked out that they had to be holed up in the Sunnydale clock tower, as they needed to be at a certain height to perform the ritual and the clock tower was the tallest building in town. If I'm honest I couldn't remember Sunnydale ever having a clock tower until that day, and I've lived here all my life._

_Buffy as always wanted to go it alone, but I was in no mood to argue; if she wanted to kill herself it was up to her. I didn't really mean that, but I knew that she would hate it if I turned up, and I can't keep taking the pain of her rejection._

_Of course, being the complete idiot and masochist that I am, I followed her anyway. I kept my distance to make sure she didn't spot me, those soldier memories coming through for me once again._

_She finally reached the clock tower and went inside; I was about to follow her as backup, when a group of those military guys show up. This time however they weren't wearing balaclavas and the group leader was none other than Riley Finn._

_They headed inside and I didn't hear anything for a few minutes, not that I was expecting to given the circumstances. Suddenly, I heard a scream and then about ten seconds later I saw three of the military guys flying through the door and Buffy dragging the fourth one, Riley, out behind her._

_I may not have been that close, and it may have been dark, but I could tell that Buffy Anne Summers was a very pissed off Slayer._

_I decided that if she found me there she would have moved every part of me from every other part of me, so I high-tailed it back to Giles' place._

_Luckily, because Buffy was dragging Riley along with her, I was able to get back with enough time to ensure I didn't sound like I had been running._

_When she did come in my earlier assumption was proven correct; Buffy was pissed.'_

* * *

"That lying rat bastard!" Buffy ranted as she stalked inside, dragging the limp body of Riley behind her. 

"I'm guessing that, as we can talk again, you got the bad guys?" Xander asked, pointing out the obvious.

"Deceitful son of a bitch!" she screamed.

"What have I done?" he asked, suddenly worried that she had spotted him after all.

"Not you, him!" she snapped, throwing Riley across the living room floor.

"Buffy, what happened and why is Riley unconscious on the floor?" Giles asked, wanting to get to the crux of the matter.

"I go into the clock tower and find those demon mime artists," Buffy explained, "and after fighting with them a bit I managed to get through them smashed the box with our voices in it, allowing me to scream and kill them all. You could have warned me about what would happen by the way; their head's literally exploded from the noise, which wasn't a pretty sight I can tell you," she added with a slight shudder. "Suddenly Riley and three other goons barged in and tried to shoot me with those Tazer thingy's you told me about. I dodged the first blast and put Riley in the way of the second. For military types they didn't know how to fight that well, so I knocked them about a bit, leaving the other three sparko on the ground and dragged the dickless wonder there," she said, pointing to Riley, "back with me so we could get some answers."

Giles and Xander dragged Riley into a chair and tied him up before bringing him around. It took a few more minutes before he was able to talk enough to interrogate.

"Good evening Riley," Giles said cordially, "how are you feeling?"

"Mr. Giles," Riley greeted with a nod, "why do you have me tied to a chair in your living room? You do realise this is kidnapping don't you?" he added, thinking that he might be able to scare them into letting him go.

"I have a feeling that you won't be pressing any charges Riley," Xander told him coldly, "seeing as you would have to explain how you were abducted. So, why were you at the clock tower tonight Lieutenant Finn?"

"It's Captain… shit," Riley swore, realising his mistake.

"How the hell did you get through boot camp?" Xander asked snidely.

"Shut up Harris!" he snapped, trying to break free of his bonds.

"I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon," Xander informed him. "This is what's going to happen; we are going to ask questions and you are going to answer them, because if you don't you may well find yourself unable to procreate, ever."

* * *

_'We spent the next hour 'talking' to Riley, making sure that Buffy didn't get too involved. She was still very pissed about everything and could accidentally knock his head off, literally, if she lost control._

_Willow wasn't very good at the whole interrogation thing, as although she had come out of her shell a great deal the last few years, she didn't have it in her to be intimidating, so that left the questioning to Giles and myself._

_Between Giles bringing out Ripper, and my soldier memories of interrogation techniques and countermeasures, we soon had Riley spilling his gut, not literally unfortunately._

_We found out that he belonged to a secret government agency called The Initiative and that Maggie Walsh, Buffy and Willow's Psychology professor, was in charge. They captured demons and performed experiments on them to see how they tick, and to see if they could be used in combat situations._

_The majority of Riley's fraternity were members of The Initiative, and their headquarters were situated in an underground facility beneath it. We also found out that Walsh knew all about Slayers, and had asked Riley to 'befriend' Buffy and relay any information he found out to her._

_Once we were sure that he told us everything that he knew, we went to release him, but Buffy wanted to tell him a couple of things.'_

* * *

"Before we let you go, I need to make sure you're aware of a few things. Firstly, I can safely say that we're over; if I never see you again it'll be too soon. Secondly, if you or any of your Initiative buddies try to come after my friends, or me, you'll find out first-hand just what a Slayer can do. Now get out of my sight!" she yelled, snapping his bonds with one easy motion and threw him through the door, which luckily Giles had opened. 

Buffy went and closed the door, and then collapsed in a blubbering heap. Xander immediately rushed over to her and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as she cried anguished sobs into his chest. It took several minutes of crying and near constant reassurance from Xander before she was able to speak again.

"This proves that there's something wrong with me," she sniffled.

"What are you on about Buff?" Xander asked softly.

"Men keep using me; Ford, Parker and Riley all used me. Why do all the men in my life use me?"

"Angel never did," Xander replied instantly.

* * *

'_They all looked shocked at my comment and, to be honest so, was I._

_It is a well-known fact that Deadboy and I were never friends; in fact I hated his guts most of the time. His sire killed my brother in all but blood; his childe killed Kendra; his grand childe tried to kill all of us several times, and was the catalyst to Cordy and Oz finding out about Willow and me; his soulless persona killed Jenny, Theresa, and almost ended the world._

_I have never hated a group of people like I have those four, and I hate him the most because of the emotional car wreck he put Buffy through, both before and after his time in Hell._

_There are only two things that he and I could ever agree on; if he ever loses his soul again he gets dusted, soul curse or not, and that we both love Buffy more than is considered wise._

_It's ironic that out of all the people Buffy had gone out with since I've known her, the only one not to have just used her is the one I thought should have never been with her in the first place.'_

* * *

"Giles, Willow and myself will always be there for you, and we would never use you like that, unless you wanted us to of course," Xander added with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

That last comment got Xander giggle and a slap on the shoulder from Buffy, which in his mind was a victory given the way she had just been acting. She had calmed down quite a bit, but Xander could still see that Buffy was a little shook up.

"It's been a rather tough night, why don't I take you and Willow home," he suggested. "Now when I mean home, I'm talking about your dorm room, not my home."

"I'm actually staying over at my parent's tonight," Willow told them, "they've realised that they have a daughter they haven't seen for a few months, so they want me over for dinner."

"That's fine," he assured her, "we'll escort you to your parents place then I'll take Buffy back to the dorms. Before you start," he went on, looking pointedly at his friends, "I am more than aware that you're capable of walking by yourself, I just think that now The Initiative are aware of who we are, it'll be wise to stick together for a while."

"I have to agree with Xander that it would be prudent to refrain from venturing out unaccompanied," Giles said to further Xander's argument.

"Huh?" Buffy asked, bewildered.

"Oh dear god, Xander's right we should stick together. I try to use English the way it was meant to be used and all I receive is 'huh?'" Giles ranted.

"Come on Giles I'm only playing with you," Buffy told him with a little smile, only half truthful. She had gotten the gist of what he'd said, but she always wondered why he had to use such long winded words. "You know you'd start to worry if I understood everything you said, it would be a sign of the apocalypse."

"Very true," he sighed, a smile touching his lips. "I'm sure that things will start to look better after a good night's sleep."

* * *

_'The walk to Willow's place was quiet; none of us were in a very talkative mood, and what we did have to say needed more time than we had._

_When we were about halfway to Willow's, I had a sudden impulse to put my arms around their shoulders. I gave in to that impulse and I was a little shocked when they both leaned into me and started to cry._

_Now when one of them cries I can't stand it, but when they both cry at the same time I get an almost irresistible urge to kill the causes. I stop and bring them into a group hug.'_

* * *

"Hey everything's going to be fine," he soothed to the pair of them, "it may not seem like it now but things will get better. As long as we're there for each other we can face anything." 

They nodded, and then they finished their journey to Willow's place. By the time they reached her front door, both Willow and Buffy had calmed down a great deal.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Rosenburg, how are you?" Xander asked as they opened the door.

"Very well thank you Alexander," Mr. Rosenburg replied formally, Xander able to hold back the wince as he was used to their almost pathological need to use a person's full first name.

"Thanks for walking me home guys," Willow told the pair, "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Xander replied for the both of them, Buffy nodding in agreement.

They waited until the Rosenburgs closed the door before turning around and made their way towards the college campus. They had barely walked a block when Buffy stopped and turned Xander to face her.

"Xander I want to apologise for cutting you out of my life, I should never have let Riley sway me like that," she told him in a rush, as though she had been bottling that up and had only just been able to release it.

Although those were the words Xander had wanted to hear most in the world, he was still bitter about everything and not ready to let things go.

"I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to give me an honest answer," he told her, and waited to receive a nod of acquiescence before continuing. "If you hadn't found out about Riley, would you have continued to cut me out of your life?" All Xander received in reply was silence and a look of shame on Buffy's face. "I guess I've been given my answer haven't I?"

* * *

_'She tried to say something more to me, but I just turned around and walked away. There was no way that I would be letting her off that easily._

_I know that it sounds bad, but if she wants me back in her life, she'll have to damn well work for it; I've let her off too easily too many times._

_If she truly wants my forgiveness, and if she really does want me as a friend, she needs to fucking act like she means it and prove that she knows what being a friend actually means.'_


	8. Chapter Seven

_**Chapter Seven**_

_'The last few days, Buffy has been trying to get our relationship back on track. I tried to resist for a day or so, but she started to use that damned adorable pout of hers, and I caved in big time._

_We had now gotten back to where we had been before Riley showed up, but still nowhere near what it was like at its best. I knew that it would only be a matter of time before we got back to where we were, especially if Buffy kept acting the way she was, like she truly wanted me back in her life._

_Of course it was at that point that events conspired to screw with my life; Faith woke up from her coma._

_I had gone to visit Faith a couple of times since I came back; I knew that no one else was going to, and I didn't like the thought of her being all alone. I doubt that she knew I was there, but I had gone anyway as it just felt like the right thing to do._

_We didn't find out that she was awake until Buffy and I saw her on the college campus. Although I had gone to visit a couple of times, I had been unable to get the staff to put me on the list of people who would be notified. I did get to see who __**was**__ on the list, however, and knew that things would get worse before they got better._

_For just coming out of a coma she looked remarkably well, which meant her Slayer healing must have been on overdrive since she woke up, and if I hadn't known it I wouldn't have been able to tell she'd spent the last few months hooked up to enough computing power to send a rocket to the moon._

_Due to the crowd of people, neither Buffy nor Faith wanted to get into anything, but I could tell that they wanted to see each others head mounted on their wall. Given that the last time they met Buffy stuck a knife in Faith's gut, I knew that it was a very good thing there were so many witnesses.'_

* * *

"Hey B how you doing?" Faith asked in a way only Faith could.

"What do you want Faith?" Buffy asked angrily, getting right down to it.

"I just wanted to see how the old gang was; I'm guessing that the Mayor isn't around anymore?"

"We trapped him in the High School and blew him up," Buffy told her shortly, "the highlight of a memorable graduation."

"That's five by five with me. Hey BoyToy, feel like going another round with me?"

"No offence Faith," Xander replied, "but you have a tendency to want to kill me, and that doesn't make for a working relationship."

* * *

'_After we had our little heart to heart, Faith managed to lose herself in the crowd and we lost sight of her. I actually felt a little bad about what I'd said to her, not that it wasn't true as she had tried to strangle me, but it did mean that it would be all the more difficult to speak to her and possibly help her rejoin the light side of the Force._

_Sorry about the Star Wars reference, but I was starting to get withdrawal symptoms._

_Anyway, after Buffy and I searched for her a little longer, I got on the phone to Giles and Willow, letting them know that Faith was out and to be careful. I also decided to call Joyce and let her know, as she would probably be as much of a target as the rest of us. That wasn't to say that Joyce had been mean to her, in fact she had actually tried to be nice, but Faith knew that Joyce had seen her as a way for Buffy to have a normal life, and would resent her for that. There was of course the fact that going after Buffy's mom would seriously piss Buffy off._

_Of course, I didn't let Buffy in on that little nugget of information, as she would worry too much and lose focus on stopping Faith, emphasis on __**stopping**__. If at all possible, I wanted this to end without serious bloodshed, but also knew I was in the minority about that._

_Then there's the fact that Buffy had been so gung ho on killing Faith to save Angel, but had been all 'killing humans is wrong' to Faith concerning the accident with Alan Finch. And yes, I do mean it was an accident, which given that Buffy had thrown Finch to Faith in the first place, meant that they were both at fault, something that neither of them agreed on. I don't think that killing humans is a good thing, but I do know that sometimes it's necessary, only when there is no other option._

_Where was I? Oh, yes, the whole Buffy/Faith thing. If this were to end without the need for body bags, I would need to think of a way to get to Faith before Buffy did. I just hoped I had enough time to work out how._

_Giles and Willow met up with Buffy and myself later that day to work out where Faith might go. At one point I suggested that we should search the places that had been owned by Wilkins, given that she would probably feel safe there as although he'd been a sociopath with delusions of grandeur, he had been nice to her._

_Once again I got looks of surprise from Willow and Buffy at making a useful suggestion, and a look of pride from Giles. I know I should be used to it by now, but it still hurt that they couldn't believe that I have working brain cells. Giles didn't look too impressed with their reactions either, but remained silent about it, knowing that it was something I had to deal with myself._

_Once we had worked out the most likely places to look, Buffy immediately went to check them out. We offered to go with her, but she said that it is safer if she went alone, as she was the only one that could deal with her. I didn't like the way she said that, and I could tell that I wasn't alone, but she did have a point._

_Willow left not long after, as she said she had some books at home that might help in locating her. I knew she wasn't being entirely truthful, as she'd been looking at her watch every few minutes for a while, which meant she was late for something. The fact that she didn't tell us meant that it wasn't something she was ready for us to know, so I respected her opinion and said nothing._

_About half an hour after Willow left, a group of men arrived on Giles' door, deciding to break it down instead of knocking, all of them carrying some serious hardware, and I'm not talking computer parts.'_

* * *

"Hello Rupert," the man in the lead said formally, his English accent unmistakable, "we've come for Faith."

"Well, Michael she's not here, so you can piss off!" Giles snapped, his natural brogue showing in his anger.

They didn't believe Giles when he said Faith wasn't there, so they decided to try and take a look for themselves. They didn't get very far as Xander disarmed Michael quickly, the men not seeing him as a threat until it was too late, and put a knife to his throat. Xander then passed the rifle Michael had on him to Giles, who then pointed it at the rest of the group.

"Now listen here you stupid bastards," Xander told them, "I want you to drop your weapons or Michael here gets his throat cut."

"You do that boy and you won't live to see another day," one of them replied, trying to look intimidating.

"I've lived on the Hellmouth my entire life, and have faced some of the most dangerous things on the planet. There's no way a bunch of limey bastards will intimidate me," Xander told him bluntly, "no offence Giles."

"None taken," Giles assured him. "These gits make me ashamed to be British. If you don't want to get any extra holes in your bodies, or Michael's blood on your hands, I suggest you do what Xander says and drop your weapons."

After a couple of seconds they finally decided they would be better off to comply and dropped their weapons. Giles soon had them tied up and gagged.

"OK Giles who are these clowns?"

"They're a Council wetworks team. They get sent to retrieve Slayers that go against the Council's orders; generally to take them back to Britain for trial. The verdict is always the same, guilty, and the punishment is always death."

"Faith did some bad things," Xander admitted, "but I don't really think that she was in the right frame of mind to work out right from wrong, and definitely doesn't deserve to be put to death, especially by Travers."

"What are you talking about?" Giles asked, regarding Faith's frame of mind.

"From the first moment we met her, we all compared Faith to Buffy. Joyce hoped that now there was a second Slayer, Buffy could retire and have a normal life while Faith took on the fate of the world. None of us bothered to ask how she could afford to live at that motel when she didn't have a job. When she staked Finch, she only did so because Buffy threw him to her. That meant that neither of them knew he was human, and we never did work out why the Deputy Mayor turned up in the middle of that fight in the first place. We treated her as nothing more than a tool, and when I tried to get through to her it was too late and she tried to kill me. She was so mixed up it was no surprise that she sided with the Mayor, as he was the only one that treated her like a person."

"Once again I have to agree with you on your assessment. I must admit I had never really thought about how we treated her," Giles said in chagrin.

"Don't worry; it seems to be a habit around here. I'm going to see if I can find her, as I doubt that Buffy has the same opinion as myself. Those two just rub each other up the wrong way. That's probably to do with them both being Slayers; having two alphas in the same area is always going to cause trouble, it's one of the things I remember from my hyena period."

"Just be careful; she's tried to kill you once, she may try again," Giles warned, whilst also thinking that Xander's theory about the two Slayers might be correct.

"Don't worry I'll be fine."

* * *

'_I decided that the only place to look for Faith that we hadn't thought of earlier was the motel where she had stayed when she first arrived. Only Buffy and myself had been there, and I wasn't surprised that Buffy didn't mention it._

_Buffy had always taken Faith's turn to the dark side personally, again apologies for the Star Wars reference, and felt that it is her and her alone that should deal with Faith. I don't know why she thought that, but it could be that she saw how she could have turned out had her life been like Faith's, and saw Faith's descent as an indication that she might go the same way._

_I hate to think how Buffy would deal with her when she found her, seeing as it was Buffy that put Faith in the coma in the first place to try to save Deadboy. I could understand that she did what she felt was right, but I have a problem with trying to kill a human to save a vampire, no matter who the vampire was. The big problem was that I didn't think that Faith would go down without a fight, especially if it was Buffy she was up against, and I was frankly worried about who would be left standing._

_When I got to the motel, I saw Buffy walking out of the room that Faith had stayed in. When she saw me she walked over, and I could see that she had a few bumps and bruises.'_

* * *

"Are you OK Buff?"

"I found Faith here and we fought for a while; she clocked me with a lucky shot and before I passed out I saw some men drugging her and throwing her into a van."

* * *

'_There was something off about the way Buffy was talking to me, as though she were thinking about how to say what she wanted to, and it also seemed like her body language was different to normal. I probably wouldn't have noticed if I weren't such an avid watcher of what Buffy said or did._

_I shook off my feelings of unease and put it down to the fact that she'd just been duking it out with Faith and was probably still a little groggy.'_

* * *

"That must have been another wetworks team from the Council," Xander told her worriedly. "They've come to take her back to Britain for trial and execution, given that they've already decided she's guilty. You sure you're OK?" he asked.

"I'm just feeling a little out of it," Buffy told him, waving away his concern.

"Can I walk you home?"

"Sure," she replied with a shrug.

While they were walking, Xander made an attempt to put his arm around her like he'd done a thousand times before, but this time she reacted by spinning round and almost smacking him in the face.

"Whoa there Buff!" Xander said suddenly, backing away a step and putting his arms up. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she told him after a moment, shaking her head slightly, "I must be more out of it than I thought."

* * *

'_The way she looked at me when I tried to put my arm around her was nothing like the way she had ever looked at me before. It was as if I had just tried to do something I couldn't even imagine doing, let alone write down, the thought was enough to make me want to violently throw up._

_I could tell something was up her, and that she wasn't going to talk about it no matter what I asked, so I did my best to put it behind me and we just kept walking._

_It took me a little while for to realise that instead of walking towards the college campus, we were actually walking towards Joyce's. When I asked her if her mom had wanted her to stay there the night instead of at the dorms, Buffy just gave me this puzzled look like she didn't have the faintest idea what I was on about._

_Thinking that she might be feeling a little fragile, I suggested that I could stay with her if she liked. Again, while she would normally have just shook her head and declined, she would have taken my suggestion as just my way of helping, but instead she looked at me like I was making a pass at her._

_The way she was acting was starting to feel familiar to me, and yet I couldn't for the life of me place where._

_When I again asked her if I had done something wrong, not wanting to ruin the momentum we had towards getting our friendship back to an even keel, she just apologised, stating that she was feeling a little off, and then took of at a full sprint._

_I knew better than to try and run after her, as not only would I have no chance of catching her, if on the off chance I did, I might not enjoy the results._

_I decided to go to Giles and talk to him about it, but when I looked at my watch I saw that it was very late and although he probably wouldn't mind, he was still taking care of those Council yahoos so we wouldn't have been able to talk freely, so instead I went home._

_I was laying on my bed trying to work out why Buffy would be acting so strangely, especially as I could think of no reason for it, and in fact the only person I had ever seen react like that was Faith._

_Of course that notion was silly; why would Buffy act like __**Faith**__ of all people? They'd never been close and, with their colourful history, I doubted that imitation would be seen as the sincerest form of flattery by either one._

_The only reason I could think of why Buffy would be acting so out of character was if Buffy wasn't actually Buffy. As strange as that sounded, it did make a strange kind of sense, especially given the amount of times something similar to that had occurred to one or all of us the last few years._

_It also started to make me very worried; if Buffy was someone else, with the logical assumption that she was actually Faith, it meant that Faith, the one who had been taken by the Council, was actually Buffy. If I was right, and Faith had somehow found a way to switch bodies with Buffy, it meant that the Council had taken Buffy on a journey with a guaranteed death sentence as their destination._

_The problem I now had was trying to prove it. I knew that Giles and Willow would have a problem believing me, even though they should both realise that I would never make something like this up. The other problem was that although they were against giving Faith to the Council, I couldn't see them actively trying to rescue her now that they had 'her'._

_The first thing I had to do was to find out where the goon squad was and rescue 'Faith'. Even if I was wrong, and it really was Faith they had, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I could have saved her life and did nothing about it._

_This was where all those soldier boy memories I had retained came into play. I knew that they would keep away from planes and trains, as an unconscious teenage girl being carried on board by a bunch of Englishman would lead people to ask questions they would have no way of answering, even in Sunnydale. They also wouldn't go anywhere by car, as it would take too long and they wouldn't want to run the risk of having an unhappy Slayer in their midst. As I knew they were going to try to get back to dear old Blighty, the only way left was by ship, and that meant the docks._

_One of the things that I never told anyone was that the time I broke into the army base to get the rocket launcher to destroy the Judge wasn't the only time I'd done so. In a chest by the side of my bed I had a small arsenal of weaponry, all waiting for the right opportunity to be used._

_I hadn't used any, knowing that the others would be more than a little miffed if I took this stuff out on regular patrols, but I always knew that one day having this stuff within easy reach would come in handy, and I now knew that I was right. I quickly got changed into my combat gear, with the addition of a bullet proof vest as I knew they had no qualms about using guns, and then checked to make sure everything was in working order before putting them about my person._

_Once I had everything checked away, and had the beginnings of a plan, I then took my car and made my way to the docks._

_I got to the docks about half an hour later, and quickly found the goon squad and 'Faith' waiting for their transport. I didn't want to kill anyone, but I knew that if it came down to a choice between them or us, I would not hesitate in choosing us. I decided that I couldn't wait until the ship was here, as there would probably be reinforcements, which meant that I had to go now._

_I knew the only way to do this was to hit them hard and fast, so I put on a gas mask and then threw in a couple of canisters of tear gas their way and moved in. During the confusion I managed to untie 'Faith' and gave her my extra gas mask. I then made sure that they didn't follow us by shooting them all in the kneecaps; if they couldn't walk, they couldn't follow. I knew Buffy and the others wouldn't agree with that, but given that the alternative was killing them, they'd have to just suck it up and deal._

_I relieved them of their weapons, putting them into a holdall I brought with me, and then I got Faith to safety. Once she was safe, I decided to go back and have a little… chat with them.'_

* * *

"Hi there boys, I'm the guy that just took out your entire team. I told the other team and now I'm telling you; you come after Faith, Buffy or anyone else, the Council will receive you one piece at a time. This is the Hellmouth; there are a hundred different demons out there who would love to take a bite or two out of some Council flunkies, and I'd have no qualms about feeding you all to them. Sunnydale's out of bounds from now on gentlemen, so pass the word around. Do we have an understanding?"

Wanting to make sure that they understand, Xander stood on their leader's knee, causing him to scream in pain. "I understand," he yelled, causing Xander to move back.

"Good," he replied, "have a nice journey back to England."

* * *

'_I made my way back to the car, finding that 'Faith' was still there, looking a little out of it, so I strapped her in to the passenger seat and started to drive back to my place._

_Once we got back to my place, 'Faith' was still out of it; they would have probably given her a pretty strong sedative to keep her out, but her Slayer metabolism was making it wear off fast. Once she had finally come around, and had realised where she was, she gave me a hug, tears streaming down her face.'_

* * *

"It's OK Buff," Xander said softly, "you're safe now. The Council are leaving and won't be back anytime soon."

"You know it's me and not Faith?" Buffy asked in surprise.

"I had a pretty good idea, but you just proved it. Of course, there's only one Buffy Anne Summers, so it would have been nigh on impossible for me not to have noticed. Do you know what happened?" he asked.

"Yeah, I found Faith at her old motel room and we got into a fight," Buffy told him, Xander already figuring out that part. "I went to hit her with a right when she caught my hand and there was a flash of light, which caused us both to black out for a couple of seconds. I guess that she was prepared for what happened, as she got to her senses before I did and cuffed me to the radiator before I had a chance to stop her. She told me that the Mayor gave her a device so she could switch bodies with me. She was starting to explain all the things that she wanted to do when those bastards from the Council turned up and drugged me. The next thing I know I see you going all Rambo on them and save my life, again. So how did you work out what happened?" she asked.

"I decided to look for Faith as well, remembering the motel where she stayed at was the only place we didn't consider looking. When I got there I found out from 'you' that the Council had taken 'Faith'. As we started walking, she wasn't acting like you, and when she suddenly bolted when I said something to her, I came back here trying to work out what was up. That was when I had the idea that you and Faith had switched, so I came to get you so we could sort everything out."

"What if you had been wrong?"

"Either way I wasn't going to let the Council kill someone just so they could get another Slayer that would be easier to handle," Xander told her.

"Thank you for saving me," Buffy told him sincerely.

"That's what friends do for one another; you would have done the same for me wouldn't you?"

"Of course," she replied instantly, before her eyes widened. "Oh my god! Faith is still out there, she could be doing anything and I would shoulder the blame!"

"I doubt that you really have anything to worry about," he assured her. "She did this so you would be the one on the run, she wouldn't risk that by acting out."

"What are we going to do?"

"I'll call Giles and get him to come over. Between the three of us we'll work something out OK?"

"I want to go and get her **now**!"

"If you go after her, the others will just assume that Faith has come to have another go at Buffy and won't listen to reason," he told her, trying to get he to see things his way. "They'll just think that I was taken in by Faith to help her out."

"Of course they wouldn't," she denied immediately, although her tone wasn't as sure as it could have been.

"You're kidding me right? No matter what I do or say, you all have this block in your minds that doesn't allow you to see me as anything other than a liability. Giles has managed to get over it only because he has been training me and has seen what I can do. You and Willow are the ones that can't get past the 'Xander needs to be protected because he can't protect himself' thing in your heads."

She went to try and deny it again, but when she thought about how they'd been treating him, she stopped herself and looked down at the ground ashamed of herself.

"You're right," she told him softly, "I'm sorry for all the times we've treated you badly. I don't know why we do, we just got it into our heads that we were keeping you out of patrolling to keep you safe. After what I've seen these last few months, I know that we were wrong to do so."

"Thanks Buff," Xander replied.

* * *

'_It was at that point I finally realised that we'd been holding on to each other the entire time, and I had to admit I enjoyed it. It didn't matter to me that she was in Faith's body, she was **Buffy**, and there was nothing more I liked doing than hug her whenever I have the opportunity._

_I reluctantly let her go, only because I had to call Giles and get him to come over here without explaining why. I knew that if I said anything, Giles would blow a gasket and the men he had bound in his living room would find out what had happened._

_I somehow managed to get Giles to agree to come over, and when he got here fifteen minutes later and saw 'Faith', he got a little, well, __**very**__, defensive.'_

* * *

"What the bloody hell is going on here Xander!" Giles bellowed.

"Calm down Giles, let me explain," Xander replied calmly, having expected a reaction like that. "The Mayor left a device for Faith that would allow her to switch bodies with someone, or more specifically, Buffy. She did that, and then left Buffy here to be taken by the Council. I found her, got her back from them, and then came back here to talk about what needed to be done next. We decided that we needed to talk to you first to work out what to do next."

"Don't get me wrong Xander," Giles began, trying to take in what Xander had just told him, "I realise that you wouldn't lie to me about something like this, but I must admit that I'm finding it a little hard to believe."

"I know that it's hard to believe," Buffy admitted, "and if I hadn't actually lived through it I would be right there with you. But what Xander just told you is the truth; Faith switched bodies with me. Take a good look at me Giles; surely you can see I'm telling you the truth?"

Buffy walked up to him slowly, mindful that he was still unsure about what to think, and they looked into each others eyes for what seems like an eternity, but what was probably no more than a couple of minutes. Xander could see the moment Giles recognised Buffy behind her outward appearance, and it only took a moment before he was hugging Buffy fiercely.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't believe you," Giles told her sincerely, "I should have been able to tell."

"You know now and that's all that matters," she assured him. "What we need to work out now is how to get my body back."

"I have an idea," Xander told them, "but I'm not sure how to say it."

"What is it?" Giles asked, vowing to himself that he would take whatever Xander said next seriously.

"Do you have any of the serum left that you used on Buffy during the Cruciamentum?" Xander asked quickly.

Giles knew that Buffy and the others had all forgiven him for what happened, but Xander didn't think that he had fully forgiven himself yet, which was why he had been reticent to ask.

"Uh yes I do, you realise that it takes a while to be effective?" Giles asked, trying to act as though he hadn't been affected by the question.

"I know," Xander admitted, "but if we were to mix it with a strong sedative, by the time she woke up it would have taken effect."

"That would work," Giles told them, "but there's still the problem of actually injecting her with it. We will of course just have to cross that bridge when we come to it; I'll get everything ready."

"Good. By the way, I think that we should keep this just between us three," Xander told them. "Willow needs to act normally around her, something she simply wouldn't be able to do if she knows."

"I agree," Buffy replied, "I love Willow, but she can't keep a secret to save her life."

"Let's just hope that particular situation never comes up then," Xander said, only half joking.

"How will you act normally around her Xander; she did try to kill you after all?" Buffy asked.

"I have had a lot of practise hiding how I really feel towards people, Buff, I'm sure I'll manage."

* * *

'_Buffy didn't seem to like my answer, or the implications of it, but didn't say anything._

_Once we had worked out what we were going to do, Giles left to get rid of the Council operatives in his living room, and to prepare the serum, and I suggested that Buffy stay with me for the night, as it would be risky to go anywhere else while she looked like Faith, adding that I would sleep on the floor._

_She was too tired to argue, not that I thought that she would given she really had no other options, so she just nodded and was fast asleep on my bed about a minute later, not even bothering to get under the covers. I covered her with a blanket and then went to sleep myself._

_As soon as I woke up the next morning, I went and made breakfast for both of us, knowing that Buffy would probably be as hungry as I was after what she'd gone through yesterday._

_By the time I came back down with the food, Buffy was awake. I gave her breakfast to her and she almost inhaled it, which didn't really surprise me as she probably hadn't eaten anything the last 24 hours or so.'_

* * *

"While I wash everything up, why don't you take a shower?" Xander suggested once he too had finished his food. "You can borrow some of my clothes; they should probably fit, or at least not be so loose that it would notice."

"Thanks, I suppose that's one thing I can be thankful for," Buffy replied, indicating her currently fuller figure.

"That and the fact you would be half way to England by now if you hadn't been rescued by a charming and handsome hero," Xander told her seriously, well, as seriously as he could with a wide beaming smile on his face.

* * *

'_I just about managed to dodge the pillow that was thrown with deadly accuracy at my head for that comment before I made my upstairs and left Buffy to have her shower._

_Once I had washed and dried everything I returned, making sure that I knocked loudly before going back in so I didn't catch her undressed. It was still a shock to see Buffy's mannerisms in Faith's body, as the two simply didn't mesh, and I was glad that it wouldn't be for much longer._

_We had arranged to get to Giles' at eleven to get everything ready for the meeting at noon. With a change of clothes, and the fact that Buffy didn't act like Faith, we felt that no one would really take much notice of us, but to be on the safe side we decided to take the scenic route there._

_When we got there, Giles had not only worked out how to reverse the switch and had prepared everything for the spell, he had also prepared the serum, although he was very reticent to use it.'_

* * *

"The ritual doesn't take very long to perform so there won't be any need for the potion," Giles told them, hoping that he wouldn't have to use it.

"I know you don't want to use it Giles," Xander told him, not wanting to use the stuff either, "but we'll need to speak to her once everything has been fixed and it would be safer if she wasn't a risk to us or herself when we sis. We can wait until after you've performed the ritual if you wish, but we will need to use it."

"Xander…"

"Listen Buff," he said cutting in before she could say anything, "we know that Faith did wrong; no one can deny that, including me. As I told you before, what I did last night would have happened either way, as she did not deserve the punishment we all know she would have received at the hands of the Council. I feel she deserves another chance, but if she doesn't want to **take** that chance, we could turn her into the police and let **them** deal with her."

Xander could tell that Buffy wanted to say something more, but instead she just nodded her assent.

"I think it would be best that Buffy stays out of sight until after we have knocked Faith out," Giles suggested, "as we don't need a confrontation if we can avoid it."

Again, Buffy just nodded, and then made her way upstairs out of sight.

* * *

'_Once Buffy had gone upstairs, Giles asked me about what really happened the previous night. I hadn't told him all the details of how I got Buffy away from the goon squad yet, and he wasn't buying the highly edited story I had given him._

_Knowing that I had no other choice, I told him everything and once I was finished I could tell that he wasn't happy. He was about to start lecturing me when I cut him off.'_

* * *

"Listen Giles," Xander began, "there are going to be times when I do things that you may not agree with; that's what happens in real life. If there had been time, I would have probably contacted you first, and we could have worked out something between us, but with the circumstances the way they were I had to make a decision, and it is a decision that I stand by. If I had stood by and let them take her, regardless of whether she was Buffy or Faith, it would have been tantamount to me signing her death warrant myself. That was something I just couldn't live with and you know it."

"You are right," Giles agreed. "There are going to be times that we'll disagree, and I'm sorry that I didn't handle it a little better. It's a Giles family tradition for the father to admonish the son when they think they've done something wrong, even if they would have done the same thing."

* * *

'_When Giles said that, I couldn't help myself; I had to hug him._

_Knowing that he cared that way about me was a little overwhelming. I soon managed to compose myself and let him go; he looked a little embarrassed, but he understood my reasons. Once I let go, he cleaned his glasses and asked if I wanted some tea, to which I said yes._

_Noon soon came, and Willow and 'Buffy' came with it, arriving right on time. As Willow was listening to 'Buffy' going on about what she did the previous night, I slowly walked behind her, and before she knew what was happening, I injected her with the sedatives._

_She was out before she even knew what happened, and before __**I**__ knew what was happening, I had Willow shouting and screaming at me. Giles managed to drag her off me once he could see that I had no intention of fighting back.'_

* * *

"What the hell are you **doing** Xander!" Willow yelled. "And why are you letting him Giles?"

"I want you to listen to me very carefully Willow," Xander told her, "last night Faith used a device given to her by the Mayor to switch bodies with Buffy. I managed to get Buffy away from the council but we couldn't say anything to you earlier as it was safer that you acted naturally around Faith until we could drug her, which we've just done. You must have noticed that she wasn't exactly acting like herself?"

"I did notice a couple of things," she admitted, "but I thought that was due to the fight with Faith."

"I give you my word that we are being completely honest with you Willow," Giles informed her earnestly. "Now if I let you go, do you promise to contain yourself?" he asked.

"Uh huh," she replied.

* * *

'_Once Giles let Willow go, we went about tying Faith up in a chair, and then we called Buffy down._

_While Giles prepared to begin the reversal, Willow and Buffy had their little emotional moment, where Willow babbled about being sorry for not noticing earlier, and Buffy kept telling her she had nothing to be sorry about._

_Just Giles he was about to begin, I realised something that would seriously affect what we were about to do.'_

* * *

"We need to tie Buffy up," Xander told them suddenly, causing Buffy to spin round and look at him like he was crazy.

"**What**!" Buffy shrieked.

"Who's body are you in?" he asked her.

"Faith's…" Buffy's eyes widened as she got what he meant. "Oh."

"Exactly."

"I can't believe we didn't think of it before," Giles said.

"I know that if we suggested that we thought about tying Buffy up before," Xander replied with a slight grin, "we may well have lost a very important part of our anatomies."

"You're probably right," he conceded with a grin of his own.

"Come on and tie me up already," Buffy snapped.

"That's like music to my ears… OW!"

* * *

'_Sometimes Buffy needs to remember that I'm not a vampire, so there's no need for her to use Slayer strength to hit me._

_We tied Buffy up, ensuring the bonds were tight enough to hold her, but not so tight to hurt, and then Giles started the reversal ritual._

_The ritual was over in a couple of minutes, culminating in two flashed of light that went from one Slayer to the other. Once it was completed, I injected Faith with the potion and then untied Buffy._

_Giles and I had decided that we should be the only ones to talk to Faith once she came round, as we had the best chance to get through to her and persuade her to change her ways, so Willow and Buffy decided to go grab some food and maybe catch a movie. They both promise to return afterwards to ensure we're still alive, a joke that neither of us found remotely funny._

_It took a few minutes for the sedative we gave her to wear off, and when it and Faith realised she'd been caught out, she tried to sound like she wasn't all that fussed.'_

* * *

"So Jeeves worked out what happened huh? How long do we have to wait before the council turns up?" Faith asked the pair nonchalantly.

"Firstly, it was thanks to Xander that your ruse was discovered," Giles informed her, "and secondly, there won't be anyone from the Council coming for you, which again is thanks to Xander."

"What did BoyToy do, suck their dicks so…"

"SHUT UP!" Xander snapped, actually surprised when it worked. "I saved your body last night from those council yahoos, telling them that if they come after you, Buffy or step foot in Sunnydale, they'll get returned to England piece by piece."

"When did you grow a pair BoyToy?" she asked him snidely.

"About the same time I saved your ass and slept with you," he told her with a shrug. "The first thing that you need to know is that it won't be Buffy, Giles or Willow or even myself that decides what happens to you, that pleasure goes to yourself."

"In that case I decide to be let free," she told them immediately.

"Doesn't work that way," Xander said with a shake of his head. "We're going to offer you a choice, the same choice I tried to give you the day you tried to kill me. We know you've made mistakes; we all have at one time or another. We want to give you a second chance, and I think you deserve one."

* * *

'_We spent the next few hours talking, and Faith had started slowly but surely opening up to us. She opened up to me because I was the only one who had tried to help her before, and she opened up to Giles because he had immediately apologised for not taking better care for her, and told her that he wanted to make it up to her._

_We went over what had happened before her coma, explaining that we knew where we had gone wrong, but also ensuring she knew that she wasn't blameless in what had happened. We took extra time to talk over what happened with Finch, and ensured she knew that what had happened had been an accident, one that both she and Buffy were responsible for, but that Finch himself had to take some responsibility given that he had to know walking into a situation like that was unwise and dangerous._

_Faith also gave us some insight about what he life had been like before we met her, and I was upset but not overly shocked to hear that it sounded a whole lot like mine had, but without the friends to help her over the worst times. It wasn't a big leap for either Giles or myself to read between the lines about some of the things her father had done to her, and if either of us ever had the misfortune of meeting him, we would take extreme pleasure in ensuring he knew that what he'd done was wrong._

_By the time we were expecting Buffy and Willow to return, Faith could tell that we only wanted to help her now, and more importantly we could tell that she wanted to be helped._

_We explained to her that we have to keep her here for a few days until we know we could trust her, she said she understood but we could tell she didn't like it.'_

* * *

"Giles has said that you can have free reign of the house," Xander explained, "but we'd prefer it if you didn't go out unless one of us was with you. While it is partly down to trust, there is also the possibility that there may still be some of those Council bastards around. It won't be for long, and as long as you stay honest with us everything will be fine."

"Listen, I aint expecting an easy ride," Faith told them, "and I know that it'll take a whole lot for B or Red to even consider trusting me, so don't sweat it. All I ask is that you give me the chance to try. I'm feeling a little tired, is it OK if I go up and catch a few z's?"

"Of course it is Faith," Giles told her with a smile. "I shall see you in the morning."

"Night G, night Xand."

* * *

'_Buffy and Willow come back about fifteen minutes later, and they both made a point to avoid talking about Faith._

_Faith had taken the first step on the road to redemption by admitting that she wanted to change, but if these two don't meet her half way and give her a fair crack of the whip, figuratively speaking, Faith won't have a chance._

_I know these two have their own reason for not liking Faith, admittedly Buffy's were more valid than Willow's, but they had to get over them if we were to have any chance at succeeding in bringing Faith back into the fold._

_Knowing that this would blow up in our faces if they kept this up when Faith came down again, I decided to put my life on the line._

_I really should get hazard pay for this; hell, I should get __**paid**__, period.'_

* * *

"Do you trust me?" Xander asked the two women.

"Of course we do Xander," Buffy replied immediately, Willow soon nodding in agreement, "why do you ask?"

"Do you trust Giles?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Again yes we do. What's all this about?" she asked, this time a little more strongly.

"If you trust us both, then you should trust us when we say that Faith is deserving of a second chance," Giles said to them, deciding to put his neck right next to Xander's on the chopping block.

"I have told her in no uncertain terms what will happen if she screws it up," Xander went on, "so all that I ask from you is that you don't go out of your way to antagonise her."

"What are you on about?" Willow asked, looking confused.

"You know full well what I'm on about Will; even before she went bad, you made little comments about Faith all the time, and the same went with you Buff," Xander told the pair. "I'm not saying you need to be all pally with her," he continued, "but you should both try to hold back the insults, or at least try not to start a slanging match. Do you think you could do that for us?" he asked.

Buffy and Willow looked at each other for a few seconds, using their own version of silent communication that Willow and Xander had perfected years ago.

"Fine," Buffy replied with a sigh, Willow nodding also, "we won't start anything with her, but if she does all bets are off."

"That's all we ask," Giles assured them.

* * *

'_After a cup of tea and a chat, Buffy and I took Willow back to her parents house, the Rosenburgs continuing on their quest to get reacquainted with their daughter, and then I escorted Buffy back to her dorm._

_Once we reach her door she turned to me and grasped one of my hands between both of hers.'_

* * *

"I just wanted to thank you for saving my life, again," Buffy to him sincerely. "I know I haven't really said that to you before, in fact I threw it in your face that time I danced with you."

Xander couldn't help but flinch as that memory resurfaced. When she had danced with him like that, it had been as though all of his prayers had been answered. For her to have only done that to show him up and make Angel jealous had hurt him more than any physical blow ever could, and even though he had resolved it within his own mind, it didn't mean he wanted to be reminded.

Buffy must have noticed his reaction as she pulled him into a hug. "I never did apologise for doing that to you did I?"

"I enjoyed the dance Buff, in fact its right up there with the best experiences of my life. It was the reasons behind the dance that caused the damage. I forgave you a long time ago; I know that you weren't exactly thinking clearly back then as you were suffering from PTSD."

"PTSD?"

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," Xander explained. "Coming back from the dead can't be the most relaxing experience, and as you didn't have many people you could talk to about it without enjoying another stay in a padded room for a while afterwards, I can understand why you had behaved like you did."

"If you hadn't come along with Angel I wouldn't have come back from the dead at all," she commented, thinking that it would make him feel better. Al it did was cause him to flinch again. "What's up Xand?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly, a little **too** quickly for Buffy's liking.

"Spill," she demanded, knowing that he was hiding something.

"You're not going to like it," he warned.

"I don't care, spill."

"I didn't come along with Angel, **he** came along with **me**."

"Huh?"

"Everyone, Angel included, had accepted that you were going to die at the hands of the Master. Being the stubborn SOB that I am, I didn't see it the same way and wanted to help you. I went to Angel's place to convince him to lead me to the Master's lair, where he told me that there was no point, as you were destined to die and there was nothing that could be done. It was at that point that I shoved a cross in his face and told him that if he didn't lead me to you I'd dust him. The rest you know."

* * *

'_She was shell-shocked for a few moments and when she looked up at me she had that look that I had only seen from her a couple of times before. The first was during that love spell incident and the second was when I saved her from Teresa._

_She looked so beautiful and in a moment of weakness I let my instincts take over and leant down to kiss her. What surprised me was that she returned and even deepened the kiss, and soon our tongues were fighting for dominance. It felt that time had stopped still, and that we were the only two people in the world._

_I had never felt so happy._

_We only stopped when oxygen became extremely necessary and it took every bit of strength I had to stay on my feet._

_Words failed me; there was no possible way of describing just how I felt at that moment and I knew that if I tried, I'd make a complete has of it. Knowing that Buffy would try to play this down, I decided to leave so I could have one night of contentment before reality kicked in and my heart shattered once more.'_


	9. Chapter Eight

_**Chapter Eight**_

'_I decided the next day that I would go see Buffy and work out what happened last night, as I knew she could have stopped the kiss if she wanted to and she hadn't, she'd even deepened it._

_That had to count for something, didn't it? I sure as hell hoped so._

_I had to work during the day, so I had decided to try and catch her on patrol. As I reached the cemetery she was supposed to be patrolling, I got hit over the head and blacked out before I even hit the ground._

_When I came to, I found that I was no longer in the cemetery and was instead in a basement somewhere chained to a wall. I knew from previous experience that this is not a good place to be, and the fact I had actual experience in this proved just how much my life sucked most of the time._

_The situation had only gotten worse when I heard a familiar voice in the background; Spike. Whenever Deadboy Jr. was in town I knew things would take a turn for the worse. The last time he captured me, things didn't end how I had hoped, quite the opposite in fact, and I just __**knew**__ that this would be no exception._

_I also knew that if I had the slightest chance, I was going to beat the unlife out of him and send him to The Master and Darla in Hell. When he came into the room, I thought I'd see what sort of mood he was in.'_

* * *

"How are you Billy, Dru take you back?" Xander asked with a smile.

The fist in Xander's gut told him that Spike didn't take too kindly to the question. "You got spunk Whelp I'll give you that," Spike told him.

"And mine works as well."

That comment earned Xander a second fist in the gut, and he was suddenly glad he hadn't eaten recently because he would have soon seen it again, not that his body wasn't trying to anyway.

"I guess you're wondering why you're here as opposed to being dead or turned?" Spike asked him as he walked to and from in front of him.

"It did cross my mind," Xander replied.

"I've changed professions and have become an Archaeologist," the master vampire explained. "I'm looking for an artefact, and I want to keep that Slayer bint of yours busy and I figured having to look for you would do the trick. That and the fact that, if she does get lucky enough to find me before I've found what I'm looking for, you'll be my insurance policy to get out here."

"When she finds you there's going to be a Dust Buster with your name on it," Xander told him confidently.

"Once I find this artefact, that bitch won't stand a chance."

* * *

'_He decided to hit me again, this time full in the face, and the darkness claimed me once more._

_I came to a few hours later and instantly wished that I hadn't, as I had one hell of a banging headache. A couple of Spike's cronies must have heard me move, as they decided to come in and take a few pop shots at me, making sure not to cause too much damage as Spike wanted to keep me alive. I resisted the urge to make my usual comments, realising that it would only get me a few more bumps and bruises, or possibly worse if I hit a nerve._

_After they left me hanging, literally, they went back outside the door, but they stayed close enough to me that I was able to overhear their conversation, where they kept on about haw once Spike had found some mythical gem that would make him unstoppable, they'd be riding his coattails to the big leagues._

_I didn't like the thought of Spike, or any vampire for that matter, getting their hands on a gem like that, and I realised that I had to find a way out of this to let Buffy know what was happening._

_The problem I had was that, unless she was going to be walking past the basement window any time soon, I doubted I would be able to do anything but wait._

_I must have drifted off again at some point, as when I came to again I could see that a few vamps were in the basement with me. Things really turned bad for me when I heard another familiar voice. It seemed that Harmony, one of Cordelia's sheep at high school, had been turned during graduation. It seems that vampirism hadn't done anything for her intelligence, but at least the rumours of her being a blood sucking bitch were now true.'_

* * *

"I can't wait until my blondie-bear finds that gem and kills that Buffy bitch," Harmony told the others excitedly. "He's been so tense lately, and it takes ages for me to get him properly… relaxed," she added suggestively.

* * *

'_Hearing Harmony talk about her sex life with Spike made me want to retch more than when Spike had hit me._

_I couldn't believe that Harmony was Spike's new girlfriend; I thought that even he had better taste than that. I mean Drusilla was as loony as they come, but at least she was interesting, in a 'ooh, look at what the crazy lady's doing' sort of way._

_What was worse, at least from my perspective, was that Spike left her in charge of guarding me._

_After half an hour of non-stop talking on her part, I couldn't take it anymore.'_

* * *

"Spike!" Xander yelled loudly. "I can't stand this any longer! You need to either kill me or gag her!"

"What are you talking about Harris?" Spike growled as he came stalking into the basement.

"If you don't shut up Harmony up, I swear I'll gnaw my way through these shackles and stake you myself!"

When he realised what the problem was, Spike immediately told Harmony to leave.

"I'm sorry mate," Spike apologised, surprising Xander that he actually sounded sincere, "I didn't ask her to stay in here; she must have taken it upon herself to keep you company. I may be an evil bastard, but not even **I** would inflict her upon you on purpose."

"I gotta ask; why the hell are you with her?"

"She gives good head," Spike replied.

"Ah."

"Anyway I'll make sure she doesn't bother you anymore," Spike assured him. "Make yourself comfortable; you'll be here for a while."

* * *

'_He wasn't wrong; I was still there three days later._

_I was feeling weak as a kitten, which only reminded me of Dru again, as I was only getting fed when they remembered I existed; I was starting to think I was back at home with my parents._

_The younger vamps had all taken turns at one time or another to use me as a punching bag; I'd made a mental list of which order I would dust them and how much pain I'd inflict beforehand._

_During my brief periods of consciousness, I had heard them talking amongst themselves about Spike's progress, and how they would like nothing more than to stake Harmony to shut her up, something that I would wholeheartedly agree with._

_I was about to pass out again, when I heard Spike whooping and cheering like he'd won the lottery. He burst through the door and started jumping about like a mad man, all the while looking at a ring he had on his right hand.'_

* * *

"I've got good news for you Whelp; tomorrow I'm letting you go. Even better news is that I get to kill my third Slayer. Isn't that **great**! And to top it all off you're going to help me."

* * *

'_The thought of helping Captain Peroxide to do anything but watch the sunrise sickened me so I spat in his face, which earned me a right cross and I blacked out once more._

_When I finally came to, it took me a few seconds to focus on my surroundings, given that it was a lot brighter than I was used to, but eventually I could see Buffy about 10 feet away from me._

_She looked concerned for me, so I tried to let he know that I was OK as best I could, but I found it difficult to speak. I went to move towards her, and it was then that I realised that Spike had me by the throat, which explained why talking was difficult. The last thing I noticed was that it was daytime._

_We're out in the open, it's __**daytime**__, and Spike isn't bursting into flames. Why do I think this is a bad thing?_

_I was still a little out of it, but I was still able to hear the usual vamp-Slayer banter going on between Buffy and Spike, and I could see that Buffy was starting to get into a fighting stance.'_

* * *

"Let him go Spike," Buffy ordered.

"Snoopy and I have been getting along famously," Spike said happily, "I might even turn him. After I drain you dry of course."

"You do realise that you're full of shit?" she told him.

"You do realise that there's no way that you can kill me. I suppose you could try sunlight? Oh that won't work now will it?" he declared with a smile.

* * *

'_Knowing that Spike would probably kill me as a way to distract Buffy, I knew that I had to get away from him and fast. Hoping that I had enough strength to make it affective, I kicked the side of his knee as hard as I could, which was just enough to unbalance him and release his hold of me. I then dived out of the way and landed roughly on the ground._

_It took a couple of minutes to get my senses and when I turned to see the fight, I could tell that Buffy wasn't winning. She was getting in as many blows as Spike, but without a way to kill him she would soon start to tire, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before after that until she was at his mercy._

_That was when I remembered the ring Spike was wearing on his finger, which I guessed was housed the gem he was looking for. I yelled to Buffy to remove his ring, and after she looked him over and found what I was on about, she redoubled her efforts._

_Knowing that he had just lost his advantage, Spike also increased the tempo, hoping to finish Buffy off before she had a chance to take the ring from him._

_The problem was that now Buffy had a way to stop him, she had become like a dog with a bone; she relentlessly went at him, doing whatever she could to grab his hand, no longer bothering to even block the blows he sent her way in her quest._

_Eventually Buffy caught him in a wrist lock and managed to remove the ring from his finger. Spike completely freaked out the moment it left his hand, and tried to escape the now very deadly sunlight. His luck had finally ran out, however, when he realised that there wasn't anywhere for him to hide._

_After about a minute of the air being filled with screams of agony and rage, all that was left of William the Bloody was a cloud of dust._

_After watching Spike blow away in the wind, Buffy came running over and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Although I loved being this close to Buffy, oxygen was seriously becoming an issue.'_

* * *

"Buff, believe me when I say that I would love to stay this way but breathing is just a little bit more important," Xander gasped out, definitely not feeling his best.

Buffy released the hold slightly, but still kept hugging him like her life depended on it. "I was so scared that I would never see you again!" she cried into shoulder. She kept babbling on along the same lines for another minute or so, never giving Xander much of a chance to enter the conversation beyond making sounds of reassurance.

"Buffy, I don't know if you've noticed this," he said softly in her ear, "but you've been hugging me for the last few minutes. I can't say that nothing will ever happen to me, but it will take a lot more than a sodding Billy Idol wannabe to take me away from you!" he assured her.

* * *

_'I kissed her on the forehead; she looked up at me and once again I felt breathless, but this time because of what I saw in her eyes. I basked in the glow of her eyes for a moment, before she pulled me into a kiss that was so warm and tender that my entire body felt like it was melting._

_We knelt down and then lied back on the grass, kissing each other tenderly, and we remained that way for several minutes, although to me it felt like an eternity. When we finally broke apart, she rested her head against my chest.'_

* * *

"You know Xander," Buffy said a little breathlessly, "you should always kiss like that."

Xander couldn't help but laugh at that, and soon they were both in fits of laughter.

"I hate to ruin the mood," Xander said between laughs, "but I'm not exactly feeling April Fresh at the moment. Do you mind if I go and get showered and changed?" he asked.

"I have to admit that you have smelled better," she agreed with a grin as she sprung to her feet, the majority of her injuries from her tussle with Spike having already healed, "I guess a shower and a change of clothes would be a good idea. You need a hand?"

"No I'm fine," Xander assured her, soon proving the opposite when as he tried to get up, everything started to spin and if Buffy hadn't caught him, he'd have fallen to the floor again.

"You sure you don't need a hand?" she asked with a small grin, although it was overshadowed by the concern that was coming off her in waves.

"After careful consideration," Xander informed her, "I've decided to take up your kind offer of assistance."

* * *

_'With Buffy's help, I slowly made my way back to my place, although we did stop a few times, either to enjoy another bout of kissing, or because I was just so exhausted from my ordeal that I wasn't able to move as fast as I wanted to. I wouldn't have cared if it had taken me a thousand years to get home, as long as Buffy kept holding me that way._

_When we finally got to my house, my luck ran out as my dad opened the door on his way out just as we reached it, and immediately started shouting at me.'_

* * *

"You look like shit boy, where've you been?" he asked his son, continuing on his tirade before Xander could speak. "I bet it's nothing more than you deserve though; you've always been a worthless piece of shit, and I should have had the bitch cut you out as soon as we found out she was expecting."

Xander moved past his father as though he wasn't even there, pulling Buffy along behind him. "Just ignore him Buff, I always do. It makes living here that much easier."

Xander could see that Buffy wanted nothing more than to smear his father across the wall, but his words were enough to calm her and in doing so probably saved his father's life. Then his father started talking again and all bets were off.

"Hey boy who's the bitch?" he asked with a leer sent Buffy's way, making her suddenly need a shower. "I hope you didn't pay too much for her; I don't mind sloppy seconds, so send her my way after you're through."

The next thing he knew, Xander's father was lying on the floor with Xander's foot pressed tightly against his neck. How Xander was able to keep upright was a miracle, as was how he managed to not crush his father's neck. He wasn't that bothered about the latter.

"Listen to me you sack of shit," Xander growled, "if you ever speak about Buffy or any of my friends like that again, you'll be begging me to kill you before I'm through. Do you fucking understand?"

Xander's father managed to nod, finding it difficult to speak with his windpipe being crushed as it was, and Xander released him and watched he quickly ran out the front door. The adrenaline began to wear off at that point and Xander stumbled backwards, Buffy once again saving him from hitting the ground.

"Are you OK?" Buffy asked softly.

"Not really, but I hope to be soon," he replied with a small, sad smile. "I'm sorry you had to see that, he's not normally that lucid." Xander meant to say that he wasn't normally that bad, but he was too tired to lie.

"You didn't need to do that you know," she told him, meaning his scene with his father.

"Nobody gets to talk to you like that without having to deal with me," he told her firmly, "not even my father."

* * *

_'She kissed me gently on the lips in gratitude, and then helped me down to the basement, otherwise known as home._

_We eventually get to the basement and I told her to make herself at home while I went to take a shower. It was the first shower I'd had in quite a while, and I took a lot longer than normal, partly because it took a long time for me to feel clean again, and because between my injuries and exhaustion I was having trouble doing a good job._

_Once I got out of the shower, I realised I had made a terrible mistake; I forgot to take a change of clothes in with me, and the towels I had in the bathroom weren't exactly the largest in the world. After arguing with myself for a few minutes, I finally bit the bullet and wrapped a towel round me as best I could and went to my room._

_When Buffy sees me she quickly turns around but I can see her looking at me using the mirror on my wall, half in admiration and half in sympathy at the multitude of scrapes and bruises I had accumulated the last few days._

_When I asked her not to turn around until I said so, all I got was a distracted murmur of agreement; I wasn't even sure she knew what she was agreeing to, but it still mad me feel good that I could make her react that way._

_I decide to throw caution to the wind, so I whipped off my towel; I heard a gasp from Buffy and inwardly smiled, although I was feeling a little embarrassed being this exposed to her, especially as Little Xander was enjoying the thought of her paying such close attention. After taking a little longer than was necessary to retrieve some clothes, I quickly put on a pair of boxers, quickly followed by a pair of faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt._

_I told her she could turn around, and when she did I could tell that she was more than a little flushed by what she had seen; I tell you, it's always good to know that you can get that sort of reaction from a woman, especially one you've had your heart set on on and off for four years.'_

* * *

"Did you enjoy the show?" Xander asked with a grin.

"I don't know what you're on about," Buffy replied in denial, although her blush increased in intensity.

"I've lived down here a while, so I know where the mirrors are," he told her, indicating the mirror she had been using to get a free peek.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…"

"Hey I'm not mad," Xander told her, cutting in before she could say too much, "it isn't as though you're the first person to ogle the Xan-Man."

* * *

_'When she asked me what I was on about, I went on to explain my very time working in a male strip club, short-lived career as an exotic dancer._

_It took her a good ten minutes to stop laughing, and even then she would let out a giggle or two every now and then._

_That does __**not**__ do a man's ego any good I can tell you._

_We were lying next to each other on my bed, enjoying the closeness this new stage in our relationship allowed, when I suddenly realised something; we had completely forgotten to call Willow and Giles to let them know we were OK._

_I reluctantly got off the bed and made my way to the phone called Giles to let him know we were fine and explain what had happened; he kept asking me if I'm OK and it took me several attempts before I had eventually convinced him that I was actually fine and not just saying that. Then after he spoke with Buffy for a while to prove that she too was alright, we managed to get him off the phone._

_I then called Willow and went through the same process all over again, although before I could even begin to convince her I was alright it took me a few minutes to calm her down. Once she was finally convinced I'm OK, I told her I'd see her later at Giles'._

_When I put the phone down, my stomach decided to remind me that it had been neglected the last few days by rumbling quite loudly.'_

* * *

"I don't know about you," Xander said, "but I could definitely go for some food right about now, as my stomach thinks my throat has been cut."

"I'll go to the kitchen and…" Buffy began, only to be cut off by Xander.

"There's no point doing that," he told her, "as all you'd find is mould and booze. Why don't we go out somewhere to eat?" he suggested.

"I know exactly where we're going, we're going to my mom's."

Xander nodded, knowing better than to argue. "Alright," he agreed, "but it might be wise to ring her and prepare her for us before we just turn up."

* * *

_'She agreed with me, which was a change, and went to call her mom. We had forgotten that she was aware of what had been going on, so we had to go through things a third time._

_It was only when Buffy said why she had called in the first place that Joyce allowed her off the phone, but only because she had all but ordered us to come right over so she could see them both with her own two eyes, as she had put it._

_As we're walking to Joyce's, I decided to asked the question that had been niggling at me since she first kissed me all those days ago; what was going to happen now.'_

* * *

"We're going to my mother's house to have dinner," Buffy told him, not really understanding the question.

"You know what I mean," Xander told her with a sigh, lifting up their joined hands, "what's going to happen with us? Is there even an **us** for things to happen?"

"I want there to be, more than I've wanted things for a while now," she told him, "but I want to take it slow. I don't want to ruin what we already have."

"That's fine with me," he assured her, kissing her hand, "a little of you is miles better than a lot of anyone else." That comment earned Xander a hug and a kiss, which he more than happily return. "What are we going to tell Joyce?" he asked after a moment. "We'll need to work out a way of explaining why I'll be looking at you all night. Does she know where I've been the last few days?"

"I was a wreck when Spike got word to me that he had you, and I went to mom's for comfort. I told her what was going on then. I'm glad she isn't a Slayer, or there would have been a sizeable crack in the coffee table when she hit it."

* * *

_'It felt good to know that Joyce was worried about me, something I know my real mother wouldn't have even crossed her mind. I realised then that I hadn't asked about Faith, but I didn't want to ruin the mood, so I decided I would ask later._

_We got to Joyce's and she was at the door waiting for us. The motherly love and concern I could see in her eyes for me almost started me crying. I've never been known to be open with my emotions, but seeing someone look at me the way I've wanted my own mother to all these years was too much._

_She pulled me into a hug that caught me by surprise but I returned it anyway, blinking furiously to try and fight off the tears that were welling up. When Buffy joined in the hug, I gave up trying to fight it and let the tears fall, the stress of the last few days finally catching up with me._

_We stayed like that for a minute or so before finally going inside._

_Joyce told us that she had dinner ready, so we went straight to the dining room. I love Joyce's cooking and tonight was no exception; she had made the most wonderful stew and dumplings with home made rolls and followed by apple pie._

_I tried to control my hunger as best I could, trying to mind my manners, but I was unable to and I started eating as if I hadn't in days, which I realised was pretty accurate, as when Spike and the others had fed me it was almost not worth it._

_After three servings of stew and six rolls, followed by four slices of pie, I was finally sated._

* * *

"Sorry about eating like a pig Joyce," Xander said sheepishly, "combine food fit for a king and an extremely large appetite and that is the result."

"There's nothing to feel sorry about Xander," Joyce assured him, "it's nice to see someone enjoy their food as much as you do. I doubt you were fed properly the last few days."

"Spike wasn't exactly the perfect host. Although I would have had it a lot worse if he'd left Harmony as my guard."

"Harmony's a vamp?" Buffy asked in surprise. "I thought that she died during Graduation?"

"She did, but I'm afraid that she must have been turned in the process. There was so much going on that day that it would have been impossible to check on every body there. There wasn't anything we could have done Buff."

"I know," she said with a small frown marring her face, "but that doesn't make me feel any better."

Xander took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze, and she almost instantly relaxed.

Joyce watched their little moment with a raised eyebrow. "Do I take it that there's something you two want to tell me?" she asked, holding back the pleased smile just bursting to be let out.

"Actually Joyce I would like to ask you a question," Xander told her, waiting for her nod before doing so. "Would you mind if I started dating your daughter?" he asked formally. "Your opinion is very important to me, and I would hate to do so without your approval."

* * *

_'You could have heard a pin drop for the next minute or so, as both Buffy and Joyce had 'deer caught in the headlights' looks plastered on their faces. I guessed that none of Buffy's previous boyfriends ever asked permission to date her before._

_I knew that it was a little old fashioned, but I knew that if you didn't get on the parents' good sight it would always make things harder to make things work. I wasn't all that worried that Joyce would say no, or that she would cause any problems in our relationship, but I wanted to do this thing right from the get go, as I didn't intend to be with anyone else for the rest of my life.'_

* * *

"I don't quite know what to say," Joyce said eventually, her tone not exactly what he had hoped.

"That's fine," he told her softly, "I understand."

Thinking that it was a rejection, Xander's body started to to almost transmit waves of sadness and disappointment. Suddenly, the exhaustion he had been able to keep at bay crashed down on him all at once, and all he wanted to do was get home. "I'm feeling pretty tired, I better be going."

Xander got up and started to make his way to the front door, when he felt a hand land on his shoulder.

"Xander I didn't mean that I didn't approve," Joyce told him, having realised how he had taken her previous comment, "in fact it's quite the opposite. It's just that none of Buffy's other boyfriends ever thought to seek my approval first."

"I would never want to cause any friction between you and Buffy, Joyce. You are both far too important to me to ever do that, so of course I'd want to know that you were happy with us dating," he explained.

"I know, and that is why I would never have a problem with you dating my daughter. I couldn't think of anyone more suitable."

Joyce then pulled him into another hug which he returned happily.

"Thanks Joyce. You have no idea how that makes me feel. Anyway it is late and I better get home."

"NO!" The shock of Buffy shouting caused both of us to jump; Joyce looked over her shoulder at Buffy, who had the good grace to look embarrassed that she had shouted so loud. "I feel like a drink; mom, could you come with me to the kitchen please?"

* * *

_'The pleading look in Buffy's eyes told me exactly what was going to be discussed. As Joyce agreed and followed her daughter into the kitchen, I knew that Buffy was going to her about the incident with my father. I also knew that with two Summers women against me, there was no chance in hell of me being able to leave this house tonight._

_I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't have put up much of a fight anyway, but it's the principal of the thing. When they came out a few minutes later, I wasn't surprised that after I was given a glass of orange juice, the pair all but ordered me to stay._

_With Joyce looking at me like I wished my own mother had so many times, and Buffy using that damned adorable pout of hers, I caved in record time and agreed._

_The smile I received from Buffy warmed me to the core.'_

* * *

"If you could get me a blanket and pillow," Xander asked Joyce, "I'll set myself up on the couch."

"There's no need for that, you're staying in Buffy's room," Joyce replied. "You've been through quite an ordeal the last few days, and it wouldn't be wise for you to be left on your own."

It took Xander a couple of seconds for his heart to start beating again and for his brain to get into gear, and by the time that had happened he found that he was already upstairs and in Buffy's room.

When he went to set up a place for himself on the floor, Buffy stopped him.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a small smile.

"I was getting ready to get to sleep," Xander replied, not quite sure what she meant.

"You're not sleeping on the floor, you're sleeping with me."

"Are you sure?" he asked once his heart had left his throat and returned to its proper position.

"Yes I'm sure," she assured him, "we're both too tired to do anything other than sleep anyway."

* * *

_'I had to ask; it wasn't as though I was going to try anything, as I was barely able to move, but I had to be sure she was OK with it. Anyway, I was so out of it that once she said that she was sure, I just took off my top and jeans and got into bed, already half asleep._

_About five minutes later, I felt an arm wrap around me and the little bundle of perfection lying next to me whispered goodnight. I returned it softly and went back to sleep._

_I woke up the next morning to the sound of buzzing, and for a couple of seconds I couldn't remember where I was. Then there was a murmur next to me, and I saw a very beautiful and very asleep Buffy lying there next to me, and I started to wonder if Spike had killed me and I had gone to heaven._

_I tried to get up without disturbing her, as my bladder had started to protest, but those Slayer instincts of hers noticed. I leaned over and whispered good morning in her ear, and received a mumble that vaguely resembled good morning in reply._

_Realising that was the best I was going to get for the moment, I slipped out of bed and went to take a shower, this time remembering to take my clothes with me. While I'm sure Buffy wouldn't have minded another show, I would have died of embarrassment had Joyce caught me in nothing but my birthday suit._

_By the time I returned to the bedroom, Buffy was now more awake and smiled at me as I sat down on the bed. Even though she was wearing cotton pyjamas covered with little pigs with wings on them, she still looked beautiful in my eyes. I lent over to her and kissed her on the forehead, which was rewarded by another heart stopping smile._

_She then went and had her own shower while I waited, and then we went downstairs._

_Joyce wasn't up yet, so we just sat at the kitchen table. It was at this point I thought I better ask about Faith, as I guessed she hadn't told Joyce we had her.'_

* * *

"I didn't want to speak about this before, but how has Faith been?" Xander asked.

"She's been fine," Buffy replied, "but she hasn't been talking to anyone unless she had to. She didn't believe us when we told her what was going on with you," she explained at his look, "and she definitely didn't like it when we said that she couldn't help us look for you."

"I know I shouldn't ask this, but why wouldn't you let her help?"

"And let her use it as an excuse to escape?"

* * *

_'I was starting to realise that Faith was going to find it almost impossible to get on the right track if she stayed here. Giles and I were willing to give her another chance, but I could see that Buffy and Willow were less willing._

_I couldn't really blame them, but I would have thought that they would have been a little more compassionate. That's also not the only problem we have at the moment. We also had the ring that Spike had found to deal with. If we kept it here every vamp in Sunnydale would be after it._

_I then realised that we could kill two birds with one stone, although I hated to admit it._

_Once we had our breakfast I suggested we go to Giles' and discuss what to do with Faith and the ring with him and Willow. She agreed so she rang Willow and asked her to meet us there._

_Once she did that she sat back down beside me and in a very solemn voice said she had forgotten to do something today, before she pulled me down to her and kissed me._

_We only broke when we heard Joyce coming down the stairs almost ten minutes later._

_I thanked Joyce for allowing me to stay, and for the lovely dinner before we left, and Joyce told me that I was welcome round anytime and gave me another hug before we finally left to met the others._

_All the way to Giles' I knew that what I was going to suggest was for the best, but the fact that I thought that kept giving me shivers._

_When we got there, Willow had already arrived and had brought doughnuts, which got her hugs from both Buffy and myself. I left them talking and went to see Faith._

_When I went in I could see that she was happy to see me, but she was trying very hard not to show it.'_

* * *

"How are you Faith?" Xander asked as he sat down beside her.

"Five by five," Faith replied with a shrug.

"Bullshit, try again."

"Why wouldn't they tell me where you were?" she asked instead of replying

Xander decided to let it go for the moment and answered. "They told you the truth; Spike had kidnapped me for insurance while he was looking for something. He found it yesterday and he tried to use it to kill Buffy. Between Buffy and myself we managed to beat him, and he's now blowing in the wind. I'm sorry that I haven't been around."

"I can't believe that you're apologising for getting kidnapped and probably tortured," Faith said in surprise.

"I don't want you to think that it was because I was avoiding you," he replied with a shrug, which forced a laugh out of Faith that made her entire face light up. Xander liked that laugh, as it was open and free, not the fake suggestive one she normally used.

* * *

_'I decided that I needed to go over my idea with Faith first, because if she was against it, the whole thing wouldn't work._

_Once I went through the idea with her and explained why I thought it would be the best for her, she was actually agreeing with me. She knew that the only way to truly make up for what she did she needed to do it somewhere else. She would also need someone who understood what she was going through, as well as someone who could handle her._

_There was one other person that I had to check with first, and that was a telephone call I was not looking forward to._

_I used the phone in Giles' bedroom to make the call and we talked about it; he was surprised I was the one to suggest it, but after some discussion and a talk with Faith he agreed._

_Once I knew that they were on board I just had to convince the others. After taking a couple of calming breaths, I indicated to Faith that we should go downstairs, and then I began to lay out my plan to the others.'_

* * *

"Listen, before you all start I have an idea that you all need to hear," Xander said as he saw the two women about to say something about Faith being downstairs. "Faith has given me her word that she will not do anything against us and I believe her. If you trust me you will give her the benefit of the doubt."

Knowing that doing anything else would show they didn't trust Xander, Buffy and Willow calmed down and waited for me to continue.

"Faith wants to make up for everything that she has done…"

"How can she make up for what she did!" willow exclaimed, interrupting him.

"Willow I want you to listen to what I have to say, please?" he asked.

Once again she relented, but Xander knew that he had to speak fast. "Faith will find it almost impossible to do that here, obviously given your last comment, as she would always feel that we were waiting for her to slip up. The only way she can truly make a new start is to go somewhere else, and I suggested to her that LA would be the best place."

Xander could see the shocked expressions on their faces; they knew what he was going to suggest before he even said it. "I have suggested that Angel take her in; I have already run the idea by him and he's agreed, but only if you do as well."

Their faces looked even more shocked when they heard he had actually talked to Deadboy, which also proved how serious he was about this. Xander wasn't surprised by who talked first.

"You can't be serious about this!" Buffy exclaimed. Of course, Buffy knew exactly how serious he was, he had **willingly** spoken to Angel after all, but the logical part of her brain always shut down where her former boyfriend was concerned. "She tried to kill him!"

"I know that Buffy, but she also tried to kill me, and I still believe that this will work. She deserves a chance and Angel is the best person to do that. If anybody understands redemption it's him."

* * *

_'Everyone could see that I was trying very hard not to list the things that Angelus did a couple of years ago and that he wasn't known as The Scourge of Europe for nothing._

_No matter what side of the Angel/Angelus debate you were on, no one could deny that he had been given several second chances by us, and to deny someone else a second chance when they had actually done less to us than him was quite frankly a big old double standard._

_The fact that I didn't say any of that, although they all knew I had thought it, seemed to calm Buffy down and even convince her, at least a little._

_I knew that the next thing would seal the, even if I personally was dead against the idea of __**any**__ vampire having that power.'_

* * *

"I would also be able to take with me the other item that only Angel should take care of," Xander told her.

* * *

_'She knew I was talking about the gem of Amara. I knew she had been thinking about sending it to him since she took it from Spike, and was just thinking of the best way to suggest it._

_I didn't like the idea of giving Angel the ring, not even a little bit, but I knew this was the only way to get Buffy on board so I needed t make a deal with the devil, or souled vampire in this case._

_Any ill feeling she had towards me left her in a second and that look she had been giving me for the last few weeks returned. This time I knew what it meant.'_

* * *

"What do you mean **you'll** take it?" Giles asked, being the first to pick up on that, and the concern Xander heard in his voice warmed his heart.

"As I'm the only one that Faith trusts," he replied, receiving an affirmative nod from the woman in question, "there is no other choice."

"I am coming with you," Buffy told him.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," Xander assured her, knowing that it would be pointless to say anything else. She didn't trust that he would be safe alone with Faith, and she probably wanted to speak with Angel in person to ensure he was happy with having her there, Xander had no chance of going without her. "I just want you both to promise me that I will survive the journey. That does of course mean that I will be doing **all** the driving."

Xander quickly turned around and silently suggested to Faith that whatever comment she was about to make would not help the situation at the moment, and luckily she took the hint.

During all of this, Willow had been silent. Xander went up to her and indicated for her to follow him outside, hoping that everyone would still be alive when they came back. "Everything alright Will?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's just I can't believe that you thought of this."

"What, I'm not smart enough to think of a plan?" he asked angrily, having had about enough of their attitude.

"No! That's not what I meant!" she denied immediately. "I know how much you dislike Angel. I can't believe that you would trust him with Faith."

"I may not like him, but I do trust him and even respect him," Xander told her, lying through his teeth. He had decided that for all outwardly appearances he would no longer show any deep animosity towards the vampire, keeping his true thoughts to himself, especially now he was going out with Buffy. Angel would always be a touchy subject with her, and he knew that he had to at least make a show of putting the past behind him. "Of course, if you ever repeat that to anyone I shall have to kill you."

"Are you sure you can keep those two in check?" Willow asked after a moment, meaning Buffy and Faith. "I mean you do realise that Faith has the hots for you?"

"**What**!"

* * *

_'Oh no, my life just can't go easy can it?'_


	10. Chapter Nine

_**Chapter Nine**_

'_We had decided to wait a day or two before leaving for LA, mainly because I wasn't up to driving long distance and that it gave us time to clear with out bosses/tutors for the time we would be gone. We knew that we would need to be there a couple of days to ensure Faith's move went smoothly, and factoring in a days travel there and back, we thought it best to book the week off to be on the safe side._

_Luckily, I had a very accommodating boss, and when he saw the state I was in after I'd explained about my 'mugging' and unconscious state for the last few days, he was happy to give me a few days off to rest up, on top of the days I'd already been absent. I knew that he wouldn't normally be so generous, but the boss was a little more in touch concerning what really happens in Sunnydale than most, and while he hadn't said anything, I knew he was aware at least a little about what I did at night. I wouldn't tell him the truth about my semi frequent injuries, but he wouldn't question the sometimes flimsy excuses I gave him, so it evened out quite nicely._

_Buffy's tutors weren't quite as forgiving, especially one Maggie Walsh, but a little tweaking in the college computer system by Willow had ensured that Buffy would have the time off that she needed without too much hassle. When Buffy had asked her to tweak her grades a little, however, Willow had just put on her Resolve Face and Buffy shut up about it._

_Finally, it was time for us to leave. After saying our goodbyes, Giles actually hugging Faith and wishing her well, which surprised both Willow and Buffy not only because he did it, but also because Faith allowed it, I made Buffy ride shotgun while Faith sat in the back._

_Buffy wasn't too happy with not being able to keep her eye on Faith all the time, but after I vetoed the idea of them both in the back, visions of blood and gore filling my mind, and Buffy vetoing the idea of Faith sitting up front next to me, given that Willow had informed her of Faith's supposed crush one me, she had no choice but agree._

_Finally, I got in the car and said a silent prayer that I'd make it through the journey in one piece.'_

* * *

"Did." 

"Did not."

"**Did**."

"Did **not**."

"**DID**!"

"DID **NOT**!"

* * *

'_I was slowly being driven insane._

_We had only been on the road for ten minutes, and Buffy and Faith hadn't stopped bickering from the moment I turned on the ignition. I didn't even know what they were arguing about. Hell, I doubt even **they** knew what they were arguing about._

_I must have been out of my tiny little mind when I suggested taking Faith to Angel, and that Buffy could come along; I actually thought that they could act like two civilized adults for the couple of hours it would take to get to LA._

_My god was I wrong; the only reason that they weren't trying to knock each other out was because I told them what would happen if they did. I'm just glad that my threat of throwing them out of the car without stopping was taken seriously. I knew that if they kept it up too much longer…'_

* * *

"**DID**!" 

"DID **NOT**!"

"FOR GOD SAKE WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" Xander bellowed, causing the two Slayers to quieten instantly. After Xander took a couple of deep, calming breaths, he continued. "Will one of you please tell me what you are arguing about?"

"She started it!" Buffy and Faith said simultaneously, pointing at each other.

"No I did not."

"Did too."

"Did **not**!"

"Did **too**!"

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

* * *

'_I'd had enough. If I were Popeye, I would have been reaching for the spinach at that point, but I didn't have the luxury of a vegetable that would make me stronger than two mystically enhanced warriors, so instead I had to use more conventional, although not exactly wise, methods._

_I slammed on the brakes, making the car screech to a halt by the side of the road, almost causing an accident. I then get out of the car, taking the keys with me, opened the hood and removed a couple of vital components and put them in my pocket before walking a few meters away from the car._

_By this time, both Buffy and Faith had come to their senses and had left the car and walked over to me, although I guessed by the way they were moving slowly that they'd figured out I was not a happy camper.'_

* * *

"What the hell did you do that for Xander," Buffy asked, "you could have killed us!" 

"You two have been bickering non stop since the moment you first met," Xander replied, "let alone since everything that happened the last year or so. I think it's high time we cleared the air, before I lose what little sanity I have left."

"What's there to talk about?" Faith asked, knowing that any talk that she and Buffy would have would not end well.

"Are we going to discuss all of Faith's victims?" Buffy asked with a sneer in the raven haired Slayer's direction.

"Back off B," Faith warned, not wanting to start anything, but more than willing to finish it if Buffy kept on.

"SHUT UP!" Xander yelled, which once again seemed to work. "My god you're supposed to be adults so fucking **act** like it!" That managed to make both of them look at least a little sheepish at the way they'd been behaving, and Xander decided to use it to his advantage.

"You two never got on, probably due to you both being Slayers. Two alphas vying for dominance will always cause problems," he explained.

"And how did you come up with this?" Faith asked.

"Hyenas are pack animals, and there can only be one alpha with every pack," he told her, "and before you ask, I've had personal experience in that. Of course that was only part of the problem."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, a little uncomfortable with the way Xander had talked about his personal experience with hyenas, although she could see what he was on about.

"The rest of us didn't help the situation, as we were all comparing Faith to you in one way or another. I can see how that would piss you off Faith; although I've never experienced it myself in that way, I can understand how it feels to never quite meet expectations. We didn't really take much interest in you outside of slaying; only Buffy and I knew where you lived and neither of us really commented on it."

"Yep, that about covers it," Faith said in agreement.

"Of course, you didn't help either Faith," Xander went on, ensuring that she didn't think she was blameless in everything. "If you had said you were unhappy where you were, or had stopped deliberately baiting us, I would like to think we would have sorted something out. We didn't really offer much support to you when we found out about your watcher and Kakistos, although again you could have made some attempt to talk to us about it."

"What was I gonna say, that I saw him rip my Watcher apart with his bare hands, and that he'd been hunting me across the country before I got here?" she asked angrily.

"It wouldn't have mattered what you said, as long as you had tried to say it. We both know that bottling up our emotions does nothing but ensure a bigger problem when they're finally released. Next, I shouldn't have slept with you that night during the Sisterhood of Jhe problem, although I doubt I could have resisted if I tried."

"I don't want to hear about this," Buffy said angrily.

"Buffy, you know how I feel about you, but you don't get to tell me what I can and can't talk about, especially as we're about to be meeting up with your ex-boyfriend," he replied a little harder than he had meant to, but he did get the point across. "As I was saying, I shouldn't have slept with you Faith, because when I tried to help you after the whole Finch thing, you just assumed I was there for round two and didn't take my offer of help seriously. I would have preferred it if you hadn't tried to kill me, but that does seem to be a habit with the women I get involved with."

"I'm not sure I would have actually killed you," Faith said quietly, far more subdued than her usual self. "I can't say for certain, given that Fang decided to play the hero, but I never wanted you dead, I just wanted you to stop talking. Either way, I am sorry that I hurt you."

"Apology accepted," he told her, casting a warning look to Buffy to ensure she didn't say anything. "Now, joining the Mayor was definitely **not** the smartest thing you could have done, but he was very good at saying and doing just the right things to get people to trust him, which is probably why he'd been able to stay Mayor for over a century, and he had the added advantage of catching you at your lowest point. We can't condone what you did whilst with the Mayor, but I **can** understand how it got to that stage."

"Don't forget that she killed two people," Buffy pointed out.

"Nor can we forget that you were willing to kill Faith to save Angel, and in fact you thought that you had for a while," Xander retorted immediately.

"He was **dying**!" she exclaimed.

"He's been dead for over two hundred **years** Buffy. I can't deny the good he's done, but I would never, could never, think that killing a human to save a vampire is the right thing to do."

"You're just jealous!"

"Yes I was jealous," Xander admitted, knowing there was no point in denying it. "I was in love with you and you were in love with Angel. There is no way, however, that I would want someone to die just because I was jealous, and for you to think that hurts me more than any physical wound ever could," he added.

"Xander, I…"

"Killing someone to save a demon is wrong no matter what the circumstances," Xander went on, cutting Buffy off. "He nearly killed you when you made him drink from you; if you hadn't managed to push him away, you'd be dead now. The fact you didn't die was the only reason I didn't dust him on sight. If you had to do it again would you still try to kill Faith to save Angel?"

"Yes," she replied without hesitation.

Xander found it a little disturbing that she didn't even have to think about it.

"Would you kill me?" he asked hesitantly, suddenly afraid of the answer.

"**WHAT**?!"

"It's a simple question; if you were told that Angel was dying, and that the only way to save him was to kill me, would you?"

"No," she replied firmly, shocked that he even asked her that.

"Would you kill Giles, or Willow, or Joyce?"

"No."

"But you would kill Faith?" he asked again.

"Yes."

"Even though, by your own words, killing a human is wrong?"

"Huh?" Buffy said in confusion.

Xander really started to believe that Buffy didn't think through her decisions before she made them, and once she'd made them she never questioned them.

"You've said on more than one occasion that killing humans is wrong, the biggest bust up you had with Faith before she joined the Mayor was about that very topic, and yet you would be willing to do so. Isn't that something of a double standard?" he asked her, already knowing the answer, but needing her to realise it as well.

"…"

"It looks like your problem has more to do with Faith than you thought. You have said twice, without any hesitation, that you would kill Faith to save Angel, and yet you would be unwilling to do the same with anyone else you know. Have you ever considered that the Slayer part of you doesn't like the fact that there are now two of you around and is influencing your opinion?"

"I hadn't thought about it," Buffy replied honestly, this being the first time she had actually thought through her feelings.

Xander left her to her thoughts, knowing she was thinking about what he'd said, and turned his attentions once again to Faith.

"Faith, your recent actions were to remove Buffy from the picture, but you in no way shape or form tried to remove the rest of us. Did you even consider trying to get rid of us?"

"Not really," she replied. "Even when I was working with the Mayor, I never liked it when I had to do things to the rest of you," she admitted, holding Willow hostage a prime example, "but I never worried about hurting B."

"I'm not saying that you two should become best friends," he told them, doubting that would happen now given their history, "or even that you have to speak to each other regularly. All I'm suggesting is that the reason there's so much animosity between the two of you, may not be for the reasons you believe."

"I never felt like this around Kendra," Buffy said, trying to work out whether Xander was right.

"That's not entirely true, as I distinctly remember the two of you nearly coming to blows in the library."

"Alright, you have a point, but it was nothing like what I feel for her," she admitted reluctantly.

"Kendra wasn't around that long, Buff, and your lifestyles were polar opposites. Kendra had been trained to be a Slayer, a weapon, from a very young age, and hadn't had anything like the upbringing that you had. I guess that those two things caused the feeling to be less prominent."

"OK, let's say that I believe that our problems with each other aren't as bad as we believe, Faith still killed two people and we can't ignore that," Buffy pointed out.

"I'm not asking you to B," Faith replied before Xander had a chance. "I know that it may not mean much to you, but I want to make up for the things that I've done."

"No one is saying we should be ignoring it, Buff," Xander added, "but nor should we keep reminding her of it; she will be living with it every day of her life. Faith can do a lot more good outside of prison than in it."

Buffy was deep in thought for a while before she spoke again. "OK, Faith gets her shot at redemption. You need to know something Faith; if you mess up again, no more chances."

"Don't worry about that, Xander's explained to me exactly what would happen."

"And that would be?"

"Put it this way, I'm far more worried about what he'd do to me than what you would do."

"Now we have that sorted," Xander said, trying to steer Buffy away from asking any more questions, "why don't we get back on the road, grab some dinner and head on over to Angel's?" he suggested, really wanting to get things over with.

* * *

'_For the sake of my sanity, they both nodded in agreement and made their way back to the car._

_That had gone a lot better than I'd hoped, especially as I hadn't planned on doing that at all. I'd been tempted to point out to Buffy that she had been partly responsible for Finch's death when she went on about Faith having killed two people, but I'd known that any ground we'd made would have been lost. Besides, Faith hadn't said anything, so I thought it was a prime example of letting sleeping dogs lie._

_Anyway, after repairing the engine, I too got back in the car and we resumed on our journey, this time in relative silence. I'd known that they would never become friends, but I hoped that they would one day at least become allies. All I had cared about during the rest of the drive was that I made it intact, which thankfully I did. _

_We arrived at Angel Investigations a couple of hours after our little unscheduled stop, and to prove that this just wasn't going to be my day, the first person we saw was non other than Cordelia Chase._

_I couldn't tell you how much I was __**not**__ looking forward to that, as meeting your ex after breaking up the way we did was never going to be a pleasant experience. When the ex was Cordelia Chase, if you got out alive it would be a miracle._

_OK, so I was exaggerating a little bit there, but I knew that once she realised that Buffy and I were together, it wouldn't take long for her to start bringing up old arguments that I could simply do without. There was also the fact that these days, Cordelia never greeted me with a simple hello.'_

* * *

"You no good son of a bitch!" Cordelia screeched in greeting, 

It always amazed Xander how her otherwise pleasant voice could always feel like an impact drill against his skull at the right pitch. "Hi Cordy how are you?" Xander asked, completely ignoring her tone.

"You've got a nerve coming here you know that? You're a waste of oxygen," she told him angrily.

"I'm good thanks, nice of you to ask," he replied to her non-existent question. "How are you enjoying working for Angel?"

"How's that bitch Willow?" she asked in return, receiving a slight hardening in Xander's eyes for that. "Are you two still going behind Oz's back?"

"Still a vampire hey? Well at least he's consistent."

"Why aren't you fighting with me?" she snapped eventually.

"What would be the point? Yes I did cheat on you with Willow which gives you perfect right to hate me for as long as you see fit. There's no defending what I did so why would I fight you about it?"

"You're just no fun at all are you?" she said with a pout before going over and giving him a hug.

* * *

'_What? You thought there was going to be some sort of knock down, no holds barred, row to end all rows between us? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I know that it's only for show; I'd actually be worried if she didn't insult me, as it would prove that she'd been replaced by a pod person._

_Ugh, the strange image of Cordelia complaining about being put into a pod because the colour didn't match her dress just flickered across my consciousness._

_Getting back on topic, my previous statement was true, in that I hadn't been looking forward to seeing Cordelia again, however I had already had __**that**__ meeting with her when I was in LA on the first leg of my road trip. That had been a knock down, no holds barred, row to end all rows, and had ended with us finally clearing the air between us, and me sporting a lovely black eye for a few days._

_I had just been worried that she would start in on me about Buffy, and then start in on Buffy about, well, Buffy.'_

* * *

"How have you been, got any acting jobs lined up?" Xander asked as she broke the hug. 

"A few, but as I actually have morals I doubt I'll be getting them," she replied, a little dejected. "I cannot believe how many times it's been suggested that if I sleep with them they'll give me the part. They must think I'm an idiot if they think I'll do that!"

"Don't worry Cor, you'll get there and because you deserve it," he told her sincerely, knowing that when Cordelia set her mind on something, nothing and no one could get in her way.

She just nodded in agreement and went to talk with the Chosen Two.

"Hi Buffy, like the hair," she greeted, actually sounding sincere.

"Thanks Cordelia, you're looking pretty good yourself," Buffy replied.

"As if there'd be any doubt," Cordelia retorted with a smile before turning to Faith. "You've got that hooker look down Faith."

"We can't all be tramps can we?" Faith replied with a smile that had little to no warmth in it.

"OK now that the intros are over," Xander said, hoping to nip whatever argument was about to happen in the bud, "is Angel here?"

On hearing Angel's name, Cordelia's expression softened a bit. Xander didn't even want to **contemplate** what that could mean, so he ignored it completely.

"His broodiness is downstairs," she told him, "I'm sure he heard you and will be right up."

As if on cue, Angel appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Buffy," he said in surprise, Xander forgetting that he hadn't mentioned she'd be coming.

"Angel," she replied softly, the emotion in her voice causing Xander to turn away, thinking that the more things changed the more they stayed the same.

"Faith. What?" Faith asked as they looked at her. "That was far too hard to pass up."

Xander repressed his laugh, just happy that he hadn't been the one to do that, although he'd only been a second away from it. "Hiya Deadboy," Xander greeted him with a wave, loving the face Angel pulled whenever he called him that, as it always made him feel that little bit better.

"Xander," he greeted in reply before smirking slightly. "You look like shit."

"Your Grand-childe seemed to enjoy using me as a punch bag. Must be a family trait," Xander retorted, quickly losing his rag now he was face to face with him.

"Darla always did enjoy torture," Angel told him reminiscently.

"She also enjoyed killing my best friend as I recall," Xander snapped, his eyes blazing.

Angel actually had the good grace to flinch at that. It had been over three years since Xander had to stake Jesse, but he could still remember it as though it had just happened, and it did happen every night when he fell asleep.

"Boys," Buffy said warningly, "play nice or no sweets for you."

"Sorry Buffy," they replied simultaneously, glaring at each other as they did so.

"Oh my god," Faith declared, laughing, "you're both **so** whipped."

"I am not," they replied at the same time once more, the glares they were directing each others way intensifying.

All three women began to laugh at the pair, and continued to do so until a man entered the office and walked up beside Cordelia.

"Hello princess," he greeted her with a smile that Xander recognised to mean he was sweet on her, "what're we laughing at?"

"Hi Doyle, I'd like you to meet Buffy, Xander and Faith."

Doyle nodded towards the two Slayers then walked up and put himself in Xander's personal space, hoping to intimidate him.

"Are you the same Xander that cheated on princess?" he asked with a slight growl.

Xander looked at him and tried to hold back an eye roll, as although others might have considered Doyle as menacing at that moment, he'd dealt with both Angelus and Spike so he was not even a blip on his radar.

"Yes, I am," Xander replied calmly.

Doyle took an easily telegraphed swing at Xander, which he only just managed to dodge, as although he'd seen it coming Doyle was faster than he looked, and then took a couple of stapes back.

"If you haven't noticed, I have all my limbs attached, which means that Cordy and I have got past what happened," Xander told him, not wanting to get into a fight with him, especially as he was still suffering from the beating he'd taken from Spike and the others. "She will always remind me of what I did at inopportune moments, as only she can. I appreciate that you want to defend her honour, but she can do that far more effectively with a glance than you could ever do by pounding me into the ground. I would like to add that I know both Slayers and they might not like to see me smeared across the walls."

"Leave him alone Doyle," Cordelia told Doyle with a sigh, knowing that Doyle would probably come off worse if he started anything, if not from Xander then from Buffy, "he may be a cheating scumbag, but he's still my friend."

"You say the nicest things," Xander told her.

"Shut it dweeb," she snapped, although she had a smile on her face.

"You sure princess?" Doyle asked, not really understanding the dynamic between the pair.

"I'm sure; if I wanted Xander hurt I would do it myself."

"Fair enough," he said with a shrug.

"Now that the pleasantries are over," Buffy said sarcastically, "can I have a word Angel?"

"Sure Buffy, follow me."

* * *

'_Angel led Buffy to his office and shut the door behind them._

_Feeling a little mischievous, I decided to eavesdrop. It was the best way to find things out after all; I would have never found out about vampires and Slayers if I hadn't eavesdropped all those years ago, although I'm not sure whether that's a point in my favour or not.'_

* * *

"It's good to see you Buffy," Angel told her softly. 

"Same here," she replied.

* * *

'_The tone in Angel's voice just screamed 'kiss me, I'm Irish'. The bastard left her last year, saying it was for her own good, and then expects to be able to carry on where they left off whenever they see each other._

_As for Buffy, well, let's just say I was not enjoying the tone in her voice, as it wasn't the tone a guy wants to hear his girlfriend use with their ex._

_I know that those two didn't exactly clear the air like they were supposed to, but it hurt to think that Buffy still hadn't gotten over him yet, as it didn't really say much for the future of our relationship, and I finally realised this was what Cordelia went through when we first started going out.'_

* * *

"What did Spike do to Xander?" Angel asked, his tone indicating he wasn't all that concerned but knew that not asking would be wrong. 

"He basically kept him as insurance while he was looking for the gem of Amara," Buffy told him, the anger and fear she had felt during those few days showing through in her tone.

"What!" Angel shouted in shock, which went to prove what Giles had told them about the gem being seen by vampires as their equivalent to the Holy Grail to be true. "I had always thought that it was nothing more than a myth."

"Well you were mythtaken," Buffy replied, Xander smiling at that, as it showed his humour was starting to rub off on her. "He found evidence that it was in Sunnydale, and abducted Xander as a distraction. It took him a few days, but when Spike found it, he decided to come out and play in the sunshine. He had Xander with him, and was using him as a human shield while he described how he was going to kill his third Slayer. Xander managed to break free of him, and then we started trading blows, but Spike had the advantage, what with me not being able to kill him and all. He would have killed me if Xander hadn't shouted to me about the ring; I managed to take it off of him and, after a minute of impersonating The Human Torch, he dusted."

"Why give this to me?" Angel asked after a moment, Xander figuring that Buffy must have just handed the gem to him

"If we keep it in Sunnydale, we'll always have vamps pulling stunts to try and get it from us. I also thought that you would be able to do some good with it," she explained. "I do have to say that it was Xander that suggested that we give you the ring, although I was going to suggest it myself."

"That must have hurt him," Angel commented, Xander nodding in agreement of the statement even if they couldn't see him.

"I must admit that I didn't expect him to suggest it," Buffy told him, "although I think it was partly because he wanted me to agree about Faith coming here," she added, making Xander realise that she was more intuitive than she sometimes let on. I wish that you two could get on better."

"You know that isn't going to happen," Angel told her immediately, Xander frowning as he had though the exact same thing, and was starting to get very creeped out that and Angel kept doing that.

"It would just make things a lot easier if you did," she replied, her tone indicating to both Xander and Angel what she was about to tell him.

"Oh god, you can't be serious!" he declared incredulously.

"What?"

"You and **Xander**?"

"It's a new development," she explained, realising that he'd already figured it out, "and we're taking it slow. I didn't want you to find out from someone else."

Xander figured she'd told him straight away just in case he tried to rub it in. Xander was a little hurt by that, as while he couldn't say it hadn't crossed his mind a time or ten, if he did something like that then he'd be acting the same way Angelus did, and that was the last thing he'd want to do.

"I can't believe that you're going out with Xander Harris," Angel told her.

"Why not?" she asked, her tone hardening.

"We **are** talking about the same Xander Harris aren't we?"

"He's changed a lot since High School," she explained, knowing that Angel was still basing his opinion on what Xander had been like back then, although she had to admit that even then Xander hadn't been as bad as most of them had made out. "Why do you have such a problem it anyway; if my memory serves, **you** were the one who left **me**."

Xander had to repress the urge to shout 'You tell him sister!', both to keep them in the dark that he was there, and to stop people from knowing he watched Ricki Lake when he got home from work.

"I left so you could have a normal life," he told her, "something that you'd **never** have with someone like Xander."

"You don't get to tell me who I can and can't see; you lost all rights when you ran off."

"I didn't run off," he denied angrily.

"What would you call it?" she asked, mirroring Xander's own thoughts.

"I can't deal with this right now," Angel snapped, "I need to patrol."

"Want any help?" Buffy asked, Xander knowing that she did as a way to help her smooth things over with him.

"No I got it," he told her with a sigh, "I'll find somewhere to stow the ring for a while until the heat is off."

Hearing him walk towards the door, Xander ensured that he was out of the way. Angel stormed out of his office, not bothering to look at anyone in the room, and after he grabbed a couple of stakes and a sword from the weapons cabinet he walked out.

Buffy came out of his office a minute later.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" Cordelia asked.

"He just needs to blow off some steam," Buffy replied, sounding a little subdued, "he'll be back once he's killed something."

"I'm pretty tired," Xander said through a yawn, "is there anywhere I could use to sleep?" he asked his former girlfriend.

"Sure, there's a couch and a bed downstairs," she replied.

"Buff, I'll let you and Faith fight over who gets the bed and who gets the couch," he told the pair, not wanting to begrudge either one a semi comfortable sleep, "I'll sleep in the car. If needs be we can rent a couple of rooms tomorrow OK?"

* * *

'_They both nodded in agreement, so they went downstairs, I headed out to the car, hoping that the vampire population didn't see me as the prize in a Kinder Egg._

_The following morning I rose along with the dawn, enjoying the sunrise I rarely got to see these days. There was a time when I would wake up to watch the sunrise every morning, always amazed by the cornucopia of colours that came from it, but since I found out what roamed the streets before then, I stopped._

_I hadn't planned on watching it then either, but I hadn't slept very well in the car, and when I woke up for what seemed to be the hundredth time and saw that the darkness was lifting, I couldn't be bother to try and get back to sleep again._

_Although I should have already figured it out, I discovered that it's difficult to get a good nights rest in a car when you have injured ribs, as there aren't many positions to get into that didn't cause them to hurt without removing limbs._

_Anyway, I waited until the sun was fully visible, ensuring that I wouldn't get drained between my car and the office, which, given the way my luck had been going recently was not so impossible, before I got out of my car and walked stiffly over to Angel's office._

_When I get there I found both Cordelia and Buffy pacing the floor, with Faith watching them both with a look between bemusement and annoyance on her face.'_

* * *

"What's up?" Xander asked Faith as he moved beside her. 

"Fang didn't come back last night; B and Queen C have been acting like this since they woke up," Faith explained.

"I wouldn't worry too much," Xander said, "he probably just lost track of time and is stuck until sundown."

"Anything could have happened to him," Buffy snapped, "we need to find him!"

* * *

'_Not for the first time, the emotions coming through when Buffy talked about Angel was a lot more than I would have liked to hear._

_I know that they have a history, I was there for it after all, and I know that there will be residual feelings for each other; Cordelia and I felt that when we met up during my road trip._

_The amount of feeling I've been hearing in her voice, however, is far more than you would expect, unless she was still in love with him. That thought was not a very nice one, but it wouldn't leave me alone._

_How could I stay in a relationship with Buffy when I know she loves someone else?_

_As I realised yesterday, I guess I know how Cordelia felt now; she always knew that she came second in my affections, something she didn't deserve, but then you can't help how you feel. I'm certain that Buffy has more-than-friendly feelings for me; she wouldn't kiss me the way she does if we were just friends._

_What I'm no longer certain about is whether that is enough.'_

* * *

"Calm down Buff," Xander suggested as he went over to her, trying not to show how much it hurt when she turned away, "he can take care of himself, and has done since before America even existed." 

"He could be hurt, or trapped, or…"

* * *

_Buffy trailed off at that point, before she broke down in tears, Cordelia going over to her and pulling her into a hug, tears in her eyes as well._

_Yet another woman to fall for the tall, dark and brooding one._

_Faith pretty much looked bored with the whole thing, so after sending me a wave she walked past the sobbing duo and went downstairs, probably to use the training room Angel had down there._

_Not being able to stay around the 'We Love Angel' club, I walked out of the off without saying where I was going or when I'd be back. As soon as got outside, I felt bad for not being as supportive to Buffy as I should have been, but with everything I've had to put up with from her recently, my bitterness and pride stopped me from returning right away._

_Instead, I just walked around for a few hours, not really knowing where I was going and, quite honestly, not really caring either. I did stop at a café to have some breakfast, I may not have been thinking clearly but some things were done on pure instinct._

_Around lunchtime, I was walking past what appeared to be a vacant lot, when I had a sudden urge to walk into it. As I got closer, I realised that it wasn't vacant at all, and that there was in fact a bar there. I walked inside and a chill suddenly ran up my spine as I looked around. I could see at least a dozen different types of demon in there, and only a couple of them were human-friendly._

_I was about to freak out completely, especially as I realised that I was unarmed and in no fit state to defend myself, when one of the demons came up to me, wearing something Liberace wouldn't be seen dead in.'_

* * *

"Hey sweet cheeks calm down," the demon greeted Xander cheerfully, "nothing's going to happen to you in here."

"I happen to be the major food group of most of the demons in here!" Xander hissed, wondering what the demon was trying to pull.

"You're right," he admitted easily, "but in here that isn't something you have to worry about. I have the most powerful no-violence spells available in this place; anyone or anything that starts something in here will have the biggest headache of their lives for weeks."

"I take it that you own this place?" he asked.

"You're quick on the uptake sweet cheeks, I'm the Host, but you can call me Lorne."

* * *

'_Lorne extended his hand to me and, after a moment's hesitation, I decided to take it. Even though he was a demon, I didn't have the same feeling of mistrust from him that I would normally get when I'm around a demon. Normally I'd feel uneasy even if I knew for certain that they were friendly, to humans anyway, but with Lorne I felt nothing like that._

_My instincts on this sort of thing were generally on the ball, so I had decided to trust them, hoping that they, or Lorne, wouldn't but me in the ass for it.'_

* * *

"It's nice to meet you Lorne," Xander told him, finding that he was being honest, "I'm Xander." 

"Well, Xander, what brings you to my humble little bar? It isn't often that we get humans in here; the masking spells I've got on this place make it almost impossible for humans to know it even exists."

"Yeah, well, living on the Hellmouth all my life has ensured that I'm not your normal human. I know what you mean though; when I first walked by all I could see was a vacant lot, but then I had this sudden compulsion to walk into it, and that's when I saw the bar and came inside."

"Ah, in that case it seems you have need of my assistance. What would you like to sing?" he asked.

"Huh? Why the hell would I want to sing?" he asked, completely confused.

"Here's the 411; I'm an Anagogic Demon, which means that I can read people's destinies. The trouble is I can only do this when they sing, hence my asking you what you'd like to sing."

"I'm not really sure I want to sing, not only because I really can't sing, but I don't like the thought of knowing my destiny. Destiny sucks, dragging you down into the dirt with no hope of escape."

"Xander, you came in here for a reason; you wouldn't have been able to find this place if you didn't. Whether it's to know your destiny or not, well, I won't be able to tell you **that** until I actually read you."

* * *

'_As soon as he said that, I knew he was right._

_I **had** been looking for something, something I thought I had finally found, but had lost again._

_I had to know if I would find it, and this time hopefully keep it at least long enough to savour it.'_

* * *

"Fine," Xander said with a sigh, "I'll sing for you, but **I** get to choose the song." 

"Sure thing sweet cheeks."

"One more thing, don't call me sweet cheeks," asked him, his tone telling Lorne that it wasn't entirely a suggestion. "The name's Xander."

Xander then walked on stage and after searching for a few minutes, selected the song he'd sing. When his cue arrived, Xander started to sing.

We're caught in a trap  
I can't walk out  
Because I love you too much baby

Why can't you see  
What you're doing to me  
When you don't believe a word I say?

We can't go on together  
With suspicious minds  
And we can't build our dreams  
On suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know  
Drops by to say hello  
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

Here we go again  
Asking where I've been  
You can't see these tears are real  
I'm crying

We can't go on together  
With suspicious minds  
And we can't build our dreams  
On suspicious minds

Oh let our love survive  
Or dry the tears from your eyes  
Let's not let a good thing die  
When honey, you know  
I've never lied to you

Mmm yeah, yeah

When Xander finished and made his way back towards Lorne, he was surprised when he received a round of applause; he guessed that while he wasn't that good in human terms, he was a lot better in demon terms.

When he sat down next to Lorne, who had moved to the bar during his song, the demon indicated he wait while he downed a very large and, from the smell of it, very potent drink.

"Well?" Xander asked after a moment, wanting to get it out of the way.

"Gimme a minute swee…" Lorne trailed off as he saw the glint in Xander's eyes, "Xander, reading you was most definitely a very painful experience. I'm telling you, I have seen some **doozy's** in my time, but that takes the biscuit."

"You're not exactly making me feel more relaxed over this whole destiny thing you know?"

"Sorry," he apologised, "it's just taking a while for my mind to figure everything out. First of all, you have no destiny."

"Huh?"

"Almost everyone I read has a destiny of some sort; anything from owning a restaurant or dying in an attempt to destroy, or save, the world. Very rarely, however, do I meet someone who has no written destiny, and you are one of these people. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and in your case, in fact given what you do for a living it's probably a very good thing, as I could feel your disdain for destiny even if you hadn't already voiced it."

"Is that it? All you could see was that there was nothing to see? How could not seeing anything hurt so much? I can't believe this!" he hissed, feeling frustrated that he'd gone through that for nothing.

"No!" Lorne denied instantly. "Destinies aren't the only thing that I can see when I read someone. Other things that I see are to do with the heart, and I know that is what you really want to know about isn't it? As for how it hurt so much, imagine getting the equivalent of white noise being directly inserted into your brain."

"I can see how that would hurt," Xander agreed. "You're right that there's a question that has been bugging me, but I both do and don't want to know. This question has been the most important one in my life, but to receive the wrong answer would, almost literally, destroy me. I've come too close now for me to be left unscathed. Screw it; I have to know either way, no matter the cost to my sanity."

"OK I'll tell you what I can…"

"What you can! Are you trying to drive me insane!?"

"Are you going to shut up long enough for me to tell you?"

"Sorry," Xander replied with a sigh, "please, continue."

"She still loves Angel…"

"Just fucking great! I finally get close to her, she finally starts to see me as more than her Xander-shaped-friend, and a few minutes around Captain Forehead and it all gets blown out of the water!" Xander ranted, his arms gesturing so wildly that the people nearby start to move away.

"XANDER!" Lorne yelled.

"Yes?"

"I hadn't finished; interrupt me again, and I will have all of my non-violence spells removed and I'll let the demons rip you to shreds, understand?" he told him, his red eyes glowing slightly.

"Understood 100," Xander replied immediately.

"Good. As I was saying, she still loves Angel, **but** she's no longer **in** love with him. He was her first love, so there will always be a place in her heart for him, but he's no longer the main occupant. You now fill that position. The problem she's facing at the moment is that she's remembering how she felt for Angel and mistaking that for actual feelings. Once she works that out, she'll realise who it is she really loves."

"I really messed up leaving like that didn't I?" Xander asked softly.

"It hasn't exactly helped matters," Lorne told him gently, "she's in a very confused place right now and she needs your love and support now more than ever."

"I better get back; she doesn't need to be worrying about me as well as Deadboy. Thanks for everything Lorne."

"The pleasure was all mine," He told him happily, "as is the splitting headache."

"I'll see you around Lorne."

"Of that I have no doubt."

* * *

_'I left the bar feeling a lot happier than when I went in, and I hadn't even had a drink. As I walked out onto the curb, I suddenly realised that I hadn't the faintest idea where in the hell I was._

_How the hell was I going to fix things with Buffy and get my happy ending if I didn't even know how to __**get**__ there?'_

* * *

"Hey sweet cheeks," Lorne called out to him, "I called you a cab; it'll be here in a few minutes." 

"Thanks Lorne," Xander replied gratefully.

* * *

'_I decided to let the sweet cheeks remark slide; he did call me a cab after all. After waiting about ten minutes the cab arrived, and I made my way back to Angel Investigations._

_As soon as I walked through the door, I got belted by a very angry looking Buffy.'_

* * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Buffy demanded. 

"I needed to take a walk to clear the air," Xander replied, rubbing his cheek where she'd hit him.

"Was that air in a bar? There's no point trying to deny it," she went on when Xander opened his mouth, "I can smell it on you."

"I give you my word that I have not had a drop of alcohol the entire time we have been in LA," he vowed, and was glad to see that his word still meant something to her as she nodded.

"OK, if you weren't drinking, what **were** you doing?" she asked, her ire cooling somewhat.

"As I said; I went for a walk and found myself outside this bar. I had an impulse to go inside and followed it. The owner and I had a talk, and I then came back here. I'm sorry for walking out like that; I should have spoken to you first."

* * *

_'I was going to ask if we could have a quiet word, with the hope that we'd be able to resolve a few things, when suddenly someone with a blanket over their head came running in._

_I could tell that both Buffy and Cordelia had hoped that it was Angel getting back from wherever it was he'd been, but they were disappointed when they noticed that they were far too small to be Angel, which meant that for whatever reason, another vampire had decided to venture out in the daytime to see them._

_Once the vampire reached the shadows of the office, they removed the blanket to reveal that they were in fact Harmony, which in my mind explained the the idiocy of walking around in sunlight, especially when her last boyfriend turned into Kentucky Fried Spike.'_

* * *

"Sometimes being a vampire sucks," Harmony moaned as she patted down her smoking jacket, the comment causing Xander to force back a laugh despite the situation, "I was never this sensitive to sunlight before!" 

Even through his laughter, Xander surged forward and grabbed Harmony by the jacket and threw her up against the nearest wall, pinning her against it with a stake pressed right against her chest so hard it broke the skin. "Harmony you bitch, give me one good reason not to stake your ass right now!" he hissed, pressing the stake a little harder.

"I know where Angel is," she replied immediately, her eyes wide with fear. She thought that being a vampire would be fun, once she got over the whole, never being able to look at herself in the mirror thing, but to suddenly be afraid of Xander 'loser' Harris was **not** in her game plan.

Xander hesitated for a moment before pushing her to the floor. He wanted to kill her for what she did to him during his time in that basement, but knew that if he did it now, neither Buffy nor Cordelia would ever speak to him again. "Talk fast."

"It's like this; you have something I want, I have something you want." She throws a piece of paper at Xander. "You have 24 hours to contact me on that number saying that you'll give me the ring. If you don't ring, Angel dies."

Before anyone had a chance to stop her, Harmony grabbed her blanket from the floor and ran out of the office as fast as she could.

"Buffy, didn't Angel say that he was going to find somewhere to stash the ring when he went out last night?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, he did," she replied, not realising that

"The fact that she's asking for the ring tells us that Angel didn't have it on him when they grabbed him," he told them, "which means that he already hid it somewhere. The problem we have is that we haven't the faintest idea where that is, but it does mean that they'll keep him alive, at least long enough to try and get the info out of him. Cordelia, you better call Doyle and let him know what's going on. Where's Faith?" he asked.

"Downstairs; we were slowly getting on each others nerves, although we weren't actually doing anything. I guess your theory about Slayers are right," Buffy told him distractedly, her attention focussed on saving Angel, as always.

"Seems that way," he said with a sigh, "I'll go down and see how she's holding up."

* * *

_'Once again I'm feeling like the Xander-shaped-friend I was a few weeks ago, instead of the boyfriend I supposedly am today. Not wanting to get into it, as I wasn't entirely sure how I wanted it to go, did as I said I would and walked downstairs and looked around for Faith._

_She was in the training room beating seven shades of shit out of the punching bag that was there, and it didn't look like it would last much longer. The only difference between it and me was that it didn't feel the punches being thrown.'_

* * *

"And what did that poor defenceless bag do to you?" Xander asked her. 

"It looked at me funny," Faith replied straight faced. "I can't let things like that go; where would it end?"

"Let me take a wild stab in the dark and say that you're feeling a little cooped up?"

"I don't know how I fucking allowed myself to be persuaded by you to come here," she growled as she continued to hit the bag, her punches getting faster and harder with each passing second. "I should just make a run for it; Buffy and I can't even stay in the same **room** for more than a few minutes before we feel like beating the shit out of each other, Cordelia can't say a single sentence to me without having an insult in there somewhere, and Fang isn't even fucking **here**!"

"I'm going to try to answer those questions in order; there is no way I could have persuaded you to do anything without you actually wanting to do it in the first place. Buffy and I both now agree that it's the Slayer part of you that's causing the conflict, I know that it doesn't really help matters, but at least you know that it isn't Buffy that wants to kick the shit out of you, just the Slayer part of her. Cordelia couldn't say an insult free sentence if her **life** depended on it, so again at least you know that it isn't you. Angel isn't here because that bitch Harmony kidnapped him, once again meaning that it isn't your fault. Are you seeing a pattern emerging here?"

"Nope."

"Faith, do you want to do this?" he asked her seriously. "Don't think about what I, or anybody else, want, just think about whatever it is that **you** want."

"I want to be able to make a difference," she told him eventually, "and I have the best chance of doing that here. I'm just starting to go a little stir crazy is all."

"Don't worry; it won't be long before you're patrolling the mean streets of LA, killing all demons in your path, well, all the **evil** ones at least."

"You say the nicest things," she said with a small smile.

"I try. Are you going to be OK?" he asked.

"I'll be fine; the sooner we have this shit cleaned up, the sooner I'll be kicking ass and taking names. I might even get laid as well."

"Of that I have no doubt," he told her before he could engage his mental filter.

"Are you saying that I could have any man I want?" she asked him huskily.

There is no way that Xander could have missed the flirtatious tone in her voice, but decided to at least try to ignore it. "I'm pleading the fifth on this one."

"You can plead to me all you like," she told him with a smile.

"Doyle will be here soon," he told her, deciding that the best way to get out of the conversation was to just change topics completely, "so we can work out how to find this ring and get Angel back."

"I'll be up in a few; the punch bag is still attached."

* * *

_'I decided to leave Faith alone to finish destroying the punching bag in peace, and went back upstairs._

_Cordelia and Buffy were talking about something or other but I wasn't really that interested in joining in the conversation; all I wanted was to find Angel so I could get the hell out of LA and back to Sunnydale so I could get on with my life; whether Buffy would be a part of that life I still wasn't sure._

_A few minutes later Doyle arrived, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we could finally get this show on the road.'_

* * *

"So what's the situation princess?" Doyle asked. 

"Angel's been kidnapped, they want the ring in exchange for his release," Cordelia replied. "The problem is we don't have the ring, as Angel was the one to hide it."

"So what are we going to do about it?" he asked.

"Knock every building down until we find it of course," Faith suggested as she walked up the stairs. It wasn't exactly the most efficient way of doing things, but it did sound like a lot of fun.

"The best that I can think of is that we split up into teams; Myself and Doyle and Buffy and Cordy."

"What about me?" Faith demanded.

"I was thinking that you would like to make your presence felt in the local neighbourhood more than traipsing around the city looking for a ring, and nothing does that like killing vampires."

"I definitely like this plan," Faith exclaimed with a smile, "I'm just itching to dust some bloodsuckers. By the way X, you do remember how I get after patrol don't you?"

"I'll bring back some take out," he promised, knowing what she was really talking about, but deciding to ignore it.

"I wasn't talking about that," she whispered into his ear as she walked past, and Xander felt some small amount of pleasure at the flash of jealousy that crossed Buffy's face. He knew it was petty, but it had pretty much been the only sign that she still thought of him that way.

"Why should we go with your lame ass plan?" Cordelia asked snippily.

"Well Cordy unless one of you have a better one…" Her silence, along with everyone else's gave Xander his answer.

"Why can't the princess and me join up?"

"You two have lived here the longest," Xander told him, "and will probably know more of Angel's hangouts than us."

* * *

'_Doyle said nothing more, as he knew I was right, but I could tell that he didn't like it. It was obvious why; he had a thing for Cordelia, and just wanted to spend some alone time with her, probably to try and work up the courage to actually ask her out._

_I couldn't really blame him, as there was a time when I felt the same, although it had been nowhere near what I feel for Buffy. I might even try to give him a few pointers, but the mission came first, and I knew his focus would be split if her paired with Cordelia._

_We decided to wait until sundown before we headed out, which allowed us time to work out which areas we would each be checking, and also to sort out the weapons we would be taking with us._

_As soon as the sun descended below the horizon we left the office; Cordelia and Buffy going west, Doyle and myself taking east, while Faith did a patrol of the local area and make sure that the demonic population of LA found out that a Slayer was in town._

_Doyle and I walked in complete silence for a few blocks, as neither one of us really knew what to say to each other. The only thing we had in common was Cordelia, and that they were fighting the good fight._

_There was one thing that I wanted to discuss with him, but I didn't quite know how to bring it up, so I decided to just come right out with it.'_

* * *

"So you're half-demon?" Xander asked Doyle, which caused him to stumble a couple of steps in surprise. 

"How did you find out?" Doyle asked in a shocked voice after a few moments, deciding that it was useless to deny it.

"You sneezed a while back and switched faces for a moment before changing back. I'm guessing you only recently found out, otherwise you'd have gotten that under control."

"I didn't even know until a couple of years ago. It was a shock I can tell you," he told him, stating the obvious.

"I'll bet. Do you know what type you are?"

"Yeah, I'm a Brachen demon"

"Non-violent, good trackers," Xander said immediately, earning him another look of shock from his travelling companion. "Giles insisted that I learn as much about demonology as possible; 'knowledge is power' and all that jazz."

"Are you going to tell Cordelia or the others," Daoyle asked after a minute or two of silence, Xander allowing him time to adjust.

"That means that she doesn't know," Xander said, figuring out what had been bothering him since he realised Doyle hasn't human, at least fully. Cordelia would have been making jokes about his skin colour or spikes had she known. "I'm guessing that Angel knows," he went on, "as his senses are sharper. You do realise that, if you want to have a relationship with her, she needs to know; this sort of thing always comes out in the end, and if it comes out the wrong way it won't do you any favours."

"I know that, I just want to be the one to tell her," Doyle said, his tone taking on a slightly pleading lilt.

"You have my word that I won't tell her," Xander vowed, "unless it's necessary," he added. "Another promise I'll make to you is that, if you hurt her, I promise I'll leave no stone unturned until I find and kill you in the most painful way possible."

"You have no right to tell anyone not to hurt her," Doyle snapped, indicating his infidelity.

"I know that," Xander admitted, "but the promise still stands. She's still one of my friends, and I am **extremely** protective towards my friends; ask Angel if you don't believe me. Now that the unpleasantness is out of the way, I'll give you a few tips; her favourite colour is blue, her favourite ice cream is cookie dough, her favourite film is Pretty Woman, and her favourite singer is Whitney Houston."

"Why are you telling me this?" Doyle asked him, completely confused.

"Cordelia deserves to be happy, and you have as good a chance as anyone. There's also the fact that I know you will do your best to keep her safe in the world she's decided to live in," Xander explained.

"If you know all that, why did you just threaten me?"

"I didn't threaten you; I made you a promise, one I will make to anyone who decides to date one of my friends. I find it easier to state things from the beginning, as it saves misunderstandings later on."

"You're a very strange man Xander," Doyle commented with a shake of his head.

"Aren't we all? Now that's out of the way, why don't you let your demon side out so you can track where Angel has been?"

Doyle did as Xander suggested and reverted to his demon form. Xander had to admit that he didn't look all that bad that way; he may be green and spiky and look like an extra from Hellraiser, but he'd seen far worse and so had Cordelia, so it shouldn't prove to be too big a stumbling block.

"He was in this area last night," Doyle said after a few moments, "his scent trail leads to the sewers."

"Sewers, it had to be the sewers didn't it?" Xander said with a groan. "Will you be able to track down there with all the other smells down there?"

"I guess we'll find out won't we?"

* * *

'_Two hours later and we were still dredging through the sewers looking for that blasted ring. I thought that the sewers in Sunnydale were bad, but they were nothing compared to these!'_

* * *

"We're getting close," Doyle told him. 

"You've said that four times in the last hour," Xander replied.

"Well this time I mean it."

"You've said that three times in the last hour."

"Over there!" Doyle shouted, pointing to a broken piece of sewer wall.

They both went over to it and after turning it over found the ring.

"At last we can get out of this damn sewer," Xander sighed, "I doubt I'll ever get this smell off me."

"You have nothing to complain about; you only have a normal sense of smell. I'll be smelling this shit until I'm in my forties," Doyle complained.

"OK you win; let's just get the hell out of here."

"No need to tell me twice."

* * *

'_We made our way out of the sewers, and after finding somewhere to wash the majority of the gunk and slime he'd accumulated so we could walk around without drawing too much attention, we made our way back to the office._

_When we got there, Buffy and Cordelia were already back, but there was no sign of Faith. As soon as we walked through the doors, all they were interested in was whether we'd found the ring or not. I could understand that they were worried for Angel, even I wondered how he was faring, but I was starting to get tired of them acting like it was the most important thing in the world, and that fact that I'd been demoted to second class citizen again in Buffy's eyes._

_I know I keep coming off as whiny and selfish, thinking about myself when Angel was in trouble, but I wasn't asking to be the centre of her attention, all I wanted was to just register on her radar as something other than superfluous._

_Anyway, when we responded that we'd found it, they both heaved a sigh of relief, and then by mutual agreement Cordelia was the one to make the call, as vampire or not, she knew Harmony better than anyone._

_Neither Buffy nor myself really seemed want to talk to the other, and Doyle didn't know either of us enough to make idle conversation. We all breathed a sigh of relief when Faith burst through the doors with a very contented smile on her face.'_

* * *

"Oh yeah being a Slayer rocks!" Faith exclaimed happily, punching her fist in the air for further emphasis. 

"I take it that your patrol went well?" Xander asked, pleased to see her looking happier, even if it did take generous amounts of violence to accomplish.

"You bet your **ass** it did! I thought that Sunnyhell had a lot of vamps, but LA beats it hands down! I must have dusted twenty easy!"

Xander could tell that the confinement that they had imposed on her in Sunnydale had taken more of a toll than he'd first thought, as he didn't think he'd seen her this happy in a long while. Again, he thought it had to do with the Slayer part of her needing to perform its calling, and that its restlessness had only augmented her own feelings of captivity.

"I'm afraid that we weren't really near any restaurants," Xander told her, remembering that he said he'd get her some food while they were out, "but I'm sure we can order you something…"

"No sweat X; I had a bite to eat on the way back, although you can help me with the other if you like," she suggested.

Xander wasn't sure he'd ever seen her do it before, but Faith practically glided towards him with the most seductive look on her face that if he had been a year younger would have made his knees turn to jelly and completely fry his vocal chords.

This isn't a year ago though.

"I'll take a rain check on that," he told her with a small smile.

Xander received a very dirty look from Buffy, probably from the fact that he hadn't outright turned her down, but with the way she'd been acting Xander wasn't feeling terribly sorry about it.

"I'll keep you to that," Faith assured him.

"I'm sure that you will," he replied.

Any further conversation was interrupted by Cordelia coming back into the room. "I just came off the phone and they've set up a meeting at a warehouse at 13th and Madison tomorrow at 10 AM."

"Right, which gives us a few hours to work out a plan to get Angel back **and** keep the ring. There's no way we can allow that ring to fall into the wrong hands; we got lucky with Spike we don't want to push it."

"If the only way to get Angel back is to give that bitch the ring we will," Cordelia told him stubbornly, Buffy nodding her head in agreement.

* * *

'_Buffy and Cordelia are two of the most stubborn women I know, and I know a lot of stubborn women. Knowing that this is a fight I won't win, I don't even bother trying. If they want to give Harmony or some other vampire the power to be immune to stakes fire and sunlight, they can go right ahead and to hell with everything. I just didn't care anymore._

_Needing some time to myself, I left the others where they were and went downstairs. I quickly discovered Angel's drinks cabinet, and I found myself a nice scotch and poured myself a large glass and downed it in one._

_Living with alcoholics for parents meant that I'd had access to hard liquor from a very young age, with sometimes having nothing else in the house to drink, and over the years had developed a high tolerance for the stuff, although part of it could be a genetic trait, as alcoholism was a Harris family tradition going back several generations._

_After several more large glasses, I had a nice warm sensation flowing through my veins, and my earlier problems begin to melt away. I wasn't drunk yet, or even close, but I had a nice buzz going and had no intention of stopping. I knew it wasn't the most productive way to deal with everything, but I couldn't think of a single reason why I should do any different._

_I don't know how long it is I was down there on my own, but after a while I saw Faith coming into the room.'_

* * *

"Enjoying yourself there X?" Faith asked, eyeing the glass and half empty bottle. 

"Absolutely; Angel has a wonderful selection of spirits."

Faith walked up and took the glass out of his hand and downed the liquid inside.

"You're right there," she said, her voice sounding wheezy for a moment as a side effect of the alcohol, "this isn't the cheap shit you'd find in the local store. What made you decide to drink tonight then?" she asked, knowing by the amount she guessed he'd already imbibed that it wasn't the first time he'd done so.

"I'm celebrating the Fonz's half birthday," he told her.

"Huh?"

"No one remembers the classics," Xander sighed.

* * *

'_Grabbing another glass, I filled it and Faith's with another large measure and once again drained the glass in a single motion. I know that many would think that taking it straight from the bottle would be easier with the speed I was drinking, but that was the way my father drank it and even though I was acting like him, I at least wanted to do it with a little bit of decorum._

_Faith also drained her glass, although not with quite the same speed, and then came up to me, sat on my lap and began to kiss me. She never had been backward in coming forward, but I hadn't been expecting that and it took me a couple of seconds to realise what was going on and when I did I pushed her gently but firmly off of me.'_

* * *

"What are you doing Faith?" Xander asked angrily. 

"I would think that was obvious," Faith replied with a smile as she tried to resume sticking her tongue down his throat, Xander again pushing her away.

"I'm sorry if I've led you on, but I just want us to be friends Faith, nothing more," he told her gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings but needing her to know where they stood. "There's only one Slayer that I'm in love with, and she's not you."

Xander hadn't seen her hand move, but he certainly felt it when it impacted against his cheek. A slap from a normal girl stings, a slap from a Slayer hurts like hell.

"What is your precious Buffy going to say when I tell her that you came onto me and wouldn't take no for an answer?" she threatened, hoping to turn things her way.

"She'll say that you're talking out of your ass."

Neither one had realised that Buffy was standing in the doorway.

"Screw this, I'm out of here." Faith pushed her way past Buffy, who went to chase after her.

"Don't Buff, she's not used to being turned down" he told her with a sigh. "She meant nothing by it she was just venting."

"I would say kissing my boyfriend is more than just venting," she snapped.

"Is that what I still am?" he asked with a sad smile on his face. "Since we've arrived in LA I've had the distinct impression that I'd been downgraded to acquaintance."

"What do you mean?"

"From the moment you laid eyes on tall dark and broody, I've been nothing more than part of the background to you."

She opened her mouth to deny it but stopped herself, realising that Xander wasn't actually lying as she reviewed the last couple of days.

"I've been rather confused since I've been here I must admit. Seeing him again brought back a lot of feelings that I thought had gone, and I'm sorry if that's affected the way I've been treating you."

"I should have known better than to get my hopes up really," Xander said as he got up from the chair and moved to the far corner of the room, "the thought that I'd finally made my way into your heart was just too tempting."

"What are you on about?" she asked in confusion, and a little fear.

"Angel left because he said you deserved someone that could walk in the sunshine with you; that ring will allow him to do just that."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you and that I want you to be happy; I know that Angel can do that. I won't stand in the way."

"You really would do that wouldn't you?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"Of course," he whispered, turning away from her, "you're Buffy."

* * *

'_Despite all of my moaning and complaining, I had forgotten the most important thing of all; I loved her._

_I didn't want to possess her, I just wanted to love her and make her happy, and if I wasn't the one who could do that, then it wasn't my place to stand in the way of her finding that happiness._

_I know that sounds noble, but it isn't, not really. I wouldn't get anything by trying to force the issue, except perhaps more pain and the loss of her from my life completely, and I'd rather die than let that happen._

_She walked over to me, turned me around to face her, and then pulled me down and kissed me with a passion I never thought possible before that moment.'_

* * *

"I love you," Buffy declared as they broke apart, her eyes shining even in the dark. "As I said before, a lot of feelings that I'd felt for Angel did come back, but they are all in the past. You are my future, Xander Harris, and don't you **ever** doubt that, even if you are starting to smell like a brewery," she added as she smacked her lips from the taste of the scotch. 

Xander's smile was brighter than the sun. "I'll do my best," he vowed, "but I will always wonder what I have done to deserve you."

"Some people are just lucky I guess."

* * *

'_We stayed in that position for a while, alternating between kissing lightly and as if our lives depended on it. She soon noticed that the sensations she was causing me to feel were have an effect, as my trousers began to bulge from my growing erection._

_She started to rub herself against me, causing my erection to increase. I picked her up, her legs wrapping around me, and I span round and trapped her between me and the wall. She ground herself against me harder, and I started to grind back, causing delicious friction between us._

_She began to moan in pleasure, quietly at first, but soon her moans began to increase in volume, which caused her to speed up her movements. My own increased to match, and soon we were almost in a frenzy of movement, and the only way it could have felt better was if our clothing were out of the way._

_I did know that if we kept this up for too much longer, I was going to lose what little self control I had left and be in a dire need for clean underwear.'_

* * *

"Are you two coming or what?" Cordelia called down the stairs. 

"More than you know," Xander commented softly into Buffy's ear, the comment causing her to laugh, not to mention bringing them back to their senses.

"Yeah Cordy," Buffy replied a little breathlessly, "we'll be up in a minute."

Buffy and Xander released each other, and both had the same feeling of loss, even though they were still in the same room.

"We got a bit carried away there didn't we?" Buff commented after a few moments.

"Not half as much as I wanted to Buff," Xander replied huskily, "not by a long way."

Her eyes darkened a little at that before she closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. "I still want to take it slow Xander."

"I know and I understand that," he assured her, not wanting her to think he was pressuring her in any way, "I just want you to know that I'll be **more** than ready when you want to take the next step."

"I am **well** aware of that," she whispered, remembering how he'd felt against her, "I just want to make sure that when we take that next step, we're both ready for it."

"I need to know Buff, if Cordy hadn't shouted down…"

"I would be screaming your name to the heavens by now," she told him seriously, cutting in.

"Remind me to kill her when we go up," he groaned sullenly, causing Buffy to laugh even as she agreed with him.

As they went upstairs hand in hand, Cordelia looked at them strangely.

"What did you guys do to Faith," she asked, "she ran out of here like a bat out of hell."

"She asked for something she couldn't have and didn't like it," Buffy told her before Xander could say anything. "Don't worry; she'll be back in time to help. Have you two worked out anything for a plan?"

Doyle and Cordelia looked at each other for a second.

"We have," Doyle replied, "but it might be a little risky…"

* * *

'_Cordelia, Buffy and I arrived at the warehouse a little before ten. We were all thinking that this smelled like a trap, in fact we **knew** that it was a trap, but we had no other choice._

_At least by knowing it was a trap, we could prepare ourselves accordingly, and I was sure that Harmony and the rest would be in for a little surprise._

_After a brief game of rock, paper, scissors, it was decided that I'd be the spokesperson for this little rendezvous, so I walked up to the warehouse and knocked on the door, and after a moment a small slot opened._

* * *

"Who is it?" a burly voice called out from the other side of the door. 

"The Avon lady, who do you think it is?" Xander snapped, earning himself two elbows to the ribs from Buffy and Cordelia. "Listen, we're here to see Harmony."

* * *

'_There was a moment of silence before the sounds of a couple of bolts being undone were heard and the door swung open._

_My first instinct was to let Buffy and Cordelia through first, but quickly realised that chivalry really wasn't suitable for this situation, so instead I made my way inside first, quickly followed by the girls._

_The warehouse was sparse, except for several boxes around the perimeter of the walls. I could see how they'd been able to shield themselves from the sunlight by the pain that had been splashed on the windows, and that the vamp that had opened the door had been covered head to toe in thick black leather, topped off with a motorcycle helmet. They'd watched Blade a few too many time it looked like._

_Cordelia and Buffy took their places beside me and Cordelia jumped as the door was slammed shut behind us. As we all became more adjusted to the darkness of the warehouse, Cordelia gasped in shock as she saw Angel in the middle of the warehouse. _

_Angel had definitely seen better days, no pun intended. On top of the fact that he was suspended by his wrists in the middle of the warehouse by chains like a marionette, he had lacerations and bruises covering his torso, not to mention that he had several spikes protruding from his body. It looks like they'd been using him as a dartboard.'_

* * *

"Angel!" Cordelia shouted. 

Angel looked up groggily and his eyes widened as he saw Cordelia.

"Cordelia?"

"Do you have the ring?" Harmony asked, cutting in.

She had come out from wherever her hiding place had been and was trying, and failing miserably, to look menacing.

"Yes we do," Xander told her, ignoring the urge to turn her into a vampire pretzel. "You let Angel down and Buffy and Cordelia takes him out of here; I give you the ring and everybody's happy," he suggested, knowing what the answer would be.

"What makes you think that we'll be letting you go?" she replied with a smile as she shifted to her game face.

With that statement, around three dozen vampires appeared from the shadows, quickly surrounding the trio. There was one vampire who looked more refined than the rest, and he came forward to speak.

"That will be quite enough Harmony," he told her. Harmony quickly looked down and then took several steps behind him. "My name is Marcus, and I will be your host for the rest of your, short, lives. You have already seen my handiwork on your friend Angel there, and I know I'm going to enjoy torturing you in much the same way. I must ask you; what do you want?"

"For all vampires everywhere to spontaneously combust," Xander replied immediately. "By the way, I thought that Harmony was in charge?"

"I thought that you would be more willing to… cooperate, if you were dealing with a familiar face. I became the leader of this merry little band after the untimely demise of Spike, which reminds me; I must give my thanks for facilitating my unexpected rise in ranks."

"Seeing Spike turn to dust was a pleasure to behold I must admit," Buffy told him with a smile, "just as watching you all turn to dust will be."

"Don't you think that you're a little outnumbered?" His smile was so cocky in nature that Xander just wanted to run over and swipe it off his face.

A screech of tires is heard a second before a van comes crashing in through the front of the warehouse. "Not anymore," Xander shouted.

* * *

'_Doyle and Faith burst out of the van, tossing us all weapons, and we prepared for battle._

_Seeing that the odds were against us, and not wanting to further the chance of Cordelia being injured, Doyle decided to shift into his demon form, causing a gasp from the girls, apart from Faith who I guessed had already figured it out._

_Deciding not to wait for them to make the first move, I charged the vamps head on, decapitating one whilst shoulder blocking another. The problem I had was that I hadn't fully healed over the beatings I had taken from Spike and the others. I had done whatever I could to hide just how hurt I really was from the others, for fear that they would try to keep me out of the fight again, something that I wouldn't have been able to survive again._

_I had managed to dodge or parry several blows that came my way, but once I got hit, every injury that had been inflicted on me over the past week all suddenly began to hurt at once._

_I collapsed to my knees and was barely able to defend myself from the onslaught of punches and kicks that came my way, especially after I lost my weapon. I thought that I was a goner when the blows suddenly stopped and I was showered in dust._

_I looked up to see both Faith's and Buffy's concerned faces looking down at me.'_

* * *

"Are you alright?" they both asked at the same time. 

"I will be once I've taken a few dozen Advil," Xander told them weakly. "Did we get them all?"

"Harmony and that Marcus prick managed to skulk off, but all the others are dusted."

With two Slayers and a Brachen demon on their side, Xander hadn't expected the fight to take long, although he had assumed that he'd more active role in the fight.

"Cool, if you would be so kind as to wake me when the world stops spinning…"

* * *

'_The last thing I heard was Buffy shouting my name in panic before everything went black._

_When I woke up, I found myself on the couch in Angel's office, with a head of blonde hair resting on my chest. I tried not to wake her, but her Slayer senses must have felt me move.'_

* * *

"Xander?" Buffy said sleepily. 

"I was the last time I checked," Xander replied softly with a smile.

In a blur of movement, Buffy descends upon Xander's lips, kissing him with fevered abandon, and only released him when breathing became a necessity.

"You really worried me Xander," she told him shakily, "why didn't you tell me you were hurt so badly?"

"I didn't want you to keep me from helping, to keep me fray-adjacent' again." Xander couldn't help but add a little bitterness into his tone; the memories of that time were still raw. "How's Angel?" he asked, wondering where in the hell that came from.

"About the same state as you are, although with his vampiric healing he'll be up and about in no time."

"Some people have all the luck," he groused as he felt a twinge of pain.

"I thought I was going to lose you Xand," Buffy whispered, "and that terrified me more than I care to admit."

Tears that had been threatening to fall from the moment he woke up took that moment to do just that, and Xander pulled the sobbing blonde into a hug, trying valiantly to hide the pain that lanced through his body as he did so.

"I'm sorry that I worried you," he whispered into her hair, "and I promise to be more honest about my injuries from now on, as long as you do the same," he added, knowing that she would often downplay just how injured she was after a patrol to stop him and the others from worrying too much.

"It's a deal," she told him. "Faith did really well today; she caught one vamp that was coming at me from behind before it had a chance to jump me." Xander knew that it must be hard for her to say that, and it warms his heart that she was saying it for his benefit. "I'm still not entirely convinced that I'll be able to trust her again, but I think that she can do a lot of good here."

"You and me both," he agreed. "Has Angel made any decisions on what he wants to do with the ring?"

"He's decided to destroy it; he says that it's just too risky to keep it around, as every vamp on the continent will have heard that it exists by now and will be gunning for him and the others to get it."

"I hate to admit this, but I have to respect the fact he's putting their safety over his own well being. I don't think he would have been able to do that if he had stayed in the dale."

"I hate to admit it, but I agree with you." Xander couldn't help the look of surprise that appeared on his face. "The temptation to keep it so that we could be together would have been too much for him; the same as if you hadn't lied to me that night I sent him to hell, I wouldn't have been able to do what was necessary." Xander's look of surprise quickly turned into one of fear. "Angel was told during his time in hell about what you did to taunt him. Oh, I was mad at you when I found out what you had done; my first thought was that you did it purely out of jealousy. Angel however corrected me, saying that he would have killed me if I had held back, sending the entire world into hell."

"You have no idea how badly I felt when I did that Buffy, I was just so scared that if you knew, you would try to stall until it happened and die in the process. I honestly didn't that the curse would work; Willow had barely done any magic before that, not to mention the fact she had not long ago come out of a coma when she attempted it."

"I know why you did it and you were right to; I would have done anything to have gotten Angel back, even at risk to everyone on the planet. If I had the same decision to make again, I wouldn't have waited so long before confronting him."

"I know, and that's why if I had the decision to make again I would tell you the truth, but I honestly hope that neither of us has to find out. I forgot to ask; how are the others?"

Buffy knew that it was just an attempt by Xander to change the subject, but she didn't call him on it. "Both Doyle and Cordelia are fine, but she's having a hard time over the fact that he's half demon."

"Brachen's are peaceful types; he's no danger to any of us," he assured her.

"You knew didn't you?" she asked; her tone wasn't accusatory, just inquisitive.

"He has trouble keeping his human form when he sneezes," he replied with a nod. "I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone unless it became necessary. As for Cordy, she'll soon get over it. I mean if she can date me, she can date anybody."

"Hey! If you've forgotten **I'm** dating you now!"

"Ah yes, but **you're** the exception that proves the rule," he replied smoothly.

"That's alright then."

* * *

'_She kissed me again and then got off of me, leaving me feel suddenly colder._

_As she got to the door, Doyle came in and nodded to her in greeting. He was about to come in and see how I was, when he suddenly collapsed in pain._

_Although it hurt like hell to do so, I got up and checked on him. Before he fell into unconsciousness, I managed to hear two words.'_

* * *

"The Scourge," Doyle murmured before his eyes rolled up into his head and he passed out. 


	11. Chapter Ten

_**Chapter Ten**_

'_I managed to get Doyle up and decided that he should take my place on the couch, as although I wasn't exactly feeling in my prime, I was at least conscious._

_Cordelia came in and had a concerned look on her face; at least she was starting to get over the whole 'he's-half-demon' thing.'_

* * *

"What's with Doyle and the whole passing out in pain thing?" Xander asked as she knelt down beside Doyle.

"Dunno," Cordelia replied as she absently ran her fingers through his hair, "his visions never usually get this bad."

"Visions?"

"Yeah, he gets visions from the Powers That Be about wrongs that need to be righted. They normally give him a headache, but they've never made him pass out before," she explained.

"They've never been about The Scourge before," Doyle told them with a groan as he came to, holding his head in pain.

Cordelia suddenly realised what she was doing and rushed to get him a glass of water and a couple of aspirin to hide her embarrassment, although Xander caught the slight flush she had in her cheeks.

Having finally registered the word 'scourge', Xander had to ask the question. "We're not talking about The Scourge of Europe are we, because he's in the other room."

Buffy, who had just come back into the room with water and aspirin for Xander, gave him a look, but knew that it wasn't a dig at her ex, well, not completely anyway, as it did have to be asked.

"No, we're talking about the demon version of the Nazi party," Doyle explained. They're a group of pureblood demons that hate humans and half-breeds like myself. They believe in 'Ethnic Cleansing' and will die for the cause."

"Shit, there's nothing worse than fighting fanatics," Xander commented with a sigh. The others look at him a little strangely. "Soldier Guy's memories; he did a couple of tours in 'Nam and knows first hand how difficult it is to defeat an enemy who truly believe in what they're fighting for."

"Not difficult, impossible," Doyle informed them.

"Nothing's impossible," Xander replied firmly. "A couple of years ago I thought that the existence of vampires were impossible. A few weeks ago I thought that Buffy wanting to go out with me was impossible. A bunch of Hitler wannabes might be tough, but we'll deal with them like we do with everything else. Anyway, what else was in your vision?" he asked.

"I saw a group of demons cowering in a basement and a general location of where they were. Once we're in the general area, I should be able to track them."

"OK, what I suggest is that you and Faith go find these demons and check to see if they're alright," he suggested to Doyle, "while Buffy and I go meet someone I met during my road trip who might be able to help us against The Scourge. Cor, will you be alright here looking after Angel by yourself?" he asked.

Before she had a chance to answer, a voice from behind them started to speak. "If she isn't maybe I could help out?"

They all turned round and saw someone they never thought they'd see again, let alone **want** to see again.

"Wesley?" Xander asked, not quite believing what he was seeing.

The person that was standing before them looked like a completely different person to the Wesley they knew. Decked out in biker gear, a crossbow strapped to his back, with unkempt hair and several days worth of stubble all hid the former tweed wearing prick they all knew, well apart from Doyle that is, resided within. Only the accent gave it away.

"Yes Mr. Harris," Wesley replied, "it is me."

"I thought that you went back to the Council?"

"Actually, after everything that I experienced during my time on the Hellmouth, I realised that the Council's approach to things was out of date and decided to leave their employ. I'm now a rogue demon hunter."

"What's a rogue demon?" Cordelia asked, beating Xander by a fraction of a second.

"No, I mean I am a demon hunter that is not sanctioned by any official body."

"Ah. Not that we're not glad to see you, but what exactly are you doing here?"

"I was on my way through LA, when I remembered that Angel said that he was moving here. I thought that I would check in and see if there was anything that I could help him with."

"Wes, what do you know about The Scourge?" Xander asked. Seeing his face pale, even through the face fuzz, told them all everything they needed to know. "Could you see your way clear assist Cordelia research their methods and tactics? Forewarned is forearmed and all that."

"Of course," Wesley replied, while the others looked at Xander strangely due to his rather Watcher-like diction, "I'll do whatever I can."

Cordelia showed Wesley to where Angel kept his research materials.

"So Xand," Buffy began, "who's this person we're going to see?"

"As I said, just someone I met while I was here during my road trip," he told her, deliberately being cryptic. "He may have some people that can help us if things start to get out of hand."

"I feel that there's a story here."

"I'm sure that Gunn will be more than willing to tell you all the sordid details of my adventure here," he told her wryly.

"So there are sordid details?" The mischievous grin on her face was a sight to behold.

"No, but I'm sure Gunn will make some up. Come on, let's go while the getting's good." Xander got up a little too quickly, and staggered forwards a bit. Luckily, Buffy stabilised him before he could fall on his ass. "Thanks Buff."

"Think nothing of it."

"OK I won't," he replied with a smile, receiving a slap on the shoulder for his trouble.

* * *

'_We continued on our way to Gunn's, where I quickly decided against taking the car, as I'm not well enough to drive and there was no way I'm allowing Buffy to drive my car._

_I love her more than life itself, but Buffy's driving skills scare me more than any demon I've ever faced._

_I also thought that the walk would do me some good, or at least help stop my muscles from seizing up. We arrived at the building around about an hour later; it's by no means the nicest place to live, but it's better than some of the places I've seen._

_As we got closer, a couple of people come out to meet us, as they were probably trying to work out why the hell we were there.'_

* * *

"What the hell do you want white bread?" one of them asked.

"Tell Gunn that Harris is here," Xander told them, ignoring their attitude as he knew it was mostly for show. They must have recognised his name, as their posture suddenly became a lot less hostile.

"Be back in a minute man," the other man said, before they both went back inside.

"Xander, why are they acting like guards at an army barracks?" Buffy asked once they'd left.

"Because for all intents and purposes this place is an army barracks, it just isn't used by the military. This part of the city is notorious for its high vamp population; these guys are the ones that try to keep that population down. A word of advice Buff; these guys have become extremely paranoid and may not like your normal approach."

"What do you mean my normal approach?" she asked dangerously.

* * *

'_Danger Will Robinson! Buffy bomb armed and ready to blow!'_

* * *

"No offence Buff, but your normal approach in situations like this is to act like you're in charge and start to give orders. You're a stranger here and they have no idea about Slayers, apart from Gunn and Alonna that is. Not only will that not work, you'll also ensure that they won't give us any help. I'm not trying to be mean, but you do have a tendency to believe that, as the Slayer, you should be in charge all the time."

"You're right," Buffy admitted after a moment, "and I honestly don't know why I do it sometimes. I just feel that if I call the shots, no one else has to feel responsible if things go wrong."

* * *

'_Buffy bomb diffused; situation normal. For now at least._

_After a couple more minutes of waiting, I could see Gunn come out of the building with a few others flanking him. He came over and we performed a long and intricate handshake that he taught me when I was here last.'_

* * *

"Alex, how you doing bro?" Gunn asked.

"About the same as last time Gunn," Xander replied with a small smile.

"Shit, things can't be that bad can it?"

"Before I go any further, I'd like to introduce you to Buffy Summers. Buffy, I would like you to meet Charles Gunn."

"Call me Gunn," he told her, "everyone does. So, Alex, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" he asked him.

"Thought I'd give you a heads up that some major shit is going down soon with some major league demons called The Scourge. They hate anything that isn't pureblood demonic in nature, and prefer to use a scorched earth policy to get rid of anything that gets in their way."

"Do you think we'll meet under normal circumstances? Last time was bad enough…"

"We don't need to get into that Gunn," Xander told him quickly, a little too quickly for Buffy it seemed as she suddenly got a gleam in her eye.

"Gunn, Xander here hasn't told me what went down when he was here last time, but he said that you'd be more than willing to fill in the gaps," she told him with a smile.

Xander sent Gunn a warning glance, but he completely ignores it and him. "As Alex may have told you, we have a high vamp population in this part of LA, and we try our best to ensure that their numbers don't grow too high. They act like organised crime around and are very coordinated, more so than normal so Alex told us. We must have staked the wrong suck head one day, as they sent around thirty vamps at us, along with a few other types of demons that I had never even seen before. We managed to hold our own for a few minutes, but they soon started to overpower us. Then your boy shows up and saves all our asses by causing a distraction and allowing us to regroup. Afterwards he taught us a few tactics that work better on vamps than humans. He also clued us in on the different ways to kill them, my personal favourite is my super soaker filled with holy water. He was only with us for a few days, but without him most of us would be dead or turned now."

"Hey I didn't really do that much," Xander commented.

"Don't sell yourself short; we were unorganised and unprepared. Your ideas have helped us, not only kill a shit load more vamps, but also reduced the amount of casualties we incur. We owe you a lot."

"You owe me nothing; you and your crew help keep this neighbourhood safe, and that's all that matters."

"Whatever you say man, but if you need any help, we'll be there," Gunn vowed, the others nodding their heads in agreement.

"Thanks man; that means a lot. I will give you some warning, and this is something I told you last time; not all demons are evil and not all humans are good. We'll be protecting some refugee demons who only want to live peacefully, and a couple of the people on our team are demons themselves."

Xander remembered that Gunn's outlook was a lot like his had been when he was first introduced to the real world; humans good, demons bad. The problem with that philosophy was that the world didn't work that way; there was no such thing as black and white, only shades of grey.

"A lot has changed in the last year, Alex. We've changed our opinion on a lot of things, including demons. We leave the demons alone that do the same to us, and we've even helped out a few from time to time and vice versa."

"That's good to know. We're not sure what's going to happen, but it's always nice to have contingencies in place."

"Have you always been such a boy scout?" Gunn asked.

"Have you always been an annoying bastard?" Xander replied.

"I can definitely answer that in the positive," another voice said joining in the conversation. Xander looked behind Gunn and saw a familiar face.

"Alonna!" he exclaimed as he rushed over to her and then spun her around, receiving a mock-glare from Gunn, and an all too real one from Buffy.

"Uh, Buffy, this is Alonna, Gunn's sister. Alonna, this is Buffy Summers…"

"Xander's girlfriend," Buffy finished for him.

The tone in her voice that screamed 'he's mine!' actually felt good to Xander. It was also the first time he had heard her call herself that, and it sounded like music to my ears.

"Knew it had to happen one day," Alonna commented with a smile. "When he wasn't helping Chucky here with 'Vamp Killing 101', all he did was talk about you."

* * *

'_Shit, that had been something I had forgotten._

_I had thought at the time that, as I would probably never see the people I met again, I didn't have to hide my feelings for Buffy. Looking back, I did talk about her quite a bit, and on more than one occasion on my travels I got the distinct impression I was boring people to tears._

_The problem I had now, was that I knew what was coming and had no way of stopping it.'_

* * *

"Oh really? What things exactly?" Buffy asked, looking at Xander who was squirming slightly.

"Come with me and I'll tell you all about it," Alonna replied before she led Buffy away.

Xander couldn't resist the shudder the consequences of that would be brought on. It was a shudder that Gunn noticed.

"Don't worry man, sis won't say anything bad," Gunn assured him.

"The problem is I told her some things about what I did that Buffy and the others don't know about. Nothing bad, but I doubt Buff will be happy that I didn't tell anyone, or that I got into those situations in the first place. By the way," he went on, "Buffy's ex-boyfriend has been here in LA for a few months now, set up a detective agency called Angel Investigations."

"Yeah I heard of it, talk was that they were dealing with the more surreal of cases. Thanks for the heads up; I doubt your girl would be happy one of us staked him thinking he was just another bloodsucker."

"You'd be right there," Xander agreed, "but personally I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. If you do ever cross paths he does have a tendency to want to take charge of a situation, it's all part of that 'Champion' thing they've got going on."

"Duly noted."

* * *

_'We continued talking about less serious things for the next half an hour or so, until I noticed Buffy and Alonna coming back arm in arm and laughing, although I did receive a glare from Buffy as they got closer.'_

* * *

"I think we'll need to have a... chat when we get back to Sunnydale Xander," Buffy told him, and as Xander recognised the tone in her voice, he simply nodded in acknowledgement, realising that to say anything else would probably ensure that he'd get his ass kicked all over LA, and that was **before** dealing with The Scourge.

"We better get back to the others," Xander said after a moment before turning to Gunn, "Gunn, it was a pleasure as always."

"Same here man," Gunn told him, "don't wait so long to see us next time. Also make sure that it's not a business trip."

"I'll do my best, but I won't promise anything."

* * *

_'Buffy and I finished our farewells and started to make our way back to Angel's. We didn't say anything all the way back; I'm guessing that she was still thinking about the conversation she'd had with Alonna._

_There are a couple of events that I hadn't told any of the Sunnydale gang, not because I was ashamed, but because I simply didn't see a need to tell them. This of course doesn't mean that they won't think that I should have told them. I knew that this particular conversation I was going to have would probably not be carried out in a calm, civilised manner, but then again hardly any of our conversations are so I should be fine._

_When we get back we find that Angel was up and about at last, his vampiric healing having dealt with the worst of his wounds. He had to drink a lot of blood to speed up the process, completely depleting his stock, so he's going to have to re-stock the fridge, but apart from that he was going to be fine._

_I have to say I'm a little pissed that he was almost back to 100 after only a few hours, but it was going to take days, possibly even weeks, before I'm able to get back to training full time, although I'm sure that Giles and Buffy will try to insist that I wait longer. My middle name should be stubborn instead of Lavelle, hell anything should be my middle name instead of Lavelle._

_My relationship with Angel has always been less than friendly and I doubt that will change too much but since we've been here I have the distinct impression that he wants to rip me apart, Buffy's little revelation about our relationship didn't help matters in the slightest._

_I know that Buffy wasn't happy about the situation, so I guessed I'd better take one for the team and try to clear the air with him. I also wanted to ensure that he didn't transfer his anger for me to Faith once we'd left, as I doubt that things would go well if he did._

_I knew that Angel was a formidable opponent, but Faith didn't have the disadvantage that Buffy did, as she'd have no problem going all out against him, and as she had always revelled in her Calling, she might even have the advantage._

_With Faith and Doyle still out, and Buffy having gone over to Wesley and Cordelia to catch up, it gave me the perfect opportunity to speak to Captain Hairgel.'_

* * *

"Hey Angel, I take it you're feeling better?" Xander asked as he went over to the ensouled vampire.

Angel's usually expressionless face gave way to one of surprise for the briefest of moments before returning to normal. "Yeah, although I have had better days. Yourself?" he asked.

"I won't be running any marathons in the near future, but otherwise I feel like shit," he replied with a smirk.. "Do you think we can have a chat?"

"I thought that we already were?"

"I mean in private."

* * *

_'Angel nodded in agreement after a moment's hesitation, like I was really going to try and stake him with the others around, and we made our way to his office._

_I knew that Buffy would be listening into our conversation no matter where we went, which given I eavesdropped on theirs seemed fair, but I wasn't really worried by that as there was nothing I was going to say to Angel that I wouldn't want her to hear anyway._

_Moving our talk to his office at least gave it the illusion of being private, which was enough for me. As I really didn't to be alone with the guy any longer than was absolutely necessary._

_The things we do for love, hey?'_

* * *

"So what didn't you want Buffy to hear?" Angel asked immediately as he closed the door.

"To be honest nothing; if she asks I'll tell her whatever she wants to know. We had a surprisingly civil conversation on the phone before we came here, but since then we've both been acting downright unfriendly towards each other whenever we were in close proximity. As for my part I'm sorry," Xander told him, only his vast experience at lying hiding his true feelings, "I shouldn't have taken out my anger at Spike out on you."

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Angel asked after a moment.

"No," he replied with a sigh, knowing that he wouldn't receive anything close to an apology in return. "I think that it's high time we finally tried to work out our differences, for Buffy's sake at least."

"Fine. Tell me Xander, why do you hate me so much?"

"Hate is such a strong word," Xander told him, although he didn't deny it was accurate. "Alright, point one; you're a vampire. Soul or not, good deeds or not, the bottom line is that you are a vampire, and I will never allow myself to like a vampire. Period."

"That's quite a narrow viewpoint you got there," he commented.

"Is that fair to you? Probably not," Xander admitted, "but then again, we both know that life isn't fair. The first vampire I ever had a conversation with was Jesse, who up until the point that your sire Darla turned him, had been my best friend, my brother in all but blood. He was also the first vampire I ever staked, to save Cordelia no less. That leads on to point two; your family."

"Blaming me for what they have done, when you just apologised for transferring your anger for Spike onto me, is a bit of a double standard don't you think?"

"If you'd staked Darla that first night you made your presence known instead of giving Buffy a cryptic message, Jesse might still be alive today. If you'd staked Drusilla the first time you talked to her in Sunnydale instead of just letting her walk away, Kendra might still be alive today. If you'd staked Spike that night you went to give me to him as a gift, he wouldn't have been around to piss me off."

Angel would have commented on all of that if it weren't for two things. The first was that as much as he would have liked to deny it, Xander had a point; had he staked them when he had the chance instead of letting them live, countless lives would have been saved, that number increasing every day as Drusilla was still alive.

The other reason was that Xander hadn't sounded angry, he had just been stating his opinion. Angel was used to Xander being emotionally driven when it came to conversations like the one they were having, so for him to remain calm and rational was quite frankly putting him off.

"I noticed you haven't pointed out your jealousy over Buffy choosing me over you."

"I hadn't got to that point yet, as that's actually pretty low down the list at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't happy about the way she'd fawn all over you and see as nothing but 'one of the girls'," Xander went on, making air quotes, "and I admit that I was jealous, but despite my resentment for you, I never hated you for it. It wasn't as though it was the first time someone had been chosen over me, so I was used to rejection."

"I don't doubt that," Angel muttered, although Xander was able to catch it.

"Getting back to the topic of your inaction," Xander went on ignoring the jibe, "you barely did anything more than feed Buffy obscure clues that first year, and only started having a more involved role after Buffy dealt with The Master's bones."

"That's a lie and you know it; I did help out."

"No, you helped **Buffy** out, always managing to be there just in the nick of time to save her if she got a little overwhelmed, but you were next to non-existent when it came to the rest of the human population of Sunnydale. Hell, you weren't even going to help her when she went to face The Master until I persuaded you." Angel went to say something but Xander put his hand up. "I freely admit that you have changed a lot since then, you wouldn't be considered as a Champion by the PTB if you hadn't, but first impression are hard to get over, and your first impression left much to be desired. Again, that may not be fair to you, but that's just the way it is."

"Anything else," Angel asked angrily, as much because he'd realised that Xander's reasons for not liking him were more legitimate than he thought as it was that his comments had cut him to the quick.

"Well, there's the fact that you knocked me out when you were undercover."

"I was pretending to be **Angelus**, if I hadn't done that Faith would have been suspicious."

"Granted, but that doesn't change the fact that you left me lying unconscious in the middle of the road, in **Sunnydale**, at **night**. If the driver that came by hadn't had hi-beams on his car, I'd be dead now. If I'd known what you were doing I might have felt differently, but given that I had been kept out of the loop..."

"Now you can't blame **that** on me!" he snapped, cutting in.

"I don't remember saying that I did," Xander replied, still in the same matter-of-fact tone he had been using the entire conversation, "I was simply pointing out the facts as I see them. You could have mentioned what was going on before the fact, but given that we barely spoke to one another unless absolutely necessary I can see why you didn't. That does not change the fact that you put my life at risk by sucker punching me like that, and even now I can see that you really have no intention of apologising for it."

* * *

_'I decided not to bring up the time he nearly killed Buffy when he had been poisoned by Faith, although it was sorely tempting I can tell you, because I'd promised myself to be as objective as possible._

_If you combine his weakened mental state from the poison and Buffy's stubbornness over him drinking from her, and I can't exactly put the blame all on him; Buffy has to have at least equal billing on that one, with Faith also sharing some of the blame as she caused the situation to begin with._

_I waited silently for Angel to respond; I could tell that he wasn't entirely happy with my little monologue, but he was at least allowing himself time to consider what I'd said before responding, something I'm not known to be able to do often. In fact this entire conversation had been difficult for me, keeping my emotions from showing when I had such strong feelings about it.'_

* * *

"I've got to admit that your reasons are far more reasonable than I though they'd be," Angel comment eventually, having taken time to not only thought about what Xander had said, but to almost calm down from the emotions that had been slowly building during Xander's explanation. "I basically thought that Buffy was the main and only reason you didn't like me."

"Oh, I forgot to mention that you use far too much hair gel," Xander added with a smile.

* * *

_'Angel actually laughed at that one, and as far as I was aware it was probably the first time I'd ever heard him laugh. I'd heard Angelus laugh several times, although I'd never describe them as anything other than sinister, but never Angel._

_Yes, I do see Angel and Angelus as different, but I see them as different personalities of the same person, as opposed to entirely different people. It would be so much easier if they were different people, then we could dust Angelus and still have Angel around, which would at least keep Buffy happy if no one else._

_I then realised that I'd told Angel why I didn't like him, but he hadn't done the same. Seeing as it was only fair, I decided to rectify that.'_

* * *

"I've had my say, so what is it about me you don't like?" Xander asked.

"Initially it was the same as yourself; Buffy. I knew how you felt about her and that you were the closest challenge for her affections, even if she didn't see it the same way. You could be there for her when I couldn't and that annoyed me. You were always rushing into the fight, never thinking of the consequences and usually getting thrown across the cemetery or getting knocked out. Your constant little comments about me, and your ability to turn everything into a joke rubbed me up the wrong way. I was also jealous."

"Huh?" That one came out of left field to Xander.

"Even though you couldn't fight or had the special abilities of the rest of us, you never shied away from the fight or backed down when the odds were against you. That time in the hospital, Angelus could see the determination in your eyes and realised that he may have been able to kill you but you would have taken him down with you. You scared him."

* * *

_'What do you know, little old me scared one of the most feared vampires in history._

_Only on the Hellmouth.'_

* * *

"You're right that I did, and still do, throw myself into a fight," Xander admitted, knowing it would be pointless to argue. "Up until recently I've always seen myself as cannon fodder; if I won the fight it would be a bonus, but even if I died the distraction I caused whatever killed me would be enough for Buffy or one of the others to kill it. I'm not sure you'll be happy to hear this or not, but I've stopped seeing myself that way; I'll still willingly sacrifice myself for my friends, but I'm not fighting recklessly anymore. Before I left on my little road trip, I could take on a vamp or two and come off the winner, not bad when you think that I'm fighting something four times faster and stronger than I could ever be, despite the fact I might not have been able to move much afterwards. I got a lot better during my little journey around America…"

"I heard about Oxnard," Angel told him suddenly.

"How?"

"One of the smart vamps that left described you to me before I dusted him a few weeks ago. You do know that the rumour was that Buffy had moved towns?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah I did, I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Anyway as I was saying, when I came back I asked Giles to start training me, including techniques that would allow me to access the soldier memories from Halloween..."

Angel put his hand up to stop Xander from speaking, "Don't get me wrong, but why are you telling me this?"

"I'm trying to let you know that I'm capable of keeping Buffy safe," he told him.

"I wondered when you might bring her up. You have to be happy that you've won."

The bitterness in his tone wasn't a surprise for Xander, as he'd expected something like that.

"Won? I've won nothing; Buffy isn't some sort of a prize in a game show," Xander replied. "Who she loves or does not love is completely up to her and, for some strange reason, I've been blessed. I know that you're not happy with the thought of our relationship…"

"That's putting it mildly," Angel snorted, interrupting Xander.

"... and there really isn't anything I can do to change that," Xander went on as though Angel hadn't said anything, "but you need to know that there isn't anything you can do to change it either."

* * *

_'I stayed silent as I allowed Angel to do that thinking before talking thing he does so well, which is something that I need to work on._

_His shoulders slumped slightly after about a minute of silence and looked at me.'_

* * *

"I know that there isn't anything I can do about the way she feels," Angel said to him, before taking a step towards him menacingly, "but if you do anything to hurt her..."

"Believe me, if I do you'll have to line up to kill me behind Joyce, Giles and Willow," Xander assured him, repressing the urge to roll his eyes. "You know that I wouldn't consciously hurt her feelings. Before you bring it up," he went on as he saw Angel about to speak, "I am **more** than well aware how my relationship with Cordelia ended. There is no excuse for how Willow and I acted, we were wrong to do what we did. Buffy knows about everything that happened, and yet she still, for some strange reason, wants to be with me."

* * *

_'I still wonder sometimes why it was that Buffy decided to give me a chance, but for once I'm not going to think too much about it; 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' I believe the phrase is._

_I've done so much analysing the last few months, the things I've done, the things Buffy and the others have done, that I could become a psychologist, but there are times when its better to just go with the flow, and while it might not be the best idea, I'm going to do that with Buffy._

_That's not to say I won't take it seriously, I doubt there is anything I'd take more seriously than our relationship, but I'm going to do my best to stop second guessing Buffy or myself all the time._

_Deciding that a change of topic was called for, I brought us back to our original subject.'_

* * *

"Just because we now know why we don't like each other, doesn't mean things will change between us," Xander told him.

"I know that," Angel admitted, "but at least we finally know where we both stand. We may never like each other but it might be wise if we could actually try to curb the animosity, even if it's only when Buffy is around. Deal?"

Angel held out his hand to Xander, who after a moment's deliberation took it in his own.

"Deal. Another thing I wanted to talk to you about is Faith," Xander went on.

"What about her?"

"She may well want to change, but her first instincts will be to lash out at people, at least to begin with. If he's going to be staying around, it might be an idea to keep an eye out for Wesley. He looks like he may have changed since Sunnydale, but he was her Watcher and he did capture her for trial, which we both know would have been very short and ending with her execution. She may not have friendly feelings toward him."

"Does she for anyone?" Angel asked honestly, forcing a smile out of Xander.

"Not really. She did make a pass at me yesterday," he revealed, "but didn't take it too kindly when I turned her down."

"Does Buffy know?"

"She was there when Faith did it," Xander replied, "but didn't make her presence known until after I turned Faith down. I guess she was waiting to see what I did."

"I'm glad you made the right choice," Angel said, although Xander could tell there was as much chance of him winning the Nobel Prize as there was of him meaning that.

"There was no choice as far as I'm concerned; Buffy is the only one for me."

"There may not be much I can do about your relationship, but that doesn't mean I have to talk about it with you," Angel told him shortly, and Xander couldn't really blame him as he'd be exactly the same if the roles were reversed. Hell, he **had** been exactly the same when the roles were reversed.

"All I'm saying is that Faith will need to know that she has a place that she can call home and people she can count on, something that we didn't give her the last time in Sunnydale. I just want to know that she'll be given the best possible chance to make something of herself, as I don't want to fulfil my promise if she loses it again."

"What was that?"

"Let's just say that one of the reasons that she is so willing to make a go of it here is to do with what I said I would do if she messed up again. No, I won't tell you what I'm going to do," Xander told him before Angel could ask, "but Faith might if you ask her."

"I give you my word that I'll do everything I can to ensure she stays on the right side of the line this time," Angel told him sincerely.

"I know, otherwise I'd never would have suggested it. Well, we better get back outside before Buffy decides to come in and check that we're both still alive, or solid in your case."

* * *

_'I allowed Angel to go first as we left his office, quickly coming face to face with Buffy._

_Buffy looked over to the both of us, and her eyes kept flicking from Angel to myself and back. I simply smiled at her and she replied in kind, realising that I was fine, and then we all got back to preparing for tonight._

_An hour or so later, just as the sun began to set, Faith and Doyle returned from looking for the demons in his vision.'_

* * *

"We've found them," Doyle told them, "but they're scared stiff of getting discovered by The Scourge. We have to get them out of here before that happens."

Angel stepped forward. "There's a captain of a ship that owes me a favour who is docked here at the moment. I'll arrange for him to take them somewhere they can... blend in."

Wesley then decided to add his voice to the conversation.

"We do still have the small matter of The Scourge to deal with. A full on attack would not be wise, as we would basically lose." He quickly put his hands up when the two Slayers took umbrage to that. "There are simply too many of them, and they are too well organised of any successful attack to be made with the resources we have. Our best bet is to lead them away from the demons so we can get them to safety."

Buffy now went into 'Slayer Mode'. "And how are we going to do that?" she asked.

"Have you and Faith run interference."

"Why would that work?"

"As you were told by Doyle, The Scourge hate all humans and half-breed demons, especially vampires. What is less well known is that they hate Slayers even more, as they are called with the sole purpose of killing demons. Ever since the second Slayer line was created, their hatred for Slayers has only increased, and they have been waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack them. Seeing you both here at the same time will simply be too tempting to pass up. As long as you stay ahead of them you'll be perfectly fine."

"And if we don't stay ahead of them?" Faith asked.

Wesley looked from Buffy to Faith and back again before responding. "Stay ahead of them."

Xander didn't like the thought of Faith and Buffy acting as bait, but unfortunately knew that there was no other way. On impulse he took Buffy's hand in his own, and she turned and sent him a small smile in thanks.

"You'll be happy to hear that's one command I'll actually obey Wes," Buffy told him.

"I'm with you there B," Faith agreed with a nod, "just don't think this is going to be a habit Wussley."

Wesley actually smiled at that; before he would have got all British and indignant about it. "I have learned to expect the unexpected, especially when dealing with this group."

Cordelia then decided to add her two cents to the conversation. "So while Buffy and Faith lead The Scourge on a wild goose chase, the rest of us will be escorting the demons to the docks where Angel's friend will be waiting. Is it me or does that sound just a little too easy?"

"I have to agree with Cordy," Xander said, "an organisation like The Scourge will have contingency plans in place. Do we know what types of demon we'll be up against if we do face The Scourge?"

"They are made up of a wide range of different breeds of demon," Wesley replied, "each requiring a different method of killing."

"To quote Ash from the Evil Dead movies 'I haven't met anything that doesn't die from decapitation via shotgun'. I have a few weapons in the trunk of my car, but unless you know how to shoot it'll be better if you don't get one."

"Weapons training was part of the training a Watcher is given before they can be assigned to a Slayer or potential," Wesley told him, and both Angel and Doyle indicated that they knew how to shoot as well.

"OK, everyone who doesn't know how to shoot make sure you have some sort of bladed weapon with you as well as the usual toys. Those who do, if you could follow me?"

Angel, Doyle and Wesley follow Xander out to his car. He opened the trunk and took out a few shotguns, generously donated by the Watchers that had come to try to take Faith away, and a box of shells for each one.

"Angel, you need to take care when using this stuff, as I've had all the weapons and ammo blessed by a priest who knows what goes bump in the night. As I got the shotguns and shells from those wetworks bastards, they pack a far more powerful punch than regular ammo, so they should take care of the majority of demons that we might face. Aim for the head and if they don't go down take out their legs; if they can't walk they can't fight."

They all nodded in response, seeing the logic in my suggestion. Wesley looks at Xander with a questioning gaze.

"Xander, I must ask how you became so knowledgeable in this, as well as where this newfound confidence came from."

"The knowledge came from possession, the confidence was always here I simply had to show it," he replied before turning to Angel. "Angel, as this is your turf and you're the one with the Captain in your pocket, so that puts you in charge."

A momentary flash of surprise at Xander's remark was lost in the commanding expression that appeared on his face. "Right, while I sort out my contact, I need you Doyle to get something so we can transport them to the docks. Once I know when and where, can you ,Xander, contact your friends and let them know where we'll be, and that Buffy and Faith will be leading The Scourge around the city and that they may run into them at some point."

"Sure," he replied, "I'll make sure they know to stay out of the way if they do meet up with them. I don't know how many people Gunn will be able to spare, but any help will be useful. I've got some normal shells in the trunk as well; it might be an idea for you to get a bit of practise in. I may have never been a boy scout, but I still believe in being prepared. I'll then suggest that Buffy and Faith get some training in."

"Sounds like a good idea," Angel agreed. "Well we all know what to do so let's get to it."

* * *

_'Wesley went off to find somewhere to use as a firing range, while Doyle went off to 'borrow' a van that would hold everyone. Angel and I go back inside and he made his way into his office to call his friend, leaving me with the task of getting two Slayers, who really don't like each other, to do a little training so they didn't get their asses kicked by The Scourge._

_As you can see, I always get the easy jobs._

_Not seeing them around, I guessed that they must be in the training room downstairs. When I get down there, I found that my task had been completed for me, as they were already training._

_Of course, when I say training I mean trying to kick seven shades of shit out of each other. They were both moving so fast it was like two conflicting blurs, with both of them getting in as many hits as the other, and it looked like they're going for the kill, literally._

_Faith got in a kick to Buffy's midsection that sent her flying, and I used that as my opportunity to get between them, hoping it would turn out as well as the last time.'_

* * *

"Hey now ladies I think you need to…"

* * *

_'The rest of my brilliant and calming rhetoric was knocked out of me, literally, as Buffy hit me with a palm strike to the sternum that was meant for Faith, which sent me crashing into the wall with a sickening thud and I passed out._

_When I come to, I saw that both Faith and Buffy were standing over me, each with an extremely worried expression on their face.'_

* * *

"Hey, Boytoy, you OK?" Faith asked.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Xand, I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't mean to hit **me** that hard, but you had every intention of hitting **Faith** that hard didn't you?" Xander asked Buffy, cutting her off mid stride.

Buffy looked away from him, and Xander was able to see tears in her eyes, but before he dealt with that he turned his attention to Faith, who had a smirk on her face over the way he spoke to her sister Slayer.

"You've got no reason to look so smug Faith," he told her sternly, "it wasn't a light tap on the shoulder that sent Buffy flying across the room was it?"

Xander was surprised to see that Faith actually looked guilty about it when he pointed it out. As he looked at the two women, neither one looking all that happy, Xander closed his eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten before he spoke again.

"I know that you've got a lot of issues to iron out," Xander said to them with a sigh, "but we don't have time for all of this shit. In a few hours you two will be going up against The Scourge, and if they catch you they will **kill** you, and the only back up you'll have is each other. I've been to too many friends' funerals already in my life; I don't want to go to anymore for a **very** long time. Buffy and I will be going back to Sunnyhell after we've sorted out this mess," he went on looking at Faith, "and unless there's an apocalypse I doubt you'll be seeing each other again for a while, so until we leave can you two try to keep your anger focussed on the bad guys?" They both had the common sense in them to say nothing and just nod. "Good," he said firmly, "now can one of you help me up, I seem to be having trouble using my legs."

* * *

_'They both offered me a hand of assistance; Buffy glared at Faith who, for once, decided not to argue the point and walked over to the other side of the training room and started to pound away on the replacement punching bag after she obliterated the last one._

_I gratefully took Buffy's hand and she gently pulled me up onto my feet and helped me upstairs and onto the couch as Angel came out of the office.'_

* * *

"What the hell happened to you?" Angel asked in surprise as he took in Xander's appearance.

"As a vampire I doubt I need to tell you this," Xander answered with a groan, "but never get between two pissed off Slayers, as it tends to be bad for your health."

He winced and nodded. "Are you going to be OK for later tonight?"

"No," he replied honestly, "but as there are now three of you, there shouldn't be any problems."

Cordelia came in with a glass of water and a couple of painkillers. "I overheard what happened and figured you might need these," She said to Xander, who promptly took them.

"Thanks Cor you're the best, as are your two sisters."

She gives Xander a bemused look, but bit back the comments that everyone knew were running around in her head and sat at her desk.

"I've arranged for my friend to be at the docks at 03:30 at Pier 13," Angel told them as he got back to business, "he said he'll be leaving at 04:00 whether we have got there or not. Do you think you can let your friends know?" He asked Xander.

Buffy glared at him for a few seconds. "At the moment I doubt he knows he has any friends Angel."

"I'm right here you know," Xander reminded her.

"You maybe be here physically, but you're not all here mentally yet; you took a bad knock."

"You should know, you're the one that knocked me."

"I said that I was sorry," she whispered shakily.

"I wasn't being nasty Buff," he told her softly, "I know you didn't mean to hit me I'm just a little out of it."

* * *

_'I could see the tears building in her eyes, so I pulled her to me and she wrapped her arms around me and began to silently cry._

_I guess the realisation that she could have just killed her boyfriend had sunk in and she wasn't feeling too great about it. I do my normal thing of whispering comforting words in her ear until she calmed down, and she began to fall asleep. I let her; she would need her energy for later tonight._

_About half an hour later Wesley came in and noticed my condition.'_

* * *

"My word Xander what happened to you?" Wesley asked.

"I bobbed when I should have weaved," Xander replied, wincing as he moved slightly to get a little more comfortable. "I'm afraid I won't be any help tonight."

Xander watched as Wesley looked uncertain about something for a few moments before he spoke again.

"That may not be the case; I know of a spell that can rejuvenate you, healing most of your injuries," Wesley told him. "I'm afraid, however, that there would be some risk involved."

"In that case his answer is no."

Xander knew that Buffy had been awake from the moment Wesley came in to the office, and wished that Wesley had been more tactful and waited to to him alone.

"How about I answer for myself Buff? What are the risks Wes?"

"There would be some risk to the caster, me, as this type of spell is rather powerful, and the recipient of the spell would lose a few years from their natural life span," he explained.

"How many years?" Xander asked.

"As little as two, as many as ten."

"How long will you need to prepare the spell?"

"NO!" two voices shouted firmly.

Faith had come upstairs during Wesley's explanation, and both she and Buffy voiced their opinion in a rather loud manner, doing nothing for the migraine that had been slowly building since Xander's attempt at being peacemaker between the unstoppable force and the immovable object.

"You're risking your lives by acting as decoys tonight," Xander told them slowly, trying to ignore the pounding in his head, "and I want to be there to help."

"We're Slayers, we were chosen to do this…"

"Don't you even **try** that shit with me Buffy!" he snapped forcefully, actually causing her to take a step back from due to his ferocity for a moment before she resumed her previous position holding him. "I've been fighting the good fight for nearly four years," he went on more softly, "if I wanted to stop I would have by now. You and Faith may have been chosen but I chose this and nothing and no one will change my mind, not even you." he turned his attention to Wesley. "How long do you need to prepare the spell Wes?"

"There are a couple of ingredients that I need, and I shall need to centre myself beforehand, I would say that an hour should suffice."

"Will you have time to do it?"

Xander could see that Buffy, Faith and Cordelia were all sending death glares Wesley's way, but he was somehow managing to withstand it, or he simply didn't notice them.

"I would think so," he replied, "once the spell is complete you'll feel the full effects within a couple of minutes."

"Do it."

* * *

_'Buffy released me and stormed off into Angel's office, slamming the door behind her, which with Slayer strength was enough to shatter the glass._

_I was __**not**__ going to help pay for that._

_I knew that I was going to need to speak with her before anything else happened, as even though it was my decision I would still need to justify it to her first, but to do that meant getting up, and I was still in no fit shape to do so, at least not by myself._

_Looking over to Angel, he quickly got the hint and helped me up, and then half carried me over to the office, where I asked him to leave me to it. It hurt like a bitch and it took me a while, but I managed to make my way over to her._

_It took a few moments for her to acknowledge my presence, and when she did she lifted her head to look at me and I could see tears streaming down her face.'_

* * *

"Why are you doing this?" Buffy asked him, moving away when Xander went to hug her.

"I have to," Xander told her softly.

"**No**. **You**. **Don't**!" she screamed.

Xander carefully moved over to her again and was thankful that she didn't resist when he went to hug her again, as he would have probably fallen over.

"Buffy, I love you with everything I have, and there is no way I will let you face the things that you do alone if there is **any** chance that I can be there with you," he explained. "You **know** that if the situation was reversed you would be doing exactly the same thing; it's what you do for the ones you love."

"I can't bare to lose you Xander," she whispered.

"I don't want to lose you either, which is why I want to be there to make sure. Everything is going to be fine."

"You can't promise me that."

"In this situation I can; I'm not stupid enough to piss off a Slayer," he told her with a smile.

He could feel her smiling into my chest and, even in my weakened condition, it affected him in a very... stimulating way. "I may have to stay in here for a couple of minutes before going back out there," he said, feeling embarrassed.

"At least I know **that** part of you is working," she teased.

"When you're around it's **always** on duty." She giggled and let Xander go, walking out of the office with a slight sway of her hips. "Make that five minutes," he called out to her.

* * *

_'That girl was going to be the death of me, but at least I'd have a big old grin on my face when I go._

_Once I had calmed down enough, I slowly made my way back to the others and sat down next to Buffy on the couch. Wesley had gone to collect the ingredients that he didn't have while I had been talking to Buffy._

_Faith and Buffy were still exchanging glares but were trying their best not to say anything to each other, more for my benefit than to actually make peace with each other. At least it was a start; I doubted they would have been able to do even that a few days ago._

_Angel had reverted to the 'silent and brooding' mode he used whenever he didn't know what to say, and wanted to ensure nobody drew him into anything, and Cordelia was reading a fashion magazine while trying to ignore the rest of us._

_About twenty minutes later, Wesley returned with everything he needed for the spell, and then went downstairs to meditate so that he could perform it. After about another twenty minutes, he called for me to come down to join him._

_I did so with difficulty, although Buffy was more than happy to help. Faith followed us down, but did so at a safe distance from her sister Slayer._

_When we reached the bottom, Wesley was there to greet us.'_

* * *

"Xander," Wesley began, "I need you to sit in the middle of the circle I have put on the floor and try to calm your breathing."

"Giles has taught me some meditative techniques; will it be OK if I use one of those?" Xander asked.

"That will be perfect," he told him with a nod before turning to Buffy and Faith. "I will need complete concentration, so I will have to ask that Xander and I are left alone."

Both Slayers instantly altered their postures to 'try and make me'.

"No way Wes," Faith said firmly, "you do it with us here or you don't do it at all."

Buffy looked over to Faith and actually smiled in agreement and gave her a small nod of thanks. It seemed as though they'd found themselves some common ground; Xander's safety.

"Fine," Wesley replied with a sigh, knowing that we wouldn't be able to move them, "but you'll need to stay quiet, otherwise the spell may go wrong and we don't want that do we?"

* * *

_'They both shook their heads at that and took positions at opposite corners of the room, utilising their stealth capabilities to blend in with their surroundings._

_I began to meditate, centring my body and mind in preparation for whatever sensations I may feel during the spell. I vaguely heard Wesley chanting in a language I had never heard before, that in itself having an almost hypnotic effect on me._

_After a minute or two I began to feel a burning sensation from within my body, which quickly went beyond mere discomfort, and was soon firmly ensconced in agonisingly painful. I redoubled my efforts to keep myself centred, and I could feel the sweat literally pouring off of me due to the pure concentration I was having to exert to prevent myself from screaming in agony._

_Just as I was about to buckle under the pressure, the pain disappeared and I collapsed in relief._

_I heard both Buffy and Faith shout my name and rush over; I opened my eyes to see Buffy coming to me and Faith surprisingly going over to Wesley, who had also collapsed.'_

* * *

"Are you OK?" Buffy asked him.

"I am now; that spell wasn't exactly pain free," Xander replied. "How's Wes?"

"He's five by five," Faith told him, "a little out of it though."

"I am fine Xander," Wesley assured him, "the spell was a success, but it took a little more out of me than I expected. I have not used a spell of that power for quite some time."

"Do you know how many years it's taken from him?" Buffy asked, hoping that it hadn't been too many. Of course to her even a **day** was too much, but Xander had been right in that it was his decision. It didn't mean she had to **like** it though.

"Honestly there's no way to tell for sure," Wesley replied, "but knowing our luck we'll have to put up with him for a very long time," he added with a small smile.

"If I didn't know better," Xander said as he got up unaided, a stark improvement from the last few days, "I would think that was an insult, but as I know that to know me is to love me, I'll take it as a compliment."

"Whatever allows you to sleep at night," Wesley replied as he also got up unaided, although Faith had given no indication that she would have helped him in any case.

* * *

_'After helping Wesley clear everything away, and going through some exercises to check that I hadn't suffered any ill effects, we all made our way back upstairs to find that Doyle had returned. He'd just started explaining what he's been doing.'_

* * *

"I've... acquired some transport," Doyle told them, no one questioning his hesitation, plausible deniability and all that, "but it'll be wise to get it back before it's missed, that is if you want me to keep my dashing good looks." Cordelia snorted at that comment, but he ignored her and continued. "Are the arrangements in place?" he asked Angel.

"Yeah, I've arranged it. We need to get them to the docks by 04:00 or he'll leave without them. I've explained who he'll be carrying and he has no problem with it."

Doyle then noticed Xander and the others. "Hey, Xander, you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, have you been told what went on in your absence?"

"Princess gave me the Cliff notes version. The spell work?"

"Absolutely, I haven't felt this good in a while. I do need to ask you another favour Wes," Xander said, turning to the former Watcher.

"Yes?"

"I appreciate you using that spell but it would be a very good idea not to use it on anybody else unless absolutely necessary."

"That's a bit of a double standard isn't it Boytoy?" Faith asked him.

"If you combine the beatings I got from my father from as far back as I can remember, getting knocked from one side of Sunnydale to the other by vamps and demons, and the meditation techniques I've been using for months I've acquired an extremely high tolerance to pain." The gasps of shock from the majority of the room reminded Xander that he may not have told anyone about his home life before. "Given all that," he went on, "I have never experienced as much pain as that spell caused. Anyone who isn't as mentally disciplined for that sort of agony would not be able to keep the focus the spell requires to work correctly. I'm not saying to never use the spell again; I have no right to do so. All I'm saying is that you firmly label it 'Emergency Only'."

Angel decided to add his weight to the conversation. "Xander's right, that spell is too risky to use too often. Not to mention that the spell takes years off a person's life, if it was used too much it would become more dangerous than the injuries you're trying to heal."

"I agree that the spell should only be used when necessary," Wesley told them before turning to Xander. "I'm sorry Xander, I was unaware as to how much pain you would experience."

"Don't worry about it; I know that you would have explained it if you were aware. It may have had something to do with the amount of injuries I've incurred and the time period in which I attained them." Everyone began to look at Xander strangely, especially Buffy.

"Xander, when did you become British?" she asked, only half joking.

"My dear lady, the fact that I am currently using the English language in the way in which it was intended, does not mean that I have changed nationalities."

"You're really starting to freak me out now Xand," she told him seriously.

Xander looked at her emotionlessly for a few moments before cracking up with laughter. "Don't worry Buff, I'm still me, but with all the studying Giles has got me doing, my vocabulary has increased quite a bit. To be able to translate a demonic language into English, you need to have a better understanding of English first. It's a price I'm willing to pay, especially when I get to see your faces when I start speaking Watcher to you."

Wesley looked at Xander inquisitively. "Should I be insulted by that?"

"If I were insulting you, I'd also be insulting Giles, which is something I really wouldn't do. If I were you I would think of it more as... friendly ribbing. I've just remembered that I haven't called Gunn and let him know what's going on." Xander used his cell to dial Gunn's number, only to find that no one is answering. "Damn, he must be out. I'll have to go and wait for him to come back and then bring them with me. That going to cause any problems Angel?" he asked.

"That shouldn't be a problem; Buffy and Faith will be leading The Scourge on a merry dance, Doyle and Wes can go and collect our demon refugees and Cordy can come with me to the docks to ensure everything is OK that end. Once you've let your friends know what's happening, meet us at the docks and we can work it from there."

"Well it's 11:30 now, we won't need to make a move until 01:00. Why don't you, Doyle and Wes get a little practise with the guns to remove any rust you may have while I run through my usual routine with Cordy, Faith and Buffy."

"Why me?" Cordelia asked, finding it strange that she was being included, although also pleased.

"I know that you handled yourself well in the warehouse, but it's about time you started to learn how to defend yourself properly," Xander explained. "Looking back on it, one of the things that disturbs me the most is that we never learned self defence during High School. We spent three years fighting vampires, but never learned how to actually fight; I may have halved the amount of concussions I got if I knew how to land properly. I'm sure that with the rest of the Fang Gang's help, you'll soon be kicking butt with the best of them."

"Fang Gang?" Angel repeated, saying it like it had left a funny taste in his mouth.

"Yeah," Xander replied with a smile, "back in Sunnydale we're the Scooby Gang so I thought that you'd be the Fang Gang."

Angel glared at Xander for a moment before turning to Cordelia. "I'm not sure about the Fang Gang part, but Xander's right that it would be a good idea for you to know how to defend yourself in a fight Cordy; even if you don't come out with us that often this is still LA."

"Fine, but if I break a nail we'll be having words dweeb, you too Angel."

* * *

_'Angel and I both just nodded, knowing that even though she had changed a lot, there would never be any getting rid of the core of what made Cordelia, well, Cordelia._

_Angel, Wesley and Doyle left to practise their shooting, while the rest of us went downstairs and started training. Buffy and Faith sparred some more, but with the memories of the last time fresh in their memories, and the fact that I was in the room with them, they took it a __**lot**__ easier on each other._

_While they trained, I took Cordelia through a simple kata, her years as a cheerleader making it a lot easier for her to pick up the moves. After I was happy that she knew it well enough to practise on her own, I put the pads on and let her smack me about; the predatory smile on her face as she landed a kick was a little disturbing, but I ignored it knowing that she was just exorcising a few more demons._

_Once we had all finished, we went back upstairs and waited for the others to return. An uncomfortable, but not entirely unwelcome, silence descended upon us until the others returned, allowing us all time to compose ourselves for the night ahead.'_

* * *

"How did you get on?" Xander asked the guys as the came back from the office.

"Fine thanks Xander," Wesley replied, "Angel got a slight burn when he forgot to put his gloves on before reloading, but other than that everything went as expected."

"These pack a powerful punch mate," Doyle told him with a smile, "I wish I had one of these years ago."

"Doyle, it would have been easier if you didn't get into a situation where these were necessary," Xander commented.

"True," he admitted with a grin, "but they still would have come in handy. Everybody ready?"

Everyone nodded their heads and took that as the signal to make a move. Before they reached the door, Xander pulled Buffy to one side and kissed her with every ounce of love he had for her.

"Stay safe," he whispered to her after releasing her.

"You too," she replied just as softly, still feeling shaken by the kiss he'd just landed on her. "If you get yourself killed, I'll bring you back just to kill you myself. I love you, you know that right?" she asked, feeling and sounding a little uncertain.

"Absolutely," he told her, "and I love you. I'll see you later." He kissed her softly on the lips once more and then released her, leaving to meet Cordelia at his car. "You ready Cor?" he asked as he got there.

"As I'll ever be," she replied simply. "She'll be fine you know?" she told him, indicating Buffy.

He nodded. "Won't stop me from worrying about it. Doyle is going to be OK as well."

"What makes you think I care?" she snapped, although her eyes betrayed her. Even if they hadn't he'd known her too long to be fooled.

"Don't try that with me," he said calmly, "I know you like him, and that it's in a more than friends way."

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied firmly, confirming what he said without actually saying the words.

"You don't have to; just know that if you **do** want to talk, I'm here for you."

"Thanks," she replied softly before getting a hold of herself. "We better get going."

* * *

_'We get in the car and drove to Gunn's, finding no one at home._

_It's almost 03:00 when Gunn and the other's turned up, and by that point Cordelia was more than a little impatient. I sent her a warning glare to indicate that she better not start anything, and for once she took my advice, especially when she saw some of the hardware they were carrying._

_Of course after it all this is over I fully expected to get it with both barrels from her to compensate, but I had long since become immune so I wasn't worried._

_Much.'_

* * *

"Yo Alex, what's up bro?" Gunn asked as he approached the pair.

"Alex?"

"Not now Cordy," Xander told her firmly. "My friends are trying to get those demons out of the country," he said to Gunn, "but I have a feeling that things are going to be FUBAR, so I was hoping that you and a few others may want to give me a hand?"

"When do you need us?" he replied instantly.

"That's the problem; it's going down right now. I tried contacting you earlier but you were out."

"Sorry, we heard about a vamp nest that was nearby and had to deal with it before it grew," he explained apologetically.

"Everyone OK?" Xander asked immediately, causing Gunn to smile a little at his thoughtfulness.

"A couple of guys had to go to the ER, but other than that nothing but the usual bumps and bruises. I can spare about a dozen of us, that do?" he asked.

"Yeah that'll be great. How long will you need to prepare?"

"We can come right now," he said with a shrug, "all our weapons are in the trucks anyway."

"Beautiful. In that case follow me," Xander told him.

Gunn nodded and went back to the others to sort out the troops, while he and Cordelia went back to the car.

"Alex?" Cordelia repeated as they got into the car, her tone telling him he better not try to fob her off again.

"Xander was the goofball that everybody knew in Sunnydale, I was trying to escape that so I started using Alex," he explained.

A car horn indicated to him that Gunn and the others were ready, so Xander started the car and, using the directions that Angel had given him, made his way to the docks. As they were getting close to their destination, Xander stopped the car just out of sight of the docks and waited for the others to catch up.

"Why stop here?" Cordelia asked.

"I have a bad feeling," he told her.

Cordelia nodded, knowing that in their group their instincts were sometimes all they had to guide them, and as Xander got out of the car she followed suit and watched as he went to the back of his car and popped the trunk, retrieving his shotgun and a few other items. He only had one bulletproof vest with him, so he handed it to Cordelia.

"You'll need this more than me Xander," she told him, but once she saw the look on his face, she sighed and acquiesced, allowing him to fix it to her properly to ensure it offered maximum protection.

By now, Gunn and the others had arrived and had gone over to the pair. "What's the deal?" he asked.

"I sense a disturbance in the force," he said in a passable imitation of Sir Alec Guinness, before returning to his own voice. "Feel like checking it out with me?"

"Sure," Gunn responded with a shrug, "beats having a normal life."

"Cool, I've a little toy for you," Xander said as he handed Gunn a shotgun, who took it appreciatively. "This way you don't have to get too close to the bad guys. Alonna will kill me if I let anything happen to her baby brother."

"I'm older than her, you know that!" Gunn griped.

"Physically maybe, mentally never," Xander retorted with a grin. "Cordelia, I want you to stay here with Gunn's men. If we're not back in 10 minutes, I want you and the others to make as big a diversion as you can without actually engaging anything. I have a few things in the car that will help."

"You sure?" she asked.

"I'm as sure of this as you are of fashion."

"Right. Be careful."

"Always," he assured her, although as she knew him it wasn't that reassuring. "Lets go."

Gunn followed Xander to the pier and his suspicions were confirmed; a couple of demons in SS style uniforms were standing guard at the ramp to the ship. Judging by the way they're dressed, they must be members of The Scourge.

"OK Gunn," Xander began, "we don't want to get into a fight with these guys, so stealth is the key. Can you swim?"

"Why do I think that my answer will get me into a lot of trouble?" Gunn asked with a sigh, even as he nodded.

* * *

'_I simply smiled at him in response and began to walk over to the edge of the pier, out of sight of the guards, and lowered myself into the water. Once I'm in I look up to Gunn who, after a moment's deliberation, followed me in._

_We swam up to the other side of the boat and, using the towrope I took out of the trunk of my car, I managed to lasso it to a hook. Testing it to ensure that it would hold, I began to climb up and then once I'm on deck I signalled for Gunn to follow me. Once he was up I gathered up the rope and we made our way inside the boat._

_I contemplated suggesting that we split up, but I had seen enough horror movies to know that the outcome would not be of the good, and I knew that Gunn would probably make some comment that the black guy always dies first._

_We managed to make our way down to the hold to find that The Scourge had the demons we were trying to protect captive, along with Buffy, Faith and the Fang Gang. My first thought was to rush them guns blazing, but these days I managed to resist acting on those sorts of impulses, knowing that the outcome would be my death and probably everyone else's as well._

_One of the demons, I'm guessing the leader, was talking to the others and every now and then looked up at something being suspended from the ceiling by chains.'_

* * *

"What are we going to do, Alex?" Gunn whispered softly to Xander.

"We wait until our ten minutes are up, and then use the distraction Cordy and the others provide to our best advantage," he replied just as quietly. "It will also give me a chance to think of something that doesn't end up with our heads disconnected from our bodies."

"You aint gonna get an argument from me on that one man. Can you hear what they're saying?"

"If you stop talking I can," he told him with a smile.

"Sorry."

* * *

'_I smiled at him again, and then started to focus my mind, allowing me to concentrate on what they were talking about.'_

* * *

"How did you know we were coming here?" Angel asked their captives.

"It seems that the captain's crew were less happy to have demons as cargo than he was," the leader replied, his accent actually tinged with German. "We let it be known that we would pay handsomely for the whereabouts of those demons and one of his crew decided to take us up on the offer." Several of his men then brought in the lifeless bodies of the captain and his crew. "Some people were simply born stupid."

Buffy and the others looked on in shock as the bodies were simply dumped into the corner of the hold, The Scourge showing them no respect. Before they had a chance to say anything, the leader began speaking again.

"You humans and half breeds have been a bane to our existence for far too long," he went on, "but with our new weapon will change all that."

"How's it going to do that Adolf?" Faith asked, and grinned at the scowl the leader sent her way before replying.

"Our scientists have designed a weapon that will kill anything that is not pureblood demon in nature, and we believe you're the ideal test subjects." He pulled out a small black object out of his pocket and pressed a button. The device hanging from the ceiling then begins to hum, and a light slowly began to appear. "In five minutes, the device will be at full power and when it activates, every human and half-breed in a five mile area will vaporise; the first step in the cleansing of the impure will begin!" he exclaimed, his men cheering as he began to laugh, an extremely clichéd laugh that all Bond villains have.

"Gunn," Xander whispered quickly, "we have five minutes before everyone in LA who isn't a pureblood demon goes the way of the dodo."

"Shit," he replied succinctly, "what are we going to do?" They suddenly heard an explosion outside, and one of the leader's sub-ordinates came rushing in. "Never mind."

"There is a group of human scum outside throwing grenades at our troops!" the demon reported quickly.

"Well don't just stand there, send the men to eradicate them!" the leader snapped.

* * *

'_Taking that as my chance to do something, I fired my shotgun at the chains holding the device, which sending it crashing to the floor. It didn't stop humming, however, and the light continued to get brighter._

_Using that as a diversion, Buffy and Faith both leapt into action, each having loosened their bonds during their conversation with the latest maniac. Angel had also managed to break free, and began to untie the others. Gunn and I used our shotguns to cover the refugee demons escape, while Angel and the others battled the remaining members of The Scourge, fighting with a fury I'd rarely seen before._

_We made our way down to meet the others.'_

* * *

"We need to stop that device," Xander told them unnecessarily.

Angel finished off the demon he was fighting and turned to him. "How?"

"Simple; when in doubt, blow the fucking thing up. Angel, take the others and get out of here, I'll be right behind you."

"I'm staying," Buffy told him firmly.

"We don't have time for this Buff, it's going to go off any moment!" Xander snapped.

"I'm **staying**!" she repeated, her tone brooking no refusal.

* * *

'_Not having the time to argue, I simply nodded._

_While Angel and the others all made their way out, I made my way over to the device and placed explosives either side of it. As soon as I'd armed the trigger mechanism, I grabbed Buffy's hand and ran for dear life._

_As soon as we reached the deck of the boat, I set off the explosives while jumping over the side, dragging Buffy with me. As we hit the water the boat exploded, destroying the device in the process. We both swam for our lives, trying to get away from the sinking boat and the falling debris caused by the blast._

_We stopped once we were far enough away and looked each other over.'_

* * *

"Are you OK?" Xander asked her.

"I've been chased, captured, tied up and almost blown up," she replied as she rolled her eyes. "What do you think?"

"That you look cute when you're pissed at me." She tried but failed to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside her. "Come on, we better let everyone know that we're still in one piece, as well as help them kill whoever of The Scourge was stupid enough to stay around."

* * *

'_We swam to the pier and got out of the water, immediately running towards the sounds of gunfire. When we get there, we found that only one or two members of The Scourge had stayed behind, obviously to keep us occupied so the rest of them could retreat. Wesley was right that they were well organised, and I had no doubt that this was just a fraction of the forces that The Scourge had available._

_Angel and the others were holding their own, the shotguns I had provided being effective in at least injuring the demons, although not actually killing them. Swords however did work quite effectively, as proved by Faith and Angel as they decapitated two demons almost simultaneously._

_I used my shotgun to hold off the last of them while Buffy rushed in and literally ripped its head clean off its shoulders. We all just stared at her for a few seconds, Faith being the first able to speak.'_

* * *

"Hey B, you couldn't have tried using a sword?" Faith asked.

"I had a lot of anger I needed to release, I released it," Buffy replied simply. "Everyone OK?"

Cordelia walked up to join the rest of the group. "We're definitely better than the alternative. I'm afraid I used all of your grenades Xander," she told him with a smile, and the group could tell she'd had a **lot** of fun throwing them.

"I can always steal more; it's harder to get into Harmony's pants than it is to get into the armoury at the Sunnydale Army base."

"Firstly, **eww**. Secondly, that's cold."

"So is she," he replied. "I don't know about you guys, but I really feel sleep is necessary right now."

* * *

'_All I received from that was a Mexican wave of nods._

_Gunn and his people left soon after the introductions were made; I give him the address of Angel's office so he could come round later to say goodbye._

_We all then make our way to our respective places of rest; Cordelia offered to put Buffy and myself up for the night at her apartment, as we still hadn't had a chance to go to a hotel. We graciously accept and I drove us there._

_We got to meet Dennis, the resident ghost and Cordelia's roommate, who after trying to scare the living daylights out of us seemed to be a decent fellow. Buffy took the spare bedroom and I took the couch; I barely managed to undress and lie down before I passed out from exhaustion._

_I woke up just before noon and, once the other two were awake, we made our way to Angel's, making a detour to grab some breakfast for us and doughnuts for everyone else._

_When we arrive I could see Gunn and Angel standing toe-to-toe, Wesley and Doyle trying to keep them from fighting. Faith was just sitting back and enjoying the show, and when her senses picked up the aroma of the doughnuts, she came bounding over, snatched them from my hands, and returned to her ring-side seat, stuffing a glazed doughnut in her mouth._

_Seeing that no one was going to calm down very soon, I decided to let my presence known.'_

* * *

"What the hell is going on?" Xander asked loudly, causing the others to turn round him, as Buffy and Cordelia had gone off to share the doughnuts with Faith.

Wesley decided to answer my question. "Angel was trying to discuss with Gunn how we could help him with his patrols."

Realising that Wesley was trying to be diplomatic, Xander decided to translate that for him. "Let me guess; Angel's way of discussion was for him to tell Gunn what he wanted him to do, and when Gunn told him to shove it, he tried to intimidate him?"

Realising that he knew exactly what had happened, Wesley decided to go with the honest approach. "That about sums it up actually, yes."

"Angel what I'm about to say is in no way meant to insult you," Xander told him, "but you've got to pull your head out of your ass." Angel glared at Xander for a moment, but decided to remain quiet. "It may be called the City of Angels, but that doesn't mean that it's **your** city. You can't expect for everyone to bow down to your way of thinking just because you say so. Gunn and his people have been doing this for a long time now, and are pretty damn good at it; that in no way means that they can do everything by themselves, and although I can't believe I'm going to say this, you can be a big help to them."

Gunn went to say something, but Xander signalled for him to shut up and he reluctantly did so. "Gunn, I said **help**, not take over. I know that the reason you went on the offensive so quickly was because you thought that he was trying to take over your turf and I respect that; the hyena taught me all about being the alpha. Angel and the others can help you a lot, not only with patrols, but in intelligence as well. He has a way of finding out information; something we both know is vital to staying ahead of the game. He has a tendency to want to take charge as I told you yesterday, but I have a feeling that's a Sunnydale thing… **oww**," he said in surprise, and turned to Buffy who had just clipped him round the ear, which Xander thought to be plain mean.

Xander pouted at her, and Buffy sighed and kissed him to make up for it, which it did.

Angel was silent for a few moments before finally talking, facing Gunn as he did so. "I really can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with Xander. You've been here longer than I have, and I shouldn't have expected to just come in and take over. Can we start over?" he asked.

Gunn just looked at him for a couple of seconds before nodding once. "Alex trusts you so I'll give you a shot, but this is going to be a partnership. We help each other when we can, and give each other the heads up if we hear something we think the other will need to know. Everything else can be worked on as things go on. Deal?"

He extended his hand to Angel, who took it immediately.

"Deal." They stepped away from each other, and Angel turned to face Xander. "So when do you have to leave Xander?"

"Pretty soon I'm afraid," he replied, "I checked my cell on the way here and my boss left a message telling me he needed everyone at work tomorrow. I've found sleep allows me to last a full day of work; I've been pretty lucky with them so far, but I don't want to push my luck."

* * *

'_I had hoped to have a little time alone with Buffy, as we really hadn't had any quality time since we started being a couple, but I knew my luck wouldn't hold out for long after we all got out alive earlier this morning._

_The look that Buffy sent my way gave me the indication that she felt the same way, so I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. We'd have plenty of chances for 'us time' when we got back to the Dale, and I would make sure we took advantage of as many as humanly possible.'_

* * *

"Not only that," Buffy added, "but I've missed some classes at college, and Professor Walsh has been looking for a way to kick me out of her class for a while now."

"She better not if she knows what's good for her," Xander growled.

"That's a bit over the top even for you isn't it Xander?" Cordelia asked.

"Not in this case it isn't." Xander went on to give them a brief explanation on Walsh and The Initiative.

"If you need any help…"

"We know who to call," Buffy assured them "but we don't want to run the risk of them finding out about a vampire with a soul, as I doubt they'll just want to meet up for tea and biscuits."

"Good point," Angel agreed, not liking the thought of being experimented on, "but if they decide to step up whatever they're doing, call and we'll be there."

"Thanks."

* * *

'_We spent the next couple of hours sitting and talking; I tried to integrate Gunn with the others as much as possible, so things could run more smoothly between the two groups after I've gone._

_What I found strange was that Gunn and Wesley hit it off almost straight away, although I have to admit that if Wesley had been like this when he first showed up in Sunnydale, I probably would have liked him as well. It was like having a younger version of Giles around, but without the demon summoning._

_Finally it was time to say our goodbyes, Gunn being the first to leave as he had to get back to base and check on his crew._

_Buffy and Angel went and talked privately for a while; they needed to have some closure to everything, and I decided not to eavesdrop on them this time around. I knew where Buffy's heart lied now, so I didn't have the jealousy that made me listen in last time._

_Cordelia simply gave me a hug, and told me to keep up the fashion improvements. I told her that I would do my best, and that she should at least give Doyle a chance._

_Doyle shook my hand; I told him to be patient with Cordelia, as she was worth the effort._

_I gave Wesley Giles' number, so they could compare notes when the need arose, and so that they could try to reconcile their differences. I had a feeling that once Giles got to know this Wesley, it wouldn't take long for them to get along._

_Faith kept her distance from me, obviously not interested in saying goodbye, but there was no way I was going to leave things like that so I decided to go over to her instead.'_

* * *

"Hey Faith," Xander said gently as he approached her.

"What do you want Boytoy?" Faith asked him shortly, looking less than happy at the moment.

"I wanted to say goodbye and to check how you are."

"Goodbye, and how I am is no fucking business of yours."

"Listen Faith…"

"No you listen," she said cutting him off, "I've never backtracked before, but you've somehow managed to make me feel something for you, and when I make my move you fucking turn me down. If you didn't want me what did you help me for?" she asked him.

"I helped you because I felt you deserved it," he told her gently but firmly, hating that her life had made her think that way. "The only thing I would have liked in return is your friendship, but it wasn't a requirement. I'm sorry that I don't feel the same way as you do, but I can't help the way I feel. I'd still like to be friends, if that's OK with you?"

"Right now I doubt that a friendship will work," she told him after a few moments of silence, her voice not as angry as before, "but I'm not throwing the idea completely out of the window."

Xander hid the disappointment he felt, knowing that it was the only way Faith knew how to deal with emotions. At least she wasn't trying to choke him to death this time.

"That's all I'm asking; that you think about it. I know how annoying Cordy can be, so if she gets too much just count to ten, and then if all else fails find a demon to kill that isn't named Angel."

Faith actually laughed at that, an honest laugh that lit up her face. It was something Xander hoped she started to do more often, as it meant that the walls she'd built up were falling down and the real Faith would start to come through.

"I'll do my best but I won't promise anything," she told him.

* * *

'_I decided to leave it at that; if I actually thought she'd hurt Cordelia or the others, I'd have fulfilled my promise by now._

_We joined the others, including Buffy and Angel who had returned from their chat. Angel didn't look all that happy, no change there then, but I could tell by the look on Buffy's face that they had sorted things out between them._

_Buffy said her goodbyes to everyone and went out to the car, as it was daytime Angel had to stay inside so I decide hold back a minute and say goodbye to him, as he was the only I hadn't and didn't want to add any fuel to the fire.'_

* * *

"You've got a good thing going here Angel," Xander told Angel as he walked up to him, don't screw it up."

"My sentiments exactly," Angel replied with a small smile. "If anyone asks I'll deny it, but take care of yourself."

"My sentiments exactly," Xander repeated.

* * *

'_I held my hand out to him and he grasped it. We shook hands briefly before I made my way out to the car and began the drive back to Sunnydale.'_


	12. Chapter Eleven

_**Chapter Eleven**_

'_After our little adventure in LA, we decided to drive directly to Giles' apartment, as I was sure he would want a full report on what had happened._

_When we got his place, we found that Willow was also there, which meant that we only had to tell it the once, which saved us a little time._

_After recounting the details, both Willow and Giles were a little lost for words, which for those two was quite an achievement.'_

* * *

"I must say that trouble does have an uncanny way of following you," Giles commented.

"Giles I would like to point out that Buffy was there as well," Xander said in his defence.

"I was talking to Buffy," the former Watcher said with a wolfish smile, receiving an annoyed grunt from the lady in question. "How are you feeling Xander?" he asked more seriously.

"To be honest, Giles, I'm not feeling 100," he replied, "but after a couple of days I should be fine. Of course, if Wes hadn't used that spell when he had, you'd probably been visiting me in the hospital right now. So, what have you two been doing while we were fighting the forces of darkness in LA?"

Willow was noticeably silent, but Giles decided to answer. "Enjoying the peaceful silence that comes with your absence," he informed the pair.

"Two jokes from Giles in the space of five minutes?" Xander said in feigned surprise before turning to Buffy. "That must be a sign of the apocalypse, or something equally as bad."

"Shut up," Giles told him.

"Yes Mon Capitan!" Xander replied with a salute.

* * *

'_I'm glad that I've started to rub off a little on Giles, metaphorically speaking of course._

_Since I've toned down my humour, Giles has found it a lot easier to digest, and because of that has slowly started to come around to joining in. Of course, he'll never be as masterful of the one-liner as myself, but nobody can._

_After we've all finished laughing, Willow decided to finally join in the conversation.'_

* * *

"Actually guys, there's something I wanted to talk to you about," Willow said hesitantly.

The others could tell that Willow was nervous about something, so they all decided to help ease whatever it was that's bothering her. Xander moved so that he was sitting next to her, Buffy copying the action to sit the opposite side, and they both placed a hand on her shoulder, trying to convey that everything was OK.

"You can tell us anything Wills, you know that," Xander said gently.

"I know that, but this is quite important to me, and I'm not entirely sure how to bring it up."

Xander could tell by the look on her face that whatever it was she wanted to say was something she didn't want to talk about around Giles, so he helped her out. "It's getting late, so how about Buff and I escort you back to the dorms, and you can tell us all about it?" he suggested.

* * *

'_She nodded her assent and then gave me an appreciative look, so after we all bid our farewells to Giles, Buffy and I led Willow to my car and we made our way back to their dorm room._

_When we got there, Willow took a seat on her bed while Buffy and I take a seat on hers. There's silence for a couple of minutes, as Buffy and I didn't want to push Willow, and Willow didn't look like she knew where to start._

_Eventually I decided to cut to the chase, as my patience was low at the moment.'_

* * *

"OK, we're here Wills so what do you want to tell us?"

Willow opened and closed her mouth a few times in abortive attempts to speak, trying to start but finding herself unable, until she finally got over what it was and began. "Well, it's just that for the last few weeks I've been starting to have feelings for someone, and now I've finally told them I wanted to let you know."

"That's great!" Xander declared, more than happy that Willow was finally getting over what happened with Oz. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Willow suddenly got a very panicky look on her face, and Xander wondered what it was he said to cause it. "Well, uh, you see, her name is Tara, Tara Maclay."

* * *

'_That wasn't something I had expected to hear, although at the same time hadn't been surprised either._

_Despite the fact that she had never shown any attraction to women before, I knew that Willow must have had at east some Bisexual tendencies, due to meeting Vamp Willow last year and they way she had been. I just never thought that she would actually act on them, as it took her long enough to talk to boys._

_I looked over to Buffy and she had her patented 'deer caught in the headlights' look plastered on her face. Realising that she was going to be out of it for a while, I decide to speak on her behalf.'_

* * *

"When do we get to meet her?" Xander asked with a smile.

The panicky look on Willow's face converted to one of shock, and once again Xander wondered what he said. "Xander, you do realise that I just said that I'm going out with another **woman**, as in a **relationship** kind of going out? How come you're not shocked?"

* * *

'_I don't know why, but my complete lack of outrage seemed to have hurt her feelings for some reason._

_I will never fully understand the workings of the female mind, and any man that says he does is a liar.'_

* * *

"As far as I'm concerned, as long as you're happy I don't care who you're happy with. If Tara makes you happy, then I'm happy too," Xander told her with a shrug.

* * *

'_The high-pitched squeal and the bone crushing hug that I got gave me the impression that I must have given the right answer._

_It was an honest answer as well; I had no right to say who she could or couldn't have a relationship, although I will always reserve the right to make my opinion known if she ever went out with someone that hurt her._

_What was starting to worry me was Buffy's complete lack of, well, __**anything**__. She was still sitting next to me with the same look on her face she had when Willow first gave us her news, and she didn't show any sign that she would snap out of it._

_Willow must have spotted it as well, as she let me go and sat back down on her bed, facing Buffy.'_

* * *

"Buffy? Are you OK?" Willow asked carefully.

It took a couple more seconds before Buffy realised that she been asked a question. "No, uh, I mean yes, uh, I mean, I'm not really sure. I mean, I never really thought that you were into girls, I mean, what with Xander and Oz and everything. It's just a bit of a shock is all," Buffy babbled.

Buffy could see that was not the response Willow had been expecting; she had probably expected the polar opposite in fact. When Buffy saw the hurt look on Willow's face, she realised that she may not have explained herself very well, and hastened to rectify that.

"Don't get me wrong Willow, I have **no** problems with this," she assured her. "As Xander said, your happiness is what matters here. I was in love with a **vampire** after all, so I'm not exactly closed minded when it comes to less than conventional relationships. It's just that of all the things I was expecting to hear from you, this wasn't among them."

Willow was visibly calmer but nowhere near her normal. Seeing this, Buffy went over to her and wrapped an arm around her before she continued. "I'm really OK with this Willow; I'm simply going to take a little time to get my head around it, that's all."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely, I'm happy for you." Willow looked a little uncertain for a moment, but after seeing the conviction in Buffy's eyes, she brightened and pulled her into a hug as well. "As Xander said, when do we get to meet her?" Buffy asked after a moment.

Willow thought about it for a few moments before answering. "How about the day after tomorrow at Giles' place?"

Buffy and Xander looked at each other and nodded in agreement. "Sounds fine to me," Xander told her, "what about you Buff?"

"Absolutely," she responded firmly. "You do realise, Willow, that you'll need to explain to Giles who Tara is before then? You know how he gets when it comes to personal issues; this will most likely give him a coronary, or at least a permanent stutter."

"Do I have to?" she asked worriedly.

* * *

'_Just as Buffy and I do, Willow looked to Giles as a father figure, and was of course concerned about what he would think._

_I don't blame her for thinking that way; her parents are always out of town at one convention or another, and when they are around they more often than not treated Willow like another patient instead of a daughter._

_Giles had filled in the paternal role for Willow, so to that end his opinion was held very highly by her, and the thought of his rejection started to get her panicked again._

_Seeing that, I tried my best to calm her down.'_

* * *

"You know that Giles will be fine about it," Xander assured her as he joined the two women on the bed and hugged Willow to him, "he just wants you to be happy like the rest of us. He will stutter and clean his glasses as he always does when he's been thrown for a loop, but he'll not be anything other than happy that you're happy. Tara may not understand that about him though, which is why it would be wise to tell him before they meet, so she doesn't get the wrong idea."

Willow nodded in understanding, although still not happy that she needed to tell him. Xander suddenly yawned, and when he looked at his watch he could see just how late it was.

"I hate to leave like this, but I have work in the morning, and if I have any more time off I'll get fired and I actually like this job."

* * *

'_I hugged Willow again, and then kissed Buffy goodnight, before finally making my way home. The moment my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light._

_Deciding to concentrate on my work, I didn't see any of the others until the meeting, although I did phone Buffy at least three times a day just to hear her voice, not really talking about anything deep but just allowing each other to know how we feel._

_Although I was still in a bit of pain due to recent events, jumping from an exploding ship can do that to you so I've heard, I actually found the work relaxing, in a weird sort of way. Yes, it was physically demanding, and yes, I hurt at the end of it, but it was nice to build and repair things for a change instead of being the one to break them._

_I got to Giles' place early and do some training; Giles hadn't allowed me to train fully due to my injuries, even though I said I would be fine and that I was back to work. I didn't argue too much, as I know he was only looking out for me, which was something I'm still having trouble getting used to._

_By the time I had showered and changed, the others had arrived. When I saw Tara I could see straight away why Willow liked her; she was roughly the same height as Willow, although with a rather fuller figure, hidden behind baggy clothing as it was. Her shoulder length, mousy brown hair covered most of her features, which told me that she was shy around strangers.'_

* * *

"Everyone," Willow said with a wide smile, "this is Tara."

"H-hello," she greeted them all softly.

She didn't make eye contact with any of them, and Xander's assumption that she was shy was confirmed. As he could see that she had no intention of making the first move, Xander decided to instead.

"Hi Tara, I'm Xander. It's a pleasure to meet you," he said just as softly.

* * *

'_I gently walked up to her and took her hand, kissing the back of it before releasing it. She blushed a shade of red that almost perfectly matched Willow's hair; something I had to admit was rather cute. Buffy gave me a look at my actions, but realised I was just trying to be extra nice so didn't call me on it._

_Another thing I realised about Tara was that she seemed to stiffen at my closeness and contact. I took a few steps back and when Giles then introduced himself, he received the same reaction from her, but there was no such reaction when Buffy greeted her._

_She seemed to do it almost instinctively, and it made me wonder who had made her react to men that way, and how hard I could hit them.'_

* * *

"So Tara, how did you two meet?" Xander asked, thinking that if they got her talking, she might loosen up a little around them.

That didn't work though, as Willow began to speak before she had a chance to herself. "Tara and I had been going to the same Wicca group, and both realised that it was nothing more than a social club. We started to meet up away from the group, as we were the only ones who had a real interest in witchcraft, and things sort of progressed from there."

"Not only are you into witchcraft but also ventriloquism," Xander commented with a smile. Tara actually giggled at that, especially when Willow stuck her tongue out at him. "Seeing as no one else is offering, would you like to sit down?"

* * *

'_Tara nodded and we all took our places in the living room; Tara and Willow sitting on one couch, Buffy and I sitting on the other, and Giles sitting in his chair._

_Silence reigned for a few minutes, as nobody knew what to say._

_Again I tried to jump start a conversation with her, wanting to find out more about the person who had made my Willow happy again, by asking whether she like tea._

_When she said that she loved it, as it tasted far better than coffee, I could see Giles perking up at the prospect of having another willing tea drinker in the group._

_I've become to enjoy the drink, as much due to the fact it made Giles happy, as much as it was due to the taste itself. Buffy and Willow, however, were still averse to tea, preferring coffee whenever possible, but now with Tara in the mix they were outnumbered.'_

* * *

"Excellent, would you mind helping me in the kitchen?" Xander asked with a smile. "Giles allows me to make the tea now he's trained me to his satisfaction, but still won't allow me anywhere near his crockery alone, especially the quality stuff he keeps for special occasion like this."

After looking to Willow, who smiled and nodded her head, Tara accepted and they made their way to the kitchen. Once there, Tara had a problem meeting Xander's gaze, eventually doing so but with a look of resignation in her eyes.

"I-is this where you tell me to keep away from Willow?" Tara asked sadly.

"No, quite the opposite in fact," he assured her. "It's been a while since I've seen Willow glow like she is at the moment. I can tell that you are responsible for that, which has assured you a guaranteed passing grade in the 'best-friend inspection' you were expecting." She brightened a bit at that, probably thinking I wanted to be alone with her just to warn her off. "I'm also not going to do the 'hurt her and I'll hurt you' speech either; I could never hurt a lady, and Willow is more than capable of taking care of herself. I asked you out here to help, not only because Giles really won't let me touch the good chine alone, and because I wanted to speak to you without going through your avatar." When Xander caught Tara's look of confusion, he explained what he meant. "I've known Willow a very long time; she knows that you're shy around people, so she was trying to help by fielding your questions for you, which meant that we wouldn't be allowed to hear your lovely voice."

"W-why would you want to speak to me alone?"

She was starting to look scared, so Xander quickly alleviated her fears. "Hey, there's nothing to be worried about; I simply wanted to speak to the person that has brought back the Willow we all love and to thank you for it. I've been worried about her, but seeing how happy she is I'm not worried anymore."

She smiled gratefully at me before once again getting a worried look on her face. "A-are you OK that I'm a woman?"

"I am if you are," he responded. Xander received another giggle from her and it was nice to hear. "I've always believed that you don't fall in love with a person, you fall in love with a heart. Willow's fallen in love with yours, and I can tell by the way you look at her the feelings mutual. That's all I care about." Her eyes brightened up and she smiled, somehow making the room feel brighter. "Now that is more like it; you have a lovely smile and should use it more often."

* * *

'_She blushed and her hair fell in front of her face, as if it had been programmed to hide her face when she did so. Given the fact that she was a witch, it wouldn't surprise me if it had been._

_We spent the remainder of the time in comfortable silence until the tea was made; I allowed Tara to choose the blend of tea that she liked the most, so she would feel more comfortable._

_While we were preparing everything, I decided to try out a spell that Giles had me practising recently. It was a spell that allowed me to read aura's; I was a little apprehensive when Giles first brought it up, as magic and I had never seemed to get on, but Giles assured me that this type of spell could not have any adverse side effects, as it would either work or not._

_He said it would be useful when dealing with non-demon problems, like witches, as I'd be able to tell whether they were lying to me or not, and it would also allow me to tell if a person could be trusted or not. I began chanting the spell in my head, as I guessed that Tara would know what I was doing if I said it out loud, and luckily this is one of the few spells that could be cast without an aural incantation._

_Once the spell was working, I could see from Tara's aura that she was naturally a very honest person; telling lies was an almost foreign concept to her, and if she did lie she would feel a deep sense of guilt about it. All in all, she had one of the purest auras that I've ever seen._

_The one discrepancy was whatever had caused her extreme shyness and discomfort around men. I had a feeling that it has to do with her childhood; I'm pretty much an expert on dysfunctional families, so I could guess what it must have been like for her to act this way._

_I decided right then and there that she was now labelled as one of 'my girls' and would get all the rights and privileges that entailed, including doing whatever I could to bring her out of her shell._

_I'm brought out of my thoughts as the kettle began to whistle, so I poured the water into the pot to steep, and once we had everything ready, we headed back to the living room._

_When we entered, they all suddenly became silent and looked directly at me, telling me that I was the topic of conversation.'_

* * *

"I'm guessing that Buffy has been relaying the information that Alonna told her," Xander surmised.

"Yes, 'Alex', it seems that you've become quite adept at keeping secrets from the ones you care about," Buffy said to him, making Xander's blood boil at the way she had said Alex.

Xander put the tea down onto the table before he said anything more, just in case he dropped everything and had Ripper coming for him. "OK, it looks like we're going to have this discussion now. Before we do, Tara how much has Willow told you about us?"

Tara looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"You know that Willow is a witch, as I guess you are too." She hesitated but gave a brief nod. "Don't worry Tara," he assured her, "there's nothing wrong with being a witch, if I'm fine about my best friend being one why would I have any problems with anybody else being one? All I was getting at was that you must know something about the supernatural right?" Again she nodded, but this time without hesitation. Xander looked over to Buffy and Giles, who both nodded in answer to the unasked question. "What do you know about the Slayer?" he asked her.

"There are myths about a girl being chosen to fight vampires and demons, but I don't believe them."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at that, but Tara, however, took it that she was laughing at her, and started to go back into her shell again. Xander cast Buffy a quick glare before continuing. "Buffy wasn't laughing at you Tara; she simply found it funny that you don't believe she exists."

"Huh?"

"Tara, meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Tara turned to Buffy who smiled and waved at her. Tara blinked a few times before fainting; I managed to catch her before she hit the floor.

"I think she took that rather well," Xander said with a smile.

Xander gathered her in his arms and brought her over to the couch that Willow had vacated and gently laid her down, making sure that they didn't crowd her so she could breathe.

After a moment or two she came round. "Why am I on the couch?" she asked in confusion.

Willow went over and gently held her hand. "You fainted," she told her girlfriend. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Tara took a few moments to think about it before answering. "I-I'm not sure, although I did have a dream where Xander said that Buffy was the Vampire Slayer."

We all looked at each other in amusement before Willow responded. "Uh, sweetie, she **is** the Vampire Slayer."

"Oh."

* * *

'_It looked like she was going to faint again, but she managed to get her head around it that time._

_We then spent the next couple of hours explaining to Tara just what deciding to move to the Hellmouth to continue her education meant. We decided to go with brutal honesty, as it meant that there wouldn't be any sudden revelations later on._

_The only things that weren't talked about were the events that brought this about in the first place._

_That of course didn't last long as Buffy turned to face me.'_

* * *

"Now that everyone is caught up to speed, I think that 'Alex' here has a few things he wants to tell us?"

Hearing the way Buffy said Alex made Xander's blood boil again, and they could all see he had to physically stop himself from completely losing it.

"Don't take this the wrong way," Xander told her in a deceptively calm manner, "but you'll be lucky for me to speak to you at **all** if you address me like that again. By the time I decided to leave here last summer, I honestly had no intentions of coming back, **ever**. I had been cut out of all your lives, as I was a 'liability'. You all saw me as Xander the Zeppo, well I didn't want to **be** that anymore, so I decided that Alex would suit me better. Every person who has called me that did so with respect, so you either do the same or don't us it at all."

* * *

'_I honestly didn't realise I was still that angry about what happened until that point, but I guess I had done what I always did and put aside my own feelings, it was just that I never realised it this time._

_They all look shocked at my outburst, Giles less so as I've already spoken to him about how I feel. He also looked as though he had been half expecting this, which made me believe he had known I'd bottled it up and knew it would have been a matter of time before the bottle was uncorked.'_

* * *

"Giles, I'm going to go and train for a while and calm down. I'm sorry our first meeting didn't go so well Tara," he told her softly, feeling bad that the night had turned out the way it had, "I'll take you out for coffee tomorrow at lunch to make it up, if that's OK with you?"

She seemed shocked that Xander would be worried about her impression of him, let alone that he would want to take her for coffee. After a couple moments deliberation, she responded.

"I-I can't see why not."

Xander gave her a warm smile to indicate that she'd done nothing wrong tonight. "Great! I'll see you then."

* * *

'_Now that was sorted, as I would have hated to think that Tara thought she was in any way responsible for what had happened, I went downstairs without a second look to the others._

_After a quick warm up, I began to attack the punching bag ferociously, releasing all the anger that's been released in the last few minutes. I heard Buffy coming down the stairs but I ignored her, concentrating on the spot I was hitting on the bag and nothing else._

_I alternate between punches and kicks, each time hitting the exact same spot, the sound of the impact resonating around the room. Knowing that I'd have to speak to her eventually, I used whatever anger I had left to fire one last punch into the bag, which burst it on impact and sent it flying across the room.'_

* * *

"Feel better?" Buffy asked softly.

Xander turned round to face her with a small smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Not so much, no," he replied.

Buffy walked up to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, Xander's arms instinctively moving to rest on her shoulders. Xander could feel that Buffy was shaking slightly, and held her a little more tightly.

"I'm sorry Xander," she whispered, "I knew that you were unhappy about how we treated you, but I thought that we were past that. I never thought you were still this angry."

"Neither did I," he admitted. "That's because I did what I always did; I suppressed it. I hadn't meant to, but I've gotten so used to it that I'd done it without thinking. Having you use that name to mock me opened the floodgates I guess."

"I don't know what to say," she told him.

Xander could tell from her tone that she was trying her best to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall, probably thinking about the way she had treated him before.

"What is there to say? I shouldn't have bottled it up the way I did; I should have spoken to you sooner about how I really felt."

"That's as may be, but you wouldn't have been feeling that way if we had treated you with a bit more respect last year," she admitted.

"I can't deny that, as to be perfectly honest it's true, but you can't change the past, you can only try to ensure you don't repeat it in the future."

She didn't say anything; she simply nodded and held him a little tighter. After a few minutes she loosened her grip and moved to look at him, although she didn't actually let go.

"Are you ready to come back up?" she asked. "Tara is still here, it seems you've made an impression on her and she wanted to make sure you were OK before she and Willow left."

"That's nice of her," Xander commented with a smile. "I can tell that she has a big problem with trusting men, so I guess with the way Willow talks about me she's decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. What do you think of her?" he asked.

"I like her," Buffy replied, "I know that I freaked when Willow told us about their relationship, but now I've met her I can see why Willow likes her so much."

"I know what you mean, I've only just met her and I already consider her a friend. I need to help her get out of her shell more, especially if she's going to start helping us out."

Buffy pulled away from him and sent him a subdued but no less effective glare. "Why would she do that? Why would we let her?"

Xander matched her glare with one of his own. "I won't even bother to answer the second one, but as to why; combine her love for Willow, her desire to make a difference using the skills she has, and the fact like she seems to be the type of person who couldn't **not** help, and I can almost guarantee that she'll want to help out." Seeing the way she was looking, Xander decided to compromise a little. "I don't suggest we let her go out on patrol, at least not straight away, but Giles will always like more help with research. I can give her some lessons in self defence, which will make getting Willow to start training a lot easier, and then after a while we can begin to take her with us on patrol."

Buffy took a few moments to think about what Xander had said before allowing herself to relax her posture. "We can always use more people with research, and getting her and Willow to learn how to defend themselves is a good idea for the same reasons you and Angel gave Cordy." She was silent for a couple of moments before she continued. "I'm sorry about saying we may not want to let her help, I know that we can't tell people whether they can fight or not. I just hate seeing more people fighting a war that I'm supposed to be fighting alone."

Seeing tears begin to form in her eyes, Xander pulled her into an embrace, trying to show just how much she meant to him. "You should never have to fight this alone, it's those bastards at the Council that wanted you to think like that; that way they could control you better. You have to realise that you're not alone Buffy, we're all with you on this and that's how it's going to stay."

She nodded but made no move to leave Xander's embrace, which was more than fine by him. Eventually after a few minutes she moved away from him, although not before standing on tiptoes and kissing him lightly but lovingly on the lips.

"Let's go back up; we still have your little adventures to talk about."

"I didn't think I would get away with that."

* * *

'_We went back upstairs and sat down in the living room with the others. I went to drink my tea; it's cold but I'm too thirsty to care and quickly drain the cup._

_I'm left alone for a minute or two, before Giles tried to get the second part of the conversation started, hopefully without any further blow ups.'_

* * *

"Now we're all here, why don't you explain how you managed to stand down the most feared vampire still alive without any weapons?" Giles asked.

Xander could tell that Giles wasn't too happy that he'd done that, but as it happened two years ago there wasn't a lot he could really do about it.

"That was something that I had wondered about since that night; I didn't actually know how I did that myself until our trip to LA. Angel and I had a little chat to finally clear the air between us and it came up." He turned to Buffy. "I always thought that he had just turned up to leave the flowers to torment you some more. Angel told me different; he said that Angelus had gone there with the intention of killing and probably turning you, I'm guessing that he then planned to use you to get to the rest of us. Angelus knew that he could have killed me, but realised he would have gone down with me had he tried, and that scared him enough to leave."

There was stunned silence for a few seconds, Giles being the first to retain the power of speech. "You **scared** Angelus?" he asked incredulously.

"That's what Angel told me, and I see no reason why he would lie. Strange huh?"

He just nodded absently before the shock fully wore off. "Bloody hell!"

That sentiment was quickly supported by Buffy and Willow, Tara looked dumbstruck that I would do such a thing; Xander assumed that she wasn't used to dealing with men that tried to protect women. She did look at me for a couple of seconds before putting her hand up, very tentatively I must add, as if she was in class.

"I-I have a question."

Xander smiled warmly at her to try and reassure her. "Go right ahead Tara."

"Why were you there at the hospital?"

"Honestly?" She nodded. "I was worried that Angelus, or some other vampire or demon, would try to use it to their advantage, and I wasn't going to let that happen. One of my friends was at risk and that's something I couldn't just ignore. The problem was that I was so focused about being there to protect her, I forgot to bring any weapons to do it properly," he chuckled a little bit, but no one really finds it funny. True genius is rarely recognised.

"You could have been killed," Buffy said. Her voice sounded very small, more like a child than the strong woman that she was.

Xander held her hand in his and give it a little squeeze before he said anything. "Over the last few years we all could have been killed at one time or another. Hell Buffy, you **did** die for a couple of minutes, the longest minutes in my life I have to add. What we do is dangerous by nature, and if we stopped doing things that could get us killed, then we might as well leave town and take up knitting. I have to admit that I would make sure I had a weapon of some sort if I had to do it over again, like a twelve-gauge, but I have never thought that I shouldn't have gone, especially considering the alternative."

They all had to agree that, although Xander hadn't exactly thought it through, it was a very good thing he had been there that night.

Giles decided to keep the conversation going. "Enough about that; how did you get involved with a group of zombies?" he asked.

"Jack O'toole and I got into a little bump, and he decided to introduce me to Katie."

"Who was Katie?" Willow asked.

"His knife. He made me his chauffeur, one thing led to another and Bam! Xander and the zombie gang."

Buffy gave Xander's hand a little squeeze. "Why didn't you try to come to us?"

"I did; I talked to each of you that night, trying to ask for help and finding that I was in the way, as usual. The only one who took any notice of me was Faith when I saved her life, although not in the way I initially intended, but even she was too busy to actually offer me any help once she got what she wanted. In the end, I had to deal with it myself, and that included the bomb I eventually worked out they were making. I got one of them to tell me where it was, although he did lose his head over the whole thing, literally. I got to the High School and I saw what you were dealing with while I was dealing with my own problems. Eventually, after taking out the other members, I got Jack to disarm the bomb that was in the boiler room, as I didn't have the time or the full memories to do it myself."

There was silence for a few moments before Giles started up the conversation again. "What about the bomb?"

"What about it?"

Giles glares at Xander for several seconds, and he could almost see him counting to ten, before he continued. "What happened to it?" he asked with forced patience.

"The next day, after listening to all of you telling me that it was a good thing I stayed away from the action that night, I went into the boiler room and dismantled it. I was surprised that it was still there to be honest, as I thought that the janitor checked the boiler room daily, not that it makes much difference now. I kept the components and used them when we made the bomb to blow up the Mayor."

"Why didn't you tell us the next morning?" Giles asked.

Xander looked at him as though he'd grown a second head, until he saw him smile. He then knew why Giles had asked; he was aware of why Xander probably said nothing, but he wants him to spell it out for the girls.

"The way you had all been acting towards me? Not a chance, you would have used it as more evidence that I needed to be kept out of the slaying for my own good."

Willow immediately tried to protest. "I'm sure that…"

"Come off it Willow," Xander said interrupting her, "it wouldn't have mattered to you all that I had saved all of your lives, and in effect the world's, by doing what I did, just that I had been in the situation to begin with."

Buffy looked like she was going to correct him on his indirectly saving the world, and he was quick to rectify that. "If that bomb had gone off, you would have all died and there would have been no-one to stop the Hellmouth from opening, meaning end of the world. All you would have thought is that I had gone and got caught into more trouble that wouldn't have happened if I had just stayed out of the action. I'm hoping that you would think differently if the same thing happened again but I know what the outcome would have been last year."

They all sat around in silence for a few minutes allowing everything that had been revealed tonight to settle in. "Now that my past has been brought into light, why don't we leave Giles to have some quality time alone; I'm sure that he would like to ring Olivia and let her know she still exists in his eyes."

It had been a while since Giles had seen her, as she had to go back to England for work reasons and has since had trouble getting back due to scheduling difficulties. Xander knew that Giles missed her, but didn't want to admit it.

"Its early morning over in England right now Xander," Giles pointed out.

"I'm sure it will take you enough time to work out what to say to her that, when you **do** call, it will be at a reasonable hour."

Giles suddenly looked at Xander, and he knew that Giles had figured out what he'd been doing. "You do realise we haven't talked about your road trip?"

"Yep," Xander replied shortly.

"Well?"

"There's not a lot to talk about," Xander replied stubbornly.

Giles counted to ten once more, and then continued. "I think that you should tell them about Oxnard."

Tara perked up at the mention of the town. "Oxnard? I come from Oxnard."

"Really?" Xander said in surprise, realising what a small world it was. "Well I was living there for a while during the summer, nothing much happened and then I came back."

Once he could tell that Xander wasn't going to say anything more, Giles spoke up again. "Fine, if you won't tell them I will. While Xander was there, he noticed that they had a rather large vampire population, so he decided to stay around and patrol more extensively than he had at his other stops. He was very effective at it, and soon the number of vampires around to prey on the townsfolk went down. Rumours started being spread throughout the town in the underworld; the most believed one was that a Slayer had moved in and was on a mission to kill anything without a heartbeat. Needless to say, with their numbers dwindling rather quickly; they started leaving in droves. From what I've heard, they still haven't returned in anywhere near to the levels that they once were, for fear she will return."

Buffy looks at Xander with an incredulous look on her face. "They thought that you were a **Slayer**?"

"It's not my fault that I look hot in a skirt," he replied with a shrug.

Buffy giggled for a moment but quickly suppressed it. "You know that's not what I meant."

"You meant how could a lowly human be mistaken for the almighty Slayer?"

She went to nod in the affirmative, but quickly realised what she would be nodding to, so she decided to say nothing.

Not wanting to turn this into another argument, Xander decided to change tactics a little. "Do you know that vampires that don't live on a Hellmouth are not as fast or as strong as those that do?"

Everyone but Giles shook their heads. "I do, vampires on the Hellmouth are sometimes double the speed and/or strength of those that do not. However, even those away from a Hellmouth have strength and speed much greater than a human; you did extremely well and shouldn't try to downplay your achievements."

His praise made Xander sit a little taller, and once again he thought that his life would have been a whole lot different if he'd been blessed with a father like Giles.

"Sorry," he replied apologetically, "force of habit. You shouldn't forget that my tactics were/are different to normal fighting tactics, well normal Slayer tactics anyway."

"What do you mean 'normal Slayer tactics'?" Buffy asked, her tone indicating that she had taken what Xander had just said the wrong way.

"All I mean is that a Slayer can go toe to toe with a vamp and know they can win, Hellmouth enhancements or not. I will **never** have that certainty, no matter how hard I train, and I didn't have the training back then that I do now, so I **had** to do things differently. I mainly used sneak attacks and hit and runs, rarely having to get into any sustained fights with vamps. As I said before, the vamps that live away from a Hellmouth aren't as fast or as strong so I actually had an advantage, having fought Hellmouth enhanced vamps for three years made them look like they were slower than normal. If I did have to duke it out, I usually managed to get through it unscathed, especially as I fight dirty and had the element of surprise. My win/loss ratio was definitely of the good, but I have had more than one close call and the first aid lessons I got during High School definitely came in handy." He could see Buffy's expression, and so he tried to soften it a bit and reassure her. "There was nothing too serious; I just don't want it to sound like I was finding it easy. It was hard and tiring, but as strange as it may seem, I enjoyed it."

Buffy smiled and nodded, as she understood Xander's sentiment. Fighting for your life is, well, like fighting for your life, but the rush you get from winning is very, very nice.

Tara looked at Xander for a few moments, turning her head from one angle to another as though she were scrutinizing him, and then her eyes widened. "I remember you, I think."

"You do?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, I think you saved my life."

You could hear a pin drop for a couple of moments after that statement.

"**What**?!"

* * *

'_While both Buffy and Willow loudly vocalised their shock, I was unable to say much of anything._

_I knew that I had probably saved some lives during my time in Oxnard, it was the reason I'd done what I'd done after all, but it's not often that I actually got meet one of them after the fact, let alone one that recognised me._

_Realising that everyone is now looking at her, Tara decided to explain.'_

* * *

"I was walking home with a couple of friends, when several vamps came out from nowhere and surrounded us. I tried to do a spell, but I was too scared to focus properly. As one of them went after my friend, Julie, it suddenly turned to dust, causing all of us to jump, including the remaining vamps. A figure suddenly came running at one of the vamps and before it had a chance to move, it had been hit with something large and had gone flying through the air. The figure then threw something at another vamp, dusting it in the process, as the last vamp standing ran away. The figure then went over to the vamp that was lying on the ground and staked it before it could do anything. He then came over to check that we were all right, none of us had moved an inch we were so frightened. As he approached, the light from the streetlamps illuminated his face and who I saw was you."

As she finished her story, she slowly rose up from the couch and walked over to Xander. After a couple of moment's hesitation, bent down and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered before quickly straightening up and returning to her seat, her hair once again falling over her face to try and hide the blush that had appeared while Willow hugged her close.

"You're more than welcome," Xander told her sincerely. "I'm sorry that I didn't recognise you before, but I used to get so focussed on killing the vampires, that anything afterwards was pretty much done on autopilot until I calmed down. Were your friends OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, I told them that they were muggers and they believed me. I'm not entirely sure whether that's was a good thing or not anymore."

Giles nodded in understanding and, seeing her look of worry, decided to put her mind at ease. "Don't worry, even though they don't realise what happened consciously, their sub-conscious will ensure that they take extra precautions when they're out at night; keeping to well-lit areas, staying in groups, that sort of thing. You'll notice that the longer you're in Sunnydale, everyone has had some sort of experience with the supernatural here, but apart from the people in this room and a handful of others, no one remembers anything. However, they mostly follow the rules that I've told you, although on the Hellmouth those things aren't always enough."

"I did notice that they were more careful when going out," she admitted, "I jut hope that's enough."

* * *

'_We all sat in a comfortable silence for a while as Giles went to make us another pot of tea. When he returned, we kept to more light-hearted topics for the next hour or so, just enjoying each other's company._

_Tara opened up a little more, her shyness around Giles and myself waning a little, but she still acted a little uncomfortably when she was in close proximity to us_

_When I saw Giles yawn, I realised that we'd been there long enough; Giles may be a man of leisure now, but that doesn't mean that he liked to stay up all night when he didn't have to.'_

* * *

"I think that it's time to make a move," Xander said as he got up off the couch and turned to Buffy. "As it's dark, we better escort Tara to her dorm first, then I'll leave you and Willow at yours and then make my way home, of course ringing when I get there so you know I'm fine."

"Cool with me," Buffy replied with a smile. "Have a nice night Giles; I'll ring to let you know we're safe."

Giles nodded in thanks, and then wrote his number on a piece of paper and handed it to Tara. "Here is my number; for my own piece of mind would you ring me to let me know you got home safely?"

She took the paper and gave him a small nod, doing the same by giving her number to Giles. "O-of course Mr. Giles," she replied.

"Please call me Giles, all my friends do."

Both Tara and Willow smiled at him, a small tear forming in Willow's eyes at the open acceptance of Tara from Giles.

Xander looked at his watch and did a bit of mental arithmetic. "I may have used it as a diversionary tactic," Xander began, "but it would be an idea to ring Olivia; I know you've been putting it off."

"I will," Giles assured him, knowing that Xander was right and that he had been putting it off. "Goodnight Xander."

* * *

'_After another round of goodbyes we take our leave._

_On a silent agreement, Buffy and I led the other two the longer way to the dorms, not using the usual short cuts through the cemeteries, that way ensuring that there was less chance of running into any of the undead._

_Neither one of us was too worried about dusting a vamp or two to get home, as we'd done it plenty of times before, but Tara hadn't and we'd like to keep it that way for a little while longer at least._

_Once we got to Tara's, I left Buffy and Willow there as they had decided to have a 'girlie chat', that way Buffy would be able to get to know Tara a little better, especially as she should be more relaxed without me and Giles there._

_I took Tara's number so I can ring them once I got in, and after kissing Buffy, hugging Willow and a smile and a wave to Tara, I left them to it and made my way home._

_After checking to see whether I had my usual supplies, a couple of stakes, a cross and a few vials of holy water, I decided to take a detour through Restview cemetery, thinking that taking out a newbie or two would be fun._

_After half an hour with no luck, I began to make my way home until I heard a man yell out in pain. I ran towards the sound and found that Riley and a few of his Initiative colleagues had been pinned down by a group of vamps and a couple of T'homp'nar demons._

_No, I didn't make that name up. Honest._

_The vamps weren't going to be too much of a problem, however only certain mystical items could kill a T'homp'nar demon. As I didn't have any of those items on me, I knew that helping Riley and the others retreat was the best that I could do._

_Seeing that Riley was about to be eaten by a vamp, I threw one of the vials of holy water I had on me at it. Riley might not be on my Christmas card list, but he didn't deserve to die at the hands of some vamp. The vamp in question screamed in agony as the vial impacted on its face, causing the skin to bubble. As it brought up its hands to its face on instinct, it made it easy for me to stake it._

_I didn't bother to check on Riley, as while I might not have wanted him dead, it didn't mean that I cared whether he'd got a boo boo or not, and started charging towards the other vamps.'_

* * *

"Riley!" Xander shouted as he reached the vampires. "You need to retreat!"

"Get out of here Harris," Riley replied angrily, "you don't know what you're doing!"

* * *

'_I rolled my eyes at him, as while he was telling me that I didn't know what I was doing, I had been taking on two more of the vampires, who were annoyed that I had killed one of their own._

_Knowing that I needed to make this quick, especially as I didn't have a sword on me, I used the momentum of one of the vamps to throw it into the other, causing them both to fall to the floor._

_I staked one before they could get up to defend itself, and then punted the other one in the head to keep it dazed so I could stake that one as well. I then turned my attention to Riley once more.'_

* * *

"I can't fight them all Riley," Xander told him, "and none of your men have any weapons that can actually **kill** demons, so you can either order a retreat or watch them all **die**!"

He looked like he was about to start on Xander for a moment, but as he realised the situation that he and his men were in, he nodded.

"Fall back!" Riley ordered.

His men were more than happy to obey that order, and made a run for Xander and Riley's position and started to make their way to their frat house as fast as possible. Realising that the vamps would probably catch them up, Xander decided it was time to even the odds.

"Riley, it'll be wise to try and grab a branch or something to help fight off the vamps," he told him, "don't even try to take on the others, unless you have a Quintotha blade on you?"

"What's a Quintotha blade?" Riley asked, which answered that question.

"Just keep away from them if you can," Xander told him, trying not to roll his eyes again, "and telling the others would probably be a good idea."

Riley nodded and relayed the info to the others as Xander took out his cell and called Giles.

"Rupert Giles speaking," Giles answered.

"Giles, it's Xander. I have a slight demon problem that requires special attention; do you have any Quintotha blades?" he asked.

"I have two; please tell me you're not dealing with T'homp'nar demons?"

"I wish I could," Xander replied. "There are four of them, teaming up with a group of vamps. I've taken out a few vamps, but without those blades…" he trailed off, as both men knew that he'd no chance of defeating them.

"Quite. I'll contact Buffy; she'll come over here and then meet up with you," Giles told him.

"She'll probably still be at Tara's; she and Willow stayed to chat as they don't have classes until the afternoon. It'll be wise to tell her that I've got Riley and some of his men with me, and that we're heading towards their frat house," Xander suggested, not wanting to surprise Buffy with another of her ex-boyfriends.

"Couldn't you leave the bugger there?" Giles asked angrily.

"I could," Xander replied, ignoring the shiver that went down his spine whenever ripper came out to play, "but that bloody conscience I've go won't let me. Remind me to find a spell to remove it later."

"I'll make a note on my calendar. Be careful Xander, and don't take any unnecessary risks."

"I give you my word. Bye."

"Godspeed."

Xander put the cell away and turned to Riley. "Buffy will be meeting us on the way with weapons to kill the demons chasing us."

"Walsh wants one alive for studying," Riley told him, seemingly ignoring the risks involved.

Xander almost stopped to glare at him, but as he remembered why he was running in the first place he managed to stop himself. "I don't give a damn **what** she wants, what **I** want is to live through this in one piece and, for some strange reason, I don't want to see you or your men get eviscerated, which means they die."

He went to nod in agreement but stopped himself. "We still need to complete our mission."

"Is your mission worth the lives of all your men," Xander asked him angrily, "because if you try to go up against them with the tinker toys you call weapons, they won't find enough left of you all to fill a single matchbox. Choose."

Riley spoke before Xander even finished his sentence. "My men."

"So there **is** a good guy hidden behind all of that cloak and dagger bullshit you've been pulling."

* * *

'_We didn't say anything else to each other, as we had to deal with the vamps that had finally caught up with us. I noticed that Riley and his men must really like eating their spinach, as we'd all been running flat out for a while, and yet they weren't even breathing hard._

_I hadn't exactly been gasping for breath myself, but I'd been fighting with, and against, things faster and stronger than myself for years, and the meditative techniques I know help to regulate my breathing. These guys clearly hadn't by the way they'd so easily been overrun, but they didn't show any sign of being tired._

_As we get closer to the college grounds, I spotted Buffy running towards us at almost a blur. I went to speak to her, but she suddenly jumped in the air over our heads and landed a vicious kick to the chest of one of the T'homp'nar demons behind us._

_As she was jumping over our heads, I heard this thud beside me and, when I look down, I noticed that Buffy had dropped one of the blades next to me, so I picked it up and joined her in the fight._

_Riley and his men kept the vamps busy while we took on the T'homp'nar, leading them away from the others so we didn't have to worry about them. Buffy and I fought back-to-back, making sure that neither one of us could blindsided. The blades weren't that long, so we had no choice but to get in close to make them effective, something that didn't cause Buffy too much of a problem, but I found myself soon taking more than my fair share of lumps, and if I didn't take these things out soon I'd be a Xander-shaped corpse._

_I quickly decided that I had been fighting too conservatively, so I changed my tactics to classic Xander fighting; the ancient art of dumbass. As one of the demons charges at me, I baseball slid between its legs and thrust the blade into, if it were human, its groin._

_I didn't expect too much to happen, I'd been running out of ideas by that point, but it must have been more important than its groin, as it dropped lifelessly to the ground and then dissolved into a puddle of turquoise ooze.'_

* * *

"Buffy, you have to go for the groin!" Xander shouted to her.

"Can I channel Cordy for a moment; eww!" Buffy replied.

"You can channel Liberace for all I care," he yelled in exasperation, "but stab them in the groin while you're doing it!"

* * *

'_Buffy shuddered slightly, but took my advice and went for the groin, quickly taking out one of the demons before starting on the second._

_I in the meantime had been trying desperately to dodge the barrage of blows that the other T'homp'nar had been raining down upon me. I could see its tactic; by constantly keeping me on the move, I didn't have the opportunity to get in close for the killing blow._

_The vamps that had been helping the T'homp'nar had all been dealt with by Riley and his men, who were now watching how you're supposed to deal with demons, by __**killing**__ them, not capturing them._

_Seeing that Riley still had one of those fancy tazers with him, I ran over to him, ensuring that the T'homp'nar gave chase, and took the weapon from him, causing him to shout at me to give it back. Not having time to think of a witty retort, I simply ignored him and continued running, taking a quick look back over my shoulder every now and then to make sure I was still being followed._

_Relying on my soldier memories, I reconfigured the rifle so that it would overload, having realised that one of these blasters would give me a nice diversion when it went boom. When it begins to glow and crackle, I had to suppress the urge to throw it away too soon, as I only had one chance at this working._

_When it looked like it was about to reach critical, I span round and threw the rifle at the demon chasing me; the gun exploded on impact and sent the demon flying several feet in the air before landing unceremoniously on the ground. I chase after it and, before it had a chance to get up and defend itself, forced the blade into its groin right up to the hilt, watching it die and then dissolve, wiping the ooze off of the blade._

_I allowed myself a few moments to get my breath back before I made my way back to the others. When I got there, I could see that Buffy had taken out the last T'homp'nar and was now talking to Riley and the others._

_Now, when I say __**talking**__, I mean she was verbally ripping them all a new one and trying not to beat them all into mush.'_

* * *

"You stupid son of a bitch!" Buffy screamed at Riley. "It's one thing to try and capture demons, but to come out with nothing but those stupid… lightning thingies, when you have no idea if they'll work is suicidal!"

Riley and the others were all looking like they were being told off by their parents, but the testosterone in his body decided to make Riley argue the case. "Listen Buffy, we know what we're doing, and how we do things is none of your business."

Seeing that the situation was going to degenerate very fast, Xander decided to try and calm down the situation. Not because he was trying to save Riley, but because he didn't want to spend the next couple of hours digging four graves. "Riley, you want to use the tinker toys that's up to you," Xander told him, "but it might be wise if you keep some stakes and crosses with you as back up, maybe some of the more mundane weapons the army can provide like pistols or shotguns. We're not telling you what to do," he went on when he saw Riley about to argue, "we simply don't want to have to deal with the fallout of having US military personnel dying in our town in droves, something that would have happened tonight if we hadn't helped you guys out and you know it."

"Fine," Riley said angrily, "I'll suggest it. We need to get back and report in." He turned and began to walk off, but after a few steps he stopped and turns to face them again. "Thanks for the help, I owe you one."

He then continued to walk away, his men following him after also giving their thanks to Buffy and Xander. After they're out of sight, Buffy started to hug the life out of him, balancing it out by kissing him senseless.

"Are you OK?" she asked as she released him.

"I'm fine Buff," he assured her, "a few bumps and bruises, but nothing serious. How are you?"

"Nothing that my Slayer healing can't deal with by morning," she replied with a shrug. "How exactly did you get into this mess?"

"I took a shortcut through Restview, thinking that I could wind down with staking a newbie or two. I had almost given up when I heard one of Riley's men shout out in pain. I went over to find the vamps and T'homp'nar working together to take them out."

"Why would they work with thumper demons?" Buffy wondered.

Even though Xander knew she mispronounced their names on purpose, he still smiled. "No idea but Giles might; I won't be asking until tomorrow, but I better ring and tell him everything's fine now."

Xander got on the cell and after explaining the situation to Giles, and to promise that he would come in and see him tomorrow, he ended the call and went to put the cell away again, only for Buffy to take it from him.

"I promised to ring Willow and Tara to let them know we're OK," she explained as she began to dial.

* * *

'_Realising that she would probably be on the phone for a while, and thanking Jarod silently for setting me up with the unlimited minutes, I took Buffy's hand in mine and indicated that we better walk while she talked, as standing around in the middle of a cemetery at night was never a good idea, and doubly so when that cemetery resided on a Hellmouth._

_By the time she was off the phone, we were at the proverbial fork in the road, as we were midway between the dorms and my humble subterranean apartment.'_

* * *

"Willow's decided to stay over at Tara's tonight so they can talk some more about the 'real world'," Buffy told him. "That means that I'm going to be all alone in my dorm room. Whatever shall I do?"

The innocent smile on her face contrasted with the wicked gleam in her eyes. "I might have an idea," Xander replied, the gleam in his eyes matching her own.

"And that is?" She tried to sound innocent, but the hitch in her voice gave her away.

"That I, being the caring and thoughtful boyfriend that I am, keep you company," he told her.

"What about work?" she asked.

"I don't have to be in until 10 tomorrow, so I'm sure I'll have time to go back to mine and get changed."

"If you're sure?"

"Spending time with you is on my top 10 list of things I enjoy most," he assure her, ducking down to plant a quick kiss on her lips, "joint first in fact."

"Joint with what?"

"Thinking about spending time with you," he replied.

She kissed him deeply when he said that, her face looking flushed when she pulled away. "Good answer," she told him huskily.


	13. Chapter Twelve

_**Chapter Twelve**_

'_It had been a couple of weeks since our encounter with Riley and his men, and since then we've helped each other out a few more times. Although there was nothing official, an alliance has been formed between ourselves and Riley and the other men; they had started to realise that, without taking the necessary tools to kill demons with them when going out on retrieval missions, there was a good chance that they wouldn't come back._

_It seemed that they'd had a pretty high turnover of recruits in the Initiative, either because they requested transfers after their first mission, or because they didn't __**survive**__ their first mission. Since our assistance and suggestions, their mortality rate had gone down, and less transfer requests had been put in. To be honest, I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not, given that I didn't like them being around at all, but I had little option but to play the hand I'd, we'd, been dealt._

_A few of the men weren't too happy that our little alliance hadn't been cleared with Walsh, but once they'd been brought over the coals by her for not returning from a mission with the demon they had been sent to retrieve, even though they had barely made it back at __**all**__, they soon came around to our way of thinking._

_Walsh still didn't like the fact that we were still running around unleashed; Buffy and Willow were finding it extremely difficult to get passing grades in her class, something that does __**not**__ make for a happy Willow, as she's never had anything lower than a B+ in a class, and that was because she had the flu the week before the assignment, and was physically incapable of doing it until the night before._

_Walsh had also left orders that if we interfered or obstructed the soldiers in any way, we were to be detained. I did not want to know what would happen if Riley or anyone else had followed those orders, nor would they want to know what __**I**__ would do if they tried._

_Luckily, Riley and the others had understood the hidden meaning in the orders; they had no problems in retrieving demons for Walsh and the other scientists to experiment on, but were not quite so happy at the thought of doing the same to humans. They also realised that we'd put up a fight, one they probably wouldn't win._

_Demon activity had shot right up recently, and we were all finding it difficult to keep up with them, whether it was catching them or killing them. The other thing that had been worrying us, or at least worrying me, Buffy and the gang, was that the demons were actually working together, including demons that under normal circumstances despised each other._

_We've been trying to work out what has got the demons working together, and so far we hadn't been able come up with a lot. Giles has been frantically looking through his books, looking for prophecies or anything that might indicate what we were dealing with, but so far he'd come up with a blank. Tara has been helping him out a lot; research seemed to be a speciality of hers and she was happy to help however she could._

_Tara has quickly become a close member of the Scooby Gang; I gave her the initiation ritual of the proper way to eat a Twinkie a couple of days after our first meeting, as no one could think of any reason to put off the inevitable. It turned out that she loved Twinkies almost as much as I do and already knew how to eat them properly. If I hadn't already made my mind up about her, that moment would have definitely sealed it; I almost kissed her I was so happy, but refrained myself as I knew she'd probably have a stroke from embarrassment, and I'd have been fricasseed by Willow and Buffy. I hadn't really had anyone around since Jesse that had the same appreciation for the golden snack as myself, and was more than happy to have one again._

_I've met with Tara for coffee half a dozen times at lunch since the first time I'd offered, talking about anything and everything. I'm hoping to get her used to the fact that not all men are dangerous and its beginning to work; she's no longer uncomfortable when around either Giles or myself, but she still found it difficult when we were at the Bronze and were around men she didn't know._

_I know that it would take time for that to change, it's only been a fortnight after all, but once she had built up her self-confidence, and realised that the men she'd dealt with were the exception as opposed to the rule, I had no doubt in my mind that she would be fine._

_It turned out that Tara has got quite the sense of humour, and has on more than one occasion rendered me speechless with a perfectly timed comment during a conversation; the first time she did that, Giles couldn't stop laughing for a full five minutes when he saw the look on my face, and that was after he sprayed the mouthful of tea he was drinking across the room. The fact that she had managed to maintain her innocent expression only increased the power of the pun._

_Another change to have happened was that both Willow and Tara were now included in the training sessions. Willow was against the idea at first, but once we explained why we wanted to do it, she began to waver. Once we pulled our trump card, Tara's safety, she caved faster than a dieter in a chocolate factory._

_We were winding down a research/training session a couple of days ago, when the buzzer that indicated when someone was at the door went off. Giles went upstairs to see who it was, leaving us to practise by ourselves; I normally practised with Tara while Willow paired off with Buffy._

_I decided that this would better help Tara with her confidence around men, having the chance to beat me up on a regular basis without any repercussions. The other reason was that I knew that Willow would have a very hard time sparring with me; we've been friends for far too long, and I knew she hated the thought of hitting me, even if it was just practise._

_Giles came back a couple of minutes later, and I could tell that whoever it was at the door had come as a shock to him. He looked at each one of us in turn, before his gaze rested on Willow.'_

* * *

"Um, Willow, there's someone here to see you," Giles told her.

As Willow was about to ask who it was, the person in question came down the stairs. "Oz," Willow said in surprise.

"Willow," Oz greeted as stoically as always.

"Xander."

* * *

'_Yes, I know it was lame, but it had the desired effect; it removed a little of the tension that was swirling around the room in waves. Anyway, I was still annoyed that I missed out using that joke back in LA, and wasn't about to miss out again._

_Silence reigned in the training room for a few moments before Oz walked up to Willow.'_

* * *

"Can I talk to you?" Oz asked.

"Sure," Willow replied instantly, and went to leave with Oz, barely sparing enough time to even glance at Tara.

* * *

'_Tara was understandably upset that her girlfriend would so willingly leave with her ex, especially without so much as a word to her. Seeing that she was trying to hold back tears, I went over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, aware that she was still wary of me touching her._

_She surprised me by spinning round and grabbing hold of me, silently crying against my chest. Buffy came over and joined the hug, trying to comfort our newest member as possible. I could see that Giles wanted to show his support as well, but knew that Tara would probably freak out, so he simply hovered around, hoping that by simply being there it would be enough._

_After a couple of minutes, Tara had calmed down enough for me to talk to her, and I gently raised her chin so that she would be looking at me when I did. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her face wet was with tears.'_

* * *

"Tara, I know that this looks bad, but seeing Oz again has probably brought back a lot of memories to the surface for Willow," Xander began, trying to find the right words. "I'm not in any way condoning how she left here, but I know Willow; she's probably so shocked to see him again that she's running on autopilot right now. As soon as she has her wits back she'll contact you and apologise for how she left, I'm sure of it."

"What if she wants him back?" Tara asked softly, trying to hold back more tears

Although she had said it as a question, everyone could see the defeated look in her eyes, and knew that she'd already made up her mind as to whom Willow had chosen.

Xander hugged her a little tighter, whilst maintaining eye contact with her at all times. "She doesn't," he assured her firmly but gently. "Yes, Oz was a part of her life but he was the past, you're the future and nothing is going to change that."

She turned to Buffy, who simply nodded in agreement, her eyes conveying that she believed the same. Giles too nodded his agreement when she caught his eye.

At her indication, Buffy and Xander let her go and, after she wiped the tears from her eyes, she looked at them both and gave them a small smile of gratitude, the defeated look now replaced with one of hope.

"Thanks," she told them sincerely, "I needed to hear that. I think I better go home; I'm not really in the mood to finish my training tonight, if that's OK with you?"

"Of course it is," Xander assured her, knowing that while she didn't necessarily enjoy the training, she took it seriously. "Why doesn't Buffy take you while I stay here and finish up," he suggested.

"You won't say anything to Willow, will you?"

"I promise that I won't have a go at her," Xander replied, "but I **will** talk to her."

* * *

'_Tara knew that I would talk to Willow one way or the other, there was no way that I couldn't given the circumstances, but she also knew that I kept my promises; I wouldn't make things worse by speaking out of turn._

_She walked off with Buffy, after giving me another quick hug and Buffy giving me a kiss, and I continued with my training, that way allowing any anger I had to be burnt off before I saw Willow again. I know that she'd come back here before going home as she has left her books here; she came to Giles' right after college, and she'd need them again tomorrow._

_Giles stayed down with me for a while and we sparred a little; he didn't hold back his blows as he also had a little anger to drain away. He'd seen how happy Willow was with Tara, and didn't want anything to ruin that, especially not the person who caused her a lot of pain._

_I had to admit that my anger towards Oz had gone; I couldn't exactly stay angry at him for cheating on, Willow when she had cheated on him with me. I was, however, deeply disappointed in him, as I had genuinely thought that he would never do anything to harm Willow like that, no matter what the circumstances were._

_I could also see why he'd had to leave when he did. His fear that the wolf inside him could take over was something I could sympathise with; my little stint as Hyena Boy had given me a good insight into what he had been feeling. I used to think that Willow and Oz could go the distance, but seeing her with Tara, I couldn't imagine her with anyone else._

_By the time that Giles and I had finished putting each other through our paces, sparring in both armed and unarmed combat, and had showered and changed, an hour and a half had passed._

_We went upstairs and sat down to a pot of tea, talking about the current demon situation.'_

* * *

"I think that these demons aren't just working with each other," Xander surmised, "they're all working for someone or something that's hiding in the background."

"What makes you say this?" Giles asked, not having thought of that possibility.

"They have no personal agenda as far as I can see; they either go straight after Riley's men, or they cause problems in areas they know will be patrolled. They're acting as though they've been sent on a mission, although I can't really see any objectives to them. At the end of the day, they didn't do this by themselves they were sent, and until we know why, we won't know how to stop it or them."

"I have to say I hadn't looked at it from that standpoint," Giles admitted.

"Well, you don't have the soldier memories that I do," Xander replied.

"Good point. Have you discussed this with Buffy or Finn?" he asked.

Giles agreed that they were better off working with Riley and the others than against them, but he still hadn't forgotten how they, and Riley in particular, had acted before. Even though he had been told them several times, Giles insisted on calling them only by their surnames.

Xander found that somewhat ironic that he would use their surnames to denigrate them, when he was called by his surname also.

"No," Xander told him, "you're always my first point of call when it comes to this stuff."

Xander saw Giles' smile widen a little at that; he knew that Giles sometimes felt a little out of the loop these days; their lives had been drifting apart with their non-supernatural activities, but they had all been doing things together more recently, as the family that they had become, and they were now as close as they had ever been.

"If your theory is correct" Giles mused, "then that means that there won't be anything in the books that will be of any use."

"Not necessarily; you might just need to look for any demons that can hold power over other demons," Xander suggested.

"Good idea, I shall have Tara look at that tomorrow."

"It might be an idea to let Tara and Willow have a couple of days off when it comes to research unless they volunteer, they may have some things to deal with," Xander said, knowing that they would need that time to repair the damage today had caused.

"You're probably right," Giles replied with a sigh. "You're not going to say anything to her, are you?"

"I can't **not** talk to her Giles, but I'm not going to do or say anything that will make things worse; Tara already made me promise her that."

"Good."

At that moment, there's a knock on the door. Giles went to answer it and found Willow standing there, a smile plastered on her face. He stood aside, the normal practise of those in the know, allowing her to come inside without being invited. She came in as if she were walking on air, which made the two men worried that they might have spoken a bit too son to Tara about who Willow would pick.

"Everything OK Wills?" Xander asked as she sat down.

"Everything's wonderful," she replied brightly. "Did you remember what night tonight is?"

"What are you on about?" Giles asked.

"When was the last time you had to think about whether it was a full moon or not?" she asked them in reply.

"I haven't given it a second's thought since Oz left…" Xander began, only to trail off as he suddenly got what she was on about. Ensuring that he had a stake on him, Xander stepped outside and looked up in the sky. There in a cloudless sky was a full moon. The importance of that hit him straight away. "Oz has found a way to control the wolf," he said in surprise.

"Yep, he found his way to Tibet and with the help of some monks he's free of the wolf," she explained with a wide beaming smile.

Both Giles and Xander were happy for Oz; realising that he had control of his life again must have been a deeply gratifying experience. The thing nagging them both was that neither one was aware that there was a cure for a Lycanthrope, as they would have suggested it to Oz before he left if they had.

"He's not a Werewolf anymore?" Giles asked in clarification.

"No, he's still a werewolf," she told them, "but he doesn't transform anymore, he said it was something to do with some meditative techniques he's mastered. Isn't it great?!"

Willow was almost bursting with happiness for Oz, which was understandable given that he was her ex. Both Giles and Xander were worried about the amount of happiness she felt, and whether he was still her ex.

"Yes it is," Xander replied, "and I'm happy for him. I'm sure Tara will be as well when you tell her."

* * *

'_I know that it was a cheap shot, but the longer I was looking and talking to her, the angrier I was getting on Tara's behalf, and I had to find out what this meant for both of them._

_My comment had the desired effect, as it reminded Willow of her current relationship, something that she probably hadn't done a great deal of since Oz showed up earlier this evening._

_I decided that I needed to have this chat with Willow away from Giles; he meant well, but sometimes his protective nature over his 'children' made it difficult for him to be objective. Not that I'm exactly the pinnacle of reason myself, but I'd had a decade more experience in dealing with Willow._

'_I led her down to the training room where we could have some peace.'_

* * *

"How is she?" Willow asked once they were downstairs. She was no longer full of joy for Oz; instead she was full of worry about her girlfriend.

Xander decided that the best way to go would be to tell her the truth. As usual, he found it extremely difficult to be angry with Willow once she was actually in front of him, so he was able to tell her without sounding too angry about it.

"I won't lie to you, she's not entirely happy about the situation, especially the bit where her girlfriend walked off with her ex without so much as a word said to her," Xander told her. "I explained that you were probably in shock and were acting on autopilot, not consciously intending to hurt her feelings. You're not going to make me a liar now are you?" he asked.

She immediately shook her head. "Of course I was in shock; I hadn't seen Oz in months, and for him to just turn up out of the blue without so much as a phone call beforehand did cause me to mentally shut down for a few moments. I shut down again when he told me to look up and I saw we were walking under a full moon." She paused for a couple of seconds, trying to find the best way to say what she wanted to. Xander could guess what she was about to tell him. "I was so happy for him that I hugged him out of instinct. When he went to kiss me, initially I didn't resist, until I realised that his lips weren't as soft or as warm as Tara's. Once I thought of Tara, I was firing with all cylinders once again and broke the embrace, saying that I couldn't do this as I was seeing someone else."

Xander was happy about that, as they both knew what it was like to get caught up in the moment, and was pleased that she hadn't allowed it to happen again. "What did he say to that?" he asked.

"He said that he wasn't surprised that somebody else had seen the same thing that he did, and that they were a lucky man," she replied.

Xander tried his best to not smirk at that, especially when he could tell that Willow hadn't told Oz about her recent change in sexual orientation. "I take it you didn't elaborate that it was a lucky **woman**?" he asked, unable to help the slightly humorous tone in his voice.

She noticed and had a slight smile on her face, obviously seeing the humour in it herself, even if she didn't want to right now. "I didn't think it would be the right time to bring that up," she explained.

Although he had found it funny, Xander was a little worried about why she hadn't told Oz about Tara. "Don't think that I'm judging you here but why not?" he asked. "It's not as though it should make any difference; you haven't tried to hide your relationship in public and we're all happy for you, should it matter what you ex thinks?"

She glared at him for a second before she realised that Xander wasn't trying to judge her, he was simply trying to figure it out. "I could tell that he was more than a little disappointed that I had moved on, and I didn't think that telling him I moved on to another gender would help the situation."

"Fine, I understand how it wouldn't be the easiest thing to talk about at a time like that." Seeing that she was a little distressed about it, Xander decided to spare her and change the subject.. "How long is he staying?"

"He said that he'd be around for a few days," she replied, "but I'm guessing that now he realises I'm not going back to him he might leave sooner."

It was only then that Xander realised that Willow had gone through a lot tonight. He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know how hard it must be to see him again, how are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm not entirely sure just yet; seeing him again has brought up a lot of memories, both good and bad. I'm glad to see him, and annoyed that he just turned up unannounced at the same time."

Xander could certainly understand that feeling; having felt similarly confused himself at times. I could see that she wanted to go, but there's one more question Xander needed to ask her before she did.

"Don't jump down my throat," he began, "but are you having second thoughts about being with Tara?"

Willow threw off Xander's hand and set him with a glare that could melt steel. "No! I could **never** have second thoughts about Tara; I love her more than life itself!"

The sheer conviction in her voice made him smile. "That's good to hear," he told her happily. "I just wanted to make sure you were certain before you talked to Tara, as she has an uncanny way of telling whether she's being told the truth or not, and saying what you think she wants to hear instead of the truth would not be of the good."

"And how do you know I'm telling the truth?" she asked.

Her glare had lessened, but it was still a sight to behold. Knowing that he would need to tell the truth, Willow was one of the few people who could tell when he was lying, most of the time anyway, Xander had the common decency to look a little sheepish.

"Two ways; one, I kinda activated my aura spell to see whether you were lying…" Seeing the glare starting to increase again, Xander quickly continued. "But more importantly is two, you're my Willow."

The glare disappeared after a moment and a smile replaced it and he was very relieved when she gave him a hug. "And you're my Xander," she told him with a smile. She released him and began to collect her things. "I better go and talk to Tara. Thanks for going easy on me Xan, I know you probably weren't happy with me."

He smiled at that understatement. "I have to admit that both Tara and Giles made me promise not to revert to form and go for the jugular," he confessed. "It's just yet another facet to the new and improved mature Xander; tact and diplomacy."

Her smile faltered a little. "Just don't change too much; we all like the original version of you, a **lot**, and wouldn't want to lose him."

He went over and pulled her into another hug. "I'm not going anywhere, but I can't stay exactly how you knew me either. I don't think I could stand what my life would have been like if I had."

* * *

'_My strategic skills were sometimes a big pain in the ass; I had worked out that if I had stayed how I was before my road trip, I would have been kept out of their lives once again, and this time I wouldn't have argued._

_I simply didn't have any more fight left in me to go through it all again, and I'm not sure I would have wanted to._

_Willow could tell that my mood had changed, and wondered what it was about.'_

* * *

"What do you mean?" Willow asked.

It really wasn't a conversation that Xander wanted to have right then, or **ever** in fact, so he decided to change the subject. "You better go see how Tara is Willow."

She must have switched to friend-mode as she put on her resolve face. "You're not getting out of it that easy mister," she told him.

One of the few good things about retaining his soldier memories, was that the enabled him to be more resilient. "Willow."

She recognised the 'don't push it' tone in his voice for what it was, and decided to let it go, for now anyway. "Fine, but we **will** have this talk."

Knowing that she would only continue to hound him until he agreed, Xander saved time and nodded.

"Deal."

* * *

'_Willow grabbed the rest of her stuff and left; normally I would have gone with her as an escort, but now that The Initiative was no longer actively hunting us, I knew she'll be safe for one night. Anyway, with her physical and magical skills, she was no slouch in the dusting department anymore, and I was trying to make myself remember that._

_I went upstairs and after saying goodnight to Giles, I also made my way home. I decided against using the cemetery as a short cut, as I really just wanted to go to sleep, and wasn't really in the mood to get into it with any vamps._

_When I finally got there, finding that it took an extra ten minutes not using the short cut, I noticed that there were a few black bags outside, by the looks of things thrown out of the front door._

_I ignored them, no longer surprised by anything my parents did anymore, and went up to the front door. When I tried to get in with my key, I found out that it didn't work anymore._

_Now normally I don't allow what my parent's decide to do to get to me; if I had, I would have gone insane a long time ago. This time though they'd gone too far, and in the process, __**seriously**__ pissed me off._

_After nixing the idea of knocking the door off the hinges, as I didn't want to wake the neighbours, I decided to use some of the more 'grey area' memories from soldier boy, namely lock-picking. After a few seconds, I was inside and had quietly closed the door behind me._

_I walked silently through the house and down to the basement, only to find that all of my stuff had been removed, probably into those black bags outside. In its place was uncle Barry's stuff, and I could also see his unconscious form on what had been, until a few hours ago, my bed._

_Now when I say uncle, it was more like 'friend of my father's'; Barry had been in and out of jail ever since I could remember, and whenever he was out he would always stay with us. I definitely did not enjoy those times; having one male authority figure beating seven shades of shit out of me was one thing, having two was completely another._

_The last time he was out was about a year before Buffy showed up in Sunnydale; I spent five days in hospital due to the beating I took at their hands. I couldn't even remember what I did to get the beating, only the fact that they both kept saying that it was 'for my own good'._

_I just stand there, staring at Barry's sleeping form for a minute, not quite believing what was happening. I knew that my parents weren't exactly the nurturing types; I doubt they could even __**spell**__ it, let alone explain what it meant. I just never thought that they would actually kick me out, not without at least telling me first. Of course in their constant drunken state they probably thought that they did._

_Not wanting to have three counts of murder on my plate, although I doubted that any court in the land would convict me if I did make the gene pool a little cleaner, I left the house as quietly as I got in, although I decided to leave the door open._

_I then went onto the front lawn and gathered the bags that they threw out together, confirming that it was indeed my stuff, and then made a call.'_

* * *

"Rupert Giles speaking," Giles answered.

"Hey Giles, its Xander," Xander told him listlessly. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Of course, what is it?" he asked immediately.

"Can you pick me up at my parent's place; it seems that I no longer live there."

"**What**!" he roared down the line, Xander actually having to move the phone away from his ear for a second, as Giles' sudden outburst almost deafened him.

"I turned up and found all my stuff dumped in the front lawn and the locks changed," Xander explained.

He could almost hear Giles taking his glasses off and clean them before he spoke again. "Where are you going to stay?"

Xander hadn't actually thought of that, he just wanted to make sure that his stuff stayed his stuff, instead of being thrown away with the rest of the garbage. "Haven't a clue," he replied simply.

Again, Xander could almost hear Giles think things through in his head. "Well in that case you're staying here with me until you are ready to find somewhere else."

Xander thought that Giles might suggest something like that, out of some sort of obligation. He didn't want anyone to feel obligated to help. "I wouldn't want to be any trouble…"

"No trouble at all," Giles told him, cutting him off, "I mean it. I won't argue over this, you're staying here and that's final."

* * *

_'I knew that tone; it's the one Giles has used during training when I've disagreed with him over something. It means that if I continue to argue, he'll allow 'Ripper' out and play with me for a while. I called his bluff once and walked with a limp for two days._

_I may not be the sharpest tool in the woodshed but I learn from my mistakes.'_

* * *

"Yes sir," Xander replied.

Xander could hear Giles sigh in relief, and Xander guessed that he had been gearing himself up for further argument, in spite of his tone. Xander guessed that he had a reputation as being a little stubborn, which was completely undeserved of course.

"Good, I'll be along shortly," Giles told him. "Be on your guard until I arrive."

"Always."

* * *

' _I slipped a stake out from within one of the secret pockets in my jacket. I wouldn't tell Giles this, but with everything that had happened tonight, I had actually forgot what town I lived in, and in **this** town that was a mistake that could cost you your life._

_It would have just been my luck to have those bastards be the cause of my death, even if it was indirectly. I was kind of disappointed when Giles had turned up about ten minutes later and I hadn't had to deal with any vamps, having something to beat seven shades of shit out of was a great stress reliever._

_I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes when he asked me how I was coping with what had happened. One of the things that annoyed me so much over the years was dealing with people who try to 'handle' me when they found out just how shitty my life had been._

_It isn't their fault, but when they start on the platitudes I feel like digging a hole and throwing them in. The fact that I could tell that Giles' concern was legit, made me decide to take the odd, well odd for me, route of telling the truth.'_

* * *

"The way I always do, I repress," Xander told him bluntly.

The look Giles gave him was a clear indication that he didn't like that answer. "Xander…"

Xander put a hand up to stop Giles from going any further. "I know, not the healthiest way to deal with things," he admitted. "It's just that I would have been found hanging from my ceiling, or in a bath full of my own blood, if I hadn't repressed what I had to deal with in that place. This is just the latest in a **long** list of occasions when my parents showed their true feelings towards me."

Giles just stood there for a few moments, allowing what Xander had said to seep in before responding. Xander could see the anger and sadness his words caused him on his behalf flash across his face before he managed to regain his composure.

Giles walked over, put a hand on Xander's shoulder and ensured that he was looking into his eyes before he spoke. "There isn't a lot I can do to change what has happened, but I promise you this; you will **always** have a place to stay with me."

* * *

_'It took all of my mental discipline not to start crying; his simple statement showed me once again that he cared more for me then my parents ever have. It took me several moments before I was able to speak, and even then it was just a simple thank you; there were no words that could properly express what I felt right then, but they would have to do._

_We gathered my things and put them in the trunk of his car; what does it say about you when everything that you own can fit in the trunk of a Citroen CV?_

_We drove back to Giles' in silence, although not an uncomfortable one; we simply felt comfortable in each others presence to not always have to fill it with noise._

_Once we got there, I took my things and placed them in Giles' spare room, now mine for the foreseeable future. I put the picture of myself, Buffy, Willow and Giles on top of the dresser facing the bed, as I had always placed it there since the photo was given to me by OZ a couple of years ago. Once I'd put my clothes away and placed the other photos that had survived my parent's unique style of packing where I wanted them, I went downstairs to find Buffy there waiting for me._

_As soon as was at the bottom of the stairs, she came over and enveloped me in an embrace, making me feel better almost immediately. If I could bottle the feeling I would get from one of Buffy's hugs I could make millions, but knowing me I would keep it all to myself anyway._

_We stayed that way for a few moments; I was just enjoying the fact that I'm doing it and that it wasn't a dream. I feel Buffy move slightly so that she could look up at me.'_

* * *

"Are you OK?" Buffy asked, her voice filled with concern.

"I'm definitely better now than I was," Xander replied softly, "which has something to do with having one of the most beautiful women on the planet holding me I guess."

* * *

_'The gigawatt smile ,and the slight blush on her cheeks, made me feel even better than I did from holding her. She closed her eyes and, after squeezing me a little, released a small moan of pleasure that did some very nice things to me.'_

* * *

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Buffy told him huskily, "but that doesn't answer my question does it?"

Not wanting to break his promise and lie to her again, Xander had no choice but to speak the truth. "I guess I'm shocked; having your parents chuck out all of your stuff and change the locks isn't exactly an everyday occurrence," Xander replied matter-of-factly.

It seemed to shocked her that he didn't sound angry; so was he, as less than an hour ago he'd been trying to think of ways he could kill three people and get away with it. "You're not angry are you?" she asked in shock.

"I was; when I first realised what had happened I was a hairs breadth away from completely losing it," he replied. "Now I don't really feel any anger towards them at all; it's been a long time since I've cared about them enough to allow their actions to anger me, and don't feel like starting up again. I suppose the closest I can get to pin down what I'm feeling is disappointment. Yeah, disappointment and closure."

"Closure?"

"All the time I was living there, I had a glimmer of hope that they would finally treat me like their son, instead of a piece of shit they stepped in by accident," he explained. "This has put the final nail in the coffin that was my relationship with them."

She put her head back on his chest, and Xander could feel that Buffy was trying not to cry. After a couple of minutes, she looked back up at her, her eyes red and full of unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," she apologised.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for," he soothed softly, "you aren't my parents, which is a good thing considering the dreams I have. Especially the one where…"

The sound of glass breaking caused the pair to whip their heads round, and found Giles stooping down to pick up the broken pieces of the glass he had been drinking from. "For the love of god Xander, I didn't want to know that!"

they couldn't believe that they had forgotten where they were, at least Xander couldn't until he turned to Buffy once more. Xander felt his cheeks heat up as he blushed, and turned to Giles again.

"Sorry Giles," he apologised sheepishly, "I kinda forgot you were there."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," he replied sarcastically as he continued to pick up his broken glass.

Xander chuckled at that and decided that it might be a good idea to change the subject to something that wouldn't embarrass him, and not having to let go of Buffy to do it was a bonus. "Anyway, not that I'm unhappy to see you Buff," he assured her, "but why are you here?"

"Giles rang me straight after talking with you and gave me the rundown on what happened," she replied softly. Xander turned his head to Giles and nodded to him in thanks before turning his attentions again to his girlfriend. "I also wanted to know how it went with Willow. I was still at Tara's when she showed up, and I wanted to know what was going on, but I felt a little like a third wheel as soon as they locked eyes on each other."

Xander nodded in understanding at that, as he too has often felt out of place when those two first notice each other in a room, sometimes feeling like a voyeur watching something that he really shouldn't, or really should depending on whether you like being a voyeur or not.

"It went OK," he replied eventually, "she told me what happened with Oz, and I explained that she could have handled the situation a little better. I won't go into too many details, as I'm sure she'll talk to you herself, but the main thing was that Oz has found a way to control the wolf."

"What? How?" she said in shock.

"Both excellent questions; I don't suppose you happened to notice that tonight's a full moon?" From her look of surprise Xander guessed not. "Don't worry, I had forgotten as well. It seems that whilst on his journey of discovery, Oz met some monks who have taught him some meditative techniques that allow him to control the change to such an extent that he doesn't have to transform at all anymore."

Buffy's eyes bugged out at that. Xander could see the wheels beginning to turn in her head, trying to think of how Oz had managed to come so far in such a short space of time, something that Xander would like to know as well. After a couple of moments, Buffy had come round enough to continue talking.

"How was Willow taking it?" she asked.

"She was happy for him, as I guess we all are," he replied.

They both nodded in agreement; they may not have liked what happened before Oz left, but they still cared about his welfare. Xander could see, however, that Buffy wasn't happy with the answer he gave, as it didn't tell her everything she wanted to know.

"And?"

"As I said before," he told her, "I'm sure Wills will talk to you about it tomorrow." Xander yawned loudly and gave them both an apologetic smile. "I hope you don't mind, but I have to be up early tomorrow for work, as we're trying to get ahead of schedule; we've been offered a nice bonus if we finish early and that's something I could do with."

Xander could see that Buffy didn't want to, but she eventually agreed and, after grabbing his ass which caused him to yelp, reluctantly released him. "I need to do a quick patrol anyway before I turn in myself; I have Walsh tomorrow morning, and I don't want to give her any excuses to lay into me."

The thought of that bitch doing anything to Buffy made Xander's blood boil with rage. "If she touches a hair on your head I'll…"

Buffy smiled at his outburst, but put a finger on his lips before he could build up a good head of steam. "In a student-teacher way, not a Slayer-nutty professor way," she explained. "I can take care of myself you know, Slayer here."

Even though Xander knew she could take of herself just fine, she'd faced off against some of the deadliest creatures known to man and come out on top, it would never stop him from getting on the offensive whenever the thought of someone or something wanting to hurt her.

"I know that," he replied, "but I reserve the right as your boyfriend to do serious harm to anyone or anything that hurts you, or thinks of hurting you. I know I don't have to, but I **want** to, I love you. Anyway, it isn't as though you wouldn't do the same for me," he added.

"Of course I would," she replied instantly, her eyes hardening slightly at even the thought of something happening to him. "Believe me, it would take weeks before I would get bored enough of torturing them to actually kill them."

The cold look in her eyes, and the utter conviction in her voice, would have worried anyone else, but Xander wasn't worried at all, because he was exactly the same. In fact, he even found it a little comforting to know she would go to such lengths for him, especially after tonight. Xander leant down and kissed her on the tip of her nose, causing her to wrinkle her face, but she couldn't suppress the grin that appeared.

"You say the sweetest things," he told her with a smile. "Be careful on patrol, and please call me as soon as you're home; I won't be able to sleep until you do."

"Of course I will," she assured him. "Goodnight Giles," she called out as she went to the door.

"Goodnight Buffy," Giles replied as he returned from the kitchen where he had taken the broken glass.

She smiled at them both before walking out the door.

"Is there anything you need me to do before I go to bed Giles?" Xander asked.

"No, you get to bed," he assured him. "I'll sort out a spare set of keys for you tomorrow, and will bring them in to work for you. There's a phone in your room so you won't have to get up when Buffy calls."

"Thanks, goodnight," Xander said as he made his way upstairs.

"Goodnight son," Giles replied softly.

* * *

_'When Buffy said that she was going to make a quick patrol she wasn't kidding; half an hour after she left, she was already on the phone letting me know that she was fine. We talked for a few minutes, neither of us really wanting to end the conversation, before we said our goodbyes and I went off to sleep._

_I got up with the sunrise and, after having a shower and getting dressed, I went downstairs and did some tidying up before heading to work. We were so busy at work that, by the time I knew what was going on, it was already lunchtime._

_The good thing was we were well on the way to finishing early. I really wanted that bonus, as I wanted to do something special for Buffy, I had realised some time ago that we hadn't actually gone on a date yet, something I wanted to change as soon as possible._

_The other good thing about lunchtime was that it was time to meet up with Tara; I wanted to make sure that she was OK after the events of last night. She puts up a good front, but I know a front when I see one, having used one myself since I knew what one was, and had a way of getting past someone else's to the true feelings underneath._

_I had just got to the café and found a table when Tara shows up, right on time as always.'_

* * *

"Hi Tara," Xander greeted her as she got closer.

She smiled, brightening up the café, and sat down. "Hello Xander," she returned softly.

The waitress came over and took their order almost instantly; Tara and Xander had become well known to all the staff in the café since they began going there, and got special service as one of the perks. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, but when their coffees arrived, Xander decided that he might as well cut to the chase.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Tara automatically increased the size of her smile, but after seeing the look that Xander sent her way decided against trying to cover up her feelings. "I-I've felt better; Willow explained everything that happened last night and although I'm not happy about it, I can understand it."

* * *

_'I could see that she was telling the truth, and I hadn't even taken a peek at her aura. As I had gotten to know her, I had gotten quite adept at working out whether or not she was withholding anything or not._

_She never actually lies, she really isn't capable, but she **is** a master at telling you the truth without telling the **whole** truth. I know it sounds like there isn't a difference, but there is to experts like myself._

_Wanting to be certain that she wasn't being lied to herself, I decided to press for some more information.'_

* * *

"Everything?" Xander asked.

"If you're talking about the kiss, then yes, everything," Tara replied calmly.

It was surprising to Xander that she was able to talk about her girlfriend kissing her ex without the slightest hint of anger, especially so close to the event. "You're taking this extremely well, far better than I ever could."

"I guess that I am. I allowed myself to think about how I would have reacted if it had happened to me, and I couldn't say that I would do things differently," she explained with a shrug.

"I'm not sure I could have acted that logically after only a few hours," he pointed out. He knew that he would probably see it the same way she she did eventually, but there was no way he'd be so calm so soon.

Tara reddened a bit, and her hair began to move in front of her face, and Xander was almost certain that she had put a spell on her hair to do that, whether consciously or not.

"Well I m-might have cheated a bit," she confessed, her blush increasing at the revelation.

Xander raised an eyebrow in surprise at that. He couldn't conceive using the words 'Tara' and 'cheat' in the same sentence.

"Cheated?" he asked with a small smile, which turned into a smirk as her blush increased even more.

When she spoke he could hear the embarrassment in her voice. "I used a spell that paused time for a bit."

Xander knew that his knowledge of magic wasn't the best, but a spell like that would have to be pretty powerful.

"Paused time?"

"Well not paused time exactly," she admitted, "I was allowed half an hour to think through things in my head, when actually only a second had passed."

That sounded like something Xander could use for a multitude of reasons. "Useful spell, think you could teach it to me?" he asked hopefully.

Tara looked at Xander strangely for a moment. "I thought that you didn't like magic?" she asked him.

Xander knew that he hadn't exactly kept his aversion to magic a secret, but ever since he had done well with the Aura spell, Giles had assured him that while his well of power is relatively small compared to most practitioners, as long as he was careful with the spells he used there was no reason why he wouldn't be able to use it to his full potential.

"I don't really, but the soldier in me can see the advantages of having thirty minutes to think during spur of the moment decisions, especially in the line of work we're in. Do you think I would be able to make it work?"

She knew that Xander wasn't talking about his ability to learn the spell, having started to believe he could do things more, but whether he would have the power necessary.

"Very little power is required to perform the spell; I'm sure that I can teach it to you."

Xander noticed that she hadn't actually told him that she would teach him the spell, only that she could. "I know you **can**, but **will** you?"

"Of course I will," she assured him.

She smiled at him, but it was the smile she always used when she's been playing with him, which meant that she was always to help teach the spell to him. As always, her subtle blend of humour had slipped under his radar.

"Great!" he exclaimed happily, and they smiled at each other for a moment before Tara became more sombre.

"I saw Buffy this morning, and she told us what happened at you parent's house last night. I'm sorry."

Xander could see how sad Tara was for him, so on impulse he took her hand in his. He was happy to see that when he did so she didn't flinch at the contact or shy away from him. "As I told Buffy last night, there's nothing for you to be sorry about. It's not as though you were the one that kicked me out."

"I know, it's just that I can't really think of anything else to say."

"You don't have to say anything," he assured her with a soft smile, before he too became more sombre as he realised that this would be the perfect opportunity to broach a subject he had wanted to talk to Tara about for a while. "Don't take this the wrong way," he continued, "but you're acting as though you've had a similar experience."

The 'deer caught in the headlights' look told Xander all that he needed to know. "W-what do you m-mean?" she asked.

She moved her hands away from him, and Xander could see that he may have torn down some of the bridges that he had been built between them. Not wanting that to happen, Xander decided to stop that topic of conversation there, after laying the groundwork for possible later discussions.

"I can tell a person who's had a bad childhood from a hundred paces," Xander went on softly, trying to keep his tone as modulated as possible, "the saying 'it takes one to know one' is more than a saying and we both know it. I won't say anything more if you don't want me to, but I'm always here to talk to if you want. I'll never speak about anything you tell me, unless you give me express permission to do so. All I want is to help, if you are willing."

"T-Thank you," she whispered, as much of a confession that he was right as he knew he would get at the moment, but it was a start.

She smiled at him, and Xander was happy to see that it was genuine. They finished their drinks in silence, and when Xander went to call the waitress over to order refills, he noticed Oz coming in.

Not having the chance to speak to him before, Xander waved him over. "Hey Oz," he greeted him.

Xander extended his hand, and after a moments hesitation Oz took it, the smallest of smiles appearing on his face. Xander guessed that he must have been worried about how he would treat him, as their last talk had not exactly been the most friendly.

"Xander," Oz greeted.

Oz took a sniff in the air and suddenly whips his head round to look at Tara. She squirmed slightly under his gaze, but realising that Xander was there, summoned the courage to speak.

"H-hello," she said timidly, Xander took her hand in his once more, sending her his strength.

Oz's gaze continued, and Xander began to get an uneasy feeling about it. He had never seen Oz act this negatively towards someone, especially a stranger.

"Hi."

The tone in his voice was filled with barely concealed rage. Wanting to try and diffuse the situation, Xander tried to start a conversation.

"OK, I'll do the introductions; Oz, this is Tara, Tara, this is Oz."

"You're Willow's girlfriend," Oz stated with certainty, and his voice was no longer hiding his anger, causing Xander's uneasy feeling to move into concern for his and Tara's safety.

"I-I thought that Willow didn't tell you," Tara said in a whisper, her voice showing just how scared she was.

"She didn't; I can smell her all over you," he growled.

As he finished his sentence, Xander could see Oz's eyes flash, and he started to convulse. Xander's first instinct was to help him, but he stopped when he heard the animalistic growl coming from him.

"Oz?" Xander said carefully.

He looked up at him, and Xander could see that he was starting to transform. "Run," Oz told them, his anger gone and fear firmly replacing it, "I can't control it…" He then collapsed onto the ground, and Xander began to see fur covering his body.

Realising that they didn't have much time, he grabbed Tara and ran out of the café, telling everyone to get out as they left. The staff knew that Xander wouldn't say that without reason, so they began to shepherd the customers out as quickly as possible.

Once they got around the corner, Xander turned to Tara. "Tara, run to Giles' and let him know what's going on," he told her. "I'll stall for as long as possible."

Realising that he had not intention of following her, Tara began to shake her head. "I'm not leaving you!" she told him firmly, and Xander found it ironic that the first time she would truly stand up for herself was the one time he didn't want her to.

Not having time to get into an argument, Xander grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Tara, there is no way I'm letting one of my girls get hurt, now **go**!"

* * *

_'Seeing the determination in my eyes, Tara gave in and nodded in assent. I let her go and, after giving her a little reassuring smile, she started running. It wasn't more than a couple of seconds later that Oz, now in full wolf form, came charging towards me._

_He stopped about six feet away from me, but was growling angrily and his stance told me that he was ready to strike at any time. Not wanting to take him on, as I can't see a way to stop him without killing him, or without me dying in the attempt given I had nothing silver on me, I decided to try and calm him down, hoping that he could regain control.'_

* * *

"Oz, you've got to listen to me man, calm down and concentrate on what you've been taught…"

* * *

_'I could see that I wasn't getting through to him, Oz's anger too great for reason to overcome at the moment, so I began to go for my gun, hoping to slow him down enough so Giles could get here with the tranq gun and sedate him._

_Oz must sensed my shift in tactics and pounced immediately, but before he reached me he let out a howl of pain and dropped to the ground, twitching several times before going completely limp._

_I turned to see Forrest, Riley's second in command, and a couple of his men walking up to me. As Forrest reached us, he kicked Oz violently in the head.'_

* * *

"Shit Forrest, he's out there's no need to kick him when he's down!" Xander exclaimed angrily.

Forrest spun round and trained his Tazer rifle on me, cold fury clearly visible in his eyes. "You help us with the vamps and demons and I'm grateful, but you try to tell me how to act again, and I'll forget our little 'arrangement' and let Walsh know what's been going on."

* * *

'_The other men looked at Forrest in surprise for a moment, but said nothing as he was in command._

_I knew that Forrest wasn't happy with the arrangement, as he was one of the few people that had been against it from the beginning, but after a close call with a vamp, he changed his tune somewhat._

_He is a real stickler when it comes to the rules, and definitely believes in what Walsh is doing, something that is becoming less common in the rest of the troops I've noticed._

_I never thought he felt that strongly about it though.'_

* * *

"Are you nuts?" Xander asked in shock.

"No, I'm perfectly sane," Forrest replied with a feral grin. "Now you've got two choices; back off and allow us to do our job, or prepare yourself to find the military at yours, your friends and your family's door very soon."

* * *

'_I didn't want them to take Oz, as I knew what they did to the demons they captured and didn't want him to go through it, but I couldn't risk Buffy's and everyone else's safety._

_There was no way I'd be able to stop them from taking him without consequences, and unless I killed them all there would be no way to stop Forrest from carrying out his threat, which he'd be certain to do if I kicked his ass._

_Not having any other option, I kept my mouth shut, not allowing my mouth to run away with itself for once, and took a couple of steps back. I did however send a glare towards Forrest that had the other men falter in their step slightly, but Forrest just ignored it, looking at me with a smug grin on his face that I would have liked nothing more than to wipe off with my boot._

_The other men picked up Oz and they all went to leave. Just as they were about to turn the corner, I called out to him.'_

* * *

"Forrest!" Xander yelled, only just managing to keep the anger from bubbling up.

Forrest indicated for the others to keep going as he turned to face me. "What do you want Harris?" he snapped.

Xander took one step towards him, but stopped when he noticed Forrest reaching for his rifle, although he did smirk at him for it. "This isn't over," he vowed.

Forrest just laughed derisively. "I'm shaking in my boots."

* * *

'_Forrest walked away laughing, and I tried to ignore the thoughts running through my head telling me how many of his bones I could break before he passed out from the pain. Knowing that I couldn't leave Oz to whatever fate he had with The Initiative, and wanting to settle the score with Forrest one way or the other, I headed over to Giles', well, our place now._

_I met him halfway, and narrowly avoided becoming another victim of vehicular manslaughter when I had to jump out of the way of his car._

_I never even knew that it could go that fast!'_

* * *

"Jesus Giles, you practising for the Indy 500?" Xander asked with a smile.

"Bloody funny, I think not! When Tara told me what was happening, I came to help as fast as I could," Giles explained with a huff.

"And I thank you for that, I really do, but killing yourself on the way wouldn't have been the most productive of doing so, would it?"

"I wasn't exactly thinking clearly I have to admit."

Xander could see the same thing in Giles' eyes that had often been in his own; the look that said that someone he cared about was in trouble, and he was going to do everything in his power to help them, even at extreme risk to himself. "Don't worry about it, Xander told him with a smile, "you were still driving better than Buffy," he added.

* * *

'_Giles said nothing to that, but the smile that graced his lips told me everything I needed to know._

_Buffy had gotten him to give her a driving lesson a while back when Joyce had told her in no uncertain terms that if she didn't improve her driving skills, she would have the DMV revoke her licence. To be honest I don't know how she got one in the first place, unless she threatened the guy._

_Anyway, when Giles came back, he was looking worse than he had after Drusilla and Angelus had finished with him, although without any actual blood. He had then said in no uncertain terms that he would **never** get in a car with Buffy as the driver, to the point that if it was a choice between getting drained by a vamp or driven by Buffy, he would bare his neck to the vamp._

_Anyway, getting back on topic, I got into the passenger seat and relayed what had happened to Oz while he drove us back to his, our, place. When we got there we, barely got in the door when I had Tara launching herself at me, trying to squeeze the life out of me whilst simultaneously trying to drown me in tears. She may not be a Slayer but she still made it difficult to breathe._

_I didn't say anything however, I simply held onto her and tried to calm her down as best I could, which after a few minutes was enough for me to get her to let go and sit down on the couch. Although I hated the fact that the was so upset, it warmed my heart that she cared enough about me to show it in such a physical manner, as it proved that I had started to repair the damage that whoever it was had caused. I had a pretty good idea that it was a male member of her family, either a father or brother, but until she told me I knew it would be best not to speculate.'_

* * *

"I'm sorry I worried you Tara," Xander told her softly after a while, not really knowing what else to say. He knew that he'd acted harshly towards her earlier, but it had been the only way to get her to safety, and he hoped she knew that.

"I know," Tara replied, "you were just trying to protect me and didn't mean to be so harsh."

She was speaking very calmly considering the gibbering wreck she was a minute or two before, And Xander had a pretty good idea why. "You used that spell again didn't you?" he asked, and smiled when she ducked her head slightly. "Cheater."

She laughed and slapped him gently on the shoulder. She then sobered up when she noticed that Oz wasn't with them. "Where's OZ?" she asked, worried for him despite his actions.

"Forrest and a couple other guys shocked him before he could attack me and took him away."

She looked startled for a moment. "Why didn't you stop them?"

"Stop who from doing what?" Buffy asked as she and Willow came in at that moment, neither one aware of the current situation. Xander then informed them what was going, including the threat that Forrest made. "I knew he didn't really liked us," she admitted, remembering more than one dark look he had sent her way, "but I never thought he'd shop us to Walsh."

"I don't really believe this," Xander began, "but it **could** be that he was just having a bad day and didn't like me telling him what he could and couldn't do. The problem, is we don't have the luxury to think about it too much; the first thing we need to do is think of a way to get Oz out."

Xander had already got the beginnings of a plan, but he wanted to hear what the others would come up with first, as he knew that his plan would not be well received.

"Couldn't we just explain that it's Oz?" Willow suggested hopefully.

"Not really; I'm guessing that only Walsh has the authority to release a captive and I can't see her doing it this side of, well, **ever**. I'm not sure about Riley, but I think that most of the guys that work there have a strict 'humans good, demons bad' belief that won't change just because we know one. I know that more and more of them are getting wary of what she and the other scientists are doing, but that wouldn't be enough to get court-martialled over."

"What do you suggest?" Giles asked, having already figured that Xander had a plan, but was too smart to suggest it himself, especially not to their current audience.

"The only thing I can think of is that I go in there and get him out," Xander replied.

Buffy whipped her head round to face him so fast that Xander was surprised it didn't snap. "Don't you mean **we**?" she asked, her tone indicating that it wasn't a suggestion.

"Unless you can look like a man and act like a marine," he replied, the thought of Buffy as a man causing him to shudder given their current standing, "I'll be going alone."

Buffy went to argue the point, but stopped herself as she realised that it would be pointless. Instead, she decided to suggest someone else to go with Xander. "You said you're not sure about Riley, do you think he would help?"

"Even with the way he acted before, I think that Riley is a good man, but **that** is the reason I can't ask him. I doubt that he would aid and abet the infiltration of a secret military installation he was stationed at and help liberate one of its captives. If we told him what we were planning, he would have to make a choice, and although I'm sure he would choose correctly, I'm not willing to bet Oz's life on his decision. Are you?"

"No," Buffy sighed after a couple of moments. "I don't like this; if you get into trouble there's no way we'll be able to help."

"Believe me, I don't like the idea too much myself," Xander admitted, knowing that he would have no support if the proverbial hit the fan. "I would take Giles in with me, as he's more than able to take care of himself, but most of the soldiers there are my age and they would recognise that Giles, well, isn't." Luckily Giles doesn't take offence, he knows that he was on the top of my list to help. "Even if we used a glamour spell to change his appearance, it wouldn't fool the security cameras; I could walk around unnoticed, but Giles couldn't. There might be someone who could help, if he's willing and able of course," Xander thought out loud.

"Who?" the three women asked immediately, none of them liking the thought of Xander going in there alone.

"Gunn; he's got the right look and he has the right attitude," he explained, only Buffy nodding as she was the only one who had met him. "The only problem is that he might take a day or two getting here, and I'm not sure we can afford to leave Oz in there that long."

Forty-eight hours is a long time to leave Oz in the hands of military scientists. Buffy and the others were thinking the same thing.

"We can't wait," Buffy realised. "Are you sure you can do it?" she asked.

"There is no such thing as a certainty on the Hellmouth," he replied, "but I know I have to try."

Buffy suddenly got up from her position on the couch, walked over to Xander, sat on his lap and kissed him senseless, much to the embarrassment of the rest of the group. "Fine," she said as she released him, "but if you get caught I will take that place down brick by brick to get you out and then kick your ass for making me have to."

Xander just about made out what she'd said, as his mind had temporarily shut down from the surge of emotions Buffy had just envoked within him. "Duly noted," he replied eventually.

Buffy stayed seated on his lap, but changed position so that she was sitting side saddle. The movement provided an uncomfortable, but not entirely unwelcome, sensation in Xander's crotch. She kept her arms wrapped round his neck, and Xander instinctively wrapped his around her waist.

"Xander, do you know how you're actually going to get in?" Giles asked. "I know that you'll be able to convince them you're a soldier, as for all intents and purposes you are, but as you don't know their security systems, I don't see how you'll do it."

"You're forgetting the most recent spell you taught me Giles," Xander answered with a small smile.

A flash of realisation appeared on Giles' face, followed by a very Ripper like grin. "Ah yes, that should do it quite nicely."

Willow then turned to face Xander, a look of eagerness on her face. "What spell?"

Willow was really getting into magic, and whenever she heard that Xander had learnt one, she was like a dog with a bone until he told her which one.

"Giles has taught me a spell that will help when I need to go on recon missions," he told them. "It's a bit like an invisibility spell, but far easier to use and even more safe. It basically makes it so that the people around me ignore that I'm there. When I use it I feel like I'm in high school again," he added with a grin.

"How will that help?" Willow asked.

"I simply follow one of the Initiative teams on the way back from one of their patrols and into the base. Only someone extremely sensitive to magic will be able to sense my presence, and none of those military men seem sensitive to anything." Both Willow and Tara giggled at that, but Buffy and Giles were both still worried about his safety. "The security cameras will pick me up," he went on, "but there's no way they'd take too much notice to one more grunt walking the corridors, especially with the turnover of soldiers they have at that place."

"That's how you're getting in," Buffy said, "but how are you getting out?"

"You know I have this slight obsession with blowing things up?" he asked them, all but Tara nodding their heads as they remembered graduation. "Well, I thought that I would plane a few charges around the base and use it to cause a slight distraction, and then slip out with Oz in the confusion."

"Can't you cast the spell on the both of you?" Willow asked. "That way you and Oz could just walk out the building unnoticed."

"I've made a promise not to use spells on others, only myself," he told her, something that willow already knew but needed to ask anyway. "That is a promise I'm going to keep."

They all knew how Xander felt about magic in the first place, so they knew not to press any further. "What if Oz is still wolfy?" Buffy asked.

"I'll have to talk to him and calm him enough so he can revert back," Xander replied. "I'll take some clothes for him to change into, and an extra set for myself so I can blend in better once we're outside, in case I'm spotted in my fatigues."

"I don't think anyone could say your fashion sense allows you to blend in," Willow teased.

"I wasn't the one with a fluffy pink jumper Willow."

Giles cut in before they could build up a head of steam. "We don't have time for these petty squabbles right now. Once Oz is safely out of The Initiative's hands, we can all comment on the atrocities that Xander tries to pass as clothing."

Xander decided to ignore the barely veiled jab at his fashion sense, not to mention the smirk Giles had on his face. "Yah Herr tweed." Well maybe not **completely** ignore. "I'll need to go and get my fatigues and some supplies before I go; I intend to go after sundown. Luckily last night was the night after full moon, so Oz should be able to control it enough to transform back, if he hasn't already."

"I didn't see any of your military gear with the rest of your stuff, where do you keep it?" Willow asked.

"As I can't honestly say that it **is** my stuff, having 'requisitioned' it from the army base and that wet works team, it is probably wiser if I don't tell you," he replied.

Willow looked hurt by that. "Don't you trust us?"

"Of course I do Wills," he assured her, "it's just that it's safer for you to not know." Xander knew better than to think that would never be noticed the equipment was missing and he wanted to keep them as safe as he could.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Buffy asked.

"I can't think of anything I want more, but I don't think it would be wise," he replied.

Buffy then put on her version of the resolve face Willow mastered at an early age. "Let me rephrase that; I'm coming with you."

"Yes dear."

That remark earned Xander a slap on the shoulder. "Don't call me dear."

"I thought that was supposed to be 'don't call me babe'?" he asked.

"I can't believe you like that film," Buffy replied with a sigh.

"I can't help it, Pammy is hot." Xander suddenly received the Slayer Death Glare. "Of course, she's positively plain in comparison to you," he added quickly.

They heard a groan coming from Giles. "Bloody hell I think I'm going to wretch."

"We better go," Xander said as he looked at his watch, "it'll be sunset soon and I don't want to leave Oz in there a minute longer than necessary. You ready?" he asked Buffy.

"As I'll ever be," she replied as she reluctantly stood up. "I'll come right back here Giles OK?"

"Of course Buffy," he assured her. "And Xander?"

"Yeah Giles?"

"Be careful son," he cautioned.

Xander simply smiled at him. "Always."

* * *

'_After getting a change of clothes for myself, and saying goodbye to Giles, Tara and Willow, Buffy and I left and I took her to the hiding place for my goodies, stopping on the way to get a change of clothes for Oz._

_She almost laughed when she saw where it is; a crypt on the edge of Happy Vale Cemetery.'_

* * *

"A crypt?" Buffy asked.

"It was the best I could come up with on short notice," Xander defended, "I used to keep a few things in my room, but I decided it would be safer not to have firearms near my parents."

* * *

'_It was to ensure that they didn't find them whilst they were drunk, and to ensure I didn't give in to the urge to **use** them whilst they were drunk. Believe me, there had been more than one occasion when the urge to go all Tony Montana on them was immense, but I knew that the chances of getting away with it would be slim, so I'd always managed to resist temptation._

_Buffy gave my shoulder a squeeze of sympathy before walking into the crypt, and she gasped at what I'd actually collected over the years; along with the equipment she had already seen, I also a range of other pistols and rifles, as well as grenades, flash bangs and other explosives._

_I also had several crates with USMC markings on them, which I wouldn't be explaining to her just yet. There was no reason to panic her too much, although if things started going the way I thought it would, we'd be needing to use all this and more sooner rather than later.'_

* * *

"Are you preparing for war Xan?" Buffy asked as she surveyed his own little arsenal.

"We've been at war for years now Buff," Xander replied seriously, "we've simply never said it out loud before." Buffy nodded after a moment, realising the truth in Xander's words.

"I've raided the army base a few times," he went on, "not including the time Cordy and I got the rocket launcher, as you never know when you might need something. I also acquired a few things on my travels; a friend I met had some of it shipped here when I decided to return full time, and they still have a few things I asked them to keep there, in case they need it themselves or as a back up."

* * *

'_I could tell that Buffy was warring with herself over whether to be impressed or worried by what she'd discovered; I knew that she had a real distaste for guns, but she also knew that under the right set of circumstances they could come in handy, the Judge being the obvious example. If we found ourselves in a worst case scenario where it was us against The Initiative, having this stuff might mean the difference between winning and losing._

_I left her to have a closer look around, hoping that she knew not to pull the pin on a grenade, whilst I got myself ready, mentally going through the plan and making sure that I had what I would need for contingency plans in case things went wrong. Once I'd changed into my fatigues, and assembled everything that I would need, including a couple of gadgets I made myself due to the questions that would have been asked had I got them somewhere else, I was as ready to go as I'd ever._

_I looked over to Buffy, and I could see that she was nervous. As I walked over to her, she wrapped her arms around me and mumbled something into my chest that sounded like whether I was sure she couldn't go with me. I knew that it wasn't the Slayer that had asked me that, but the almost nineteen-year-old woman who had stolen my heart from the moment I saw her._

_Her voice, as muffled as it was, made her sound so small and unlike the way she normally spoke; I wouldn't have known it was her if she wasn't in front of me. I instinctively held her closer to me, hoping that my closeness would help abate the fears she had. I whispered words of comfort into her ear, doing what I could to make her feel better, but I knew that she wouldn't get over this until I came back._

_I assured her that if it were at all possible I would love for to come with me, but that it just wasn't feasible. She said nothing in reply, but she did nod her head after a few moments to indicate the did understand._

_We both knew that this is different to what we'd had to do before; normally, I would be able to just go in and simply fight anything that was in the way. When you're dealing with human threats, you have to do things differently; you can't just kill a human because they're in the way, although I had no qualms in doing so if they became a danger to myself or anyone else that I cared about. Like I said before, in a choice between them or us, I'm going to choose us every single time._

_We stayed that way for a while, just holding onto each other, before she moved away but not out of my embrace.'_

* * *

"I love you," Buffy whispered.

Xander kissed her on the forehead and smiled. "I love you too." Knowing that he had to go, Xander reluctantly released her, and then led her to the exit. "I'll see you soon," he promised her, which made her feel better as Xander always kept his promises.

* * *

_'We parted ways, Buffy going back to Giles', and I went off in search of The Initiative._

_I performed the spell almost immediately, making sure that it still worked and to ensure that they didn't see me by chance. Luckily the spell worked; I knew that it would, but I still had a few doubts in my abilities, **especially** the magical ones._

_I walked through the park, watching the sunset and allowing myself to get used to the spell. I didn't feel any different, but with everything that I'm wearing I would expect for people to notice I'm there._

_Remembering to get out of the way was also something I had to get used to, as being ignored meant that people could and would walk right into you. Luckily, as it was nearly dark, most people had already gone home, their subconscious knowing not to stay out at night unless absolutely necessary._

_About an hour after sunset, I finally found one of the squads out on patrol. Although they didn't notice me, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a distance between us; I didn't want to get caught up in the middle of anything if they encountered any demons._

_Strangely, they don't run into any demons during their patrol, which was odd given the recent increase in demonic activity, and they were soon heading back to base. I got closer to them then, knowing that there security doors that would probably close quickly after they entered the facility._

_We ended up at a concealed entrance just outside the college grounds, which near to the frat house that they used as a cover. To be honest, I'm surprised that we hadn't seen it before; it was pretty close to where Spike and Buffy had their final confrontation, although I wasn't exactly feeling very observant at the time, and it wasn't exactly invisible._

_Anyway, once we were inside I noticed that there was another group that had only recently got back, and that they had a couple of vamps with them. I left the group that I came in with and followed the other group to where they were taking the vamps._

_I was so worried about trying to remember the way back, that I forget to look where I walked for a moment, and knocked into someone very familiar.'_

* * *

"Hey Riley, how are you?" Xander asked innocently. Instead of answering him, Riley dragged Xander into a nearby supply closet. "Last person to pull me into a closet was Cordy, and I have to tell you I don't swing that way," he went on, keeping his voice.

Riley kept switching between anger and laughter for a couple of seconds, before he went for the third option of resignation. His shoulders slumped a bit and he shook his head. "Xander, what the **hell** are you doing here?" he whispered angrily.

"You guys always talk about this place, so I thought I'd come and have a look," he replied.

Riley glared at him again, but as Xander had been glared at by the best, it didn't have the effect that he'd hoped for. "Xander…"

Knowing that he didn't have time to play about, Xander decide to tell him what was going on. "Fine, I'll tell you. Do you remember OZ?" he asked.

He looked confused for a moment before he answered. "Of course I do, he went out with Willow. What does that have to do with anything?"

"What did you think of him?" Xander could see Riley about to ask something, so he put a hand up to cut him off. "Humour me will you?"

"Nice guy," he answered, "had no problems with him until he cheated on Willow. Never thought that he was the type to stray like that."

"If I were to tell you that he had been captured and brought in here what would you say?" Xander asked.

"I'd say you were talking out of your ass, we don't capture humans," Riley replied immediately.

"But you **do** capture werewolves," Xander pointed out, and then gave Riley the Cliff Notes version of how he got bit and why he left.

"I can't believe he's a hostile," Riley said with a shake of his head.

"Using the word hostile to categorise demons is like using the word 'dumb' to categorise blondes," Xander explained, hoping that Buffy never found out he said that. "Oz is only a werewolf three nights a month, on the full moon and the nights before and after. The rest of the time he's as normal as you or me, he just has to be careful giving someone a hickie. Oz has found a way to control the change since he left so he doesn't have to be locked up, but the downside is that if he loses control of his emotions he'll transform no matter what day it is. He's my friend and I cannot, **will** not, let him get cut open and experimented on just because he's different."

"He's a demon, evil," Riley insisted, although Xander could tell that he was wavering.

"Being a demon doesn't mean you're evil, in the same way being human doesn't men you're good. If you let them do this, you're no better than the Ku Klux Klan."

"This is different," he argued.

"How?" When he didn't come up with an answer right away, Xander decided to go for broke. "Because of the minority you are condemning the majority, Oz included. You need to make a choice Riley; follow the rules or follow your conscience."

* * *

'_I was putting it all on the line now; I knew that if Riley decided against helping me, the commotion I would make in knocking him out would alert everyone I was here, and the chances of me getting Oz out alive went down drastically._

_It took a full minute before he spoke.'_

* * *

"Follow me," Riley ordered, leaving the supply closet.

Xander followed him, and Riley led him to the containment area where they find Oz still in wolf form. He was being shocked at random intervals, causing him to stay angry and making it impossible for him to focus and start his meditative techniques. It looked like there were people around that knew their stuff when it came to werewolves, either that or they just enjoyed inflicting pain for the hell of it.

"Can you shut that off?" Xander asked.

Riley didn't answer, instead he simply walked over to a nearby console and after tapping a few keys, the shocks stopped. Oz stopped growling after a moment, but Xander could see that he was still pacing and unable to think clearly.

"OK, Oz, I need you to concentrate on my voice," Xander told him as he cautiously approached the cage. Oz sniffed at him for a moment, and then padded closer as well, recognising his scent. "I need you to relax and take control like you've been doing for the past couple of months."

Xander continued to talk to Oz, keeping his tone as soothing as was possible and saying anything he could think of that would help calm him down enough to focus his mind and regain control. After a few minutes, Xander could see that Oz was beginning to regain control and revert to his human form.

Once he'd transformed completely, Xander indicated for Riley to open the door and he took some clothes in for him. "You OK?"

"Nothing an Advil couldn't fix," Oz told him. "Why did you come for me?"

Xander looked at him in shock, unable to believe Oz had asked that. "You really have to ask?"

Oz looked at him for a few seconds, before he smiled slightly and shook his head. "Not really. Thank you."

Xander simply waved the thanks away. "No problem. We better get out of here."

"You're not going anywhere Harris!" a voice snapped from behind the trio.

Forrest and half a dozen other soldiers came out of nowhere and grabbed them before they had a chance to do anything.

"Forrest," Xander greeted cordially, "always a pleasure."

Forrest walked over to Xander and punched him in the face. Having been hit by things several times stronger than Forrest on his best day, Xander barely flinched.

"Shut it!" he roared before turning to Riley. "I expected better of you Riley, never thought you'd go turncoat." Not liking being called a traitor, Riley tried to go for him but was restrained. "How can you let that… **thing** walk around free? His kind is like a virus, and we need to wipe them off the face of the Earth! You are betraying your species, you don't deserve to live, but Walsh has said we can't kill you." He then punched Riley full in the face. "She didn't say we couldn't **hurt** you though."

Xander and the others could see that the soldiers with Forrest weren't happy with the way he was acting, but they had no choice but to follow orders, as they knew they'd be treated the same way.

"What we're doing here is wrong Forrest," Riley told him, hoping to bring his friend around, "we're acting worse than what we're trying to fight. You have to see that!"

Forrest went and punched Riley hard in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. "Who are **you** to judge what is right and what is wrong?"

Xander spoke up on Riley's behalf, as he was having trouble speaking. "Same could be said for you."

* * *

'_For that remark I was rewarded with another punch to the face, and this time I did react to it. It hurt a **hell** of a lot more than it should, as normal humans don't normally have that much strength._

_Forrest was a lot angrier than he'd been the first time he struck me, but that wasn't enough to explain how he was as strong as he was. I also noticed that, although I wouldn't say that I was a powerhouse, I should at least be able to put up more resistance against the soldiers restraining me than I was, and I began to wonder what else Walsh had been experimenting on.'_

* * *

"I said shut up Harris," Forrest growled, "before I throw you in with a vamp."

Hearing that, Oz tried to go for him, his eyes flashing in anger. "You'll leave him alone!"

Not wanting WolfOz to deal with along with everything else, Xander tried to calm him down. "Oz, you need to stay calm and focussed OK?"

"Don't worry," he assured him, "I can control it enough for my wolf self not to go for you and Riley; these guys, however, will be fair game."

A plan began to form in Xander's head, but he needed to keep the others distracted. "You didn't stop yourself for going for me before," he pointed out.

A flash of guilt appeared on Oz's face before it returned to normal. "You were trying to stop me from reaching my target. Have I said sorry for charging at you yet?"

Xander smiled at him. "Have now."

Forrest pointed a Tazer rifle at Oz, but unlike Riley or myself, he didn't get too close. Something else Xander could use. "I see you begin to change, and I'll shock you so bad you'll fry from the inside out."

Xander looked over to Riley and he could tell what he was thinking. After a moments hesitation, he nodded in agreement. He did the same to Oz who also nodded, realising what he had been doing earlier.

"You won't get the chance," Xander told him.

He suddenly smashed his head back into one of the soldiers holding him, the moved breaking the guy's nose and caused him release his hold on Xander. Before the other one had a chance to react, Xander spun round and threw him over his shoulder towards Forrest, who wasn't fast enough to move out of they and they both fell down in a tangle of limbs.

In the meantime, Riley had knocked out the two holding him and OZ had transformed into the wolf and had thrown the two restraining him flying down the corridor. It seemed that he had quite a lot of control in wolf form, as he didn't go for the kill, only to incapacitate.

"Oz, you better stay in wolf form until we get somewhere safer," Xander told him, "we may need the extra muscle." He nodded, which was more than a little unnerving. Needing another way out, Xander turned to Riley. "I'm guessing they found how I got in; know of a way out?"

Riley nodded and started to run down a corridor, Xander and Oz close behind. As they headed to the exit, the sirens went off and when Riley went to use his access card, it was rejected.

"Shit!" he swore.

Xander indicated for him to move aside. "Don't worry," he assured him, "I came prepared." Xander pulled out a plain black card, and pulled of the plastic strip down one side and placed it into the slot. The acid under the strip reacted with the electronics and shorted the lock out, causing it to open the door.

"How did you do that?" Riley asked.

Xander smirked at him. "Ask me later."

They let Oz out ahead of them, and he cleared them a path until they were outside of the facility and in one of the multitude of caves that travel the breadth of Sunnydale.

About a minute after they started walking through the cave, they spotted the exit and just as they were about to use it, a figure came out of the shadows, the moonlight glinting off the metal it was wearing. When it came further into the light, they could see that it wasn't **wearing** the metal, it was part of it. It stood a good seven feet in height, and looked like it was a mishmash of robotic, demon and human parts.

Xander thought he had seen some weird shit in the years since he met Buffy, but that took the biscuit. "Riley, have any idea what the hell that is?"

Riley looked over to him and shook his head. "I was hoping you would know," he replied.

They both turned back to look at whatever it was as it came closer to them, and they both took a step back on instinct. Xander could see that Oz was having to restrain himself from charging at it, but he doubted that the werewolf would come out of it in one piece if he did; that thing looked like it could rip them all apart without breaking a sweat, and he didn't want to test that theory out.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris," it intoned, "Riley Augustus Finn, I am ADAM."

* * *

'_I think we both heard the capital letters in his name, and I didn't know about Riley, but I was starting to think we'd got ourselves stuck in a modern day remake of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein._

_We managed to be mature enough not to snicker at each other's middle names, although it was a considerable effort; come on, **Augustus**? I never thought I'd hear a middle name worse than mine._

_Anyway, we maintained our composure despite everything, which given that we were facing a very large and very deadly looking… thing, wasn't exactly a bad idea._

_I didn't like the fact that it knew who we were, as that did not, in any way, mean good things for either of us.'_

* * *

"What do you want?" Xander asked.

ADAM tuned to him, and it seemed like it was looking **through** him for a few moments before it spoke. "I want nothing, from you at least." It then turned its attention to Riley. "Mother will not be pleased with you brother, going against her wishes, her plan. Apart from me, you are her favourite, made to be the strongest. I will not stop you brother, you are far too important to the final phase to be hurt. I will come for you when the time is right."

With that it disappeared back into the shadows. Xander and Riley looked at each other and, realising that they were still not out of the woods yet, they made a break for the exit.

They came out of a cave entrance on the outskirts of town, miles from anywhere. "Looks like we got ourselves a nice little run before we're safe," Xander commented.

Wanting to make sure that they had time to get away, Xander placed a C4 charge at the mouth of the cave and, once they were far enough away, detonated it, causing the cave entrance to collapse in on itself, sealing the entrance under several tonnes of rock.

"Was there any need to do that?" Riley asked, wondering whether anyone was trapped under all that.

Xander just looked at him for a moment and Riley relented from asking him anything further. They continued to run, Riley on Xander's left and Oz on his right. After a couple of minutes silence, Xander turned his head to Riley.

"I'm sorry it went that way Riley," he told him sincerely, "I was hoping I would be able to get in and out again without detection. I never meant for you to get involved."

"I know that, but I am involved now, a traitor," he replied glumly.

"You did what was right; we both know that what's going on there is wrong. I find it hard to believe that everything that you're doing is sanctioned, so you can't be charged for betraying illegal orders."

"We're a black ops operation; there are probably only two or three people outside the facility that would have any idea we are actually here. Maggie Walsh has free reign to do as she wishes."

"No one gets **that** much free reign," Xander countered, "and if I'm wrong, well, that's something we'll just have to change."

* * *

'_He nodded in agreement, but I could tell that Riley wasn't taking a lot in. I couldn't really blame him really; he'd effectively threw away his career by helping me, and with the way Walsh and Forrest had been acting, he probably had a target on his back._

_Saying that, the walking jigsaw puzzle back there said that Walsh had plans for Riley, but I doubted that was any better._

_We stopped when we reached the warehouse district, as I knew of a few hiding places around here that Riley could use for the time being. I knew that his 'retrieval' would be on the top of The Initiative's priorities, no matter the reasons behind it._

_I handed him a second set of clothes, the ones that I was going to wear once I got out with OZ.'_

* * *

"Change into these," Xander told him.

"Why?" Riley asked.

"We have no idea whether you're tagged or not," he explained. "I wouldn't put it past Walsh to want to know where you all are at all times." He could see the logic in it and changed clothes. He then gave his fatigues to Oz, who ran off at a sprint with them to hide them somewhere.

Xander indicated for Riley to follow him, and he led him to the warehouse that Spike had used to keep him and Willow captured last year. "I'll come over tomorrow and bring you some clothes and some supplies until we can work out something else."

"Thanks" Riley replied gratefully. "I can't believe it's gone down like this. I had considered requesting a transfer or simply quitting once I knew what was going on; now the best I can hope for is a dishonourable discharge."

"If we can prove that what Walsh has been doing is against orders, we can have her shut down, and you can continue in the military."

"As I said before, she has free reign."

"We both know how many demons you captured, and the amount of experiments that have been conducted. She should have been able to prove or disprove all of her theories by now, and yet she continues. On top of that, there is no **way** that ADAM could be part of the remit; working out how to subdue demons does **not** include making a human/demon cyborg."

"You can't say that it was made by The Initiative," Riley argued weakly. Xander could see that he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else, and one look from him caused Riley to nod in acquiescence, no longer trying to hide from the truth. "So now what?" he asked.

"I haven't wanted to do too much about The Initiative, not wanting to risk Buffy and the others. Now they'll be coming for us anyway, we might as well go for broke, especially now we have Frankenstein's grandson roaming round. Willow is the best when it comes to finding information on computers; Oz is the only one I know that could challenge her to the title. If there's a way in she'll find it, and she'll also find whatever it is that Walsh is doing."

"I doubt she'll leave any evidence," Riley commented.

"She's intelligent definitely, but she's also arrogant and overconfident," Xander replied. "She's too sure of her own power to worry about being caught out. You've said it yourself; she's got free reign when it comes to The Initiative, and a group of college kids won't seem like much of a threat, even with recent events. I just hope it won't take too long."

"Why?"

"I don't want to give her time to reach the final phase," Xander said, knowing that although they had no idea what it was, it would not be of the good.

"Anything I can do?"

"Stay low and don't get caught," Xander replied quickly, "they need you for something, so we have to make sure they don't get you."

"I don't like being out of the fight," Riley told him, his tone showing how much of an understatement that was.

"I know how you feel, but if you get caught then it could be **all** our asses. I also doubt that they need you to make up the numbers at poker night," he pointed out.

Riley nodded in agreement; they both had a feeling that he'd been earmarked for a similar 'upgrade' to ADAM.

"I'll keep out of sight," Riley assured him, "I know their procedures so I can keep ahead of them. Make sure you and the others stay safe as well; you can't save the world if you're dead."

"Will do." At that moment they heard a howl, indicating that Oz had returned. "I've got to go."

He left Riley in the warehouse and went outside to meet Oz. "When we get to Giles'," Xander told him, "you can use my training gear to change in."

* * *

_'He nodded his assent and we made our way back, not stopping until we got to Giles' place. **Our** place dammit; I'm going to have to remember that at some point._

_As soon as I opened the door, Oz bounded down to the training room to transform and change into my workout clothes, causing the others in the room to jump out of their skin. I knew that they would be big on him, but it would be better than being butt naked in front of everyone, unless you like that sort of thing of course._

_As soon as Buffy spotted me, she came running up to me, and almost knocked me over when she leapt at me. I barely caught her in time, but I didn't care; seeing that beaming smile was worth it._

_The others kept themselves at a distance from us, realising that we needed our moment. After a couple of minutes, Giles caught our attention by clearing his throat. I carried Buffy to the couch as she seemed to have no desire to get down and carefully sit, placing Buffy on my lap before turning to Giles.'_

* * *

"Xander are you alright?" Giles asked.

"As well as I can be Giles," Xander replied, "but I'll talk about it in detail later."

Willow and Tara come over and gave both Buffy and him a hug before sitting back down on the other couch. When Oz came back up, he finally noticed that Tara was in the room. This time, instead of acting out of anger, he looked extremely guilty at how he had acted before. Everyone thought that it was the most expressive any of them had seen him, Willow included.

"Tara, I'm so sorry about how I acted," he told her sincerely. "If I knew that I would act that way, I swear I would have stayed away."

* * *

'_We could all see that he was almost dying inside at the thought of what could have happened. I'm guessing that it took a while for him to have the control on his emotions that he normally had, especially with what he'd been going through the past day or so._

_Tara had initially looked terrified of him when he came in, which I couldn't really blame her for as he was in full werewolf form at the time. She was also scared when he came back up, that was until she looked him in the eyes._

_She slowly got up from the couch and walked over to him, stopping slightly when she saw him flinch and take a step back. She continued after a moment and was eventually right in front of him. She tentatively put a hand on his shoulder.'_

* * *

"I-I forgive y-you," she whispered.

This is probably the boldest anyone had ever seen Tara, and Xander was immensely proud of her. Oz looked in her eyes for a moment, and when he could see she was genuine, he got the largest smile on his face the others had ever seen; he was smiling so wide it looked like his face could split in two at any moment.

It actually began to freak them out to see Oz so expressive; it was just so not like him. Tara moved away and sat back down, and was quickly drawn into a sideways hug by Willow.

Oz watched them for a moment before his smile disappeared and he returned to his normal stoic self. "I have to leave," he told them all, although he was looking at Willow when he said it. "I thought that I had control but I don't, and this is the wrong place to be if I lose it."

Willow looked at him with sadness; she no longer had any romantic feelings for him, but she still considered him a friend. "You don't have to…"

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Yes, I do. Until I can control myself enough to be able to deal with real life without wolfing out, I'm a liability to everyone around me. Believe me when I say that I don't want to go, especially with what you're having to face at the moment, but I have to for everyone's sake."

Xander could see how it was affecting him and decided to speak up. "I know how hard this must be for you Oz, and I can tell that this is something you feel you have to do. I understand, but I want you to know that you will always have friends here, and if you ever need anything, we're just a phone call away. Phoning in every month or so wouldn't be a bad idea either, just so we can catch up." It wasn't until he had come back that the others had realised that they'd all missed Oz; whether we always get along or not, he'll **always** be a Scooby. "Don't worry about leaving because of what happened tonight either," Xander assured him as he went on, "it's probably better that you're not here in case things turn nasty."

Xander didn't want to say it out loud, but if things did get bad, he wasn't sure whether Oz would be a liability or not if the pressure got to him.

"Thanks, for everything," Oz said to him again.

"Not a problem, what are friends for?" he replied with a shrug.

Oz went over and shook Xander's hand and gave Buffy a quick hug, and then went over and said his goodbyes to the others, promising to stay in touch more than he did last time he left.

He went to the front door and, after taking one last look at us all, left Sunnydale for the second, but hopefully not the last, time.

"What did Oz mean when he said he didn't want to go 'especially with what you're having to face at the moment'?" Buffy asked once he'd gone.

Xander went on to explain everything that had happened tonight, and the possible ramifications. He also explained what he wanted to do.

"I'm not sure how much I'll be able to retrieve Xan," Willow told him uncertainly, "government agencies are known to use the best security programs available, not to mention I haven't been keeping up with the latest technologies."

"They're only the best because you haven't designed one yet, and you at your worst is still better than most at their best," he told her assuredly, causing Willow to smile at his confidence in her. "We need to try and get Walsh and The Initiative shut down, and if that fails, we need to find as much information on that thing as we can so we can destroy it."

They all just sit there in silence for several minutes, mulling over everything Xander had told them, and the possible repercussions of what he had planned. Giles was the first one able to speak.

"You do realise that you're suggesting we take on, in essence, the US government?" he pointed out.

"We're teenagers," Xander replied simply, "that's the sort of thing we should be doing; 'power to the people' and all that jazz."

Giles laughed at that, surprising everyone but Xander. "I knew I should never have told you about BBC America."

"Well it might come in handy; if everything gets FUBAR we can always relocate to merry old England. Giles can show us Big Ben and Stonehenge, have us eat jellied eels, and maybe even visit the Queen."

"Yes Xander, very droll. What is FUBAR by the way?" he asked.

"Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition," he answered, and everyone agreed that particular phrase summed up what would happen if they failed.

"Ah."

"In all seriousness" Xander went on, "I know that what I'm suggesting is big, but we've never let that stop us from doing what's right before. Knowing what people like Walsh are like, I doubt she'll leave us alone, especially once Forrest is finished telling her how we've been helping her men without her knowledge. That's not taking into account ADAM and this final phase. I know that this is a lot to take in, but we need to make a decision; we can either wait for them to come after us, or we take the initiative, pardon the pun, and go after them first."

* * *

'_I looked at them all, waiting for their decision. They all look at each other and after a silent communication they all nodded their heads._

_Buffy was the one who spoke.'_

* * *

"We're in." 


End file.
